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Reading Reviews for In Eternity
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp In Eternity

31st October 2015:
Omg Erin. Wow. Just Wow. As always, you leave me speechless with your writing!

This was just so, so well-written. I'm in awe. First off, hats off for attempting to write Albus! I've always thought him such a difficult character to write, yet you got him so well. And you captured his feelings for Gellert, and his complex relationship with Gellert, with perfection.

The way you wove this piece with the strings of their meetings, their closeness, their falling out, and Albus' emotions, was just brilliant. I loved how you kept everything canon and yet brought it out to another level with such grace and beauty. You really enhanced their relationship and showed it for what I believe it truly was, and the whole comparison with the Death And Life thing, it was just mind-blowing.

I'm aware I'm rambling a lot and probably not being very cohesive in this review, but really, my mind is a pile of goo after reading this 'cause it's so brilliantly well-written, at least for me! I totally worship you as a writer! Such amazingness.

For me, apart from the amazing characterisation and captivating concept, what was really the strength and highlight of this story was the writing style and descriptions. Loved the second person use - it was so fitting with the theme - and your choice of vocabulary and the manner in which you put your sentences together was perfection. The flow was so smooth, it almost had a poetic feel to it, and the emotions were so palpable. In such few words, so much was expressed, and for that, kudos!

Two bits really stood out to me:

"Eternity had passed, or at least, made us believe it had passed, until we found one another." W-O-W.

"And as we stood, you almost a head taller by then, you who found your purpose to life, and I who was merely prolonging death, our shadows mingled, our souls connected - we would never say it, for who could bear voice such a grounded thought - but there we were as one, an enigma in our existence." -- *standing ovation* This was beautiful.

Really, I don't know what else to say. I loved reading this so much. It made for a great read and I wish it was more than a one-shot so I could never stop reading such beauty! Great, great job!


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Review #2, by Dojh167 In Eternity

6th September 2015:
FSF Award Review #2

First off, I have not read In The South. Ive read Haroun and the Sea of Stories, which though a very different genre, definitely gives me an appreciation of Rushdie's writing prowess. I skimmed In The South online just now, and I can definitely see how you saw the connection to Albus and Gellert for that story.

LOVE this line: "The bond of Death, of Life, of wanting to live, of wanting to die, of not knowing why the other wanted to live or wanted to die, and so we continued. Until you fell."

I really like that, when Albus and Gellert meet, you focus on the things that are the same about them - height, build, speech, thoughts. As their differences tear them apart, this is an incredibly powerful beginning.

I love that you highlighted that Albus and Gellert both had an interest in the Deathly Hallows before meeting each other. It really made it feel like they were meant to meet.

I find this passage very interesting: "you who found your purpose to life, and I who was merely prolonging death" It makes Gellert's approach seem more noble than Albus' which is a very interesting perspective. Though, did you mean "live" instead of "life?"

I also find it interesting that you made the start of their fight that divided the seem so small and routine. And then Albus' summary of Gellert's detached way of seeing it makes him seem almost as detached about it himself.

I liked the imagery of Albus crumbling and dying when Gellert leaves, as it creates a powerful parallel with the description of Gellert falling at the beginning of the story.

More favorite lines: "a void that stretched its arms waiting to know who to claim." "The bond of Death and of Life, reduced to merely one, one that I will embrace with open arms, and hopefully find you in its depths."

I have to admit, I was quite confused by the perspective from the beginning here. Based on the opening description of the other falling and dying, I assumed that had to be referring to Albus' death falling from the Astronomy tower, as he is the one who died first. However, this contradicted later references to Gellert, so I spent the first half of the story trying to figure out who the narrator really was. I think a more definite indication in the opening paragraph would really help the reader be able to focus more fully on your beautiful language and characterizations here.

Very well done!


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Review #3, by carry on with your knitting In Eternity

6th September 2015:
Hello! :)

I'm here from the forums for our review swap! :)

Wow, this as such a beautiful price of writing to read! It was so brilliantly well written and just flowed effortlessly! I haven't read any Rushdie, but I'm guessing you've adopted the style for this? It works amazingly well'! And almost create a dream like atmosphere :) it as very cathartic as well, as if albus was just letting everything go and had been holding in a breath and that was his release, it was just lovely! I gathered from the beginning that it was Albus speaking, however I was led to question at points whether it might have been Gellert, but I thought that was actually a really interesting outcome, because you mention them as being 'as one' so I thought inreally really worked! :)

I absolutely loved reading this! It was amazingly well written and a pleasure, brilliant work, keep it up! I hope we can swap again some time! :)

Katie :)

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Review #4, by SunshineDaisies In Eternity

4th September 2015:

I really liked the style of this. It had a very ethereal feeling that worked really well for it. It was dark and poetic, and while there wasn't a lot of imagery, it still very much conjured images in my head. It felt very swirly to me, and while I'm not sure that actually makes sense, I think it really suited the themes and content. One very small CC in this area, the term "old lady" doesn't really go with the flow of the rest of the piece. It sort of jarred me.

The characterization is a bit more difficult for me to comment on, because it wasn't immediately evident to me. After a bit of thought, it became a lot clearer, and I think your characterization is spot on. For example, I wouldn't have thought of Dumbledore as a young man just waiting to die, but after a bit of thought, it makes perfect sense. When he met Grindelwald, he was stuck in Godric's Hallow with his family when he wanted to be doing so much more. Of course he seemed as if he was waiting to die. Or maybe just waiting for his life to start?

You're making me think with these themes of yours.

Anyway, if you wanted to make that part clearer, you could just add a bit of context, but I think that making people think is a really great achievement in writing. I feel smarter for reading this, actually.)

I think your characterization of Grindelwald is on point as well, and I loved the way you described their relationship. I think you painted a really gorgeous picture of the relationship between two incredibly powerful men, and you highlighted how relationships like that can be brilliant or destructive. And quite often it's both.

Overall I think this is a really brilliant story! I haven't read anything by Rushdie, but I am definitely going to check him out :)

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Review #5, by merlins beard In Eternity

3rd September 2015:
So... I'm kind of speechless right now. I think I really do need to go read something of Salman Rushdie's work.

I guess I need to thank you - for the perfection in this oneshot. It really makes me realize where I want to be at some point.

Your descriptions... seriously, they're the best I have seen in fan fiction so far. I'm still a little speechless, I have no idea what to say. I litterally have no constcrit.

I don't even like Albus/Gellert stories, but this one is so different from anything else I have read about them... it feels so familiar, so right. It flows so easily, feels smooth as silk on skin. There are lots of feels as well, but they are mostly below the surface, in Albus' tone and in the words he uses, nothing big and right there jumping at you... I love how subtle the love flows through all of this.

I have one more thing to thank you for. This oneshot makes it so easy for me to nomimate for the dobbies. I hope i can find a couple of categories to nom it for, because it deserves them all.

Sorry for the short review, I promise I'll make up for it on the new chapters of turbulence.


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