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Reading Reviews for Self-portrait in Crimson
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 The Colour of Blood

14th November 2015:
Hello! I;m finally here for the October Hufflepuff review exchange. I;m sorry I took so long while disappearing from hpff, and I hope NaNo is going well for you!

I think your opening here is very effective. It strongly establishes your tone of voice, while telling us something unique about Alexis and her sleeping patterns, and by the end of the paragraph jumps right into some action.

Sammy is super adorable. I love his determination to make the cake and his pride in finding a creative way to get to the shelf.

I thought it was weird that nobody was watching him though, especially since it is established that Alexis always sleeps during this time of day. Is Sammy always unsupervised? Based on the mischief we've seen him get into so far, that doesn't seem wise. At first this made me assume that Alexis was a single mother and doesn't have any other options, but it later becomes clear that that's not the case.

I would like to see your exposition incorporated a bit more subtly. For example, instead of telling us about how Hugo's family's fame affected the family in the past, you could show evidence of how it affects them in the present moment.

Ah, she's a vampire slayer! That's cool. Excuse me while I silence my urge to fangirl because Buffy. I would have liked to get hints at her unusual profession earlier. While it certainly explains her strange hours, the part of my brain that was thinking she was a single mother assumed that she was working a low rate service industry job with late nights. Throwing in little references to how her profession is suggested by her surroundings would help peak my curiosity.

I a also curious why they are so poor. I would think that such a dangerous ministry profession would pay relatively well. Does Hugo have a job?

Oh, Alexis and Hugo are exes? That makes things earlier make more sense, though it wasn't evident in the scene between Alexis and Hugo, and even with the reference to the headlines, I wasn't sure if it was Alexis imagining what the rumor mill would say.

Ah, so she's a Longbottom. I was wondering who she was related to since you said she had famous parents.

Hehe, Vampire Liaison Office. I like it.

I like how you lay out what the office does. The fact that in order to not be condemned to death a vampire must surrender their privacy by having a trace placed really sets a backdrop for how they interact with the ministry, and does seem in line with how the Ministry would act. I also find the combination of slaying and bureaucracy fascinating.

PERCY WEASLEY FOR MINISTER OF MAGIC

Hehe, it show's my Buffy influence that I think it's odd to see a guy referred to as a slayer.

It seems strange that you reference vampires looking for a place to rest for the night. Do these vampires not sleep during the day?

The phrase "a recklessness for their own self-preservation" confuses me and seems contradictory.

The scene gets a bit confusing by just referring to the slayer as "him" once the boy gets involved. Calling him "the man" or something could help clarify pronouns.

Twisty ending! =D

This is a really great start. You've set up some interesting characters and dynamics, and you've set up some clear future of conflict between these characters. While I can imagine how things will unfold in the coming chapters, I am also hoping that you will continue to surprise.

I'll be back for more when I can.

Sam.

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Review #2, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Young Blood

13th November 2015:
Jeramiah... There are no words that adequately describe my love for you... and the man upstairs who will love you again... you know, the one about to eat the human. Fun times.

I love your history on vampires so much, with the Beautiful Dead and the reason for the vampire slayers - I assume that's what they became; the first humans who were told of vampire weaknesses: slayers. It's all so cool! Will we ever meet them, the Beautiful Dead? In this story... or any other... *senses a story about the Beautiful Dead and the original slayers... ;)*

Hugo must recognize him. He must. He's Jeremiah's Hugo and they need to be together. * cries*

AND JEREMIAH IS FREAKING KISSING LORCAN!!! *cries harder*

I need to know what Claudine's plan is, to let Hugo live so easily. It sounds like an even quicker defense than the one Lucy gave in Bite Club. It's all so interesting... amazing... making Connor so freaking happy.

I cannot WAIT for the next chapter! :D I promise I'll review it on time.

Connor.

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Review #3, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Blood Spatter

13th November 2015:
The idea that something must be wrong if the house is impeccably clean is something so... weirdly real to me. :P I never do that unless I absolutely have to. And yet, the fact that it was just her sister makes me think that either she's been a vampire slayer for too long or she just doesn't trust Hugo. :P

Harry the Hero! If I could remember how to put in the heart right now, I would, because that and Sammy are just too cute.

And when Lucy says those two dreaded words - It's Hugo - all the blood drains from the face. Alexis' face anyway. I, however, am very excited at the prospect of Vampire!Hugo. Except him leaving Sammy, that thought kinda makes me sad.

VAMPIRE HUGO!!! DAMN IT, CANT REMEMBER THE HEARTS AT SIX TENTY IN THE MORNING.

I love the split chapters, you know of my love for multiple timelines going on at once. Especially historical timelines. :D

So this is just before Valérie is turned? It makes me all the more inquisitive about her; a vampire slayer both before and after she's turned. I imagine there's more to it than that. I can't remember things you told me about her...

I'm so excited right now!

Connor.

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Review #4, by The Basilisk The Colour of Blood

22nd October 2015:
Hiss hiss, darling, you’ve been selected by The Basilisk!

Mmmm that banner is beautiful and so is your summary! I cannot wait to see blood everywhere mwahaha

Wahhh just happened? I think this Valerie woman is trying to be as old as me! Is she a magical creature? I’m excited to read on for more information once you post more of this lovely story. What a creative plot!

You have mastery over the written word, as you build tension and provide just enough background information for any new reader to understand what’s going on and what could happen without spoiling anything for down the line. I knew something about Lucy was fishy, but based on your summary description this goes beyond Lucy and to the OC’s ex. Why did they break up and what will happen now? Lots of twists and intrigue down the line, I can see, what a beautiful creepy thing you have here ;)


Hisses,

The Basilisk

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Review #5, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Colour of Blood

18th October 2015:
ISOBEL! ♥ *Squishes*

I am SO happy I got assigned this story in the review exchange! It's about time I got back to your author's page to read some more of your amazing work, and this chapter certainly did NOT disappoint!

This is SUCH an intriguing first chapter - I'm already itching for more! The summary says that Hugo is a vampire, but he's currently not, so I'm really interested as to how that's going to happen! And it's so mysterious - Lucy's disappearance, her being a vampire, now Hugo being on her trail.. just, WOW.

You've provided a lot of great background information on vampires here, also - it really helps us to be more prepared for what's coming next. And I'm so curious as to how everything is going to affect Alexis and Sammy!

I also really enjoyed the snapshot into Valerie's earlier life - I can't wait to see what led her to where she is today!

Great first chapter! And this is going on my reading list so I can keep up with it as you update! Well done!

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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The Colour of Blood

23rd September 2015:
ISOBEL!!!

I honestly can't remember the last time I was so happy... Hugo and vampires. :wub:

This is so different to the original, but still so awesome and I am so excited to see where you go with this version. Also, I now 100% approve of the title change; before it was, like, 99% because I did like Bite Club, but now everything is different so a new title was a must. And it's a cool title.

Hugo found her! What are the odds of her being near his Muggle grandparents, though. Silly Lucy for not knowing where his cousin's family was... just in case. :P But Yay for drama... and horror... and blood. Because it's freaking vampires, dude. It's what I assume there'll be.

Awww, Sammy. He has a cool name. Just sayin'. And he's so adorable.

I wonder why they broke up... not that I'm complaining... *cough* Hugo/Jeremiah *cough*

I'm so excited for more. The wait is already killing me!

Thank you so much for bringing this back! :hug:

Connor.

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