Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Livewire
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Jolt

23rd May 2016:
I do enjoy a good Dean and Seamus fic! :D So I am excited about reading this one.

This one is so sad, to think about how different they are since the war ended and they're faced with the repurcussions of what they've been through.

They're so broken, and they're still healing, and I'm glad that they have each other to help with that.

I love the way that you describe them together, the way that you describe the burning and the fire that they feel.

This was beautiful!

 Report Review

Review #2, by NPE Jolt

5th February 2016:
Hi,

Continuing of multi-chapter review swap.

So, admittedly alternative "Ships" based on canon characters aren't my sort of thing normally. Though I am happy to give anything you write a go, and even I hadn't have liked it, then I could at least assess it through a lens of whether it would work for people who do.

Now, Dean and Seamus, let's call it "Deamus", is quite an interesting concept that to be fair, isn't ever disproved in the novels. Also I think the idea their relationship, close as friends at Hogwarts, could have catalysed into something else after the affects of war.

So I think that was a really clever plot device.

For me, some of the lines are sort of a little hit and miss for me.

"Our love burns so hot that we could eclipse the sun. Your fingers glide across my body like molten lava and I shiver as they char my flesh. I know your love will scar me, but I crave it regardless."

^ That for me works. It gets the genre, the conventions, it is sort of sweet to read, and feels a little poetic too.

"But I know a furnace burns inside of you. I fear that it will claim you bit by bit. Itís already began to claim me, singing my skin every time we touch"

^ A furnace? I get that it is sort of knowing a parodical, but that felt a little too ripe for, I could see the cornfields. But maybe that's a very subjective thing. I think the first block I quoted works better because it is less "direction" in its prose. It is more metaphorical rather than just saying what they feel.

However, I really like the idea of eyes locking, the laughter and humour going, and the hardening after war.

So, yeah, not my sort of genre, but I can understand why they might like your particular story. Well written as always.

Nick

 Report Review

Review #3, by dreamgazer220 Jolt

27th January 2016:
Hey there! You came over and reviewed one of my stories a while ago, so I figured I'd come check out one of yours :)

This story was incredible. Your language was so powerful and vivid and I really loved how you only focused on a brief moment, but it was full of emotion. I could very easily see how they felt about each other.

I really love the idea of Dean and Seamus falling into each other after the war; you did a really great job of capturing that. One line really stood out to me: "I call your name, hoping that the sound of my voice will pull you back from the ledge you so perilously balance on."

Wow. Just - this whole piece. Wow. Keep up the amazing writing!

~Jill

Author's Response: Hi Jill!

Thank you! That's so kind of you!

I'm thrilled that you picked this one. It's possibly my favorite story so far.

Description is my favorite thing to write, so with this I really indulged that and wrote pretty much only description.

I have a bit of experience with post-war effects/PTSD, so I used a bit of my own knowledge/experience to come up with this.

Thank you so much for your support!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #4, by maraudertimes Jolt

21st January 2016:
Hi hi!

Aw this was amazing, Dean/Seamus is definitely one of my favourite ships! I love how you started this and how a lot of it shows the after effects of the war, especially in how whomever one of them this was was woken up by these nightmares, but that he was glad that the other at least was having a peaceful night.

For me I picture Seamus being the one who woke up, but I really like how it's a bit ambiguous (at least that's how I read it - I might be off because I just missed a tiny detail) because it really could go either way so it's a bit like two stories in one. That's a really neat thing to see - I don't think I ever have read anything like this. I love how you did this because I could read this four times over and not be bored because every other time it happens in a completely different way.

I don't really know what else to say other than this simultaneously broke my heart and made me so happy and my heart burst with happiness. I love how the story is both sad yet full of love and passion and I think you've blended the two seamlessly.

Thanks for the swap!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 Jolt

13th January 2016:
Hi Kaitlin!

I have no words. I do not know how you continuously amaze me with each story I read. This was only 740 words and I feel that the depth you created in that short amount of words was so real and so honest that I just cannot form the words to describe it.

As with your other stories, this one was just as smooth and flowed without hesitation. The descriptions were beautifully and tastefully done. You captured the moment between Dean and Seamus so well that I have goosebumps. I can honestly say that I am totally a Dean/Seamus Shipper now.

Keep up the superb writing! I cannot wait to read more of your stories!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

Yay! This is one of my absolute favorite stories!

I'm so thrilled. I wrote this on the bullet train from Hiroshima to Tokyo after spending the day walking around at the World Peace Museum and seeing the Atomic Dome. All of that war and destruction really moved me and this sort of came from that.

I'm thrilled that you consider yourself a Dean/Seamus shipper now since they are my babies.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #6, by ReeBee Jolt

8th December 2015:
Hi Kaitlin! Here fore our review swap!!

Can I just say I'm about to cry?? Honestly I have no idea what to say I'm speechless and just wow. Like i really just cannot? it was written so beautifully and i could feel that whole electricity feel just coursing through the whole fanfic through your beautiful writing. I'm actually so in awe. This is hands down one of the most beautiful things I've read. The description was beautiful, firstly of themselves and how when he wakes up and theres fear in his eyes but then thats gone. I love the passion written into the writing and just amazing.

And I love the whole context and the effects of PTSD. Like the narrator knows that their relationship is a little outdated and that he's holding on to and loving the memory of his partner more than the person at the moment. They also know that they both need each other and that dependency and vulnerability portrayed is stunning and i think you've explored the whole concept of trying to pull themselves back together perfectly.

I love this story so much i can't even express in words. Honestly so unbelievable. I love the electricity feel I know I'm repeating myself but thats how good it is!!! I seriously want to write like this someday. It was awe-inspiring.

Thanks for the swap!

-Curie xx

Author's Response: Hey Curie!

I'm so happy that you picked this story! It's one of my absolute favorites!

I'm so glad that the electricity and fire themes worked for you. And wow! What an amazing compliment. Thank you so much.

PTSD really is a prevalent theme in this and I sort of wanted to play with the concept that two people could be very damaged, but sort of find some solace in each other.

Thank you again for your kind words. This review seriously made my day!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #7, by marauderfan Jolt

1st December 2015:
For our review swap!

Wowww this is a great story. Your imagery is incredible, and your descriptions so effective - I love all the imagery of fire, and I think it's really fitting as it's such a passionate, fiery story. That stands out even more given their background with fighting the war and how everything else has kind of dulled, and in general they don't feel as alive as they used to, except for when they're with each other.

This just breaks my heart: I wish that I could muster up the courage to obliviate your worst memories, but some twisted moral conviction stays my hand.

and this one really sums up the whole story: There is so much beauty hidden within our dysfunction and Iím intoxicated by it. -- after everything they've been through - fighting a war when they were teenagers (A WAR. when they were TEENAGERS. of course this is going to have such long lasting effects and really put people in a dark place for a while) they have each other, and each knows how the other has suffered and because they're both so broken, they can help put each other back together again. it's really sad but also beautiful in a way. I just love it.

I ♥ this ship so so much. And this was a wonderful story, Kaitlin. Thanks for the swap!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Dojh167 Jolt

15th November 2015:
Hello Kaitlin, I'm here for our review swap!

I've been wanting to read one of your Dean/Seamus pieces for a while, since I know you love that ship so much, and it's awesome to read things that the writers feel very strongly about.

I also hadn't been familiar with this song, so it was a good to listen to it before reading the story. I definitely see what you mean about it seeming fitting to something sweet, but with a closer look it speaks to darker things happening. I think that is very appropriate to this ship, as these two characters fit so well together, but have been through such dark times.

Your prose is truly beautiful in this piece. It flows incredibly well, but also has a jagged harshness to it that is appropriate for these circumstances.

I like that you didn't make it to obvious who the narrator was. It really spoke to the fact that they are both damaged from the war, and depending on the reader's interpretation, it could be either of them. I assumed that the narrator was Seamus, though the part about how his lover had been softer before the war makes me think it could also be the other way around. I think that this ambiguity serves your story well.

I believe that in "Itís already began to claim me" began should be begun

In "the remnants of some nightmare, Fear is quickly replaced" either the comma should be a period or the f should be lowercase

Some of my favorite lines:
"but I know a furnace burns inside of you"
"I wish that I could muster up the courage to obliviate your worst memories, but some twisted moral conviction stays my hand."
"Your fingers glide across my body like molten lava and I shiver as they char my flesh. I know your love will scar me, but I crave it regardless."

I'm really glad I read this! I look forward to reading more Dean/Seamus stories by you, an I'll be working on more FSF reward reviews soon as well.

Sam.

 Report Review

Review #9, by Lostmyheart Jolt

11th November 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

Wow, this story is amazing *_* like... wut. You write so exceptionally well, it's so easy to imagine everything you type. I love how damaged they are and yet still capable of loving each other. It was an intense read but I liked it nevertheless. And now that I think about it, I'm not sure who's who, but I get this idea that it is Dean's thoughts we follow.

I really enjoyed this one-shot! And I love the pairing, always have, and you wrote a very lovely piece about them!

- Avi

Author's Response: Hi Avi,

Thank you so much. I'm glad that you were able to imagine what I was talking about. It might sound morbid, but I really enjoyed trying to write a balance of damage and love.

It's so interesting to see what each person thinks in regards to who is speaking. In my mind, this is Seamus, but really there is no right and wrong at all.

Thanks again for dropping by!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #10, by bigblackdog Jolt

31st October 2015:
wow! Kaitlin!

i'm so impressed because i feel like you've packed so much into this one-shot!

like this line "Nightmares of carbonized bodies and children screaming have once again ripped me from my slumber." you just break my heart right at the beginning because i'm reminded that when they fought this battle they were still children. in one line you've really managed to convey the depth of the trauma they've both experienced.


your prose gives the story a lot of intensity and the fiery imagery throughout makes the story mesmerizing.


and wow! it took me three read-throughs to realize you didn't write either of their names! i think that's an incredible idea! the context clues like the banner let us know who you're writing about, but the anonymity and the second person pov really sucks the reader in. so we get the best of everything! i get to feel as if i'm actually in the story, but i also don't have to wonder who this is about.

also, phew! i can't think of any descriptive words you haven't already used... that scene was electric!

the ending made me feel hopeful for their relationship in the future, even while you held the darker tone throughout. and i think you've definitely made me ship it.

i saw some of the other reviews already pointed out the singeing and begun typos to you. there's just one more thing:

"Maybe underneath all of the death and war and trauma, some of the people we used to be still exist."

some of the people we used to be sounds like they were both previously several people. something like, "some parts of the people we used to be" would be more grammatically correct.

it was a great read!

elise

Author's Response: Hey Elise,

I'm not going to lie. This is possibly one of my favorite pieces, so I'm thrilled that you liked it too.

I love writing description. Sometimes I end up going a bit overboard for just that reason, so I'm always really pleased when it works out alright.

I had a lot of fun playing with the unknown narrator. I definitely wanted people to know it's Dean and Seamus in the story, but to be free to imagine whoever they like narrating.

I did really have to push my limited vocabulary. There was lots of googling words for this.

That's the thing that I love so much about Dean/Seamus. Even though I imagine them having a darker path, I always see hope at the end of it.

Yeah. I'll get the typos fixed one of these days.

Thanks for pointing out that sentence. I'll try tweaking it a bit.

Thanks for such a lovely review!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #11, by Gabriella Hunter Jolt

28th October 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and it's so lovely to finally be reading this. I remember when you posted it on the forums and because I was too busy doing grown up stuff, I didn't have the time to gush over it. Here I am now though!

*Squeals*

Okay, I know that this was angsty and dramatic but I have to squeal continuously over how beautiful this is. I think that you have this wonderful, magical way with words and it hardly matters that there's no dialogue or that the characters aren't mentioned by name. The power that you put into their emotions makes it so irrelevant and I think that focusing on the AFTER of war was such a great thing to put into this piece.

I don't think a lot of people really care about the trauma that a person would have after surviving something like that. What's even more tragic is the pieces of yourself that you lose and how it affects the people who love you the most. This is what I got from this one-shot at first but you quickly soothe that away with SO much tenderness. I almost couldn't handle it! It was written maturely and with a lot of class. If anyone was going to try and write a scene like this, they should check this out first because you did a fantastic job.

I could go on and on and on and on about how much this opened me up but I think you get it. :) I didn't spot any grammar or spelling things either for you to worry about and the POV was easy to follow so you should be happy and congratulate yourself with cupcakes and kittens.

Much love,

Gabbie

 Report Review

Review #12, by Unwritten Curse Jolt

21st October 2015:
KAITLIN I'M CRYING. I've been such a sap lately. Crying at commercials, pictures of cats, you name itÖ But this. This is BEAUTIFUL and therefore I'm a blubbering mess.

I love your fire imagery throughout. It's so fitting. My favorite lines:

"Tiny silver rays of moonlight drip through our window and dance off of your naked body illuminating every one of your hard edges."

"Each nip is met with a soft groan and I know tonight that the furnace will burn white hot."

"Maybe I can harness this energy and jolt you back to life. Maybe I can be your livewire."

I'm sold. I love this pairing. I know I'm not judging this challenge, but you win. I've decided. :P

I justÖ can't. This fic is so poignant and sexy and romantic and dark and ALL THE CONTRADICTORY THINGS YET SOMEHOW YOU MAKE IT WORK. Your writing has improved so much through taking on every challenge. Seriously, you're making me want to do more challenges (which is bad! Bad Kaitlin! Gina doesn't have time to write this much).

Anyway. I'm done. This is beautiful. You're a superstar. Never stop writing.

--Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

Seriously, you have no idea how happy this review made me.

The fire imagery really got stuck in my head and I kept playing with it trying to figure out how to make it work.

I said this in response to another review, but I've never had anyone call one of my stories sexy, so I'm thrilled that that came across here. I really wanted it to be that perfect balance of messed up and attractive, so it's a relief to hear that it worked out okay.

Come do more challenges Gina! They're so much fun and you're such an amazing writer!

Thank you again for your kind words. Seriously, this made my day.

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #13, by cherry_pop94 Jolt

21st October 2015:
Hello Kaitlin!

I'm here for our swap!

This was a really moving story! I've been a fan of Dean/Seamus for a while now, but this has definitely made me dive right into this ship. I'm glad you didn't make this fluffier because I think part of the reason why I love this ship is because they have gone through so much together. I don't just mean the last few years either, right from first year. These two grew up together. They know where the other is broken and they put each other back together.

I'm not sure why, but I definitely pictured Seamus as the narrator here. I guess I've always pictured Dean as more traumatized by the war than Seamus was, but I think that's just because we saw more of Dean in Deathly Hallows than Seamus. Anyway, I really like how you didn't mention who was who. It makes it a more captivating, I think.

I also really have to commend you for the word choice. It painted just this terrifying image in my head. Especially the opening. "carbonized bodies." That had me shivering over here!

One typo though. "singing my skin every time we touch." should be "stinging my skin" I think?

Other than that, this was perfect! You've fit so much tension and romance and love into just 700 words! Teach me your ways Kaitlin!!

Much love,

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hey Stefanie,

You and I agree then. I too think the beauty of Seamus/Dean is that they aren't perfect. They've been separated by war and been damaged in different ways, but they still fit each other so well.

I imagined Seamus as the narrator when I wrote this, but I wanted to sort of leave it open for interpretation. So far, everyone who's guessed has guessed Seamus.

To be truthful, I have no idea where that word choice came from. Originally, I think had "charred bodies", but then I used charred somewhere else and it sounded to repetitive, so I switched it to "carbonized bodies".

It was actually supposed to be "singeing", but my fingers got ahead of my mind momentarily. I'll go back and edit it.

Thanks again for your lovely comments. I always enjoy swapping stories with you.

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #14, by MuggleMaybe Jolt

20th October 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

I saw your status about this story and thought I'd stop by, since your stories are fabulous. :)

This is... I'm just going to be honest, this is pretty sexy. I think what I loved most was that this story is both sexy and sad, and somehow the two moods enhance each other here, rather than weakening each other.

You've captured Dean and Seamus's reliance on each other really well - they need that connection, including the physical part of it, to escape from the memories of war.

His wish to Obliviate the bad memories is haunting and I honestly don't know why I never thought of that. Do people use that spell on themselves when they're desperate? It's a very interesting line of thought. I LOVED that!

"Your eyes lock onto mine and I know that you are here with me tonight."
This line really adds an extra layer of depth because it suggests that sometimes (Seamus) needs to connect with (Dean) like this, and (Dean) isn't able to offer that connection.

"I know your love will scar me, but I crave it regardless." --> I also love this line.

Two minuscule CCs: In the sentence "Itís already began to claim me, singing my skin every time we touch." began should be begun, and singing should be singeing.

Really, this is every bit as excellent as I expected, and it has this... I don't even know the word. Charisma? You set the tone so well with that deceptively simple first line. This piece was totally immersive for me. I felt like I was Right There.

Great job, dear! You're so darn talented. Please never stop writing! :wub:

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee,

This was such a lovely surprise. You really are so kind.

Woohoo! I don't think I've ever had anyone call one of my stories sexy before, so let me just do a happy dance really quick. :D

This is supposed to sort of be a bit dysfunctional, but they do very much rely on each other to get by.

I haven't seen too much about people self-obliviating or obliviating others, but I thought that it seemed natural considering you don't want your loved ones to suffer.

Ohh! I'm so happy you picked up on that line. It's one of my favorite parts.

Ugh. I always have at least one typo. I'll fix it ASAP.

Thank you again for all of the lovely comments. It really made me so happy to read this.

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #15, by Alarte Ascendare Jolt

20th October 2015:
"Our love burns so hot that we could eclipse the sun." I love this quote. It resonates the strength of their relationship and the heat of their passion. The prose is amazing! Well done there.

I love the way you've started the story. It has given you enough advantage to create a definitive flow, which you have excellently done. I can't say I'd have done it the same way, because I woulds not have been able to express such a big and deep story, stretching from the beginning of the way to the end of their lives.

There were no mistakes that I spotted. You grammar, sentence construction and prose were well done. I do have a tiny complaint though. This story doesn't really say who these character are. Even though it's in the author's note, I think it should be reflected in the story. Also, there's no way to decipher which character is which... I still don't know who's Seamus and who's Dean.

But then again that just might be my issue. See what the others say though.

Lovely writing Kaitlin. You're truly talented :D

- Jen (Alarte Ascendare)

Author's Response: Hey Jen,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad that you found the flow to be advantageous to the story.

I did purposefully leave the characters ambiguous. I sort of like that because it allows the reader to imagine who is Seamus and who is Dean. I suppose there's really no wrong way to interpret it.

Thank you again for the lovely review.

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #16, by Felpata Lupin Jolt

15th October 2015:
Hi, dearest!
Review 2 from our swap!

This is a great story, so emotionally strong! There are so many elements and contrasting feelings. There's the trauma of the war and the harsh lust, but at the same time you can feel a sort of peace underneath, and their deep care for each other. Among all the harshness there is still sweetness, and I just loved it.

I'm not really familiar with Seamus/Dean, but I did love your portrayal of them. I'm not exactly sure about who is the "I" and who is the "you". For some reason, I think the narrative voice is Seamus'. Am I right or is it the other way around? (Note: I'll write the rest of the review assuming that I'm right.)

I found it so sweet the beginning, with Seamus just looking at Dean's peaceful sleep, scared of disturb him, wishing he could make him forget all the horrors he's witnessed and experienced during the war.

And I loved how you wrote their burning passion. You have some pretty intense description there, and yet you managed to keep it delicate somehow (reading too explicit sexual scenes makes me a bit uncomfortable, but your writing here didn't disturb me at all).

"Maybe underneath all of the death and war and trauma, some of the people we used to be still exist. Maybe I can harness this energy and jolt you back to life. Maybe I can be your livewire."

That's such a beautiful closure for the story! I love how Seamus can still find some hope for them both, can feel that they are still alive and whole somewhere under their trauma and believes that they can heal with each other's help. And I really hope they will!

Beautiful story, Kaitlin! Wonderful job!
I'll be back for your next review this evening!
Much love and tons of hugs!
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi Chiara,

I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the conflicting emotions. I really wanted to play with a hurricane of feelings.

The POV was meant to be vague because I wanted the reader to be able to imagine it how they see it. In my mind, I sort of imagine Seamus speaking as well, but there's no wrong way to interpret it.

I'm glad that you didn't find their romantic moments too disturbing. Writing physical intimacy can be difficult, especially when you're trying not to be too explicit, so I'm happy to hear that you felt comfortable with what I wrote.

I have to retain hope for Dean/Seamus since they are my babies, so I like to see this as a hopeful note.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #17, by Claire Evergreen Jolt

14th October 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! Here for our swap :)

YAS DEAN AND SEAMUS!

Ok, I just needed to get that out of my system really quick. I've never written anything for these two, but I am so in love with the ship it is ridiculous.

This is such a cool, angsty one-shot. I think you really capture the nature of the relationship on both sides without ever even revealing what both of them are feeling. All the emotions are so plausible and I could really feel the electricity as I read. The point of view really helped define the emotions and immerse the reader into the story, since there are no names and everything is told exclusively through first person. You do such a good job with the strange (in a good way!!) PoV and it just adds so much to the story.

I love how you can't tell which character is which as you go through the story. I did find myself trying to figure it out who was who, but it never took away from the story itself. I honestly think it worked better because I was able to really focus in on the emotions instead of who specifically was feeling them (if that makes any sense?).

Gah, I'm sorry, I haven't reviewed in forever, so this is definitely not as good as your story deserved, but I really really do love this so so much! I can't wait to get to the other stories!

Claire

Author's Response: Hey Claire!

YAS! YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT DEAN AND SEAMUS!

I adore this ship as well.

Eek! This might be the first time anyone has called something I've written cool. I'm excited about that. :D

I'm happy to hear that you could feel the electricity. I wanted this to really play with emotions and I hoped that by leaving who was speaking a bit vague it would allow the reader to imagine it how they liked.

No worries. Your review totally made me smile! Thanks so much!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #18, by Frankie05 Jolt

14th October 2015:
Kaitlin,

Here for one of your six reviews I promised you. (Dobby wins and then the one from my status a while ago).

I really liked this story. I was blushing the whole time, but I enjoyed reading it! One of the things I loved was the point of view and lack of names. We didn't know the names of the characters besides what you let us see in the summary and the author's note.

This was an interest take with some after effects of war and what seemed like ptsd. I like for a moment, they were just themselves and that they could forget the past in the heat of the moment. It was so electric. What I really want is the end of the sadness for your characters. I want a happy ending. I want the electricity to stay. I want them to return to some semblance of normal.

Good luck in the challenge. This was so well written, so we described. In a short amount of space, you made me ship them too.

Frankie

Author's Response: Hi Frankie!

I'm so glad you chose this story. I'm really in love with it right now, so I'm anxious to get some feedback.

I really enjoy writing stories where the characters are unidentified. It sort of allows the reader to imagine it the way they want to.

This was definitely meant to show how PTSD can effect love and relationships a bit. I think it's important to see that even in the midst of their healing, they can still have normal, loving moments.

I want normal for them too. I mean let's face it. Dean/Seamus is my OTP, so I want nothing, but happiness for them. I do think that they're on the mend, but it takes a long time to heal from the things they've been through.

Thank you so much for your kind words! It makes my heart happy to know that I've got you aboard the Dean/Seamus ship now!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login