Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.

Reading Reviews for The Family Business
30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by victoria_anne Two: Beginnings and Endings

23rd May 2016:
Okay I'm back!

I love the introduction to this chapter (and the last one) It sort of ties history in with the story and I really like it.

Oh oh it's Hugo!! HI HUGO!

Ooh I'm very interested in Rose, Scorpius and Viv's lives... Guess I'll have to check out that other story!

Well you certainly packed a lot into this chapter - it's good! I'm very interested in finding out how the plot develops! And how Laura goes trying to pull out of The Family Business!

This is such a great original idea - awesome job!

 Report Review

Review #2, by victoria_anne One: Prologue - Disappearing

23rd May 2016:
Hi Lizzie!

Ooh this story sounds so good! Ya summary sucked meh in!

And now this chapter has sucked me in! Already I love Seb and Claire (Sebastian is one of my favourite names and I also have a character with this name ♥) and I love what they do. And of course I have so many questions now! What happened to them?!

I'd better read on!

Author's Response: Bianca!

Aw, thanks! I'm rather proud of the summary, actually. ;)

Sebastian is definitely a great name! It took me a long time to pick a name for him, but when I came across Sebastian, I knew it was perfect!

As for what happened to them... well, you'll just have to see... ;)

Can't wait to hear what you think! Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

 Report Review

Review #3, by marauderfan Four: Committing

20th May 2016:
Oooh, so Moros' plan didn't really go according to plan. And the truth comes out about Moros' wife... so really he just killed an entire civilization on the basis of a lie because his wife didn't love him and found a way out. And he regrets nothing. I have a feeling that the disaster he's created has only just started. He's basically void of any emotion but anger and resentment, and it's a bad combo. What else is he going to do with that box?! It hasn't escaped me that he still has it, and it's powerful. Powerful people in possession of dangerous artifacts = bad news

Wow, Laura has quite the choice ahead of her, and I don't envy her! Having to choose between living her dreams, and saving her family. And if she picks one, she can't have the other. That's rough. I think Hugo summarizing it for her seemed to help her parse out her own situation in her head, which is nice.

So she chose the saving the family route - I only hope she'll be able to get out of the business when she wants. It's nice that Hugo is going along with her, as that will help her with her feelings of instability - at least she'll have the stability of a person she's been with for three years. Maybe that's how Claire and Sebastian had stability in their lives - only through each other, because the locations they lived were never the same. It was more about people than places.

Also, I've begun to realize that what I thought in the first chapter was a reference to curse-breaking, is actually something way more epic and mysterious. They're like tomb raiders or something - I don't know what exactly the Business is, but it's illegal. And that makes me want to know even more about it haha. What exactly is it that they do? and how would Bill Weasley react if he found out about it? :P

Hope to see an update soon! I'm really interested in seeing how things turn out!

 Report Review

Review #4, by marauderfan Three: Arguing

20th May 2016:
WOAH. That first part was INTENSE. That's some fight - Moros is so bitter and at this point it seems he'll stop at nothing to make sure his plan comes to fruition, even if it involves hurting an old friend. I don't know if you've ever watched Avatar: The Last Airbender and its sequel Legend of Korra, but Moros reminds me of one of the villains in Legend of Korra in how he thinks what he's doing is fair and that his action in taking away people's magic, in this case, will bring equality. But wow, pretty extreme as he not only killed his friend, but sank an entire island under the ocean. (I know Arcturus was still breathing, but then the island sank while he was unconscious, sooo..

But if I'm not mistaken, that's the same box! Which is slightly worrying for many reasons. a) it's not functioning how it originally did, which means that I can't guess what happened. Because the first time the box was used, Arcturus was still there. Whereas Claire and Sebastian are just gone. Also b) somewhere, is Egypt sinking into the ocean as the box was just used again? Is it a landmass-sinking box? So many questionsss. But whatever happens, it does seem likely that (provided Claire and Sebastian are still alive) they will not be able to use magic anymore.

Ooh, they are her siblings! I knew it the instant they started all that bickering about the motel guy and poor planning in Lichtenstein :P Laura's saying so only confirmed it. :D Eeep and Hugo's meeting them all at once. I feel like this could have gone better... meeting the family during a big family argument is probably not the best way to do things :P

I appreciate that they're not all totally against her though. Lydia is supportive of her, Edmund doesn't seem to care one way or the other, and Michael seems to just disapprove because it's dangerous for her to stay in one place, not particularly because she's bound to the work. I do really like Edmund as a character btw - nice to see some representation and a character with autism.

They're missing! I feel like they could have told her that earlier in the discussion. Any leads? What do they know? The pacing of this story is really good, btw. You end each chapter on a note where I can't help but want to continue reading! :D

 Report Review

Review #5, by marauderfan Two: Beginnings and Endings

20th May 2016:
Here I am again, multitasking: leaving you some feedback and getting a workout! What an insightful comment in your A/N, now I can convince myself I don't have to go to the gym.

So anyway, eep! The italic story bits are so interesting! I love the history you've created regarding magicians and wizards and I'm really intrigued by that whole side story.

Laura and Hugo are cute together :) I like how Hugo's family adores her and is super welcoming to her. And this chapter, once I realized that it took place just a week or so after the previous one - it had this underlying sense of anxiety to it because I know Laura's parents aren't coming back because they're in trouble, whereas Laura just passes it off as them forgetting about her or something. Aah! I wonder if that's why the people are there at the end - if they have information about her parents.

Actually, I have a hunch that the three people there are her siblings - you said there were three of them, and given the nickname, I'd say they have a high probability of being family... who maybe also missed her graduation. Maybe they know what happened to Claire and Sebastian?

Ugh, Rose is kind of obnoxious asking poor Laura when she's going to marry Hugo :P They're not engaged, nor have they hinted at getting married. I guess Rose isn't one who takes things slowly though, haha.

I'm dying to know what happened in that tomb in Egypt. Loving this story so far!

 Report Review

Review #6, by marauderfan One: Prologue - Disappearing

20th May 2016:
LIZZAYYY. This is for the Hot Seat! Congrats! As soon as I saw the summary for this story I knew I had to read it, stat. So I can tell you by this point that at least your summary is very effective. Okay, now on to the story!

Mysterious intro. Atlantis, I assume?

OMG IS THIS ABOUT CURSE BREAKERS? I LOVE IT EVEN MORE. Seriously, I have always wondered what it is that curse breakers do. Like, do they wander around and zap away curses all day? Or, apparently, sit in old dusty tombs and read decaying scrolls of papyrus. That was great imagery, btw, of Sebastian all curled up in this tiny space because he's too tall. A struggle I can relate to (minus the part about being in an egyptian tomb)

I love Ancient Egyptian history and mythology though so I'm super excited to see how this plays into the story.

Small thing, but I appreciated the kind of swapped gender roles you had with Sebastian and Claire talking about going back for their daughter's graduation. I feel like the role of the worrier/the one who's most devoted to the kids always ends up being the mum in a lot of representations while the dad is really intent about their work, and so I appreciate that you switched that up here.


Author's Response: AAAHHH! Thank you! I was pretty excited when I was put on the Hot Seat! It's definitely made my day multiple times over!

Hehehe, I'm pretty proud of that summary, so I'm glad that it works!! :D

Hmmm... Atlantis is a pretty good guess!!

Curse breakers? Yes! In a way... Curse breakers definitely play a role in this story, although Seb and Claire might not actually *be* curse breakers... :P

But you definitely will be seeing a lot of what curse breakers do in this story! Or, at least my idea of what they do...

Me too! Hopefully I do it all justice and it lives up to the expectation!

Hahaha! I never really thought about it that way... I just always thought of Laura (their daughter) as being a total Daddy's girl! But I'm glad that you like it this way! :D

ARE they trapped in the box?! Well, I dunno... I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out!! Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter!!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!! *hugs*

 Report Review

Review #7, by Cupid Two: Beginnings and Endings

14th February 2016:
Well, hello again! ;) *sprinkles pink glitter*

So, I loved the way you developed this from the first chapter, with a completely different setting, different character - obviously connected, but new - and just everything. It works so well with mysteries - always maintaining the question list. Plus, it gives an entirely different perspective on the characters in the front - and the misconnection between Laura and her parents is great, with them having wanted to be there when she left Hogwarts (UK schools don't graduate, just as an fyi, so Hogwarts wouldn't either ;)), and her not expecting them to have even tried to be there. It's a really great way to create their relationships and their characters and so on. Plus, I'm always a fan of complicated family relationships :P

Your characters are so lovely - I love how excited Laura is about going to the Burrow, and how much she loves having the big, friendly family - it's something people with smaller families often want, I think, especially if their own families are a little broken. I like as well how she keeps her cards close to her chest, and her issues with her family - it makes a lot of sense, and it just adds to her as a character.

Your writing in this is so so good, too - you get the balance of description and dialogue pretty much spot on every time, which is a pretty impressive thing to do, and you have such a lovely style :)

Hope you're enjoying your Valentine's Day - whatever you're doing for it! ;)

All the love,

Cupid xx

 Report Review

Review #8, by Cupid One: Prologue - Disappearing

14th February 2016:
It's me again! (Hello, from another side... ahem, sorry) :) Gift Numero Deux :D

Okay, so I don't usually read all-OC, or mostly-OC stories, but this sounded so good - mystery/action stories are kinda rare on here, but so good. And, really, I love them all so much - they're strangely addictive! :)

I love the way you've started it off - with the strange box and introducing us to the two new characters. It's so good - you don't tell us why they're there, or even really where they are, but it doesn't matter, because of how you get it up with the box freezing them and then them vanishing. It kinda makes the other questions not matter, because it's replaced by the 'what on earth is in that box, and what did it do to Seb and Claire?!'

I loved all the Egyptian touches, with the writing and the papyrus scroll, and the traces of magic around everything. It's so good, and all those little details really make the room they're in come alive, you know? Plus, I'm a huge history nerd, so I always love things like that ;)

You work the mystery genre so well. This is such a great start for a mystery story, with all the answered questions, all the wonderings it provokes about who they are, how they connect to things, what's happened to them, what will happen after this... and your writing in this is so much of a part of that. You don't give anything away, but don't lose anything from the main body of the story either - the description and dialogue is as good as always :)

Much love,

Cupid xx

Author's Response: Hello Cupid! (And that song is so catchy, isn't it? It's stuck in my head now just because I read that line!)

For some reason I really love writing mostly Next-Gen/OC stories... The best part of writing HP fanfiction for me is putting characters I create into JKR's world, because her world is pretty awesome.

Hehehehe. Probably my favorite part of introducing new characters is to introduce them and then have something bad happen to them. It actually does a better job of getting the reader invested in them emotionally than just introducing the characters outright.

Oh gosh, you have NO idea how much research went into getting all of those little details just right. But it was totally worth it because of how well this chapter turned out!

Thank you! Mystery is definitely the genre that I worry about writing the most, because as much as I love leaving little hints and teasing readers, I always worry that I give away too much or not enough, so it really means a lot to know that you like the way I've written it so far!

THANK YOU so much for reading and reviewing!! This review made my day!


 Report Review

Review #9, by No hate, just help One: Prologue - Disappearing

7th February 2016:
Just an fyi, your French is incorrect. You have the wrong conjugation there. Calmez-vous (formal or plural) or calme-toi (informal singular), but never calmez-toi.

Author's Response: Oh! Thank you! I had calmez-vous before, but I someone point out to me that it was calme-toi. Apparently I missed the z. :P

Thank you so much for correcting me! I don't know French as well as I know Italian. :)

 Report Review

Review #10, by nott theodore Four: Committing

6th February 2016:
Hi Lizzie! Review three of six (this is more for the purposes of me keeping track than anything else, I hope you don't mind :P)

Ooh, I feel really stupid now because I totally didn't pick up on the connection between the box that Moros made and Pandora's Box! But I'm guessing from reading the second half of this chapter that that's what he actually made and now I'm really intrigued what's happened - have Claire and Seb actually gone to Atlantis or something? I have so many questions about this story and what's happening with it and that's only a good thing. You're building up the mystery so well here!

Back to Moros, though - it was so good that we got to find out what had actually happened between him and Arcturus for him to then go on and want to take revenge and destroy Atlantis! I love the way that you've built up a really intricate story behind that too, and have the two unfolding alongside each other. Moros just seems like such an awful character, especially if he was such a bad husband that his wife came up with this plot with her brother to make sure she was able to get away from him. I really liked the fact that he thought that he'd succeeded and got away with what he'd done, only to find out that he had failed and that there was no way that he could destroy magic completely. I love the idea of wizards and witches moving from Atlantis before it's ruined to then create magical communities in other places. Although I'm really worried what's going to happen next, especially since he seems so bent on revenge and that's already proven deadly to so many people...

Returning to Laura's story was really interesting, too - after the last chapter, I was really curious what she was going to do about her parents being missing. I loved the way that you wrote the dialogue in this chapter, because you really managed to portray the relationships between the siblings well. Even though they're arguing about what to do and have different opinions, you can still tell that they love each other underneath it all. Part of me felt a bit sorry for Hugo having to sit there through it all and watch and listen to his girlfriend arguing with her family the first time he meets them, but I love his character too.

I don't think you put too much emphasis on this yet, but I really like the way that you're dropping in lots of hints and clues about the way that their family work and what they do. They don't want to give too much away in front of Hugo - not yet, at least - but there's enough there to give the reader a good idea of the scale of what they're involved in as a family and it's really intriguing.

I love the way that you're writing the relationship between Hugo and Laura! Hugo is so sweet - it's a lot to give up your summer and chances to improve your future career and stuff without really knowing what you're getting into, just because you want to be there with your girlfriend. They're still so young, but they have been together a long time and I do get the impression that they know each other really well - at least as people - even if Laura's not been open (understandably) about her family. I'm looking forward to seeing the two of them doing this together and although I can imagine it straining their relationship in some ways, I really hope it works out.

This was a great chapter, and I'm really intrigued about this story and looking forward to your next update! ♥

Sian :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by nott theodore Three: Arguing

6th February 2016:
Hi again, Lizzie! This is the second of (now) six reviews given to you as prizes ♥

I loved this chapter, too! I'm really happy that the different stories seem to be continuing parallel to each other in each chapter, because I find it so interesting, and I'm sure that you're including lots of details in those first sections that are relevant to what's happening in the present day with Laura and her family.

The story about Moros inventing the box and then being the one to bring about the destruction of Atlantis was so interesting! I love the idea of there being a war between wizards and magicians and that causing the ruin of Atlantis in the end, although of course the real reason that it ended would be buried with the land, I'd imagine, unless Moros boasted of it.

The dialogue between Moros and Arcturus was really well written, too - I could sense Arcturus's desperation here and the way that he knew what was coming but didn't know how to stop it. I'm really intrigued by what exactly happened between the two of them, and I'd love to find out more about that in future chapters! It seemed like Moros's actions were definitely founded on the emotions that we know Petunia had towards Lily, which is really understandable - although there's something else there too, and I'm really curious about it and how it developed into the sort of determination that could end not only a war but a civilisation.

The shift to Laura's perspective and the modern day was really well done again. And I was right! They are her siblings, although the descriptions and dynamics between them were far more nuanced than I'd anticipated, which I really enjoyed. I did feel a bit sorry for Hugo, though - meeting all three of your girlfriend's siblings at once for the first time, in a situation like this one, is not the best meeting he'll ever have :P

The descriptions of her siblings were really interesting. Lydia seems a lot nicer than I anticipated (I guess part of me just imagined that they'd all be trying to force Laura into something she doesn't want to do, but like I said, the relationships are more nuanced and interesting than that) and I like the way that she's been cast as the sort of mother figure to the other three because their parents haven't been there as much.

I love that you've included Edmund and the fact that Laura suspects he's autistic! I don't think I've ever seen an autistic character in fanfiction before but there are so many people who are on the autism spectrum and deal with different issues each day because of it, and it's great to see that sort of representation in stories. I love the fact that Edmund and the others have learnt to sign as well, because he prefers communicating that way.

It was really brave of Laura to tell her siblings that she didn't want to be part of their 'family business' any more. Standing up to the people closest to you is so difficult sometimes and it took a lot of courage for her to be able to do that, and I can completely understand her frustration in the way that she doesn't think her family really care about her and didn't make an effort to be at her graduation. That would really hurt. I feel sorry for Laura believing that because her parents really did want to get home to see her.

The ending was quite dramatic, though, and I'm so curious to see what happens next! I wonder whether Laura will decide to join her siblings trying to find out what happened to their parents and get drawn into the family business anyway, and then what that might do for her and Hugo's relationship.

I know this is something that's going to happen throughout the story, but I really love all the snippets of different languages you're including here, too. It makes me happy :D One thing I was curious about though was why Laura and her brothers and sisters go to Hogwarts if her parents don't live in Britain and don't come from there? I'm sure it's going to be explained later, but I'm just intrigued :P

Sian :)

 Report Review

Review #12, by nott theodore Two: Beginnings and Endings

6th February 2016:
Hi Lizzie! I'm not sure if you've seen yet, but Liz wanted to donate her Treasure Hunt reviews to you, so this is the first of them :)

It's so good to get back to this story - there are so many exciting things about it and I can already tell that you've put a lot of effort in to weave lots of details and plots together, which makes me really intrigued about what's going to happen!

I'm not sure if the opening sections that you've had in this chapter and the last are going to become a regular feature, but I really like them so far, and it'd be great to see more of them. I think it really helps to add to the mysterious element of the story and grows it, in a way - this is much more than just the story of one character, because we're finding out about how magic and wizards came into being and it's so fascinating to get all of that knowledge. I love the idea of magic being all around and in the air, and then the way that that section still links into who I assume is going to be the story's protagonist, Laura.

The difference between the prologue and those mysterious sections and then the main body of this chapter was really striking, and I think you handled it very well. It felt like we were thrown right into Laura's world so we could become fully immersed in it - and yet there are still so many questions, because we know that she's hiding something from Hugo, in spite of being with him for three years. All of that makes this really intriguing.

I loved Laura's character so far - she's likeable, and she's got a distinct voice, but she's also got a lot that she's hiding, not just from Hugo but from the reader too. I'm so intrigued to know more about her family and from the end of this chapter I get the feeling that we're going to soon.

I really like her relationship with Hugo, too, and the fact that she's so comfortable with his family. One thing I think you did really well here was that, in spite of Laura going to Hugo's for the holidays, you didn't introduce all of the different Weasleys as once - even though a lot of these characters have appeared in your other stories, that could be quite overwhelming for the reader. Instead you started with quite a small cast to kind of ease us in and that worked really well. Plus this is just reminding me I need time to go and read/review your other stories!

The conversation between Rose and Laura made me laugh, too - it's so nice that they get on really well. And Vivian is so cute ♥ I'm really interested in the plans that Hugo and Laura have for the summer and moving in together, too, although I'm a bit worried that from the end of this chapter they're not actually going to be able to see them through...

The end of this chapter is really interesting! It's making me reassess my reading of the prologue - am I right now in thinking that Seb and Claire are Laura's parents, and therefore whatever they were doing wasn't exactly legal? I think the three people at the end of this chapter are Laura's siblings, and as much as she wants to avoid them and the family 'holidays' she has, I wonder if they'll break the news about their parents going missing or something and then she'll get sucked back into it all...

This was a great chapter, and I'm reading on to the next now :D

Sian :)

 Report Review

Review #13, by dreamgazer220 Four: Committing

27th January 2016:

So, a lot of information packed into one chapter, but I think you handled it really well. The more the siblings talk to each other, the more invested I become in their dynamic. I love that they still bicker, and that you add in little details of when Laura was six to make it seem more real.

And good on Hugo for still being there, for quietly watching everything unfold and not judge. Though he is a Weasley, so I guess that shouldn't be too much of a surprise :) I'm glad that he's willing to go with her on this journey and that she'll help her siblings find her parents- I also bet that Hugo is very curious about her family and is hoping to learn more about them on this adventure. I am too!

I also don't think I've mentioned this before, but I really like how you start each chapter with a quote that's relevant to what's happening. It really drew me in :)

Well done!

 Report Review

Review #14, by dreamgazer220 Three: Arguing

23rd January 2016:
Finally back to read another chapter!

Yep, things are definitely picking up a bit! I'm very curious about Moros and the box, but I'm wondering if it connects back to the same box with Seb and Claire in chapter 1. And I love that you brought Atlantis into this! So cool!

As far as Laura and her siblings go - they seem like a very intense family, but I'm glad she's learning to stand up for herself. And I love your style - I love the bits of description of Laura's different siblings, but that you mostly let the dialogue fly through the chapter, if that makes sense. I can't wait to see how Hugo reacts to everything when/if he and Laura get a moment alone :)

Another well done chapter!!

 Report Review

Review #15, by alicia and anne One: Prologue - Disappearing

12th January 2016:
Lizzie I am so excited about this! It's been on my list for absolutely ages since I saw you mentioning it in the Looney Lounge and ahhh! so much excitement! :D


I am shipping Seb and Claire right now, and I don't know why, they're only looking at artifacts haha.

Those artifacts have curses and I am so excited and eager to find out why they're protected! Although I'm very curious as to why they found something after two days but those others haven't been able to find anything.




I hope they get saved and we see them again. :(

Fabulous work hun! Just like your fabulous self!!! :D

Seriously... if Seb and Claire are hurt I will cry! so many tears!

Author's Response: TAMMI!!

Your reviews always make me smile, you know that? And this one is definitely no exception!

Uh, if you mean *Atlantis*, then YES! It certainly has a role at the beginning of this story, and has a lot to do with the beginning of magic!

Seb and Claire *are* pretty adorable, aren't they?

Clearly, Seb and Claire are better than all of those other 'breakers, since they managed to find the artifacts first... Well, that and they have a secret skill of sorts that gives them an advantage...

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm evil, aren't I? I got you all excited about these two adorable people, and then they just disappear! I take far too much delight in messing with my readers like that. :P

You might see them again... you might not... You'll just have to find out when I actually write and post that part! ;)

Thank you SO much for leaving this wonderful review, Tammi! You're the best!!


 Report Review

Review #16, by dreamgazer220 Two: Beginnings and Endings

12th January 2016:
I am so intrigued by this! I want to know more about Laura's family, and I loved the way you started the chapter with another almost fairy-tale like set up. Also, confession time: this is my first reading of a next generation, but I'm loving it so far. Can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the great work!

 Report Review

Review #17, by nott theodore One: Prologue - Disappearing

8th January 2016:
Hi Lizzie! I'm here for Team Gold in the Red vs. Gold Review Battle! Ah, I'm so excited to finally get the chance to read this story!

The opening paragraphs of this chapter have me completely hooked on this story already. I absolutely love the idea that magic originated in Atlantis! It's kind of part of my head canon now but I've never really had a story to go with it, so I'm super excited to read more of this and find out how you're going to work the legend of Atlantis - and all of the other legends you're using here - into it. Also, if you're interested in the idea of Atlantis being the sort of foundation of magic, you should totally read Stephen Lawhead's series The Pendragon Cycle which works Atlantis and the Arthurian legends together and is awesome :D

Then from the really intriguing, ambiguous opening, you throw us into something completely different. There aren't any characters that we're already familiar with in the main section here but you've written them so well that I already feel concerned for Seb and Claire and I'm worried about what's going to happen to them. That's really such a talent, you know - these don't even seem to be canon characters, or related to canon characters, and I care about them so much already.

The descriptions here were so great, too - I could really picture the objects that Seb and Claire found and there was this really cool, magical and mystical atmosphere around everything that was happening, which I'm sure is what you intended :)

Seb and Claire were just so cute together - they were so sweet and loving and I think as readers that really made us warm to them. What's going to happen to them? They seem like pretty experienced cursebreakers (that's what they're doing here, isn't it?) and so the object must really be powerful and different to what they usually encounter for them to have been taken unawares by it. And what's going to happen to their daughter?

Just a tiny correction on the French - since Seb and Claire are together, she'd definitely use 'tu' with him, rather than 'vous', so it would be calme-toi instead of calmez-vous.

I'm so, so intrigued about what's going to happen next in this story! My current theories are that it's going to be about a family of cursebreakers - maybe Bill and his kids? And I'm really excited to get the chance to finally read this and read more soon - one thing I'm certain of is that there's no way this is going to sink! ♥

Sian :)

Author's Response: SIAN!!

Yes, it is Atlantis! Good job! Only a few people have guessed that correctly in this chapter!

I'm SO SO glad that you like my idea about the origins of magic! I know it's definitely a more original interpretation of magical history, but I've had a lot of fun coming up with it! The legend of Atlantis has always been a favorite of mine, so I was so excited when I managed to work it into this story! I can promise that there will be a lot of other legends that will be part of this as well... although I'll need to brush up on my Arthurian legends a little bit later on...

I actually haven't read The Pendragon Cycle, but it sounds really interesting! I'll have to look it up. It's interesting that it combines both Atlantis and Arthurian Legends, because I've really never seen that before... other than what I've written, obviously. What a coincidence!

Oh yeah, each chapter will throw you from history to modern day, and while most of the characters will be OCs, I do hope you'll quickly come to love them like Seb and Claire! Very few of the characters in this story will be or are related to canon characters, so don't expect to see a lot of familiar faces after the first four chapters! :D

Oh gosh, you have NO idea how much research I did just to describe the inside of the tomb... but it's totally worth it because you like it!!

Seb and Claire are pretty cute, aren't they? :P They'll definitely come up again, although their fate won't be revealed until MUCH later in the story.

They are curse breakers... but not really. That'll get explained later as well. But yes, the box is EXTREMELY powerful, and Laura is going to have to figure out what it is if she wants to figure out where her parents have gone. ;)

Ah! Thank you so much for that correction! I went ahead and fixed it, and I might need to poke you about it in the future when I need help with translations. There will be some in every chapter!

Nice theories! I can't confirm one way or another, but you're definitely in the right direction!

GAH! THANK YOU! I'm SO SO SO glad that you're excited about this story! And thank you for leaving this fantastic review!

Keep being amazing, Sian!!

 Report Review

Review #18, by Unwritten Curse One: Prologue - Disappearing

6th January 2016:
Hi hun! I'm here to leave you your prize review for placing in The Muggle Challenge! I've heard about this story--maybe you posted about it on the forum somewhere--and it sounded interesting and I've been meaning to read it. So really this prize review is just an excuse to start reading this story. I plan to come back.

What a great first chapter! First chapters are so hard especially when you're introducing new characters but somehow you manage to set up the plot, intrigue us with mystery, make us fall in love with these two adorable humans, and leave us wanting more ALL IN ONE CHAPTER and that, my dear, is a huge accomplishment.

How did you come up with this idea?!

I'm not kidding, though, I'm already worried about Seb and Claire and I just met them. Did they end up in that magical city? Are they in danger?

This feels really well researched, too. I can tell you're comfortable with all the terms you use and with the world you're building and that allows me to relax and enjoy the story. I feel like I'm in capable hands. It also makes your characters more believable and more lovable. If you know you stuff it appears that they know their stuff and they come to life on the page. Cool.

Hopefully I'll be back soon! I'd love to read more.


Author's Response: Gina!

Yay! So glad you could stop by!

Yeah, I *may* have been posting a bit about this story a lot recently... I'd be sorry, but if it means that I get super awesome reviews like this one, then I'm not. :P

Aaahh! THANK YOU! I really love first chapters - both writing and reading them - because there's so much potential there! Which is probably why I write an awful lot of first chapters and never get very far after that...

But I'm really glad that you like Seb and Claire! As for where they went... well, you'll have to find out once I actually write and post that bit. ;)

I actually got the inspiration for this story from the banner I found in the UFG section at TDA. Between the banner and my obsession with Supernatural, I started thinking about a story that could mirror SPN in a way, but still work within the HP world... which is how I got to writing about a family of (illegal) curse-breakers. (Whoops! Spoiler!)

Oh yeah, lots of research was put into this story, and I'm sure I'll have to do a lot more... but it's worth it if it makes my readers more excited about this story! It really means a lot to me that you like all of those little details, because I really love including all of those details! :D

Thank you so much for your wonderful review, Gina! I hope to see you soon!!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Crescent Moon  Four: Committing

6th January 2016:
Loved this chapter.
I'm loving Hugo. But I've got this feeling of dread that somewhere down the line something bad's going to happen to him as he just seems too perfect and it's got me really worried. But other than that I really can't wait to see what's going to happen next. Especially as the adventure's about to begin. Brilliant writing.

 Report Review

Review #20, by Crescent Moon  Three: Arguing

3rd January 2016:
I'm loving this so far and I can't wait to see where you take it.
All the characters seem really interesting and I love the fact that you've started with Laura and Hugo already together, a really nice change. And I can't wait to see how the family dynamic continues - I'm loving Edmund, he seems brilliant.
I can't wait to read what happens next. Amazing writing.

 Report Review

Review #21, by dreamgazer220 One: Prologue - Disappearing

25th December 2015:
Hey there!

So this prologue really intrigued me. The narrative was great, and I loved that you waited until the end to reveal the relationship/connection between Seb and Claire. I also really enjoyed your details about the runes and the box, and the translations added a nice touch :)

The very beginning was also great - it was what drew me in initially, and it read as if it were a myth/almost fairytale.

Well done! I can't wait to read what happens next :)

Author's Response: Jill!!

Why thank you!! I'm so glad that you liked this! This story has been in the works for ages and I've done ALL sorts of research to try and make this story as detailed as possible, so I'm glad that it all paid off!!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Jill! You're amazing!

 Report Review

Review #22, by wethegrounders Three: Arguing

22nd December 2015:
I don't usually write reviews, but I'm already hooked on your story.I think you have a very interesting storyline here, and I can't wait to see how it will play out.The idea of the box is really unique, like this entire story, I'm really intruiged about the box.As for Laura and her siblings, I think they have a nice dynamic.It's just really good so far,and I can't wait to read more :D

 Report Review

Review #23, by The Red Nosed Reindeer One: Prologue - Disappearing

17th December 2015:
"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donnar and Blitzen..."

Hello. Ehm... this is really embarrassing. I'm Rudolph, one of Santa's reindeers. I got lost on our trial ride. I was suppose to lead the sleigh, but I got a little distracted and we accidentally crashed and hit a tree. I blacked out for a second, and when I woke up everyone was gone. So now I need your help to find them, cause I have no clue where to look. You haven't seen Santa or any of the other reindeers around have you? I guess I'll just have to stay here until I come up with a better idea.

But you know this story is good. I don't read an awful lot, cause I'm a reindeer you know, but this was so exciting. I really want to know what happened to them, and I worry for their daughter. She must be really scared. I don't have any family, cause we reindeers don't do stuff like that, but having helped Santa for a couple of years, I've seen a lot of humans, and I know and have seen that family is really important for your kind. So she must be really worried about them.

This a really intriguing idea you know. I love mysteries... when I'm not in one myself like I am now you know. This seems like a really good mystery. Maybe I'll come back here again soon if I don't find Santa or the other reindeers, because I really want to know what happened to this couple.

*jingle bells are heard in the background*

That's them! It must be them! I guess I must be off then. Maybe I'll see you later.

If not I hope you have a very merry Christmas and happy new year! I'll make sure Santa leave you an extra special gift this year since you've been so helpful. Thank you, Lizzie!

- The Red Nosed Reindeer

Author's Response: Well hello there Rudolph!!

Sorry to hear that you got lost! Although I am kinda glad that it meant you got to read my story... :)

Why thank you! I'm glad that you like this story! I can say that you'll find out what exactly happened to Seb and Claire, and as for Laura... well, maybe she isn't as scared as you'd think. :P

I love mysteries too! Although this story is really my first attempt at one, so hopefully it works out well!

Ah! I'm glad that you found them! Good luck delivering presents, and have a Merry Christmas! And thank you for leaving such a wonderful review!

 Report Review

Review #24, by Frankie05 One: Prologue - Disappearing

8th November 2015:

I'm so sorry this has taken so long! I've written this out about three times and my computer/phone kept dying and losing my review. AHHH.

Okay onto your review :)

I like the premise of this story. It is very intriguing and gave me the chills. I like it. Claire and Seb are an interesting couple. You do a fantastic job describing them. I'm so interested to see where the story goes, with where those two went, and their backpack I bet is a clue. I wonder if anyone we know will be in this story (i didn't read the summary).

But yest to your question! This does have the air of mystery and adventure. I haven't seen any action yet because it is the prologue but I am expecting more :)

Great job Lizzie, great job with the deep magic and the dark magic, great job with making me nervous. IT was wonderfully written. Lots of hugs, again so sorry for being so late on this .

Author's Response: Frankie!

Don't worry! I think I've taken longer to respond to review anyway! :D

Yay! I'm so glad you liked this! I was really hoping that this would create the air of mystery without being too frustrating or bizarre, so hopefully I'm on the right path!

As for anyone you know? Well, there's a few next-gen characters here and there, but it's mostly OCs to be honest. :D Since the characters will be jumping all over the world, it's a bit hard to use canon characters that way. ;)

Thanks so much for your wonderful review Frankie!

 Report Review

Review #25, by moonbaby11 One: Prologue - Disappearing

5th November 2015:
Hello! I am finally getting around to reviewing the entries in the Up for Grabs Challenge, so here I am! I have to admit, I've been wanting to read this story for a while as I was drawn in by what you've been posting about it, but I've had to hold off because it was written for this challenge. That being said, this was certainly worth the wait!

There's something so mysterious and vague about this chapter, and I love it! I know it's a prologue so it's meant to be short, but I like the way that it leaves a lot up to the reader's imagination. I have no idea where this story is going, really, and I enjoy that. It makes me want to keep reading which, unfortunately, I cannot do as the next chapter has yet to be posted.

Seb and Claire seemed like such interesting characters and it's sad to see them gone. I'm assuming Laura, their daughter, is going to be our main character? It certainly seems that way, and I'm intrigued to see if she's anything like her parents. This is an action/adventure so I'm going to assume so, but you've certainly left a lot up in the air that will draw readers in.

Your banner was a great choice. It's almost haunting and I like that. It gives off the feeling of a supernatural type vibe, something dark and mysterious, which seems to be the way this story is heading. I think it was a good pick and I like that it was an inspiration, rather than an afterthought!

I can't wait to see what you do with this project! I'm already very intrigued, and I hope to return at some point. Thank you for entering my challenge and giving me the opportunity to read such a great piece! :)

Author's Response: Hello!!

Ah! Thank you so much for hosting the Up for Grabs Challenge! I had been looking at the banner for this story for a long time, and your challenge is what gave me the motivation to start writing this story!!

Hehehe, there's a LOT of mystery to look forward to in this story, that's for sure. I kind of like keeping people guessing from chapter to chapter. :P

Ah, but *are* you really sure that Seb and Claire are gone?

Yes, Laura will be the main character, that's for sure. As to whether or not she's like her parents... well, I'll say that she's more like them than she wants to be.

Thank you! The banner really was the ENTIRE inspiration for this story. The title combined with the mood of the banner got me thinking about Supernatural (the TV show), and then I was thinking about how cool it would be to write a story that was sort of inspired by SPN within the HP world... and voila! This story was born!

Thank you so much for your challenge and your wonderful review!!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>