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Reading Reviews for Contra
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jayna Contra

4th October 2015:
Hi! Iím here with your review for the Childhood Challenge. Thank you so much for taking the time to enter it, I hope you enjoyed it and that it pushed you out of your writing comfort zone.

This story was a very interesting concept. I adored how you used what we know about Peter as an adult, sixth and seventh year and changed it a bit to make it fit an 11 year old. That bit about his mother would kill him was great. I think it really showcased how even when he was younger he was really just the same person. I also liked that little bit of humor in the beginning where the hat was talking about how he couldnít use Divination.

Although I really liked many aspects of this piece, one thing I thought was kind of unnecessary was the part about him being related to Slytherin. It kind of came out of nowhere, and although I guess thatís personal choice, it didnít really go along with the rest of the piece. I felt like the rest of it was a lot deeper than the Slytherin thing. Another thing that you could perhaps improve on is flow. To me it felt like it didnít flow very well and was overall just a bit rocky. There was some jumps in the conversation that felt forced rather than what would happen if the conversation was to actually play out.

In addition, I really enjoyed how you personified the sorting hat and gave it a personality of itís own, as the whole story is essentially a conversation between the hat and Peter. Again, thank you so much for entering my challenge and the one-shot overall was wonderful.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
I liked the challenge since I normally deal with characters that are in their late teens-early twenties, so eleven-year-old Peter was interesting to write. The Sorting Hat is a character and not an object in the Harry Potter series, so I don't find the Sorting Hat a difficult character to write.
I will admit I struggle with flow sometimes. I am working on it, though.


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