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Reading Reviews for The Long Road Down
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ravenclaw_princess Pinstripes and Whisky

9th November 2015:
Hello. Here for your requested review

I have to say, you're writing style is quite funny and I found myself chuckling quite a bit at the metaphors you used. Especially this one "sounded pretty similar to a cat being jammed a***-first into a paper shredder." It kind of made me cringe and laugh at the same time. The use of language also really fitted in with Saul's attitude of not really giving a toss about the world. He sure does have an interesting name for his department as well.

I found Saul to be a very real character full of flaws. His mannerisms, his thoughts, his language, all talk of someone who has no goals and no motivation yet moans about the life he has and then drowns his sorrows in alcohol. You can see all the other characters in this story looking down upon him and kind of wondering why they have to deal with this lout.

I have no doubt that this mysterious Mr Gorman placed the note in Saul's pocket. Why though is the big mystery. As is what it said seeing as it then disappeared. An apparently so did a house. It makes me wonder if Saul has unwittingly become a secret keeper. Who better to do it than a drunk man who can't remember anything, but I'm not quite sure if that really makes sense. Which means you have me stumped as to what's going on, which is a good thing.

Bode seems to be the complete opposite of Saul. As the summary implies they start to work together, it will be interesting to see how this relationship develops. I get the impression it's not going to go too well with Saul rubbing the more straight laced Bode up the wrong way. It could be fun to watch.

Grammar and spelling were pretty good and the story flows well. The only minor thing I saw was that he went from his bed to being marched through the atrium of the Ministry without any explanation of how they got there, which made me read the section back a bit to see if I had missed something as I had to suddenly jump locations.

I find this first chapter both funny and engaging, and it also leaves a lot of mystery about what's going on. I also like how the first chapter is so different from what your summary suggests, which means there is quite a lot of story to be had, especially when you consider how Saul is now. I can't imagine him to be part of the unspeakables.

Good job. I'm more than happy to review any further chapters if you'd like, just repost in my thread.

Jacqui

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Review #2, by marauderfan Pinstripes and Whisky

5th November 2015:
Tag!

I must say, the sheer uniqueness of this story caught my eye and I knew I had to pick this one. Not only because I love minor characters, but it's an era that's rarely seen in fanfiction. And it's about Unspeakables. Recipe for a story I will love :p

First we start out with the complete failure that is Saul Croaker. Gah, he's really struggling and could things get worse for him? OF course they do, now he's mixed up in something shady without knowing it. I'm assuming that Gorman put that slip of paper into his pocket, but who is he? What was the paper about? Must find out.

My first thought was that the address vanished because Gorman was the secret keeper for something - you know how the address for 12 Grimmauld Place vanished off the paper as soon as Harry read it - anyway, that was my first impression, but Gorman would have to be a rubbish secret keeper. Or, as the Unspeakables mention, a building actually disappeared... !!! What building? How? Ahh, so much mystery and I love it. You've definitely started this off with an interesting hook that makes me want to read on!

Based on the story summary, which states Croaker and Bode will be working together, I'm really eager to see that happen based on Croaker's opinion of Bode, haha. I feel like they're each starting out with the lowest possible opinion of each other and then they're going to have to work together anyway muahaha.

Well, I really enjoyed this so far! Great start - I hope to see more chapters up soon :)

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