Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.

Reading Reviews for Crowded
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ScorpiusRose17 Crowded

18th November 2015:
Hi there!

I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing my wonderful list of Challenge entries!

I really like your take on the proverb because it is something I think that everyone can, in one way or another, relate to. This was well written and I enjoyed that you explored outside of the norm/realm of what we always see or read. That and you used the proverb in a way I didn't expect at all which is always something I enjoy!

Good Luck in the challenge and thank you so much for participating! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

Thanks for the review and for hosting the great challenge!

I am glad that I surprised you in the way I used the proverb. When I first got assigned it, I assumed the obvious approach would be to do a love triangle type story, but I didn't want to settle for the obvious answer!

I also like that you find this story very relate-able for all people on some level. It can be easy for readers to dismiss the experiences of people with certain disorders as having nothing relevant to them, but I am glad that you thought I wrote this story in an accessible way.

Thanks again,

 Report Review

Review #2, by The Basilisk Crowded

9th October 2015:

This was an intriguing little one-shot! With all the voices going on, I'm really not quite sure what to make of it. It seems like Victoire has multiple voices in her head, and Teddy is one of them. It sounds like he's the one she speaks to the most, but the others don't trust him?

It's very confusing. I wonder what made Victoire like this in the first place? And was Teddy ever really real? Did something happen to Teddy that caused her to crack? It's all very curious.

I think it would be scary though, having multiple thoughts in your head and not knowing which ones you can trust, which ones want to help and which ones want to cause you harm. I feel like that's part of what could be going on here...

Is she crazy because she can hear voices or do the voices make her crazy? I don't know. But it was a great read!

-The Basilisk

Author's Response: Greetings my lovely snakey friend,

This story is meant to be disorienting and confusing to an extent. Victoire hears voices to an extent that it makes her question what is real in the world around her, including Teddy.

What you say about not knowing who to trust is absolutely true here.

I am glad that you enjoyed this, as confusing as it was


 Report Review

Review #3, by Misty_Rey Crowded

27th September 2015:
That was disorienting in the best way possible.

This story was deceptively simple but really boiling with depth beneath the surface. There was real flow to this, nothing felt random, awkward or out of place. There's a connective tissue between Victoire, Teddy and those voices. Like she said, three's a crowd and those voices felt like real characters in their own right. An especially unique touch was using regular, bold and italics to convey the many distinctive voices in this story. It really saves on words and just plainly more powerfully effective. It begs a few questions 'Was this real?' or 'Was it all in Victoire's head?'. You didn't give solid answers and the ambiguity serves this story really well. To tackle mental illness without trivialising or dramatising it is a fine line to walk. It's a heavy topic that I think you did very well in. My guess is this is schizophrenia.

Victoire asking Teddy to change into her was a stroke of genius, albeit heart-wrenching.

I have to applaud you for being experimental. It truly paid off. HPFF could use more unique and daring stories like this.


Author's Response: Hey Misty,

I am glad you like this story! Like you said, it's quite experimental, so I was really nervous about whether it would work or make any sense at all.

Based on your feedback, it did both, which is really great to hear.

I like that you thought the ambiguity was fitting here. Naturally, as the writer, I know what was real and what was not, but Victoire does not necessarily, so it makes sense for the reader to share her disorientation.

Thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #4, by Gabriella Hunter Crowded

21st September 2015:

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and pardon me for being late! Real life has been pretty awful lately and I've been going through quite a lot so I haven't had the chance to review. :(

I'm really curious about this story! I really want to know how you came up with it, especially when it's something that I don't think I've seen on the archives before. Mental illness isn't very common in stories and I certainly have never seen this being used as a trait for Victoire. That makes this all the more unique though because we always get so many stories that have her being perfect and put together. I like this version of her more though, she's struggling to take control of herself and what her life is. I think that thing that I liked the most was that you had her recognizing that there was more than just a few voices in her head, it would have been interesting to know more about her background but I think that this sets up a really great novel or short story if you had wanted to continue it. I actually really liked the concept and style that you chose for this piece so I'm not worried about this not coming across well or anything like that. It's a breath of fresh air and I'd be really excited to know more about Victoire, her illness and her relationship with Teddy--is he real or just a part of her mind? That is an interesting question that is going to spin around in my head for a while. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hey Gabbie,

Thank you very much for the review - no worries at all about the delay.

I haven't traditionally been very interested in Victoire because, as you've said, she's normally portrayed as just kind of perfect. For this story I got assigned the proverb "Two's company, but three's a crowd." Because of my outspoken support of polyamory, I felt that to write any kind of triad or threesome romance would be predictable for me, so I made myself consider the phrase a bit deeper and came up with this.

I did not conceive this as a longer story, and the format and style of this story only really works as a short piece. It it was a really interesting to write though and I may consider using this Victoire as a secondary character in the future.

I'm lad I left you with so many questions =)

Thanks again,


 Report Review

Review #5, by alicia and anne Crowded

17th September 2015:
Oh poor Victoire! With the voices in her head.

That's a lot of voices at once, are they all in her head? You've done a really amazing job at showing her 'crazy' and how she's struggling with the voices in her head, and at such a small amount of words as well! That is an amazing feat!

Awww I like that he transforms to her face so that she can see herself on the outside. It must be so overwhelming being her :(

Oh those voices are not nice, and it's so clear to see her struggles with them.

This was amazing! I really hope that she gets better and that Teddy will continue being there to help her through this. I feel so badly for her.

You done such a brilliant job with just 500 words, and I loved this!

Author's Response: Hello, lovely!

Thank you so much for once again in including me in your spreading of the review love - it's very appreciated.

If I am reading your review right, it looks like you were unsure if all of the voices were in her head at first, but as the story went on you deduced that Teddy was really there?

I am glad that you liked this one! I was really nervous to post it, not knowing if people would understand it at all!

And I know what you mean - it is impressive how long it feels when it's only 500 words.

Thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login