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Reading Reviews for The Decision
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Challenge Cheerleader Chapter 1

4th March 2016:
ARGH!! Stupid, coward, selfish, moron Peter Pettigrew!!!

Okay. I had to get that out of my system!

Most marauder fics overlook Peter simply because they don't like him, but I have always felt that he wasn't always a traitor (like a lot of people feel). I've always loved reading fics about why he betrayed Lily and James, how that came about - and your version of it has by far been the most realistic.

I like how you have focussed on fear being the main motive. It just is that simple. You have made him so real by not making him a cold-hearted death eater but someone plagued by fear and regret ... especially when he was thinking about Marlene's death in the beginning.

Ohh, and where you mentioned that he was feeling ignored by the other Marauders - this was totally my headcanon! I loved that you included that snippet as well.

I especially loved that you showed him conflicted - that making the decision to betray them wasn't a one off choice but something which he considered even getting them out of. Even moments before his betrayal he thinks about Lily. That is just so heartbreaking. I almost feel sorry for Peter. Almost.

He should have died, died rather than betrayed them (to quote Sirius) but you showed that that wasn't who Peter was. He was, in the end, out for himself... and it couldn't have been that easy for a coward like him either.

Wonderful job there Kaitlin. Keep posting, you're nearly there :D

A Challenge Cheerleader

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Review #2, by MargaretLane Chapter 1

27th October 2015:
LOVE the idea of this story. I always feel Peter Pettigrew is judged very harshly, even more harshly than those who joined the Death Eaters because they really thought Muggleborns didn't deserve to live or just took pleasure in hurting people or to advance their own social and political position.

Love the description of the Order of the Phoenix as "an underground group". And I LOVE Bathilda's comment. It sounds so like something I'd imagine her saying.

Yeah, I love a lot already.

It makes absolutely no sense that James or Lily didn't act as Secret Keeper themselves. They put two people - Sirius AND Peter at an unnecessary risk. I know it was just because it had to happen that way for plot reasons and J.K. Rowling may not even have considered that the person could act as Secret Keeper themselves until it came up again later in the series. But it's one of the things that really seems out of place.

I really like the insight you give into his relationships with James, Sirius, Remus and Lily. It's really in character for Lily to stand up for him, like she did for Severus. She seemed to disapprove of James and Sirius's bullying tendencies. Mind you, so did Remus, but he was so grateful to them for not rejecting them that he didn't seem able to SAY that.

It must have taken a lot of courage for him to approach Voldemort like that. Though I guess he was more scared of the alternative, so it was simply a case of choosing the least frightening scenario.

I really like the way you include Voldemort's skill at Legilimency. It's clear Peter doesn't want to hurt anybody. He just doesn't see another way out. What he does is wrong, but it's hard to judge him for it.

The part where Voldemort says he wants to see the baby reminds me of Herod's attempt to trick the three wise men in the Bible. Not sure if you meant that or not, but it really does work.

Not sure he'd call Harry a Mudblood though. I thought that was an insult for Muggleborns and Harry is half-blood.

I really like this story and I think you did a really good job of getting into the head of a character you disliked so much. Not sure I could do that for Scrimgeour or Umbridge.

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Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Chapter 1

30th September 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

I'm here for our exchange!

Eugh, this made me all sad. I knew how it would end of course but that didn't stop be begging Peter to change his mind in my head the whole way through!!

I think you picked a very crucial moment to write here and you did it well. I've always imagined Peter was found and at least took a little bit of persuading from the death eaters but no. This way I think makes his betrayal worse for me. He willingly goes and gives up his best friends and he knows deep down what it will mean for them. His excuses are poor.

I liked how you wrote his thought processes throughout the whole thing. It was very much indecisive right up until that last point when he just completely sells them out. I like that it was Lily more than anything that was holding back too, although I was a little surprised that Harry and what would happen to him never even crossed his mind. For him not to even consider him showed how far he'd gone. Also, he was more than willing to let the death eaters go after sirius without a second thought rather than face up. Eugh he makes me so angry.

I almost felt sorry for him at the start. The paranoia and the way it affected him was really awful. He must have known what he was letting himself in for though and it no way excuses him for what he eventually did.

Peters always a tough one I find and he is difficult to write. I thought you did a good job here and I also like how you wrote the story behind his betrayal.

My one bit of CC would be to consider the reception Peter got at Malfoy manor (also, how did he know to just to go there?) Lucius didn't seem that shocked or bothered by his appearance and he was completely trusted straight away. This just didn't quite sit right with me somehow.

Good story though, I'm glad we exchanged! Good luck with the challenge!

Lauren

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Review #4, by Felpata Lupin Chapter 1

23rd September 2015:
Let me get this straight... You had a Peter Pettigrew story and I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT???

Ok, sorry... Now I recompose...

Let's talk about your Peter... I found it quite surprising and sort of weird that he just decided on his own accord to go to Voldemort and betray them. But at the same time, I like this choice because it makes him feel less of a puppet. The fact that he went to seek them out and not the opposite makes him more despisable in a way, but also shows he has a will of his own... sort of...

I still can't understand his reasoning. Why do that? He could've just stayed quiet, tried not to bring attention on himself. They believed Sirius was the secret keeper, obviously, so they would probably leave him alone. He might've been fine...

On the other hand, I can sort of see why he did it... If he really believed it was only a matter of time... if he really believed there was no hope either for him and for his friends...

But then I think... why? If he loved them, even a tiny bit, that should've been enough to stop him. Sirius and Remus not going to visit him is a very poor excuse. And Sirius and James teasing him over the years... well, maybe a bit less poor, but still an excuse nonetheless! And Lily... Urgh, this is just so infuriating!!!

Ok, sorry for this useless rambling of mine. I always get touchy when it comes to Peter and his betrayal... Anyway, I really liked your take on him, how you showed his fragility, how you made me pity him and despise him at the same time (which is what any good Peter story should do...) And as always your writing is smooth, your description done brilliantly and the story as a whole is just beautiful!

Thank you for suggesting me this one and for the swap!!!
All my love,
Chiara

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Review #5, by Shadowkat Chapter 1

20th September 2015:
Here for another promised review!

I love stories about Peter and his betrayal. There's something about characters like this that make you want to get inside their head and know why they did what they did. I find it's rarely as black and white as people try to make it, though that's also never a excuse.

I like how you still had that selfishness in there, but made it more logical than people sometimes do, and also still had a reason for him to hesitate for a moment. I feel like Peter wasn't always like this, that being shoved to the side really had affected him. The thing about Lily is, I imagine from what we know, that she had a quality that made people open up to her, feel safer around her.

I love this, and I'll be adding this to my favs. ;)

Author's Response: Hi Kat!

Thanks for this review!

Peter is a really interesting character to play with and it was really a challenge to get inside of his head.

I really believe that if he hadn't gotten pushed to the side things might've been different. I bet if he had actually seen Lily recently, he might never have betrayed them. I think it was hard for him to justify risking his life over a distant memory.

I'm glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for all of your kind words!

~Kaitlin


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Review #6, by Dojh167 Chapter 1

15th September 2015:
FSF Review # 3

I was super drawn to this story, and am going to race to finish this review before the place I'm in closes.

I have never read anything really looking at Peter's decision to betray his friends, and I definitely appreciate Jenn for including it in her challenge Peter either, but I always enjoy a close look at characters who aren't often written about.

I really enjoyed your news excerpt that you included at the beginning. It was a really powerful way to open the story and ground us in the reality of this world and its stakes.

However, I did feel that the language of the article was a bit casual, which made it feel less realistic. For example, including the word "unfortunately" as the opening of a sentence makes it feel more conversational than the formal, detached facts that I would expect to find in such an article. Similarly, I thought it was odd that "Upon arrival at the scene, Aurors noticed the dark mark" - I assumed that the auror s came BECAUSE of the Dark Mark, so this seems like a strange detail.

The description of Peter's reaction to the article is incredibly effective. He is having an even stronger reaction to it than us readers, who know little about Marlene and the others. This creates a really strong sense of sympathy for him, and even though I know what it will lead him to do, I also really strongly feel the same fear that he does. Your description of how he imagines being trapped and tortured is also viscerally powerful.

In the paragraph beginning "Every part of him wanted to protect," I feel that you use the word "had" too any times.

I think it says something really huge about Peter's character that he feels abandoned for not visiting his friends, but he doesn't seem to make any effort to visit James and Lily.

I love the phrase "Pushing the images of Lilyís tear streaked face to the back of his mind," because it both speaks to the happy tears I had just referred to, and the inevitable pain he would cause her.

I think it is an interesting choice that, despite Peter's fears of being caught and tortured, this was not what led to his betrayal. He made the choice himself from the very begininng, and it makes him an even more cowardly and unforgivable character. All of the sympathy is gone by this point.

What makes me so angry about this is that Peter COULD both save Lily and save himself (in his eyes) by joining the Death Eaters. All he has to do is transfer his guardianship to somebody else and give himself to the Death Eaters, still a valuable traitor and/or spy, but without the necessary information they would need to kill Lily. But nope.

Lucius seems oddly polite. I definitely do picture him with a sinister degree of civility, but I didn't see much of that darkness here. He kind of reads as a friendly butler, which lessens the stakes of the situation.

Was The Malfoy Manor Voldemort's head of operations for the First War as well? This seems a little unlikely to me, with Draco as a baby and Lucius not yet fallen from Voldemort's favor.

The way that Voldemort just calls him Peter is chilling and gross. Icky, icky man. But we know that.

Peter. What are you doing? You go to betray your friends and give up halfway through? Have some follow-through, you coward. XD

Again, "That's okay" feels far too casual expression for the Dark Lord's lips.

Haha, this story is basically choice-no choice - choice - no choice - choice - no choice... But in the end he makes the choice, and without a second thought. There is no torture, no direct threat to his life. Just his cowardice.

Great job with this chapter. See all the different things you made me feel about Peter?

Sam.

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Review #7, by manno_malfoy Chapter 1

8th September 2015:
Hello! So I've been wanting to start reading your stories ever since I've come back onto the forums, and I'm very glad I finally did! And let me get it out of the way before I start talking about this story, but I think what you're doing with trying to participate in every challenge on the forums is pretty awesome!

I think that the hardest stories to write are the ones about characters that everyone dislikes. Peter Pettigrew isn't a character that I read about often, but I quite enjoyed this little story about him. I must say that I still couldn't sympathise with him too much.

I did a little bit when he started thinking about Marlene and feeling bad about her death. But I thought that would propel him towards trying to protect the rest of his living friends, not the opposite... But of course, he did he have a bit of a selfish streak.

The indecisiveness was obvious and well-illustrated! He thought of Lily and how much he appreciated her (and that bit made me light up because you would expect him to have been a normal teenager at most points and it's important to remember that, especially when we're looking into a turning point in his life). And then came the justifications for giving up the secret. He'd call them 'justifications', but I'd call them petty excuses for being a horrid friend.

But I do suppose that if James and Sirius had been nicer to him, MAYBE he would've had one less excuse, and who knows... MAYBE he would have kept his mouth shut. It's an interesting prospect, really, that he might've done it out of feeling a lack of appreciation.

I thought that you really reinforced that he wasn't doing this to hurt James and Lily but solely to protect himself was when he was trying to mislead the Dark Lord. And I did admire that he at least tried. I just tried to cling to every bit of hope that he'd turn around and leave before he let on too much. But of course, that couldn't have happened.

I think Peter is such a complex character. Petty, but complex, and I do believe you brought out both aspects in this story.

Thanks for the swap! And I do look forward to reading more of your stories soon!

-Manno

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Review #8, by ScorpiusRose17 Chapter 1

3rd September 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

I am here with your challenge review! :)

This was excellent! I know that you said in your Author's note that you struggled with this, but really I didn't see any of that as I read along.

The way that you depicted Peter was great. That indecisiveness is really what gets him in the end a long with the selfishness. The one thing that bothered me about the enter scenario of Peter defecting from the Order is that he cared about his friends, but not an innocent baby.

Anyways, I really enjoyed this and I thought you did a great job with a really tough character!

Good luck in the challenge! :)

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hi Jenn!

Thank you so much! I really did struggle with writing Peter, so I'm thrilled that you thought it was alright.

Peter is definitely indecisive and selfish. I'm glad that you disliked how Peter didn't care about the baby. I think it shows the beginnings of who he becomes...and that's a hideously vile person.

Thank you so much for the challenge! It definitely encouraged me to write a character I might not normally write!

~Kaitlin


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Review #9, by adluvshp Chapter 1

1st September 2015:
Hey there =)

Okay, I totally dislike Peter but you extracted a small ounce of pity and sympathy for him from me with this one-shot. Kudos for that!

I enjoyed your writing here. You portrayed Peter in a grey light - no one is black and white, purely good or purely evil, and you showed just that. How human Peter is.

His fear, his cowardliness, his self-loathing, his nervousness, his feeble attempt to lie, it all made sense and was written very well. You did a tremendous job with his characterisation, especially since he is a very difficult character to write.

Your take on things certainly is very interesting. It is a small comfort that he did not want to betray his friends completely, that he tried to lie. Of course, in the end he chose betrayal over death and I guess that's a choice many people might make.

All in all, your writing was once again very good. I really liked it. Another interesting read!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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