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8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart -1.

15th January 2017:
Hey Plums,

I happened across this story from the recommendation thread and I knew instantly that I had to read it.

Wow. This was spectacularly good. It was dark and definitely tough to read at times, but you did a great job of not overdoing it on the gruesome description. You gave enough to make my skin crawl, but not so much that I had to stop reading it. That's a hard line to walk and you did it excellently.

I love the way you characterized Hannah too. You make her so tough, loyal, and brave. She really exemplifies the best of Hufflepuff here and I love how she refused not to answer with Dumbledore's Army when she's being tortured. Brilliant characterization.

I also thought there was a sweetness to Neville and Hannah's relationship that balanced really nicely with all of the horror surrounding them. You can really see how she cares for him and how much he cares for her too. Even if it's solely in a platonic sense at this point, you can see he potential for their relationship to evolve down the road. It all just fits in so nicely with cannon.

I also thought the hallucination about her mother was a nice touch. We see some moments of vulnerability from her and it gives us some insight into her background. I also liked that Neville went along with it because he knew she needed the comfort and that he probably did love her too. Again, whether in a platonic or romantic sense, it's still a wonderful moment.

Really brilliant writing. This is definitely my favorite piece of yours to date.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!

I'm so glad you liked this one shot, especially because I'm 99% sure it was my first dip into a character that I'm not all too familiar with. Hannah was such a mystery to me at this point and I was really anxious to do her right so at the time, publishing this one shot made me such a nervous wreck!

It was also the first time I wrote a Hufflepuff (now it seems like all I do is write them 😜) so I spent a lot of time on trying to emphasise those qualities of Hannah's. A lot of people assume that anyone who was part of the resistance was a Gryffindor because they MUST have been brave, but I wanted to show how those actions aren't necessarily always about bravery. It's about being loyal to the cause and your own, even when the odds are against you. I think that so many people assume Hufflepuffs are a soft bunch when they can be the toughest of them all (and stubborn haha). So I really wanted Hannah to exemplify all of that.

This was also the first time I went anywhere NEAR Neville's character in a fic (apparently, it was a whole load of firsts) so their relationship was something I really wanted to nail. I'm glad it seems I did because you interpreted their current relationship perfectly! There's a real tenderness there against the horror of the war, one that has almost been born *because* of the war, that the two are hesitant to acknowledge but also treasure. They see each other perfectly - Neville recognising how much Hannah's mum's death affected her and how she needed that brief second of oblivion, Hannah admiring the man who Neville has become and realised how essential he was to everything. I was actually pleasantly surprised by how much I warmed up to them.

Ahh, this *was* a dark fic, wasn't it? I'm fairly sure I was binging on dark fics at this moment, though at the same time I was hesitant to go too far with it. I'm glad I managed to toe the line!

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and enjoying this fic. Much love 💕💕

Plums x


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Review #2, by Musing -1.

24th December 2015:
Hey Plums!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I hope you are enjoying your holidays. I am here for the QTR Holiday Fun!

Wow, This was such a GREAT story! These are the missing moments from the books and I like such stories a lot. I really really liked your descriptions. The story was so gripping, right from the start. The torture scene felt so real that it made me wince. It reminded me again how cruel the Carrows were.

I adored the way you connected Hannah's reactions to her being a Hufflepuff. I liked how you built up Hannah's motivation to fight in the war here- participating in the DA first just for learning and how all of it turned to rage and the will to seek revenge after her mother's death. The way Hannah's feelings for Neville grow from friendship to more is quite believable. I liked that you gave them a little history as friends first.

Oh, and I love title of the story as well. It nicely captures the mood of the story.

I felt that you didn't have to answer those questions at the end. Everything was pretty clear to me. :) You did an awesome job with this story!

-Emm

Author's Response: Hey,

Merry Christmas and thank you for leaving me a review. I am so glad that you enjoyed reading this, it means a lot :)

Yeah, the Hufflepuff thing was quite important to me because I wanted to show how it was JUST Gryffindors that fought back and how actions can be interpreted in different ways. To a Gryffindor, refusing to giving in could be perceived as brave, but to Hannah, it was loyalty.

Yeah, I think I'm just going to scrap the questions. Everyone has said it's unnecessary so clearly, it needs to go.

Plums xo


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Review #3, by Rinso -1.

12th December 2015:
I enjoyed this story a lot, for many different reasons.

First off, it's exactly the type of stuff I like to read - mature and with just the right amount of darkness. Hannah was written in a very believable way and I found myself caring about her... considering I don't really remember her well from the books, you deserve kudos.

I also like how you presented life at Hogwarts during the reign of the Death Eaters as very bleak and soul-crushing... which is exactly how it should be given the circumstances, but I feel that it hasn't been fully explored in canon. But, hey, that's what fanfiction is for!
In that regard, I was impressed with the Carrows... I always thought of them as this sort of a bumbling duo that's not really dangerous to the main characters... but the way you portrayed them in this story, the way she was so cruel - I love that. The lowly Death Eaters might not be a real threat for the main characters but I can so, so easily picture what you describe happening daily during the 7th year.

I have a bit of a soft spot for Neville and how he grows up to become a fine young man, and I like the way you've shown that through Hannah's eyes.

One last thing, I personally found the mini Q&A to be pointless because those things felt clear enough to me from the story itself, but I guess it never hurts to be on the safe side :)

In short, I loved this story. Thank you for writing it.

Author's Response: Hey,

I'm really happy that you enjoyed this! It made my day to see that :)

Yeah, I don't really remember Hannah much from the books and had to research her a little to get myself into the right mindset. When I saw that her mother had died during sixth year, I realised that I knew exactly how I wanted to depict her.

Yeah, I totally get what you mean about the Carrows being quite dumb and bumbling. They did seem that way from what we saw, didn't they? But I really think that having them in positions of power would've made that so much more dangerous for the students that were, well, at their mercy. They were a symbol of the fact that Voldemort had now taken over Hogwarts and I wanted that to come through.

Neville is honestly a sweetheart. I think we can all agree on that. :)

Yeah, I uploaded the Q&A mostly because I was panicking as I uploaded it like: am I too ambiguous? Will anyone understand it? Is this one shot too big for me? HAVE I COMPLETELY FALLEN FLAT?! And so I added that to calm my nerves, but I think I'll edit it out when I make my revisions since it seems to unnecessary :)

Thank you for the lovely review! (And for the kudos ^_^ )

Plums xo


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Review #4, by FireOpalQueen -1.

4th December 2015:
Hello, Plums, and Happy Holidays!

You gave me such a nice review for Teddys First Letter From Hogwarts, and now Ive decided to return the favour and give you a little review as part of the QTR Holiday Fun!

And what better story to review about one of my absolute OTP, Hannah/Neville! Hannah is probably among my top three favourite HP characters, and you definitely do her justice here. I love her Hufflepuff-ness and that you let it be a strength, not a weakness. Yes, she cries out in pain, but she doesnt break down and betray her friends.

I love the line "She'd learnt far more than she thought she would from Harry Potter, had cast her spells almost flawlessly after a good bit of work and had diligently attended to the rest of her Prefect duties as if she wasn't part of an underground and illegal society." Theres that Hufflepuff hard work, and I love the part about being both the perfect Prefect and part of something so illicit! : P

My only real concern is that the story is a little heavy on the exposition at times. The flashback to fifth and sixth years slows the story down a bit with its references to Dumbledore dying and the Trio being away. The reference to Hannahs mother dying almost disappears in all the exposition, which is sad seeing as she becomes so important later. I think this story would improve if you focused only on the super important things like, you could change So she returned to Hogwarts to finish her schooling in her seventh year. Dumbledore had died. Snape was Headmaster. Everything was upside down, into something like When she returned for her seventh year, everything was upside down. Or something like that. (Also, in this section you move back and forth between past perfect and past tense a bit, maybe look into that a little too? Its not a big deal, but use of tense is always something to watch in ones writing trust me, I know.)

(Oh, and heres a super, super minor concern, sorry if Im just being petty, but the order of the courses in the line after the quick use of an Avada Kedavra and a few Cruciatus Curses bothers me a little. I think itd work better as after the use of a few Cruciatus Curses and a quick Avada Kedavra. That both follows the actual chronology better and puts the biggest emotional punch at the end of the sentence)

Im a sucker for little worldbuilding lines like for everyone knew that excessive use of this charm would quickly ruin the robes, and I love the quick but full portrait you sketch of Hannahs mother in just a few sentences.

(Typo alert: hum all the while should be humming all the while. Im the one thats supposed to a reckless idiot should be Im the one thats supposed to BE a reckless idiot.)

(Oh, and if you want to make it clearer when Hannah starts hallucinating you could maybe add the word now to the sentence It was almost like she was there.?)

The line the DA Headquarters (the seemingly permanent state of the Room of Requirement for the foreseeable future) made me smile, which was a bit of a feat in such a heavy tale. : ) And its so sweet how Hannah is still concerned about sleep talking in front of her crush even after all thats happened. They truly are still just teenagers, even though theyre also seasoned warriors (and what a tragedy that is!). And I adore how Hannah still sees the little first year Neville once was in him, when everybody else sees this cool leader type. It bodes well for their future relationship that she knows him so well. : )

All in all this was a very interesting take on one of my favourite characters. I really liked it a lot! It was interesting to see this darker side of Hannah Ive only written her later in life, when shes put that darkness mostly behind her, but I always know that its there, and this was a great peak at what it might have been like.

/Kapa

Author's Response: Hello!

Sorry that it took so long for me to respond. I didn't really have enough time to properly do so and I really wanted to give a long response instead of a quick "thank you".

It's funny because I'd never really thought about Hannah/Neville until I received the prompt about Hannah for the challenge. It took writing this for me to appreciate what they must've gone through in their days at Hogwarts/the war.

Yeah, I took extra care to let it shine through that she was a Hufflepuff. I wanted to show that she was brave, but it wasn't necessarily a Gryffindor trait. Loyalty can be a form of bravery, can't it? That's what I did here. And I'm glad you liked the line about fifth year. I liked juxtaposing the sweet, innocent Prefect with the girl that was part of an underground society, though not for the reasons that, say, Harry taught it. For Hannah, the DA was more about working hard to get her hands-on knowledge one way or the other. Later, it finally becomes about the resistance for her.

Hm. I guess I am heavy on the exposition. I do see what you mean there, but it's a style of writing that I'm so used to that I wouldn't know where to tackle it, though I appreciate your suggestions! :) I haven't read over the one shot in a while so I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but I'm pretty sure that I mentioned Dumbledore's death and the Trio being away to show what impact it had on Hannah's life, someone who is little more than a background character during the books. I'll read over it soon and try to edit it so that the importance of Hannah's mother's death seems clearer, though I still want it to be clear that - even though it wasn't like this for Hannah - the death was yet another in a string of murders in this year. But I do understand what you mean about giving priority to the most important facts and not going on with the detail. :)

Ugh. I didn't even realise that I slipped out of the tenses. I'm so used to writing in first person present that tackling the past tense is a challenge for me, especially when referring to past events in past tense, if you understand what I mean? That'll be another thing I'll look at when I get the chance :)

You know what, maybe I should've asked you to be a beta for the one shot! :P That suggestion about the chronology of the Avada Kedavra and the Cruciatus Curses is a great insight, one that I wouldn't have ever thought of. I'm just going to make a note of all your suggestions, really. :P

You're right. Hannah and Neville are just teenagers and even though they've grown up much faster than they should've, I still wanted to slip in some of the cuter aspects of their interactions in. And I loved writing Neville way she saw him: not as the leader of the resistance, but a sweet, caring boy that was forced to grow up.

Thank you for the review and all of your wonderful suggestions! I really appreciate it all :) Happy holidays!

Plums

xo


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Review #5, by The Basilisk -1.

8th October 2015:
Hola! The Basilisk here to bestow you with a review for this lovely one-shot!

I adore your Hannah and her bravery and loyalty and her determination to stand up for what was right. I feel like I felt her pain with every whip and every curse, but she bore it til the end as gracefully as possible. I'm so glad Neville and the others were able to save her from Carrow before she went any further.

It's so sad what Hannah must have gone through when she lost her mother. It's only sensible that she'd want revenge. For her mother and for everyone who was hurt or killed by the Death Eaters. I really enjoyed the bit where she was delusional and speaking to her mother, only to be actually speaking to Neville. I thought it was so sweet that he replied back and took care of her. I think it came off pretty clear that the feelings Hannah felt for Neville may be reciprocated, but it makes sense not to get too wrapped up in your feelings when you're focused on winning a war. We know in canon Hannah survives and I'd love to see a one-shot where the war is over and her and Neville can finally tell each other how they feel without the worry of losing one another.

I thought it was so sweet how Neville took care of her and told her she couldn't help with their special tasks for a while so that she could get better. And I loved how Hannah supported Neville throughout his years at Hogwarts taking care of him when he was at his lowest. And now he's the strong person taking care of her when she's at hers. And even though her thoughts about dying were a bit dark, I'm glad the story ended much happier than it began.

Great one-shot!

-The Basilisk

Author's Response: Hey,

Aah, Basilisk! I wondered when I'd be seeing you around again. I did miss your wonderful reviews :)

Truth be told, I never really considered Hannah until I was given the prompt, but I can safely say that I am rather fond of her now. As readers, we never really consider anyone beyond the main scope of characters, never really consider the multiple facets of their personality and what their experiences are. It's an honour to do it as a writer really.

The punishment scene was the one I worked hardest on. As the opening scene and the most intense, I really wanted to bring across the sheer pain she felt. It's nice to know that it worked. And believe you me, I'm glad they managed to knock out Carrow as well.

I felt that Hannah's relationship with her mother was EXTREMELY important. There's no way that you can lose such an important figure in your life and not be affected by it, especially since Hannah wasn't really involved in the war prior to this.

Neville is such a sweetheart. I loved writing him here, though it was a bit of a challenge! I wanted to show the 'old' awkward Neville as well as the 'new' leader he was along with the Neville that Hannah's familiar with hence his gentleness and protective manner.

Hm. I haven't actually considered writing a sequel to this. I will now consider.

Thank you for stopping by and leaving a wonderful review! I hope no roosters come your way. You're nothing but a big sweetheart.

Love,

Plums xo


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Review #6, by wolfgirl17 -1.

11th September 2015:
Hello!

Wolfgirl here, finally, to check out your entry for my Dark Turn challenge and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was admittedly more of a dark beginning and lighter end, but it was nonetheless a compelling read.

I found myself really relating to Hannah in this and I was tearing up when I read the part about Hannah missing her Mum so much. And since I'm sitting at work reading this, that's a dead giveaway for my lack of emotional restraint and your awesome ability to effect your readers.

This was an especially tough prompt and what you've done with it was really compelling and such an intriguing read. I find myself wanting to read more about this version of Hannah and Neville you've created. I really liked the way you portrayed Hannah so wonderfully and the way she sees Neville as being so much more than people think he is. I'm a big softie for Neville so I like when other characters are too.

Thanks so much for entering my challenge. You did have one little typo in there where you'd written "more harder" but beyond that, this fic was flawless. Absolutely fantastic read. I really enjoyed it and I'm so pleased I got the chance to read it. Good luck with the challenge, I will be posting the results just as soon as I get all the entries read and reviewed.

Keep up the brilliant work.

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey,

Haha, I know that it said Dark TURN, but somehow this was what I ended up churning out when I put pen to paper (or...fingers to keypad?). I felt that the little torture scene was better suited to be at the opening and hope that decision doesn't stack against me :P It was a great challenge either way and I enjoyed writing this as much as I hoped you enjoyed reading it.

Aah, I'm so happy that you felt sad about how she grieved for her mother. Not in a sadistic way or anything, but I really wanted to bring her love for her across. After all, it is her mum. Considering that, I'm sure your emotional restraint is perfectly fine :)

I love Neville too. I've never really explored his character much, but - he's just so - perfect.

"More harder"? Oops. Well, that's embarrassing, especially considering that I'm a big stickler for things like that. I'm gonna have to get on that once the queue opens back up.

Thanks so much for the challenge and the review! I'm glad you enjoyed BHBT :)

Plums xo


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Review #7, by carry on with your knitting -1.

5th September 2015:
Hello! :)
I'm finally here for the review swap! Sorry it's late!

I love Neville! He is my favourite golden trio era character and I'm not ashamed to admit that I may be slightly in love with a fictional character :')

The beginning of the story was tense and really pulled me in straight away which was great! The descriptions you used were so raw and genuinely terrifying'! Poor Hannah!

I noticed that you used a whip as a weapon of choice for carrow; some might critics a this and say that she would never use it because it's muggle and she would only use magic, however I totally disagree, I actually love that you chose a whip to be the weapon as I think it represents how ignorant and true hypocritical the death eaters are! And fore that reflects any bigoted person , even in the real world!

The way Hannah refers to Neville at every opportunity is adorable and really shows how much she cares and I love that Neville went along with her hallucination to comfort her! I also though Neville is so incredibly brave for save her wbem he probably knew the cruciartus curse was probably being used in her it shows how strong he is!

I did notice a few area that could do with being broken up with commas and some commas that would have been better as colons or semi colons, but other then that's not criticisms at all, I thought it was great!

Thank you for swapping with me :)

Katie :)

Author's Response: Hey,

Poor Hannah, indeed. I really wanted to draw people in with the opening which is why it was so intense at the beginning. I'm glad it worked. I understand why people would disagree with the use of a whip, but it just seemed to fit well enough for me.

I never thought much about Neville/Hannah, but I enjoyed exploring them in this semi-romance. He's just such a sweetheart.

Colons and semi-colons are my worst nightmare and I have never been able to quite get the hang of them, unfortunately.

Thank you for the review swap!

Plums xo


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Review #8, by manno_malfoy -1.

3rd September 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our review swap. First of all, I'd like to tell you that I didn't really need the Q&A. Although it did help reassure me that I got the right idea, I did manage to infer those things you've explained from the story itself. I think that this is my very first Neville/Hannah, and I was thrilled to see that it is. I've been trying to branch out, and this was a good place to start with Hannah and Neville. Especially because of how it portrays Neville whom I really do love.

It's rather smart that you've started out with the truly brutal torture scene which, in my opinion, is written pretty well, then moved onto giving us a bit of background on everything going on around Hannah. That made the story grip me and get me to sympathise with Hannah, and see what will happen next.

I suppose it was slightly mean that you've stopped at a crucial point and kept me on my toes as I read through what had been going on in Hannah's life because I just wanted to see what's going to happen to her.

I was going to comment on how you skimmed over her mother's death in the first part, and then was very glad to see that you decided to give it an entire section on it's own, and to focus on it as what was driving Hannah to do things with Dumbledore's Army. I loved that you described her mum with such detail, because it just made me sympathise with Hannah even more.

Neville! He's just so considerate and amazing! I didn't find it odd at all that he flinched when she told him Alecto had used the Cruciatus on her, because I don't think it's easy to develop immunity towards that sort of thing. Especially with someone like Neville who practically lost his parents to torture. And it makes a lot more sense when we realise that they are close friends and that he might (or might not) harbour some feelings for her.

It was heartbreaking that she didn't tell him about how she feels. It just shows how damaged and scarred they all were already. And it's such a mature decision! And it makes me sad because at seventeen, they should be carefree and frank and falling madly in love.

The only thing that I wasn't too sure about was the focus on houses. Because I think at that point, everyone was fighting for survival and everyone had to be brave to get through it. I'd imagine even Gryffindors would crumble under torture (as we'd seen between Hermione and Bellatrix), but that's just what I personally felt and it's a tiny minute thing. That said, I thought that Hannah considered Neville an honorary Hufflepuff such an adorable detail. I must say, it feels slightly odd to use the word 'adorable' in a review on this story which is kind of sad.

I thought that this was a great, interesting story with a strong female character, and I did enjoy it a lot. Keep up the great writing! :D

-Manno

Author's Response: Hey,

I wasn't sure about whether to include the Q&A or not, but I was so uncertain about the one shot that I just had to do it or else I'd go insane. I'm really glad it's not actually necessary.

I was purposefully vague with a few things such as Hannah's mother's death because, as you said, I wanted to explore that even further and thought it deserved its own section. I know that it was rather evil of me to leave the fic at such a stage, but I had to. It fit well with her mindset at the time. It was rather heart-breaking, but right now, she's just consumed by the war.

I love Neville! He's such a sweetheart and I loved writing him. I was just a bit worried about his reaction to the Cruciatus only because he becomes, well, hardened by the war since he's the last DA leader left in Hogwarts by the time the battle rolls around.

The reason I mentioned the houses at all is because I just wanted to show that Hufflepuffs can be heroes too. Bravery is a Gryffindor trait and I guess I just wanted to show the different way that people view things. People would call her brave while Hannah simply sees herself as loyal.

Thank you for the review swap! :)

Plums xo


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