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Reading Reviews for The Dragon of my Heart
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by notreallyblonde44 The Dragon of my Heart

14th December 2015:
Hi Alarte! notreallyblonde44 here with your requested review, months later, sorry for the wait!

Nifty title, intriguing summary, and pretty banner. You know, this may the second Neville fic I’ve ever read on the forums, so that’s exciting! My reviewing style is me commenting as I read, like a line edit, then with a summarization of my thoughts and great things you did at the end :)

‘Platform Nine and three Quarters’ – 9 ľ would work here too

‘The journey home has been no different.’ – no different from what?

Not sure if I’m buying his Gran having a car….though I adore her character and their interaction. I’m glad she believes her grandson, she’s a fierce character and this moment is precious between them as Neville’s growing up.

‘Only when s he stopped in front’ – random floating s ?

I like the letter and insights into Frank’s thoughts during the First War. Interesting that you picked this event as the catalyst for Neville’s transformation into this “dragon” or very brave Gryffindor. I adore Frank’s sentiments, though maybe a bit much in the sense that the imagery goes really deep into repeating dragon this, dragon that, baby dragon-why this image for a newborn? What’s with Frank’s dragon obsession haha.

Anywho, super sweet one-shot. I liked the connections you made between wars and Neville and his Gran’s relationships, as well as Neville’s growth and inner strength. I would not want to get on this grown up Neville’s bad side ;)

Best,
Ellie

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Review #2, by Owlpost68 The Dragon of my Heart

24th October 2015:
Hi, I thought I'd do the review swap you suggested. This was really interesting. I liked most of it, but I don't really understand what his father wrote about his baby not being like the others, that they never gave him presents or held him or being doomed to shame the family. Was that referencing his skill in Divination? Also about knowing how brave Harry was when he was just a baby? I felt like that could have been a little better explained.

I did really love the connection you showed between his father and Neville, also, I very nearly freaked out when I saw that Neville's been using his dad's wand which was another Pheonix Feather!! It makes total sense to me :)

So, besides those few things I mentioned, I really liked this. The connection between him and his grandmother was also great, he mostly just talks about her being strict and comparing him to his parents, it was nice to see her being a bit more compassionate.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hello :D

The wand reference astounded me too! There are a lot of things hidden in JKR's books that we have only barely scratched the surface!

I've always thought Gran was just being tough to make sure Neville wasn't spoiled. I guess Harry and Neville had the perfect grooming to grow up into a terror-filled world :)

I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #3, by Gabriella Hunter The Dragon of my Heart

24th October 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums and I'm here with your review. It's also lovely to meet you, I don't think we've spoken before! :D

Ah, this was great. I really think there needs to be more stories featuring Neville because he's such a wonderful character. He has so much courage and I think that you showed a much deeper part of him that I usually don't get to see.

This story starts on such an ominous note because we all know what's going to happen in the coming months but I love that Neville is so determined to make a difference. He understands Harry and what he might go through but at the same time, he's loyal and supportive. He knows what he has to do and while it won't be easy, I was just blown away by how strong he was. The most powerful scene, aside from him reading his father's diary (Right in the feels!) was simply his conversation with his grandmother.

There was a great connection between them that I really enjoyed. Neville's grandmother has always seemed so hard but I like that you softened her up here and her reaction to him reading his father's diary was just beautiful. ;__;

I have to say though that his father's diary was just wonderfully written. There was so much heart to it that I think I could feel all the love he put into those pages. It was a bit cruel of people to not like baby Neville though (What snobs!) but the adoration that Frank had for him was so poignant. I felt a little teary eyed reading it and you did such a great job conveying that. The ending of course was perfect too and you can sense Neville becoming who he needs to be, versus what everyone expects. Fantastic way to wrap everything up! You go, Dragon! ;__;

CC: I think there are a few misspelled words here and there and perhaps a comma or two. Otherwise, I think your pacing and characterization are awesome!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: You totally made my day Cabbie! :hug:

I have always felt that Neville got way less credit than he deserves. He led the revolution in Hogwarts, while they lived with the Death Eaters. That's way more courageous than what the trip did. True, they played the biggest part and would have done the same if they were there but Neville did it when all the big shots like the Weasleys were gone. He took innocent kids to their bravest.

I always thought Gran was just pushing him to be his best. She didn't Want to be all soft and spoil him just because his parents are gone. She was an amazing parent!

I got this story beta'd. All the issues were fixed :hug:

Thank you so much for the review :D


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Review #4, by Serena H The Dragon of my Heart

23rd October 2015:
I really enjoyed your story! There was a change in Neville between books 4 and 5 in the series so I like where you chose to set it. I also loved the conversation in the car, the "that's enough for us" line was perfect.
I agree with some of the other reviewers that the diary was a bit too prophetic and there were a few typos but the story reads quite well. Additionally, I like that you let Neville find his strength from his father's words, rather than from what happened to his father.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you liked it :D

I actually wanted to make it a bit like that to show Neville that his father, if he had another chance, wouldn't have had it any other way. I wanted him to know that he is accepted for who he is and that what has been told about him throughout his life doesn't necessarily have to be what he becomes.

A bit too cheesy, I know :D But I wanted that meaning to come off.

Neville and his grandma were two people who never doubted Harry and I wanted that to be shown here :D

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I really hope you'd continue to read my stuff :)


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Review #5, by Musing The Dragon of my Heart

22nd October 2015:
Hi Alarte!

Musing here from the forums. This review is for the BvB review fest.

I haven't read much of Neville so I am really happy I read this lovely one-shot. We always read everything from Harry's point of view in the books so it was nice knowing the world as Neville sees it.

The start is nice. You have portrayed Neville as a very good friend. Also it's good to know that Neville shares a comfortable relationship with his grandmother. I always imagined Neville terrified from his grandmother. I am happy that my views would change now!

I can't imagine Frank to be a seer though, knowing things of the future so aptly. :P But I liked the overall sentiment of Frank believing in his child.

There are a few typos here and there which can be easily fixed.

The story flows easily. There were different scenes and even some flashbacks but it all came out nicely. Also the moment of change for Neville is good and really nicely captured.

Some of the scenes were high on emotion like Neville entering the room of his parents for the first time in his life and Augusta reliving her son's younger years. Good work.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

-Emm ^_^

Author's Response: Hey Emm :D

I know the phone seer thing was a bit overdone, but I wanted Neville to know that had Frank had a choice, he wouldn't have done it any other way.

I got this beta'd, so hopefully there are no errors now.

Thank you so much love. I'm so glad you liked it. I do hope you'd read more of my stories!


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Review #6, by princesslily_36 The Dragon of my Heart

21st October 2015:
Hey this is PrincessLily32 from the forums,

This being the first time I'm reading a Neville fic, as well as an Angst/Dark genre, I must say I'm super impressed and hooked. I generally stick with romance and drama because they make me feel good. But your story, the flow from one event to another is really good.

The journey home has been no different. - Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't this be had?
Here too - "The Dragon has awoken" should be 'had'

I particularly liked Neville's exchange with his grandma. Most of the time we see him intimidated by her and nervous around her. The proclaimation of Voldemort's return showed a side of Neville we all didn't get to see. The calm and pensieve side.

Ooh Neville entering his parents room. Funny I had never seen so much writing potential about Neville till now. You've just opened Pandora's box for me!

Fiddlesticks! Neville's parents knew about the prophesy o.O ??? Wait that seems to make sense! And Harry and the weasleys being friends at that young age seems unlikely to me, as does Frank being a potential seer, but its your story :)

I really like the way you portrayed Neville's feelings after reading his father's diary. His conversation with grandma Longbottom was so natural as well.

Great job overall! Do let me know when the next chapter is up!!

Cheers,
Ysh

Author's Response: I admit I went a bit off canon. I wanted to make this as emotional as possible. In my head, the Longbottoms and the Potters were the only other people who knew about the Prophesy apart from the ones who directly heard it. I wrote on that stance.

I should add an author's not to explain all this, maybe.

Yes I need to polish this up a bit, to make sure there are no errors and stuff.

I'm so glad you liked this, and so glad that I gave you some ideas :D Believe me, sometimes I lack those majorly...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing love. You're amazing!

:hug:


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Review #7, by TreacleTart The Dragon of my Heart

20th October 2015:
Hi there!

Here for our review swap!

I was so excited to see that this story was about Neville. He's one of my favorite characters and I feel like he doesn't get written about enough, so I relish any chance I have to read about him.

I thought this was an interesting time frame that you picked. We don't really get a chance to see how Neville felt about Cedric's death or Voldemort's return, so it's nice that you filled in the blanks. I enjoyed the idea that he isn't terrified like he would've been in first year. He approaches it calmly and rationally.

I also liked the connection to his father. While I did find parts of the journal entry a touch unbelievable, I did like the overall concept and message. Neville is the most important thing in his father's life and that much is very clear. I think Neville's reaction to it was quite believable, so kudos on that.

Now a tiny touch of concrit...The part of the journal entry that I had a hard time believing was how prophetic Frank was about everything. It was too exact and precise. It would be one thing for him to predict Neville being the underdog, but for him to predict exactly what happens to Neville, how he develops, his relationship to Harry Potter, etc. it just feels a bit too heavy handed.

I did notice a few typos in this, but most of them seemed like minor mistakes that are easy to overlook.

All in all, I really liked this look at one of my favorite characters. I hope you'll continue to write more of him in the future!

Good job!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin,

I thought it might be a bit overboard, but I thought I'd try it anyway. I must try to tone it down though. I wanted to give the whole "nearing death" insight into a person's mind. You know how they say how perceptive you get towards the end? I was going for that... But I guess I overdid it.

I'm planning on getting this beta'd. This story is in my head so I hardly spot mistakes. But I guess a good beta would be able to brush this up.

Thank you so much for your honest review. I really like Neville and I actually am planning on continuing to write more about him.

-Jen


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