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Reading Reviews for Fracture
30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maraudertimes Shattered

30th August 2016:
Okay, I said I was on the verge of tears but gosh darn Kaitlin! I should be in bed right now, not crying over a Teddy/Victoire fic!

This was beautiful in the sense that I can't get certain phrases out of my head, that I can't seem to stop picturing everything you've written about. Your way with words is amazing and you've transformed 25 pieces of 100 words into a story of new love/old love, of heartbreak, of betrayal. You've basically 'Shattered' me.

The fact that it ends the way it does is awful, especially because it seems like Victoire was trying her best to make everything work. She went to counselling, she stuck by Teddy through thick and thin. I think cheating is one of the absolute worst thing you can do to a spouse emotionally, and the fact that he seems to have ended up with Cara hurts.

This is an amazing story and I understand 'His Footsteps' that much better now, except I don't know if I wanted to because this is so sad and I am so heartbroken!!

This was an experience and I loved reading it, your work is stellar Kaitlin!
Lo (imagine a heart here)

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Review #2, by maraudertimes Comme ci, Comme ça

30th August 2016:
Okay, I came to this story to garner some backstory for the last review, and decided that since the chapters were so short that I would review the first three and then the last two in two separate reviews.

OMG Kaitlin why are you doing this. Everything in 'His Footsteps' makes so much more sense, but then again, it just makes it that much more heartbreaking.

The start, their love story, it is everything. It is what dreams are made of, it is a fairy tale. You've captured this wondrous, happy relationship at its peak. It's something that can happen to no one and everyone. And then their time apart. It's obvious that Teddy's choice is not necessarily a choice for him, so much as a need to connect with a father he never knew, which makes it all the more heartbreaking.

On one hand you have Remus, who fought through the First War, through lycanthropy, through so much hatred and judgement from others, and still managed to stay his own man. On the other hand you have Teddy, who was in a different war, what seems like a worse war. And to be completely honest, I don't think either of them really survived.

It's amazing what you've done, to show this much emotion in such small snippets of a person's life, and I applaud you for it. I'm going to continue reading, but I just want you to know that I'm on the verge of tears - which is a good thing because it speaks to the power you have with words.


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Review #3, by Unwritten Curse Shattered

28th January 2016:

*hysteric crying*


*crude nose-blowing*

Okay, I'm here.

And I don't know what to say.

So I'll start with a logistical question because I can't deal with my emotions right now.

Did you do research on magical weddings? Are they like Unbreakable Vows? I thought the scene were their marriage vows are reversed was quite interesting, with the golden bands coming undone. Or did you make that up? Either way, it's fascinating stuff. It makes wizard weddings seem more… special? Permanent? I don't know, but it's really neat.

I don't know what to say about Teddy. He's completely irredeemable at this point and it makes me so sad. How will his family treat him after this? Will this tear them apart? And how will Victoire deal with this? Is she going to be okay? She deserves love. She deserves someone who will be patient and kind, like she had been with Teddy before her STEPPED ALL OVER HER POOR, FRAGILE HEART.

This is such a complex story. You explore war and mental illness and heartache and inadequacy and familial relationships and aloneness and hurt and potential healing. I'm in awe of your skills and at the way you manage to paint such a vast story with so few words.

Just wow.


Author's Response: Hey Gina!

I'm sorry. Don't hate me.

On the magical divorce, I made it up. In a few of my other stories I discuss marriage and I always imagined it being similar to the unbreakable vow. So here, since they're getting a divorce, I figured there must be a process to reverse it.

Unfortunately, this is a very real scenario when young people go through things like war and mental illness. I don't know if I even think that Teddy is bad person. I just think he's really damaged.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words!


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Review #4, by Unwritten Curse Crumbling

28th January 2016:

"Our marriage bed has become our funeral pyre and our relationship is slowly dying on it." - OMG. You really have a way with words. This is stunning.

Again, you manage to pack so much power into so few words. The scene in which Teddy is drunk and they end up in bed and then we end with a short sentence: "In the morning, Teddy doesn't remember." Such a simple sentence, but it carries a great deal of emotion. And your choice to end the section on that line was spot on. The pause afterwards gives us time to soak in those words (and cry hysterically…).


Everyone always seems to depict Teddy as this perfect, do-good guy and I've always liked that portrayal, but I suppose being raised by Harry and co. doesn't mean he'll be a good guy. Some people just aren't good guys and maybe Teddy wasn't one of them.

Then again, we're also not getting his side of the story… But what on earth could Victoire have possibly done wrong?

*cries herself to sleep*


Author's Response: Hey Gina!

That's one of my favorite lines. I'm so glad you picked up on it.

Drunk, damaged people can do cruel things and unfortunately Teddy is not very healthy at the moment. I'm glad you liked the choice to end there.

It's hard not to hate Teddy right now.

I don't think Teddy started out as a bad guy. I think war and life damaged him.

I don't think Victoire did anything wrong either. It's just the disintegration of their relationship due to life experience.


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Review #5, by Unwritten Curse Comme ci, Comme ça

28th January 2016:

This is so hard. I'm having a really hard time not hating Teddy for the way he's treating Victoire. He's being a total monster to her and she still hasn't left him. She's being so kind and patient and instead of being grateful he's treating her like crap.

But at the same time I know why. I know it's because he's struggling with his own inner demons and I can't imagine how hard that struggle is.

Gah. I just… How far can we blame mental illness? You know? Where is the line between mental illness and a person being a jerk? How much slack can we cut him? If he won't even seek help, then… then I can be mad at him, right?

I'm so conflicted.

And I feel so heartbroken for Victoire.

I'm sad that she feels like an outsider with her own family. She needs support. I'm glad her family is at least thinking of her and Teddy, suggesting a place for therapy and whatnot. But I wish she had someone to talk to, you know? Someone to really talk to. Maybe she can go to therapy herself.

This is so sad…


Author's Response: Hey Gina!

So you hit on something pretty deep here. This is exactly it. You can't blame someone for mental illness, but can you stick around for it forever while someone treats you badly?

I think that some of Victoire's loneliness comes from the isolation in her relationship. I think if she didn't feel so embarassed about the situation, she'd actually find her family quite supportive.

Thanks for all of your lovely reviews!


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Review #6, by Unwritten Curse Rumblings of War

28th January 2016:



This is really beautiful. I keep saying that and I probably sound like a broken record but I just can't image what else I can say, what other word I can use. Beautiful is what keeps coming to mind. The words you use, the issues you face head on, the characters as they blossom and wilt. Oh my heart.

I'm guessing that Teddy is experiencing PTSD in this section and I think you depict it well. It's very sad to see this happening to a hero and equally as sad to see it beginning to tear apart their relationship. Their marriage. (Which, by the way, I loved the snippet in which they are married and it's a simple affair with lilies and… I'm rambling now, but that was a memorable scene.)

I hate seeing Victoire like this. I mean, this is how I picture her: always trying to smooth out a conflict and always looking for the good in people, even if she gets hurt. But I hate that she's hurting here. Her good nature means that she's getting taken advantage of. How sad.

Off to the next chapter for more heartache…


Author's Response: Hey Gina!

I'm sorry. :(

It was a challenge to write 100 word snippets about such a deep subject. I feel like I really could've written a million more and barely scratched the surface.

Teddy is indeed experiencing PTSD. It is a very realistic consequence of war and something many young people are affected by. Unfortunately, I've personally experienced and know many people who have been through similar things.

Victoire is doing what she thinks she needs to do to make things work. As she grows, she will learn that sometimes trying to put broken things back together only leaves you cut up and injured. It's a tough lesson, but she'll get there.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! And I wish I could promise that it would get happier.


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Review #7, by Unwritten Curse First Love

28th January 2016:

I can't believe I haven't read this yet! I've been meaning to read the other Super Microfiction entries. I'm so attracted to writing that's quick and concise. It's thrilling.


This is another clever piece. Seeing snapshots into Victoire and Teddy's relationship, moving from a crush to a relationship to an engagement. I literally felt butterflies when Teddy pulled her aside to tell her that he loved her. Genuine butterflies. That was a sweet moment and the contrast added to that--that she was running late, being a bit short with him, and he just gently said, "I love you."


I'm nervous to keep reading now because I know what's coming. Based on the summary and the banner I just… I can't do it, Kaitlin. You're going to break my heart again!

Also, are these snippets all exactly 100 words? Because if so, that is incredible. You never cease to surprise and amaze me!


Author's Response: Hey Gina!

I know what you mean. I love the microfiction ideas too.

I'm glad you enjoyed my fumbling attempts at a fluffy chapter. :D It's definitely not my forte.

I wish I could tell you otherwise. I'm sorry Gina.

Yes. Every single snippet for the entire story is exactly 100 words.

Thanks for the lovely reviews!


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Review #8, by TidalDragon Shattered

21st December 2015:
Honestly, Kaitlin, I didn't know if it was possible for the saga to get more cruel, but then I suppose it's true to life that there's always that possibility.

I thought the way you described the ritual of "undoing" marriage in the wizarding world emphasized that even more. I know it requires appearances in some states, but in most, including where I am now, it's possible to achieve that legal finality without such ceremony - indeed without even being present. From paper it's born in a legal sense and in paper it goes to die.

It was, of course, the final scene that was most crushing though. It's not just the image though that makes it so effective, nor the realization, but the sharp contrast between the brilliant, soaring beginning and this sad end - the dream destroyed for one in its rebirth in the other.

This was an excellent piece Kaitlin, even if it took me back to some dark places. I suppose the fact that it evoked them was a testament to it.

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Review #9, by TidalDragon Crumbling

21st December 2015:
UGH! Kaitlin! The infidelity! Poor Victoire. There was more feeling in this for me because it was, I think, so true to the death of a marriage, especially one where the people have utterly lost touch, whatever the reason may be, and one is clinging to the hope that it can be saved, despite their own worries and fears to the contrary.

The way that the emptiness truly grew into yawning distance in this chapter was painful to read even in such short supply. It definitely reminded me of some times in my own life, knowing what the later and later nights mean, but trying not to believe it until it all comes crashing down.

I felt for Victoire even more in that moment - but from a writing perspective, I think you deserve to be told that the simplicity of the line that broke her at the end was brilliant.

See you at the finish line!

Author's Response: Hey Kevin,

I'm so glad you said that. I really wanted this to be close to reality. Just a sort of sad, desperate failing.

It is definitely painful to see that distance grow, especially when you've been through it before. I know that I found it particularly painful.

Thank you so much for your kind words.


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Review #10, by TidalDragon Comme ci, Comme ça

21st December 2015:
This chapter didn't speak to me quite as much for some reason, but I think it's probably because we're well and truly in the trough here and in a way there's almost a tragic complacency in Rose in this installment. She seems a husk of her former self, just as their relationship does.

I do think it was a nice touch to incorporate the response of the family though as it gives us a different lens to look at things through and indeed, Albus's suggestion turns out to be yet another flashpoint that demonstrates just how far Teddy has fallen and how dark his future has likely become.

See you in Chapter 4!

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Review #11, by TidalDragon Rumblings of War

21st December 2015:
Well, you had to go and break things didn't you (and I'm not talking about the dishes)?

This chapter made me sad on a lot of levels. First, for the wizarding world, that they would relapse into war for a third time in such quick succession - no real chance of healing, limited opportunity for growth, and so much devastation - minds, bodies, souls.

Of course I also felt awful for Victoire. Again in such a short stretch of words you manage to capture her pain, uncertainty, and yearning. And then Teddy...you warned us about this at beginning...with brilliant phrasing mind you. My suspicion is that Teddy's break is PTSD or some sort of irrational jealously/suspicion - maybe both. I definitely fear for the two of them, especially if the war deepens and they are forced to be apart much longer.

Charging on to Chapter 3!

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Review #12, by TidalDragon First Love

21st December 2015:
Howdy Kaitlin! I'm dropping by here for the gift exchange! Fair warning, I'll probably leave my longest review on the last chapter once it's all come together, but...here I am.

I thought the structure you used here was perfect for what you wanted to achieve. I know part of the segmenting was imposed by the challenge itself, but you did something productive with it - using the limitation to your advantage to advance time to the point you wanted in the relationship by the end of the chapter as well as emphasize these key moments in that development.

Perhaps my favorite snapshot was the one of Teddy and Victoire's "first time." You left it understated, but also captured so much about them and the experience for Victoire in the 100 words you had. It takes real talent to accomplish so much in so little space.

On to the next chapter for me!

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Review #13, by The ox and the donkey Shattered

10th December 2015:
Hello, Kaitlin.
It is us, the ox and the donkey, come to keep you warm in this December frost.
And for Advent calendar day 6 (even if it is already over), we'd decided to check this fascinating story you have here.

This last chapter was so hard to read.
We were really hoping in some sort of happy ending, even if we knew from the very start that it probably wouldn't happen.
Poor Victoire... we need to send some of our warmth her way. How horrible is it, after all she's suffered trying to keep their relationship alive, to see him happy with another woman, building a family with someone else.

The whole story was just heartbreaking. We are really, really sad right now. But it was also so stunningly written, and you managing it so brilliantly while keeping such a strict word count really gives the measure of your talent!
Congratulations for the superlative job you did!

Now we really have to go, a lot of other people need our warmth around here. But thank you for sharing this lovely story with us.

Happy holidays.
The ox and the donkey.

Author's Response: Hello Ox and Donkey!

Thank you for stopping by.

Unfortunately, there is no happy ending to this story, unless you consider the fact that Victoire has gotten away from a man who was no longer good for her. But I agree, she could probably use some warmth and maybe a big hug.

I'm sorry that this made you sad, but am glad you thought it was well written.

Thank you so much for this lovely review and for the warmth!

Happy Holidays!


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Review #14, by MuggleMaybe Shattered

5th December 2015:
How can that be the end?! I thought maybe by the last moment we'd see Vic healing, and I suppose she is moving in that direction, but I'm left with this desperation to know whether or not things can ever be okay for her again. Which is brilliant, because that's probably just what she's wondering, too.

This story is so beautifully, horribly, honest. You don't skirt the truth about this experience at all - I hate to think how you know these emotions so well :hug:

I think this topic works well for microstories because we don't know how Vic gets from one moment to the next, and neither does she. She doesn't how how this was allowed to happen, or "what she did wrong" (nothing, obviously), or anything like that. Everything is immediate, and more powerful because of it.

This was really difficult to read because it was just so painful. It was worth it, though.

Thank you so much for entering the challenge. I'm so glad I had the chance to read this story!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hey Renee!

Ahh. Yeah. Sorry about that. Even though this doesn't seem like the happiest ending, Victoire is definitely healing.

Most of the feelings in this story come from personal experience, but I've twisted it a bit and shaped it into something a little more unique to them.

You hit the nail on the head with that assessment. I thought it would really help the shock level to sort of jump from one moment to the next.

I'm sorry it was painful, but I'm glad you felt it was worth reading. It was sort of a cathartic release for me.

Thanks for this lovely challenge!


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Review #15, by MuggleMaybe Crumbling

5th December 2015:
Oh no. At least I can say this: my fears were well founded.

This line: "Our marriage bed has become our funeral pyre and our relationship is slowly dying on it." Holy cow. What an analogy!

The fact that Vic holds out hope so long makes the crumbling marriage even more heart wrenching. Then, later, that *she* feels guilty for wanting to leave him when she's done her so much wrong is so, so sad. I'm glad she has Albus and Rose, at least.

Oh no, that letter - what a terrible way to find out. :(

I wonder what will happen next - I hope she leaves him. Onward to more tears.

Author's Response: Hey Renee,

The end of a marriage is always such a messy thing and there is a lot of guilt associated with it in normal circumstances. It takes a long time to let go of that. I really wanted to make that clear here.

It's definitely a good thing that she has Albus and Rose.

Thanks for this review (and all the others)!


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Review #16, by MuggleMaybe Comme ci, Comme ça

5th December 2015:
Hello again, dear!

Everything is unraveling. I wish I could jump inside the story and hug Victoire. Each moment, each memory, is so believable. This feels so real.

Thank goodness for Albus.

This sentence: "It's like I don't even exist anymore." Oh my god, so much pain for her. *cries*

I am almost afraid to read the next chapter.

as always, this is great. xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm sure Victoire would like a hug at this point. I'm glad it feels real. I really wanted this to connect with real life.

I wish I could say it was going to get easier in the next chapter. Maybe get a mug of hot chocolate first?

Thanks for the review!


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Review #17, by MuggleMaybe Rumblings of War

5th December 2015:
Ah, here it is. I can feel that she loves him now, and when they get married she does seem happy, as well as when he comes home safe.

The section with the owl is really interesting, because she's so anxious, and I *know* that feeling. But then, in this case, it's a false alarm. You gave me this panicked feeling on Victoire's behalf, and then a sigh of relief. You lured me into a false sense of security with that and the next part.

And then - oh, no. Poor Teddy. Poor Vic. They have started to break.

Onto the next chapter, which will probably give me even more feels than this one.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hey Renee,

Victoire certainly loves Teddy and he certainly loves her. I think this is where those feelings sort of start to go from girlish infatuation to real deep love.

I'm glad that you felt a false sense of security there. Having been married to someone who deployed to war, I know the feeling of jumping every time the phone rings. I really wanted that to show in Victoire's experience.

There definitely is a crack in their relationship at this point, but it isn't over yet. Hold out hope.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by MuggleMaybe First Love

5th December 2015:
Hi, Kaitlin! I'm here (at last) to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. Because I want to review every chapter, your reviews might be a bit shorter. We'll see... sometimes I get carried away ;)

This first installment is very sweet. Especially when Teddy tells Vic that he loves her. However, I suspect the sweetness isn't going to last. You've done a nice job of capturing the budding romance while also foreshadowing tension in the future - because despite the fluffy nature of the scenes, this isn't fluffy. And Vic never really seems *happy*, you know?

I guess I'll find out soon enough if I'm right...

Author's Response: Hey Renee!

No worries. They're short chapters anyway, so it would be hard to leave long reviews.

I really wanted the first chapter to be childish and innocent. They are very young and although they think they're in love, it hasn't really been tested yet.

Vic is happy at this point, but she's happy in a sort of naive way. Things will change as she grows.

Thanks for the review and for such a fun challenge!


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Review #19, by cherry_pop94 Shattered

1st December 2015:

The girl at the end (Cara?) is pregnant! I felt all of Victoire's pain at that. I cannot imagine how much that must of hurt her - to know that he was so deeply unhappy with her and now Teddy has found someone else and that girl is living the life Victoire should have had.

I just can't help but think of what Victoire and Teddy could have been if he hadn't gone off to war. But I just can't get past how much he hurt her. They weren't meant to be and I wish they'd never happened so that Victoire never has to feel that pain.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story Kaitlin! It really was beautiful and though it broke my heart into a million pieces, I'm glad I read this.

Thanks for a fun swap!


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Review #20, by cherry_pop94 Crumbling

1st December 2015:
I didn't know it was possible for this story to hurt me more than it already has, but Victoire's pain in this one was just so heavy.

In just 500 words I can feel a whole lifetime of her pain. The last section was just... I think I hate Teddy. When he drunkenly said that he still loved her I had some hope, but you took that all away Kaitlin. I do hope Victoire leaves Teddy. She deserves so much better.

One chapter left!


Author's Response: Hey Stefanie!

I'm sorry that this story made you hurt, but I'm glad it had some emotional impact.

I think the thing to remember with Teddy is that he's in a really messed up place.

Sorry to give you false hope. :(

Thank you for all of your lovely reviews!


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Review #21, by cherry_pop94 Comme ci, Comme ça

1st December 2015:
My heart is absolutely broken, Kaitlin.

Teddy and Victoire from chapter one deserved all the happiness in the world together, but I just cannot support a man like the one you've described here. It broke my heart to see Teddy call the Weasley's Victoire's family. They're his family too and always have been :'(

The last part was really sad. Victoire's just seems to resigned. Like she's given up entirely on the happiness she once had. I do hope Teddy gets help.


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Review #22, by cherry_pop94 Rumblings of War

1st December 2015:

My heart stopped when I read the first sentence. Does the wizarding world never find peace? This was a great chapter though. I caught my breath several times as war started, Teddy went away, he came back, they got married.

And then you sprung that last section on me. My heart leaped right out of my chest. And I can tell it's only going to hurt more as I read on. I'm curious to know where Teddy's anger is coming from. I just cannot imagine the sweet, lovely Teddy from the last chapter hurting Victoire.

I'm definitely reading the rest of this now.


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Review #23, by cherry_pop94 First Love

1st December 2015:
Hello Kaitlin!

I'm here for our swap. I've got a soft spot in my heart for Teddy and Victoire and for microfiction. I think it takes tremendous talent to tell a story in so few words and you've done it marvelously here. It's so sweet and cute and fluffy. It's all just so innocently beautiful.

You've told a lovely story of love here. But your summary says heartbreak... I simply must read on. This is so short anyway, I feel bad having you read such a long chapter of mine!

On to the next one!


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Review #24, by bigblackdog Shattered

1st December 2015:
hi Kaitlin!

i think this microfiction format really works for you. there was a very clear arch of their relationship which included a lot of different complicated emotions, including warm fuzzies (from your AP i get the feeling you don't write a lot of fluff. i like that this format gave you an opportunity to include some quality fluff while still breaking my heart into a million pieces).

i like the contrast between some of the more intense moments, like teddy throwing dishes, with the fluff of the first chapter and the numbness of the later chapters, like victoire saying "so-so."

i'm actually really drawn to rose's character in this. i think you pinpointed a very real reaction to difficult events and i love the reality of friend who doesn't understand your every emotion.

these are some of my favorite lines (from all five chapters):

I nod my head slightly and kiss him before returning to the buttons.

“Comme ci, comme ça,” I say with a shrug.

We fall into bed and tangle into each other. It’s drunken and sloppy, but it’s something.
In the morning, Teddy doesn’t remember.

The guilt at forsaking our vows is eating me alive, but to her it’s just words.

i would love to see you try out more microfiction in the future!


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Review #25, by Felpata Lupin Comme ci, Comme ça

9th November 2015:
Oh, my... This is even more depressing than last chapter... If only Teddy could accept some help... But that's never easy, is it?

The fact that it is simpler when he isn't there, or when he doesn't acknoledge her at all says a lot. And it's just so sad...

I really wish someone would talk to him. Harry for instance. After all, he's like a father fkr Teddy and a parental figure is exactly what Teddy might need right now.

I don't know, I just want them both to be happy and safe. And I sort of hope they can be happy and safe together... Is it too much to ask?

I'll be back! Great job!

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