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Reading Reviews for Redeeming Percy
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jayna 7; Epilogue

31st December 2015:
Hello again! I can't believe this is this last chapter! This has been a real pleasure to read and it's been exciting to see Percy change and realize the error of his ways. I'm super excited to check out some of your other stuff for your prize reviews and congrats on finishing this story!

The first thing I noticed was that the very first sentence sounded awkward. I think it's because of the two 'Molly's' so maybe you could find a way to eliminate the second with a pronoun? I saw another instance of this in the sentence about the veil tradition and how Justin will be the first person to see Molly as a married woman. You had two 'woman' and I think it would flow better if you changed the second woman to one. "...Justin will be the first to see it as a married one." I dunno, that's just my opinion on those two little bits.

I think that your last paragraph really sums up the whole story really well and it has a sort of final, nostalgic feel to it which is great. I also really liked this part; "...but also a love for her family he had learned too late in life." That part also shows how he wasn't always the person he is now.

Anyway, once again, this entire story has been an emotional roller coaster. Everything you guys write is super easy to relate to and you guys just make the reader feel the character's emotions. You picked a pretty tough character, one that is complex and underappreciated, and you did a phenomenal job with it. I really loved how you ventured into Percy's formative years to show where, exactly, did he 'start going bad'. He changed little by little, for better or for worse, in each chapter, and I have really enjoyed reading this story from it's beginning to the end. Hope you two wonderful authors have a fantastic New Year!

-Jayna

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing the rest of the story! Oh, these weren't the prize reviews? Cool we can't complain about getting more reviews! ;)

Ah yes that bit about the veil? This was one of those times where the original phrasing was much more difficult to follow so when we changed it, the sentence was so much better that we left it alone. Or if it sounded weird we assumed it was the previous phrasing awkwardness lingering in our impression of it.

Well, we do know Percy came back in the end; it was just a matter of filling in the blanks in between. We're glad to hear we did well! (A real challenge would be Wormtail's fall; I don't know how to handle that.)

Yup; people usually change gradually unless its a traumatic event. Or they're just being difficult and moody but that's a little different.

Thank you so much for your feedback, it really means a lot to us! :D And happy new year to you too!

--Freda


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Review #2, by Jayna 6; The Final Moment

30th December 2015:
Hello! I was reading through my review responses and saw that you were planning to post Chapter 6, and I finally got a chance to read it and by that time you had already posted chapter 7! Anyway, I'm planning to read and review this chapter and the next and then get started on your prize reviews in the next few days! I hope you guys are having a wonderful holiday season and will have a fantastic New Year!

As I've said time and time again, you guys have done a fantastic job of showing how Percy changed, little by little, and more importantly, why he changed. I've seen many stories where the character changes for no apparent reason, and the author just is like "this is how the character is now. Deal with it." Adding Penelope in and that whole traumatic event helped explain why Percy changed, and I really liked how you didn't reveal the girl who saved him was Audrey until it had already happened.

Overall, I think my favorite part in this chapter was the part about the wedding invitation. I had always assumed that he had gotten the invitation and decided not to go to the wedding, but this is so much better. It's totally believable that he would have thought it was another letter about how he had left his family, and it broke my heart that he didn't even get a chance to go to the wedding, and that his whole family must've thought he chose the Ministry over them.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by again!

Thank you! The whole point of this story was to show how and why Percy abandoned his family for two years and why he came back. Trust us, you don't want to hear Georgina's rant on a character in a book series she read who randomly changes loyalties.

Penelope's arrest was an idea I (Gerogina) had when thinking about when Percy realized his mistake. I always had it in the back of my mind, assuming she was a muggleborn since the basilisk petrified her. Then when we started this project I found my way to write her arrest in.

The letter was an idea we had after we wrote chapter 3. I wondered how to portray Percy missing the wedding and realized it was plausible he didn't mean to. The way we represented Percy made this very heart-breaking but hey, that's what we were going for.

Thank you for your many kind reviews!
--Georgina


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Review #3, by Jayna 5; His Sixth Year

17th November 2015:
Hello again! I'm back from the Childhood challenge! For right now I won't count this as one of your 3 prize reviews because I said I would review all chapters in the story, but as I have nearly 20 prize reviews to complete for that challenge and am swamped in real-life, that may be subject to change. As a side note, I promise I haven't forgotten about those prize reviews, my goal is to have them all completed before the end of the year. Anyway, I skimmed through my past reviews to get back in the feel for this story, and I'm hoping that will be enough for it to make sense to me.

So, to the review! I think that, as you said, this is definitely one of the less intense chapters, but an important one none the less. As I've said before, you guys do a wonderful job of getting the reader to empathize with the characters, and that holds true in this chapter as well. One thing I thought was especially good was how the Percy that is seen at the beginning of this section is quite similar to the one in the books. He thinks the prefects are more important than they are, he's a little bit pompous, and he has no problem taking control of the situation. However, throughout the chapter you turn him empathetic, caring, and willing to just let someone else take care of everything else for a change. The way you achieved this gradually and realistically made the chapter a whole lot more believable and better overall. In addition, I loved the little joke the twins made. It seemed perfectly in character that they lighten the mood with a little humor in the midst of a crisis. Overall, this was just a pleasure to read and I'm glad I saw that another chapter had been posted. I hope you guys continue with this story!

-Jayna

Author's Response: Don't stress out over the prize reviews; no rush unless you plan to disappear forever or something! And we understand how it goes; we hosted a challenge this summer for which we still owe almost a dozen assorted reviews for, saying to expect them by the end of the year and then start bugging us.

Anyway, glad you came back so late to read! I finally figured out the HPFF glitch on Georgina's computer and I think she is posting chapter 6 tonight. If nott I'll bug her.

Like Percy, I think we both have a hard time seeing a situation that needs help and not being able to do anything about it. (I, Freda definitely struggle with that.) but then I also like to brighten the mood when I can, so I appreciated that very much too.

Thanks!

--Freda


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Review #4, by wolfgirl17 2; Twelve Years Earlier

14th October 2015:
Woah, that was quite the dark turn there girls.

I really enjoyed this fic. I wasn't sure how you were going to go about incorporating your prompt, especially to include Percy, but I definitely wasn't expecting something this intriguing.

It had everything a good dark-twist needs. You've done wonderfully. And for some who isn't exactly big on Percy, I must say that this fic made me like him just a fraction more.

Keep up the great work. Your dedication to entering challenges is unmatched!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Most of the chapters are a little dark in this story, which is quite unusual for us. So I'm glad this chapter turned out well.

Well the goal is to learn to appreciate him more. That ministry loving family disowning power hungry moron - that fully admitted his faults in the end. (Fred! :( ) Hopefully if you read the other chapters surrounding this one it becomes even more convincing.

Thanks for the review and challenge!

--Freda



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Review #5, by Jayna 4; Nine Years Earlier

4th October 2015:
Hello again!

I think my favorite part of this chapter was when Percy was explaining who his favorite sibling was. Overall, this story was a pleasure to read, and I still can't get over that third chapter. I will definitely be back when there are more chapters. I think my favorite thing about what you guys write is how relatable and easy to connect to it is. I really felt for Percy throughout this story and I must say it was very, very interesting to see all these layers and dimensions to him. Too often Percy is cast as the teacher's pet and someone who doesn't care about family. I think you guys did a really good job incorporating those aspects, but also showing the reasons why he's like that and showing a different side of him that isn't often seen. Great job!

-jayna

Author's Response: Like we said, he seemed to be fond of Ron when he wrote a letter warning him in the fifth or sixth book. It was infuriating but it shows Percy cares in his way. From his perspective, the twins are hopeless and Ginny takes after them but Ron still has hope.

We weren't a fan of Percy for a while. Then when he joined the battle- he was obviously a very different person than he was before. We wanted to explain what happened to produce such ambition (he could've been Slytherin) and what happened to turn it around.

Thanks so much for reading this! We actually edited chapter 3 because after your review I realized the transition sentence was missing between leaving the burrow and the getting to his apartment. Also, I've finished first edits on he last three chapters and need to send them to Georgina for her approval or second edits. I should get on that ASAP. (Ps next chapter he's a sixth year.)

Thanks again for the reviews!
--Freda


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Review #6, by Jayna 3; The Ditch Deepens

4th October 2015:
I absolutely loved this chapter! It was just so angsty and bittersweet and sad and I just want to go cry right now. Just look at what you've done! This whole chapter just flowed so well and the ending was perfect. I can't pick a favorite part because this entire chapter was just so great!

I liked how what Percy thought was actually wrong because I can definitely relate to this. It was also so sweet how Bill came to talk to him and the way there was such a brotherly bond. Lastly, I really liked seeing all these different layers of Percy and it was just great. Overall, I don't know how to express how much I loved this chapter. I will say that it made me go hug my brother.

-Jayna

Author's Response: We have been told that we have an above-average amount of empathy in us, so it was easy for me (Georgina) to think through all the stresses Percy would have at this point. Having a younger sister, both Freda and I have had our share of being the "boring sibling".

We're really happy to hear how much this chapter touched you, I always like writing to the heart of the characters and really getting into their psychology and emotions so hearing that you liked this is great.

Again, thank you for another kind review and we hope you will continue to enjoy this story.
--Georgina


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Review #7, by Jayna 2; Twelve Years Earlier

4th October 2015:
Hello again! Wow, this was exciting! Again, wonderful job on the imagery. It made the story come to life, especially in a chapter with a bit more action than the last. I liked seeing yet another side of Percy, the one that protected his brothers and always helped his mom. Another thing I really liked about this chapter was that the children all acted like children. To me at least, their actions and thought processes seemed totally realistic and feasible, and it was VERY interesting to get some context and backstory for how Percy turned out the way he did.

However, for me, once the twins ran into the pet shop it got a bit confusing. I understood in the end, but I had to re-read that section a couple of times. Of course, that might just be because it's 1 AM and I running on very little sleep. Anyway, this was a great chapter!

-Jayna

-Jayna

Author's Response: Good to see you again. Thank you so much for your kind compliments, and yes, we did love creating the relationships between the Weasley kids at a young age. Though this chapter originated in the Dark Turn challenge (make the prompt "Charlie Weasley discovers a new breed of dragon" and make it dark) but I think we managed to fit it in well.

Yes, I can see how it was confusing. That part was kind of rushed because 1. we were trying to limit the word count on this word-packed chapter, and 2. we were trying to represent how quickly it happened to Percy. But we'll try to keep that in mind for the future.

Thanks again for giving us a lovely review!
--Georgina


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Review #8, by Jayna 1; When It Began

4th October 2015:
Hello! Iím here with your review for the childhood challenge! Thank you so much for taking the time to enter my challenge. I will be reviewing every chapter that was submitted for this challenge, but they might be slightly shorter.

Percy is a very complex character in my opinion, and I think you guys did a great job of showcasing all the different sides to him in this chapter. He had a lot of dimension and it was incredibly relatable. I really felt for him and was cringing internally because I wanted to tell him to decline. I think my favorite parts where the ending and the part where Percy started defending his family and Harry. It was really interesting to see as he went through the facts logically and through his boss's bias began changing his views. Lastly, I also enjoyed all the descriptions you guys used in this chapter. It made it really easy to picture and made the whole thing feel more real.

Overall, this was a pleasure to read and I'm excited to see what happens next but also a little sad because I know that the effects of Percy's bad choice are going to come to haunt him.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Hello! I forgot we entered this challenge so it's great to see you! And yay! More reviews to come! Thank you for making this challenge; I (Georgina) love getting character background so this challenge was a pleasure to write for.

I always had a bit of a soft spot for Percy, sometimes feeling like the "boring one" in social groups. It started to harden in the fifth and sixth books but by the Battle of Hogwarts the soft spot was back in full. I wrote this trying to show the reasons behind his bad decisions and that he wasn't a pure jerk.

I'm glad to hear you found it relatable and you could see him rearranging his views for his career. That's what we were going for! Wow, you are so nice.

Thanks for reading!
--Georgina


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