Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for The Come and Go Room
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Musing Slughorn's Christmas Party

23rd November 2015:
Hello!

Thanks for leaving me a lovely review and I am here to return the favour. (I've been meaning to do this for days, but life just caught on...)

Wow! I liked this chapter so much. I liked the way you started this by describing Slughorn's Christmas Party. You took me to the party itself with the amazing wordplay. The whole chapter flowed really nicely.

You touched upon several things from Hermione's point of view, which fit her personality perfectly well. Hermione running away from McLaggen, sharing her distress with Harry, the tension between her and Ron, Hermione getting irritated at the mention of Quidditch, this was the same Hermione I had read about in the books. Great job!

I liked your descriptions very much. 'Hermione caught a breath of cooking sherry.' The way you included such fine details made the story much more enjoyable.

A bit of CC - I noticed a few trivial typos like 'Hermione weaves her way through party guests' --> should be 'weaved' instead of 'weaves'. Also, you mentioned 'Filch' as 'Filtch' at several points.
Also, I think that Hermione would not trip a house-elf, even for saving herself from Cormac. I also found Snape talking about Pansy Parkinson in that way not like something Snape would do.

I loved this line: 'Moonlight streaked in from the windows, following the path of dust settling onto the frigid stone floor.'
This line cracked me up: 'Lovely, just what Hermione needed a boy who only cared about quidditch and hating all muggleborns.' Haha! So much like Hermione!

I must say I am quite excited to read this alternative approach to HBP. I am excited to know what will Hermione find inside the Room of Requirement. Great work! Keep writing!

P.S. I saw you joined the forums a few days ago. (I just happened to see your post in the new member's thread.) I hope you enjoy your time there. If you have any confusion regarding anything on the forums, you can always PM me. I go by the same name ('Musing') on the forums as well. :D

-Emm ^_^

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for taking the time to review back! I really appreciate it.

I'm glad you liked the descriptions I used; I really tried to focus on that in this chapter to set the scene for what will happen later on. That may be part of the reason why there are a few typos and moments that feel a little off for some characters. I let tunnel vision get the best of me haha. I'll definitely try to keep things like that in mind while writing future chapters.

Again - I'm really glad you liked chapter 1!

I did just join the forums; thanks for the offer. It doesn't seem too confusing, other than knowing where to start :D

-M


 Report Review

Review #2, by heartsnpancakes Slughorn's Christmas Party

13th October 2015:
Sounds interesting! A new take on that part of the half-blood prince. I'm looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you! I look forward to writing it :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login