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Reading Reviews for Tremor
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by NPE Quake

14th November 2015:
Hello,

NPE here, from the forums earlier...

That was really cool to read. Sorry if that sounds grim, of course I don't revel in people dying.

What I mean is you captured Bellatrix and that sort of unhinged, careless malice brilliant. You made her seem like a vicious beast, but also a ridiculously skilled, precision killer.

I also think that last line was great, such a deadpan British way of having your last words.

Which is what she was.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for dropping by.

It's okay. I understand what you mean.

I'm so happy that you think I captured Bellatrix well. She's one of my favorite characters, so I really worked hard on her.

The ending was something that I very much enjoyed too.

Thanks again for stopping by to review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #2, by An Puca. Quake

26th October 2015:
BOO! With Halloween approaching, I've been popping up to review a few interesting looking stories and yours caught my eye.

Muggles, eh?

Really like the description of the tremor and the bridge. It really gives the feel of what is happening. Nicely haunting.

Floating really does give Muggles such a shock. Quite amusing sometimes.

Author's Response: Eek! You scared me!

Thank you for stopping by.

I'm happy to hear that you liked the description. I always work really hard at description.

Floating does seem to shock Muggles. You think other things would be more shocking.

Thanks for the review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #3, by Unwritten Curse Quake

20th October 2015:
Hi Kaitlin! I'm finally here to read your entry for the Muggle Challenge! :)

AND OMG I'm obsessed. This is brilliant! You took a scene from canon and wrote it from a Muggle's perspective. And it's dark and eerie and perfectly characterized. I honestly felt like I was reading a scene that Rowling wrote--you got that feel down. Like how she started the series, with Vernon going to work, and how "normal" it felt, until it wasn't. Brilliant.

And the ending! This genre is so hard to write because it can easily go over the top, so to end with him thinking about something so mundane was the perfect cherry on top.

I feel like words are eluding me right now (could be because I just spent a few hours working on my thesis) but I really, really enjoyed this. You managed to pack a lot into a thousand words.

Thanks for a great read!

--Gina

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Review #4, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 Quake

7th September 2015:
Tasha here for the review swap.

I've never thought about this event much. at the most all I connected it to was another Death Eater act. With the books and films all we see is the Wizards POV and opinions and this definitely put this event into a new perspective for me. I never gave much thought to how the Muggles on the bridge must have felt to have their last moments on earth be the knowledge that they were going to die on that bridge and at the hands of some crazed group of people waiving "sticks" that somehow made the bridge collapse.

I thought this came together nicely and I really enjoyed it. I will have to come back when I have more time and read your other fics.

Peace, Love, and Tacos

Tasha

Author's Response: Hi Tasha!

Thanks for the swap!

I've never actually seen another fic about the Brockdale Bridge incident, so I was really excited to try and write about it. I'm glad that you enjoyed the muggle POV of it.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

~Kaitlin


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Review #5, by merlins beard Quake

7th September 2015:
Hey Kaitlin, I'm (finally) here for our swap.

I like the way you developed the story, the way you wove the new Muggle into the magical world. I can totally see Bellatrix doing what she does here. (I always imagined thst there were giants involved here, but this almost makes more sense, because someone would have probably seen the giants from quite far away)

As you probably already know, I like your writing a lot, and there's really not many things I can even criticize. I have a couple of points of constcrit here tho, and I hope you don't mind.

One thing is that (and this sentence is definitely overstating things, but I don't know how else to put it) the story feels a tiny bit stiff. You know, this is a really panic inducing experience for our new muggle friend, yet I can't feel any panic radiating from the way you write him. It keeps me apart from the story emotionally, where it would maybe be better to be pulled in, to feel what he feels. I think he's a little too rational about this.

The second thing really is only personal preference, but I thought I would say it anyway. I think this is one of those stories where I would have gone with second person pov to make it more emotional... Of course it's fine the way it is too.

Oh, just thought of one more thing... does he have family? Does he worry about them during the catastrophe taking place?

I really don't want this to come across as harsh, because it's not meant to be (it's a pity you can't get across the tone in which you say something in a written review). I really do like this a lot, you've done well with the plot, and it flows really beautifully. I'm still amazed at the amount of stories you're writing. If I did that, I'd probably let the quality of my writing slip...

Thanks so much for the swap!

~Anja

Author's Response: HI Anja,

I'm happy to hear that you find the plot believable. I agree that Giants would probably be hard to sneak into the center of a city.

I'm sorry to hear that the story felt stiff to you. I was trying to go for Robert being completely stunned by what was happening and not really knowing how to react. You know how people sort of freeze in panic situations?

I didn't write this in second person for two reasons. 1. I personally don't think it fits here. 2. I think third person works perfectly fine for action stories.

He does not have a family, which is why I didn't write about a family or any thoughts of them. He's just a guy on his way to work.

Thanks for all of the concrit. I assure you I plan to give this a thorough look over now and make some adjustments.

~ Kaitlin


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Review #6, by alicia and anne Quake

30th August 2015:
An earthquake? Yikes!

Hahaha the huffing at traffic, and moaning about the broken bridge. I love it.

Oh no! The bridge is being attacked, and it's going to break! It's Death Eaters, I know it is!

And I was right! It's Bellatrix! Curse her! I hope that Robert doesn't die, I want him to get off of the bridge and to safety :(

This is so terrifying! I just want to help them all and curse Bellatrix away!

NO!! HOW COULD YOU END IT THERE! I NEED ROBERT TO ESCAPE! ROBERT NEEDS TO LIVE!

This was so brilliantly written, you've done such an amazing job writing a muggle seeing magic for the first time. It was all starting out so nicely with a traffic jam and then bam! You hit me right in the feels!

Please write a sequel where Robert survives! Please *begs*

Author's Response: Hi Tammi!

Have I told you recently how amazing you are for leaving everyone such lovely reviews? If not, let me do so now. You are amazing!

I feel like there isn't anyone in the world who doesn't get frustrated with traffic.

Robert definitely gets off the bridge, although I have a feeling it's not quite what you meant.

Bellatrix is definitely awful.

I kind of wanted to keep the ending a bit ambiguous and let the reader decide whether he lives or dies.

I'm glad you like what I did with this.

Maybe I'll have to bring Robert back in another story down the road somewhere.

Thanks so much for this lovely review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #7, by carry on with your knitting Quake

29th August 2015:
Hey Kaitlin! :)

I'm here for another review swap!

This was definitely different from anything I've ever read here before, I would never think to write from a muggle perspective, but it's brilliant! I think you describe Roberts 'fear of the unknown' really well! and loved that you have him checking for wires before admitting to himself that she was actually levitating! Mugs are so ignorant! ;)

The pace was something that struck me as particularly great. It was quick which really gave a sense of Roberts panic and the general panic of the whole situation! Pu the pace slowed when he was finally accepting that he would die, which was so impressive! :)

I loved the last line 'darkness overtook him' because it gives a sense of hope and makes that actually ending not as dark as it is to start with. :)

I loved it! Another great One-Shot! Keep up the amazing writing :)

Katie :)

Author's Response: Hey Katie!

Yeah. I haven't really done much from a Muggle perspective either, but that was the requirement for this challenge. I'm really glad too, because it caused me to push in a direction I might not have gone otherwise.

I think most of us would react similarly when seeing something we don't understand happening.

Oh! I'm thrilled about your comments on the pace. Whenever I write a short one-shot, I worry that it will seem to rush and this one was particularly sparse. I'm glad it worked out okay.

I tried to leave the ending up to the reader. It doesn't say that he dies explicitly, so there's the possibility that the police or emergency services might've rescued him from the river.

Thanks so much for the swap!

~Kaitlin


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Review #8, by Freda_and_Georgina Quake

28th August 2015:
Hello! This is Georgina with your first prize review!

That was really interesting. At first I thought Bellatrix shouldn't be seen by anyone, but then I realized "Why not? Any one who saw her would have died." And Bellatrix would like to play with her food before she eats it. I really love the theme of muggles relying on authorities; that's what I'd do! Yet at the same te it never really works out.

I'm surprised this doesn't have more reviews; it's really good and I liked it.

Review you later!
--Georgina

Author's Response: Hi Georgina!

Thank you so much for the lovely review! This story is actually brand new. I literally posted it about 4 hours ago, so that's why it doesn't have any other reviews on it yet. :D

I agree with what you had to say about Bellatrix. I definitely don't think she'd care if she were seen because she plans to kill everyone. I think she'd even like the idea of them seeing her and knowing who was killing them.

Thanks again for the review!

~Kaitlin


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