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Reading Reviews for Cruel Inheritance
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dinthemidwest The Morning After

29th May 2016:
Your stories are terrific-more on Sirius please!!

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Review #2, by Marshal The Morning After

4th October 2015:
Hi,

I am here for the review swap and this was really good. This is a moment that is so difficult for the marauders and something that intrigues me so very much. You have really captured the emotion here and I love it. This is so very Sirius and to be honest I would love to see where you would take things from this point forward.

I've always thought that in some ways the friendship of the marauders did not continue to be as strong as it once was because of Sirius' mistake.

Honestly you handled the emotions of the moment so very very well and were very true to the nature of Sirius. I usually like to leave a little constructive critique with a lot of my reviews but I didn't see anything out of place with this story. It was very clean and very on point. Fantastic work.

- Marshal

Author's Response: Hi Marshal!

Thank you so much for this review! You are seriously too nice!!

I think this is an interesting moment with a lot of complexity, and it was really fun and thought-provoking to imagine each character's response. I'm so pleased that you thought Sirius was in character! :) I am not very much like him, so I really have to get out of my own head and into his when I write him.

Thanks again for the swap! Hit me up any time :)
~Renee


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Review #3, by Fonzzx The Morning After

30th September 2015:
Ok so Iíve been meaning to review all the individual entries I got for the Blackinnon Challenge for a while nowÖ I read them all as soon as they were entered, but never actually got round to reviewing and deciding on a winnerÖ until now!

Ah, the prank! I was wondering if anyone would write about it, and how Marlene would feel about itÖ and here you are, writing it for me!

I love how Sirius acknowledges what heís done and feels bad about it. I love how the rest of the Marauders arenít letting him get away with it either. And neither is Marlene, apparently. She calls him out on it and compares him to the rest of his family.

Ooh, the next paragraph has angsty Sirius. Wonderful! I bet he was very moody as a teenager, given his home life. But the Gryffindor in him is making him set it right, as he should.

Ah, Marlene is Muggle-born in your version of events. Canonically speaking, we donít know what her heritage is, we just know that the McKinnons were a wizarding family. They could all be Muggle-born wizards. I know that Marlene is portrayed as Muggle-born in the film thatís been produced, The Gathering Storm. You should check it out if you like the Marauders, the trailer is on YouTube. Personally Iím really excited for it (and now Iím getting off topic so Iíll go back to reviewing your piece now).

She puts him in his place. Excellent. I adore this.

In the end, we see her comforting him as a friend. We know, because itís told from his perspective, that he sees her as more than that, and I think she does too. I think sheíd be too mad at him if they were just friends.

I really enjoyed this one shot. Nobody else wrote about the aftermath of the prank and it was interesting to see everyoneís reactions, although I think Marleneís was more important to Sirius at the time.

After I review everything, Iím going to post the results on the forums. Keep an eye out!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for hosting the challenge and leaving such a nice review!

I HAD NOT HEARD OF THAT FILM. GOOGLING ASAP!!!

I do imagine Sirius as a rather angsty teenager, with a cavalier facade that he doesn't manage to maintain in this scene. And I definitely agree that Marlene has feelings for him beyond friendship. I'm glad that came across for you.

I never thought of the McKinnons as a wizarding family - I know they were killed during the war, but in my mind only Marlene was a witch/wizard or involved with the Order. It's always so fun to hear how different people interpret these things!

Thanks again! I really enjoyed writing for this challenge!
~Renee


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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell The Morning After

7th September 2015:
Ooooh!

So, I also told you I was gonna come here, but then I was all caught up on your Petunia & Lily story, and this gorgeous banner drew me in.

And dear, you definitely did not disappoint.

I'm really impressed.

This was a perfect missing moment--brief, believable. It felt like it could have been pulled straight out of the Marauder's actual history--it seems like this really could be the way things went down. First off, you picked an excellent moment! I'd never thought much about what happened after Sirius nearly got Snape killed when they were all in school, but I imagine it would have been just like this. I loved how you explained the pain of his friends all turning their backs on him, even though he absolutely knew he deserved it. The best detail of that section was his knowledge of Peter's character, that he would defer to the popular opinion.

And then I LOVED what you did with Sirius' self-recrimination--how for him, what he's done is the "cruel inheritance" of being a Black, that dark spot in his character he's never quite been able to wash away, much as he wanted to separate himself from his family. It was just such a good point, and it made so much sense that he'd hate himself all the more for being like them, for giving into that cruelty.

I also like how Marlene didn't go easy on him, but still, she kind of understood. She held him accountable, but she also knew that there was nothing he could do to make it better. And when she sensed his pain and his very real remorse, she comforted him. I like that.

I also love that you made her a Muggleborn. The Blacks would have hated it.

And then I like how Sirius explained that it wasn't exactly a romantic moment, even if it read like one. It was dark and broken and still kind of sweet, and we can maybe discern the seeds of romance there, but that wasn't all that this was about. And I liked that.

I don't even have CC. I didn't notice a thing. I mean, I got a little caught up in the story, but even so it's rare for me to have nothing. This was just very well done, tightly written, and well edited. I really enjoyed it. This is excellent work.

--Penny

Author's Response: I just sat here for an embarrassingly long time trying to figure out how to respond this this review, which is certainly one of the nicest I've ever received. :hug:

First of all, isn't that banner just SO BRILLIANT?!? My jaw *literally* dropped when I saw it at TDA. Katharos is sooo talented!

Also - just to tease you a little ;) - Marlene actually isn't a Muggleborn in my headcanon. She has a rather complicated backstory that I didn't even touch on here. (This is one of few places where I have a really firm, universal headcanon, actually.) But it works perfectly well for you to read it that way.

"It felt like it could have been pulled straight out of the Marauder's actual history" --> Penny, YOU JUST MADE ME GRIN LIKE A MAD WOMAN. Everyone in the coffee shop where I'm hanging out today must think I'm insane.

Everything you said was so unbelievably nice and really made be feel good reading it. Thank you!!

I was actually reading Traitorous Hearts when this popped up in my review box. How's that for a small world?

Thanks again, darling!
Renee


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Review #5, by CassiePotter The Morning After

5th September 2015:
Hi Renee! I was in the mood to read something of yours, and I'm so glad I chose this story. It was absolutely fantastic. You did such a phenomenal job writing Sirius, and really showed the complexity of his character. He's rash and arrogant, and sometimes that backfires on him, like it did here, and he has to deal with the consequences.
I loved the role Marlene played in the story. He could be vulnerable around her, and express to her just how much he regretted his actions. I think that says a lot about her, especially if everyone else Sirius is close to is so mad at him. (And rightly so!)
I really loved the end of this story. I thought it was a really poignant moment between Sirius and Marlene, and loved that, like he said, it wasn't romantic. She was just supporting him when he needed it.
The last line completely broke my heart.
This was a really wonderful one-shot, and I really enjoyed it.
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Cassie you absolute darling, I am so flattered that you thought of reading my stories! (Although, my stories are a bit dark - I hope you are feeling okay! haha)

Sirius is a character that I don't always like in the books, exactly because he is rash and arrogant, but writing this made me much more sympathetic toward him because I bullied him (well, Marlene bullied him on my behalf) into showing some vulnerability.

Thank you so much for your review! I feel like you read the story exactly the way I hoped people would read it. Everything you said put the biggest smile on my face, and I'm very happy you enjoyed the story!

I hope you're having a great weekend!
xoxo Renee


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Review #6, by carry on with your knitting The Morning After

5th September 2015:
Hey! :)

I'm here for the review swap!

I love Blackinnon!! This was a different take on what I've read of them before but I really enjoyed it! I love that you didn't right Soris as the player like most people do, especially that Marlene has been his first kiss and he still remembers it so vividly! I think it adds another layer to Sirius and makes him a more complex character :)
I felt sirius' guilt throughout, which was so important to the story! And I love the way he literally can't express how guilty he feels, poor guy! We have all done things we aren't proud of, and I think you've written him in a way which makes it really relatable!
Oh my goodness the last sentence! Why does Marlene have to die? :( I wish she could have lived through the war so badly and be with sirius!

I thought this was a great one shot and I really enjoyed reading it!
Thanks for the swap! I hope we can do it again :)

Katie :)

Author's Response: Hi Katie! Thanks so much for this lovely review!

Several people have commented on my Sirius being less of a player than usual. I'm glad you liked that and thought it made him more complex.

I really do wish Marlene didn't have to die!! Writing this felt a lot like writing Jilly in a way, because there's this inevitable end looming in the distance. I almost think it's sadder with Blackinnon, because Sirius lives on to suffer, while and least James and Lily go together.

Thanks again for this review, which is so very kind! I'd love to do another swap sometime soon :)
~Renee


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Review #7, by ScorpiusRose17 The Morning After

1st September 2015:
Hi!

I am doing the rounds reviewing the challenge entries! :)

I love this! I am amazed at how you took the one moment and really twisted it to make Sirius' suffering show just how truly sorry he was. The way his friends turned their backs on him was wonderful because it is exactly what I expect them to do. I thought it was also a nice touch adding in the part about him not wanting to be anything like his family. That was very Sirius.

The friendship with Marlene is heartbreaking. Especially the ending... We know from canon what happens to them, but it is so soul shattering that they could have had these moments for them to be lost.

Good Luck in the challenge!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hi Jenn!
I am in the middle of reading a Dobby nom (Rabbit Heart, I'm already hooked!) and this review just popped up out of nowhere when I clicked to the next chapter. It was like magic!

I'm so glad you made this challenge, because I had a lot of fun writing this. I guess that might sound weird since it's a pretty depressing story, but it's the truth!

I will have to follow you lead and read the other entries. I'm sure they're all amazing!

Thanks so much for the lovely review!
~Renee


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Review #8, by TreacleTart The Morning After

31st August 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for our review swap!

At first when I read that this was both for the one moment challenge and the blackinnon challenge I wondered how you'd be able to mesh the two together. I was worried it might be a bit contrived to fit all of the different challenges, but my worries were all for nothing. If you hadn't listed that it was for a challenge, I would've never known at all. It read really smoothly and was easy to follow. There was nothing that really stood out to me as the prompt. It worked quite well.

The moment when Sirius decides to tell Snape where he can find Remus is possibly one of the worst in the story. For one, Snape could have been killed and had Remus killed him, I don't think he could've lived with the guilt. That's a pretty big thing to risk with your enemy, but even worse when you consider that Remus and Sirius are supposed to be best friends. It really makes me cringe.

I love that you've made Marlene such a strong character. She isn't letting Sirius off of the hook easily at all. She wants to make sure he knows how badly he messed up and never repeat that mistake. At the end, when Sirius starts to cry, we get a chance to see a bit of her compassionate side as well, which is a nice contrast.

My only tiny little bit of CC is that to me the very last sentence reads a bit awkwardly. " it will not be me it kills but, far too quickly, her." I would maybe consider rearranging the order of the words to smooth it out a bit.

All in all, a beautiful story. So far I've thoroughly enjoyed everything that I've read of yours. You really have a knack for vivid imagery and just stunning description. Great work!

~Kaitlin

And good luck with the challenges. :D

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin :)

Thank you for this lovely and amazingly kind review!!

I agree that the last line is a bit convoluted. I had a hard time trying to rearrange it, but I'll keep trying. Thanks for bringing that up!

I'm so glad you like Marlene. :) I've never written her before, but she really came alive for me when I was writing this, which made it a ton of fun to write!

And, HOLY MOLY, you wonderfully sweet person: "So far I've thoroughly enjoyed everything that I've read of yours. You really have a knack for vivid imagery and just stunning description."

UMMM. I don't think 'thank you' is sufficient here. NO words, Kaitlin. No words.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
~Renee


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Review #9, by alicia and anne The Morning After

30th August 2015:
That first line speaks to me so much right now.

Although our reasons for no sleep are different haha.

Transgression? Oh what's happened? OH! it's the secret! I get ya now, I probably should have read the next line before I started with the questions. *nods*

Oh Sirius, I understand why they're all doing it, but you don't deserve it and I want to hug you!

Awww he's with Marlene and there's sparks from before and I want them to have more kisses!

Although I'm glad that she's not ignoring him like the others. Although he does need that lecture she gave him.

Awww he's making me sad :( I wish that I could hug him and make it go away.

Oh god, that ending has killed me, I have shattered pieces of heart now and he's broken and I want to fix him! Please let Marlene fix him!

I loved this! You are so wonderful and your writing is so epically brilliant and I hope that you've written more Blackkinnon, or are hoping to because I love them so much!

Author's Response: Hi Tammi!

I really like you you wrote this review as you went - I don't see that style very often and I think it's great!

I was a little worried people would be confused about when this was taking place, but it seems like it makes some sense? Kind of? So that's good.

and, ummm. "You are so wonderful and your writing is so epically brilliant"
--> Can I hire you to hang out with me on bad days and make me feel better? Yes? I'll bring cookies. ;)

I do have an idea for a Blackinnon novel, but it's a ways down my list of upcoming projects. We'll see.

Your review is just the nicest. Thanks again dear!
~Renee


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Review #10, by Unicorn_Charm The Morning After

30th August 2015:
Hey there! Here for our swap!

My poor Sirius! :'( He really did mess up badly though. It was a really stupid thing to do. I was always surprised that Remus even ever spoke to Sirius after doing that. It could have ended so badly. Sirius was lucky.

I think he would have realized he messed up and felt horribly about it. And that's exactly what you showed here. You could feel Sirius' remorse so strongly. He didn't know why he did what he did, but he knew it was the worst mistakes he ever made in his life. I really felt sorry for him here. You could tell that he truly hated himself.

I liked Marlene. She came across as a very strong and sensible young woman. Someone who could really put Sirius in his place when he needs to be. Someone Sirius would really need in his life. I loved how you didn't have Sirius as the typical playboy and that his first and only kiss was with Marlene the year before.

Wow that was some reaction he had to her calling him by his surname. You clearly showed how much he despised being lumped in with his family, especially after what he had just done. For him to lose sleep over being a typical, cruel, heartless Black, and then for her to call him that, since I'm sure they were ok a first name basis at that point. That was a tense moment.

Their conversation in the hall was really great. She didn't coddle him or sugarcoat anything. She was blunt and direct, but also willing to comfort him. It seemed like a total wake up call for Sirius. She's perfect for him. But you left us feeling, with that last line, that being with Sirius would lead to her death. Ugh. The feels!

This was really great. The descriptions were flawless and the emotions were nearly tangible. Your writing has a beautiful flow to it and it was such a pleasure to read! Great work! Good luck in the challenge and thanks for the swap!! &hearts

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

Thank you SO VERY MUCH for this amazing review! Everything you said was so nice and really made me smile like crazy!! Especially that last paragraph you wrote!

"the emotions were nearly tangible" I AM GOING TO KEEL OVER FROM HAPPINESS!

Really, that you so much!!

And good luck to you in the challenge, too! :)

~ Renee


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