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Reading Reviews for First Hand Experience
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal Prologue: Tough Decisions

3rd April 2017:
When this story started I was a little confused as to why Kingley was talking as much as he was as I've never pictured him to be overtly talkative but when I realized that this is from when he is minister of magic it all suddenly made sense to me as I know as a public figure and head of a government body you must speak all the more.

I think it will be interesting to see where you go with this story, particularly with the challenge you have before you! Adventure, romance, trolls? Oh my!

I also find it interesting that Finnegan is leading is all subjects in auror training. I wouldn't have expected that! I like it though. It is a nice little twist, interesting and amuses me so. I will admit that I do love Seamus. I'm guessing you are basing things off the movies a bit here as his propensity to blow things up was more the movies than the books, not that I'm complaining I think it was a lovely little quirk added by the movies.

Anyway while the start of this story is promising and quite good, I did want to offer one minor critique - there is a 'they' missing it's y. (Unless my phone dropped it.) If it did please ignore that critique! Otherwise fantastic start!

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Review #2, by adluvshp Prologue: Tough Decisions

3rd April 2017:
Hey there! Here to review for Slytherin!

What an interesting start to your story. I really like the premise already, and the prologue sets things up very well. The way you use the dialogue between Gawain and Kingsley to establish the situation and give information to the viewers regarding what's happening - or what's going to happen - is great. We already know that there's a project in Norway and who are the trainee aurors and what's the situation been like since after the war. It's also a subtle way of saying that maybe the auror office is a little shorthanded after everything that happened.

And of course, Harry, Ron and Hermione are meant to be picked. Interesting that Seamus makes the cut too, and nice touch there with Kingsley doubting the decision but Gawain explaining it - it also clears things up in the reader's mind, again clever use of dialogue!

I also really enjoyed your descriptions. They are not overly done but they tell enough for you to visualise the scenario. I really loved this line: "...His once smooth skin now sagged with wrinkles and rough grey hairs sprouted from his unshaven chin." It tells a lot about the situation, the work, the lifestyle, and leaves you to visualise Kingsley at the same time in a few short words.

Overall, this is great and Your writing skills are amazing! I am looking forward to see how things play out further! Cheers.

9/10
-Angie

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Review #3, by Akussa Chapter 2: Hurried Goodbyes

15th September 2015:
Hello!

Another short chapter but effective. I can't wait for the mission and the action to officially start.

The detailing of the chicken was well done this time around. I actually want to eat chicken right now and I'm disapointed in my pork receipe for tonight :D

I like how Ginny understands Harry's situation and doesn't act like a childish, girlfriend. Good job on the characterisation.

One little thing I noticed was a spelling error here :

"Soon everything was ready and Harry was on his was back downstairs."; you mean "... on his way downstairs."

Other than that, nothing jumped out at me. Great job so far, and I can't wait to read the rest!

Akussa

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for all three of your lovely reviews.

I'd hope the food descriptions were good since I work as a chef. :D

Definitely not the childish girlfriend. She's always struck me as much more mature than that.

Thanks for pointing out the typo. Sometimes my fingers move faster than my brain.

~Kaitlin


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Review #4, by Akussa Chapter 1: Announcements Are Made

15th September 2015:
Hello again,

Nice continuation! Altough I would have loved more details in order to visualize the scene a bit more, I like how straight to the point you are.

I'm getting excited about the The Guards of Gorgorth, I hope we'll get more informations later on about what they are doing, their goals, activities... And what the Aurors in mission found out as well

One little detail I forgot to mention in the fist chapter as well; Seamus' last name is spelled "Finnigan" in the books.

Other than that, I enjoyed this chapter, on to the next one!

Akussa

Author's Response: Hi again,

It's funny you mention the detail. Usually, description is my thing, but in this story I was trying to make it read a bit like an action movie, so I wanted it to be very direct.

There will definitely be tons more information about the Guards of Gorgroth in the upcoming chapters. In fact, chapter 4 should be really where they start to come into play a bit.

Thanks for pointing out that hideous error on Seamus' last name. I'll definitely fix it.

~Kaitlin


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Review #5, by Akussa Prologue: Tough Decisions

15th September 2015:
Hi!

This is an interesting story beginning; straight into the storyline and no beating around the bush, I like that!

I really like how you set the time and situation subtely, giving us an idea of how much time has gone by, what kind of recognition the students had after the war.

One little thing bothered me a little though; I have to admit that I find it strange that the minister would discuss such a private and important thing in the middle of the atrium. Either they get into a private room or cast a privacy charm over themselves but I would change that a little bit.

Other than that, it was all great; I didn't spot any glaring mistakes and so far enjoy your storytelling very much!

Akussa

Author's Response: Hi there!

I wanted to jump right into the action because I imagined this as sort of similar to an action movie. Very direct. Not a lot of fluff.

I'm glad you liked the little bit of world building in there.

I understand what you're saying about the conversation. I suppose that in my head I imagined them talking and walking as they rushed around dealing with things. I'll think about how I could make it more private though.

Thanks for the review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell Prologue: Tough Decisions

9th September 2015:
Hey hey! Here for our swap :D

Erm, late. As...sometimes happens. It seems like I have no middle ground with swaps. I'm either absurdly fast or I'm behind. Sorry about that! But here I am.

So, I saw that this was a multchapter fic, and Aurors in Norway was just such a specific and interesting premise that I was dying to check it out! I was close to picking this last time, but we have already covered in detail how hard I find it to choose what to read every time I come to your page.

Okay, so first off, I'm a bit excited to see Harry in a trainee position. I don't think I've ever seen that before, or at least not much of it. That'll definitely be interesting. And good to see Ron, as well.

And Seamus! I have a soft spot for Seamus, so I'm glad to see he's going to be on this team, too. Though, to be honest, I'll be a little disappointed if he doesn't blow something up. At least once. ;)

Gawain seems to be on top of his game. He has a reason for everything, and an in depth knowledge of the skills and weaknesses of everyone who serves under him. We just get a glimpse of him, here, but he seems like a skilled leader and definitely has what Dumbledore might call a "well-organized mind". He can obviously process a lot and can think on his feet, so he seems like the right person for this job. I do wonder how long it's been since he's been in the field, though. And what it'll be like to have the present and future heads of the department on the same mission. How do you deal with having a "trainee" and "subordinate" who defeated a darker wizard than any you've ever faced? Who literally saved the world. I look forward to seeing how that dynamic plays out.

I also just wonder how they'll react. Bet they'll be glad to be out of the classroom. After the war and all, it seems like that might get a bit dull.

CC:

The biggest thing I could suggest would be to open with a bit more of a bang. It's clear that the Auror Department is busy, but it seems like it would suit the story for the beginning to really pack a punch. Maybe everyone has heard that something has gone down in Norway, and they're scrambling to get all the details? Maybe it's shocking to see the Minister of Magic, in person, appear at the Auror's Headquarters, because that could be a rare event? It would just be good to feel that sense of something huge is happening right from the beginning.

The other thing that struck me as a little odd was Kingsley's comment about "real life experience." It just seemed unusual that he'd ever accuse Harry and Ron of lacking such a thing, since he's the one who decreed that those who fought in the Battle of Hogwarts could skip N.E.W.T.s and become Aurors (and Harry and Ron had a lot more experience than just the Battle). However, I see the point of the line, and I wouldn't want you to lose it, as it's a good opportunity for Gawain to explain why they (and Seamus) are good picks. I might suggest having Kingsley list off several requirements for all Aurors sent on sensitive missions abroad: i.e. "it requires top marks in training, at least 40 arrests, 3 years of field work at minimum - you need Aurors with full training, with real life experience, with -"

That way, he's kind of lost in the list, and it seems more like an oversight. Or else, you could just have Gawain mention that he's planning on pulling out "trainees" without specifying who, and then after Kingsley questions their experience, he could mention which trainees he meant, in particular. Those are just suggestions, though!

I didn't notice any grammar issues, so great job with that!


I'm definitely interested to see where this story will go further. Even little things, such as the fact that there's a Bulstrode that's an Auror--A Pureblood! In Law Enforcement! So soon after the war!--intrigues me. And then the fact that it's in Norway. What's going on in Norway?! How did these guys get captured? What kind of a mission were they on? You can tell it's going to be a wild ride--Harry, Ron, Seamus, and the head of the Auror Department on a mission abroad? Sign me up! I'm excited to see what you're going to do with it. Knowing you, it'll be something very creative and interesting! And it's just cool to read a multi-chapter fic from you. You produce such high quality one-shots, and I always enjoy them, but you're always stretching your limits, and I imagine this will stretch them in a different way. I always love seeing how you face new styles and new challenges, so I can't wait to see what you do with this!

A pleasure, as always!

--Penny

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Review #7, by Veritaserum27 Prologue: Tough Decisions

8th September 2015:
Hi there Kaitlin!

I'm here for our review swap. I picked this story because I really love action/adventure/mystery stories. But I need to comment on the sheer number of stories you have posted. Yikes, girl - seriously! I'm impressed that you even have the gumption to do 100 challenges in a row, nonetheless with all the stipulations you've put on yourself. That's why I gave you a nomination for most dedicated author. It's more than impressive.

Now onto the actual review of this story - haha!

Right of the bat, you've set the tone of this with your use of of language and the way you've constructed your sentences. It reads like an "Auror's Tale." The shortened phrasings and the details about time, place and physical appearance of the characters makes me feel like I'm in a 1950's detective film. It's exactly the sort of thing I'm looking for in my mystery stories. You give the reader little glimpses of character traits and flaws. That keeps us interested and wanting for more.

And I absolutely LOVE how you've tied this all into Harry and Ron's (and Seamus's for that matter) very first case. This is shaping up to be a very interesting scenario. The Auror department needs to pull from among its trainees to send them along a potentially life-threatening mission, because they are essentially short-staffed.

With all due respect, Sir, are you suggesting that thereís anyone with more practical experience at fighting Dark Wizards than Potter and Weasley?

Ain't that the truth? I actually always thought Harry would be fast-tracked to Auror-hood. It almost seems insulting to make him go through the regular channels. But Harry would probably never complain about being treated like everyone else, he would appreciate it (as long as no Death Eaters escaped).

I also really, REALLY appreciate that you've acknowledged Ron's abilities as well. Too often, he is overlooked. In his own right, he is a force to be reckoned with and the more I read and write about him, the more I find I'm intensely protective of his character.

This was a great first chapter. I didn't catch any typos and after reading your Author's note, I'd say you did a fabulous job incorporating ALL THOSE requirements! I can't wait to see how the romance plays into it.

Great story!

♥ Beth

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Review #8, by Madeye Chapter 1: Announcements Are Made

6th September 2015:
I really like this story! Please update soon😀☺️😊

Author's Response: Hi Madeye,

Thank you so much. I'm hoping to update this once a week from here on out.

I hope you'll enjoy the chapters to come!

~Kaitlin


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Review #9, by carry on with your knitting Prologue: Tough Decisions

31st August 2015:
Hey! :)

I'm here for another review swap! I really love reading your stories!:)

This was another great one! Even though it's just the start you could really feel the urgency of the whole thing and how torn Kingsley was about letting the younger Aurors go. The pace was fast and kept me reading quickly and wanting to know what was going to happen! :)

I really liked the idea of the name Gawain; this might just be me and not your intention at all, but their is a character in Merlin the TV show called Gawain and you have written him in a way that just makes me picture the Gawain in Merlin :') It's great though I really like his characters already, he has a great cheeky edge to him! :)

This reminded me of the start of a really cool spy film or an action film! But for some reason I can also picture it being really humorous as well! Like I can picture, just after Gawain was talking them all up, him walking into Auror training and like Ron is fast asleep and Harry of golfing off and Seamus like chatting up some girls or something :')

I really loved this and I can't wait for you to post some more! I wanna know if they save the other guys! :D

Katie :)

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Review #10, by Gabriella Hunter Prologue: Tough Decisions

30th August 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and you should know me pretty well by now. I thought that I would stop by this story before checking anything else out, you've got a lot of new stuff on here! I'm so excited!

I don't read enough stories about Aurors. I think that they have a tough job and are pretty fantastic but I hardly read any stories about them for some reason. I like the start of this story though because you don't exactly say what's going on or why that group of Aurors has gone missing. Were they kidnapped? Killed? Is there a crazy witch/wizard out there starting up trouble? There are so many mysteries here that I think you can build up on but for now, we're left with this ominous sense of urgency.

Kinglsey of course is trying to do his job and get things on track, all while having that pressure on his back. I've never written him before but I love your take on him and I'm eager to know more about the characters that you've introduced too. Harry, Ron and Seamus sound like a great addition to the mission but they're still pretty fresh. They've got the experience though, considering what they went through and I'm super curious to know what happens next! :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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