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Reading Reviews for The memories in your biscuits
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Remus Lupin The memories in your biscuits

8th March 2017:
Oh, that's me again in the story! The fact that Minerva considered me to be one of her favourite students warms my heart. She was one of my favourite teachers when I was a student at Hogwarts.

I love the comparison of baking to Transfiguration! When you put it that way, it makes perfect sense that McGonagall enjoys (and is good at) baking.

What's especially wonderful is the context you've given to each time McGonagall offers a student a biscuit - it's not just a random tin she bought at a shop, but something she baked herself, and with all this backstory of the elves who helped her learn how to bake when she was a student, and the people she has impacted while at the same time offering them a biscuit (myself included!) it makes those moments of the story so much richer.

Poor Sirius. It's so sad that McGonagall (and I) spent so many years thinking he was guilty and trying to hate him.

This was such a cute story, and I really didn't expect the dark turn at the end there, with the dementor and then her worst memory. That was so sad to see her lose Dorcas like that. Was that Snape at the end who saved her with the Patronus? It appears I'd underestimated Snape, he really came through in what could otherwise have been a terrible moment.

Last but not least, the structure of this is wonderful, how it weaves in and out of memories and in the present. Memories don't always pop up in a linear way, so this felt very natural and I thought it added a lot to the story. And your writing of McGonagall is perfectly in character.

Another Outstanding for you!

Love,
Remus

Author's Response: You might discover that 90% of my stories are about you (and I'm not even sorry)! And well, if I were Minerva, I would consider you one of my favourite students as well. :)

Baking has that sort of magic, doesn't it? I think McGonagall would see that connection. I'm glad you liked to see the backstory to her biscuits and the way they affected so many people in her life. :)

Yes... that's very sad... at least you found out the truth in the end...

That was quite unexpected. Yes, so sad, I know... It was Snape who saved her, didn't I tell you that he's a better person than what you thought?

Oh, you make me blush, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the structure and the non-linearity of the memories. And also that you found I captured McGonagall well. It's so nice of you!

Thank you again, honey! (And please, if you happen to meet Kristin, give her a huge hug from me)!

Tons of love,
Chiara


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Review #2, by victoria_anne The memories in your biscuits

15th May 2016:
Hmm, what else can I read of Chiara's while I'm procrastinating my own writing...

Ooh a second person POV story! I love these, they're rare and so different! Aaand a Lupin one! Hooray!

Aw it's so sad to see Remus so pessimistic about his future :( I mean, we know he was, but it still makes me sad to read it!

As I was reading I was really wishing for a little story to McGonagall's biscuits, and my wish was granted! And it was so sweet! I love how many details about McGonagall's past you included, like her being in Scotland, Dorcas, and remembering Sirius' sorting after recent events (it still breaks my heart that people thought he was guilty for so long, wahh!)

Comparing baking to magic was a beautiful reference too.

Is anyone else hungry?

And oh her worst memory :(

Your characterisation of McGonagall is just perfect. She's so tough, but has weaknesses and dark moments, and I love how she chose to make the biscuits by hand rather than magic. Beautiful work as always Chiara!

Love B ♥

Author's Response: B!!!
You can read whatever you want, my dear!

You can tell that I love second person too! :D

Poor Remus... Yes, he is so pessimistic... and he has good reason to be... poor kid...

Ah, I'm so glad about it! Edda's story is cute, isn't it? I loved writing about her!

So glad you liked the details about McGonagall's life... And yes, Sirius... that's so sad... :(

Isn't baking sort of magical? I wrote this story not long after my birthday, and I had baked my own cake because I'm celiac. I felt this sense of peace as I kneaded... I tried to put that feeling in this story.

Aww... her worst memory... Dorcas... :'(

Aww, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of McGonagall!

Lots of love, honey!
Chi


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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged The memories in your biscuits

14th March 2016:
Hello! Here for our swap :)

This was lovely. I really like how you've shown Minerva's caring side. She's strong but she also loves people and I think it's important to show that.

All your little mentions of people are gorgeous. I especially liked that snapshot of James and Sirius. McGonagall's seen so many lives and been a part of so many people's growing up.

I think you get Remus very in character. He's likeable but quiet, and it seems like the world is a bit too much for him. Wonderfully written.

I really enjoyed reading this - thanks for the swap!

Emma xx

Author's Response: Hey, Emma!
Oh, thank you! *blushing*

I'm so glad you liked my McGonagall! I totally agree with you, she is strong and stern but also has a big heart. Or at least, that's how I've always seen her!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the memories and all the people that were part of her life (or she was part of their life... either way...) I'm so happy you liked the Sirius bit in particular. It was fun to write, in its bittersweetness...

Oh, I'm so glad you think I captured Remus well! He's my favourite! Love the werewolf boy so much!!! The world does seem a bit too much for him, the poor thing...

So glad you enjoyed the story! It was a pleasure to swap with you! We should do this again sometime! :D

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #4, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The memories in your biscuits

2nd January 2016:
I know, I'm way behind, but I'm still not finished yet!

I actually read this the other day, but got distracted before I could write my review. I'm sorry! :(

I really, really love your characterization of McGonagall here! She's so strong, but also has her weaknesses and is firm, but also nice. You've combined all of those elements perfectly to make her a very likable person. I also really like the fact that, even though she COULD make the biscuits by hand, she CHOOSES not to, because it requires hard work and she really just wants to let off some steam. That's very easy to relate to!

I really liked her interactions with Remus, and how encouraging she was!

But then, the dementor attack was really scary! It was so sad to see her lose Dorcas like that! :( I'm so happy Severus (I THINK it was Severus) was able to save her!

This was another really interesting and really well-written story, dear! Well done!

Author's Response: Hi again, Jayde!
Oh, no worries about the lateness. I'm so happy you decided to read some more of my stories! :D

I'm so glad you liked my McGonagall. I wanted to show a much human and fragile side to her than what we see through the books. I'm so glad you liked it!

Remus really needs someone to remind him that he's better than he thinks from time to time. I think McGonagall wouldn't let him just surrender.

The bit about Dorcas was terribly sad to write, too... Yes, it was Severus who saved her.

I'm so happy you liked this story too! Thank you so much for another great review!!!


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Review #5, by cherry_pop94 The memories in your biscuits

18th December 2015:
Hello Chiara!

I'm here for the swap! I'm typing on my phone now, so sorry for any typos!

This was such a well written story! The beginning was so sweet. McGonagall waiting for Lupin and the flashback to his school days. She's such a brilliant teacher. She comes off as stern, but its so clear that she loves each and every student dearly.

I love your explanation for why she bakes biscuits. I can just imagine lonely little Minerva finding solace in the kitchens. I wish I could taste one of those biscuits!

And then Sirius! Oh my little heart shattered when you talked about him. I know McGonagall finds out thr truth soon, but imagine how terrible it must be to know that you were so wrong about someone for so long!

And Dorcas! Again my heart is broken! McGonagall has suffered too much in her life! When will she be happy? When??

Is it Snape that saves her in the end? Another former student of hers! I wish we could have known her thoughts about him as well as a student!

Anyway, this was brilliantly done! The second person POV was great and this really tugged at my heart.

Great job and thanks for the lovely swap!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hi, Stefanie!
Thank you so much for the swap! It was a great pleasure, just as always! :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, I agree with you, McGonagall is the most amazing teacher. She is strict when she needs to be, but she loves her students deeply. And well... How can anyone not love Remus?

I'm sure those biscuits taste really good! :) I'm glad you liked Edda's story. It's probably my favourite part!

Sirius... Sadly, everyone was convinced that he was guilty... Yes, it's terrible...

Aww... Dorcas... That's probably one of the saddest things I've ever written... :'(

Yes, it is Snape. But I left it a bit vague, because I didn't want her to realize it was him.

Oh, I'm so glad you liked the story and could empathize so much. And that you liked the second person POV, too. I've discovered that I love writing in second person, it really helps to pull out all the feelings!

Thanks to you! It's always great to read your stories and to hear your feedback on mine!

Much, much love!
Chiara


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Review #6, by Sinterklaas The memories in your biscuits

3rd December 2015:
Ho, ho, hello!

Awe, McGonagall reminds me of my Gramammyklaas -- she baked me biscuits when I was feeling down, too. That was certainly a sequence of events -- Dorcas' nearly caused me to cry, even! Oh sweet and not-so-sweet memories! I must say, this was an excellent piece!

Have a wonderful Holiday Season.

Author's Response: Hello, Sinterklaas!
Thank you for stopping by and giving me a bit of this holiday cheer, I truly needed it!!!

Your Grammammyklaas sound amazing! :) She must've been a great gran! ;)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, despite all the sadness... Oh, I know... Dorcas... :'(

Thank you so much again, and have a wonderful Holiday Season too!!!


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Review #7, by Aphoride The memories in your biscuits

14th November 2015:
Hey there, Chiara! :) Dropping by for our review swap! Sorry it's a bit late - got swamped with uni work in the last couple of days, unfortunately, but I'm here now! :D

I really love this one-shot - how it goes so deep into McGonagall's psyche and her friendships with so many other people, all revolving around the biscuits and this kind of chain of links from section to section - which I loved so much! It's such a clever idea to connect them all with the overarching thread of the biscuits and the emotions and things through it.

Your characterisation of Minerva is so great, as are all the other characters. It's such subtle, great, canon-exact characterisation, and it's so amazing. I'm so impressed - Minerva is one of the hardest characters to do, imo; the idea of writing her terrifies me! :) All of the others were equally great - I loved how you didn't always mention their names, but we still knew who they were - it's a real skill to do! ;)

Your writing is so lovely in this, too - so clear and so powerful and evocative. Your description is so, so good - seriously, it just paints pictures. It's so great! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I'm so glad I got a chance to read this! :) Sorry again for the lateness!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!
Thank you so much for the swap (and no worries about the lateness!)

Oh, wow! So glad you enjoyed the story, and how the biscuits' theme linked all scenes together! A lot of people found the jumps in time confusing, so I'm glad you liked the structure!

I would never have dared writing Minerva if it wasn't for the prompt I received for the challenge. I was so thrilled because it was about Remus, and he his my absolute favourite character! But instead of focusing on him, my muse came up with this... Not sure how it happened...

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the characterization, and that all characters felt recognizable and spot-on, even when I didn't explicitly nominate them!

And thank you so much for your positive comments on my writing and description, too! Description is something I really struggle with, but I think I've really matured in that aspect (HPFF is a great place to improve oueselves). Anyway, thank you so much! It's such a huge compliment for me, especially coming from someone as talented as you are!

Thanks to you for swapping and for this absolutely amazing review!!! It really made my day!!!

All my love,
Chiara


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Review #8, by notreallyblonde44 The memories in your biscuits

11th November 2015:
Hey Chiara! Here for our review swap, and how can I resist a one-shot dedicated to my two favorite characters??? So excited :) Though I’m afraid of where this dark turn is going, yikes!

This was an interesting, if not a bit scattered take on some events in McGonagall’s life. I found these elements added some new depths to her character, like her struggles in becoming a Professor and her interest in baking biscuits (thanks to Edda, which was a sweet twist –seeing what I did there :P ). I’m not sure I think McGonagall is a loner baker type, but anything’s likely in fanfic land. It’s sad to think she can’t perform a corporeal patronus anymore and I liked the added scene of her experiences in the first war. Though I’m pretty sure Voldemort killed Dorcas specifically.

Either way it gave her some new depths and it’s quite a different portrayal of Minnie. And then Severus saves her?? It seems like that came out of nowhere though the rest jumped around a bit in the timeline and I didn’t realize we hopped back in time (which I’m never seen that done with the second person, so I think that’s the struggle here) which confused me midway through too.

‘Black had fooled him, had fooled you, had fooled everyone.’ NOO not Sirius, sniff sniff, he’s good Minnie, he’s good!

A few bits of CC:
1. They would likely say professors, not teachers. And I’m not sure they would say something so slangy as “wanna”, but there are nitpicky things.
2. ‘"Good luck." you said with a last smile.’ – Either use a comma instead of that first period in quotation marks, or keep the period and capitalize you.
3. ‘milky-white cheeks suddenly turned cremisi’ – I feel dumb, but I have 0 clue what cremisi is lol sounds like a strange descriptor for someone’s skin. Also this is the third mention of his skin o.O

This definitely went through all the emotions, from happy, to stressed to sad, to all the things. Tugged at my heartstrings a bit, for some reason the houseelf and flashback to that time in Minnie’s life was my favorite scene. Best of luck in the challenge!

Ta for now,
Ellie

Author's Response: Hi, Ellie!
Thank you so much for swapping and for the lovely review! :)

Remus is my absolute favourite character, so I was incredibly thrilled when I received my prompt. I must say that this is not at all what I expected myself to write...

I'm glad you liked the elements from McGonagall's life. Oh, well... we really know McGonagall only as the strict Professor, but I wanted to give her a more human, fragile dimension. And I personally like the image of her baking alone.

Yes, you're absolutely right about Dorcas being killed by Voldemort in person. I realized it when it was too late, and I couldn't think of another character that would work as well there... so I just ignored that detail...

You're not the only one who found the switch from "present" to memories a bit confusing. Someone suggested me to italicize the memory scenes, I could try to do that... As for Snape... I needed someone to come to the rescue, and he was the best option, or at least so I felt. I wasn't expecting it either, to be true (I wasn't expecting half the things that happened in this story. It just sort of wrote itself...)

Oh, I know... Sirius... :( But we know that's what everyone thought at the time...

Thanks for the CCs, I'll keep those in mind. As for "cremisi"... That's "crimson" in Italian... For some reason I was convinced it was international! :P

I'm glad you felt all those emotions. :) And Edda's scene is my favourite too! ;)

Thank you so much again for the amazing review! (By the way, what do you mean with "ta for now"? I always have a bit of trouble with acronyms...)

Much love!
Chiara


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Review #9, by princesslily_36 The memories in your biscuits

31st October 2015:
Chiara!!

I was really intriged by the prompt and decided to log in, especially since Remus is your favorite Marauder, I really wanted to know how you pictured him. I wish we could have seen more of him though!

Ooh 2nd person writing! You've done it so tastefully. I've read a whole bunch of 2nd person which is just so weird and sloppily done. This way, I almost felt like I was looking out of McGonagall's head (probably how Harry felt when he was seeing Voldemort's memorites lol!)

Coming to Remus - I love that even as a teenager you showed him bitter and resentful of his condition, while being realistic about it (even to the point of pessimism). I'm falling more an dmore in love with him as I explore him through my writings, and yours too now :D

McGonagall baking and doing something so, motherly, seemed OOC to me, but the way you wrote it flowed really well. Especially linking with her flashback made more sense. My heart broke when she (like everyone else) assumed Sirius to be the traitor *sniff*.

I simply loved your passage about the Dementor. It was really unexpected because I just expected a fluffy ending. But the transition was superbly done. It was the passage with the dementor that set the appropriate mood. And your insights into younger McGonagall were interesting to read. The Edda story brought out her vulnerability, and her compassion towards other magical creatures. In the books we generally see a very guarded version of McGonagall, rarely displaying emotion and if she did it was mostly that of anger.

I thought Remus would be the one to save her, him and Patronuses and all. I was surprised to see Snape there.

Lovely job there! Looking forward to reading more Remus from you :D
Love,
Ysh

Author's Response: Hey, Ysh!
Oh, thank you! This surprise review made me so happy!!! :)

Ahahah! I was so thrilled when I got that prompt! And I really wanted to write something that focused on Remus!!! But my muse had other ideas... :P

Oh... He is so lovely...
I imagine him to be quite disillusioned. He is an intelligent boy, and I'm quite sure he has met a lot of prejudiced people, even at that age. Sure, the Marauders accepted him, but I believe he always thought they were an exception. I think he would be quite bitter about his condition (even if it makes me sad...)

Of course this isn't the Minerva McGonagall we're used to see, but we have never really see her when she's alone with herself. While we see that she is very strict with her students, we also know that she has a big heart and that she deeply loves them. I wanted to show a more private dimension of her character. It's a personal interpretation, of course, that can be shared or not. But verosimilar, I think.

Oh, I know... But I suppose Sirius' guiltiness was hardly questionable. Everyone knew James had asked him to be secret keeper, and no one could imagine the swap to Peter. McGonagall will find out the truth soon, anyway (if this can be of any consolation...)

The Dementor caught a few people by surprise, it seems... Curious, because for a story with this setting, it seemed to me the most natural choice for a dark turn. I'm really happy you found it powerful!!!

Oh, Edda's story is just adorable, isn't it? I'm so glad you enjoyed Minerva as a child!!!

Well, it couldn't be Remus because he wasn't there yet. I considered Dumbledore, but in the end I felt Snape worked better.

Oh, thank you so much again! I'm so happy you liked this story!!!

Much, much love!
Chiara


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Review #10, by carry on with your knitting The memories in your biscuits

27th October 2015:
Chiara!

I'm back ;D ahh I've missed you! :D
This is the one you suggested I should read right? I saw that it was Remus, so of course I just had to read it! :D Also Minnie is in there and she is a babe!

Okay so to start with I LOVED the relationship in the beginning with Remus and McGonagall, I thought it was so adorable how much she cared for him and wanted to help him! And the fact he wanted to be a teach was just so sweet! I imagine she might have influenced his choices in some way ;)

I really enjoyed the section with a younger McGonagall as well! It was sad that she was picked on when she was younger but the friendship with Edda was lovely to read! It reminded me of the Harry/Dobby friendship :)

I absolutely loved the part were she was making the biscuits by hand and reflecting on the events at the time, especially with Sirius, It's almost like she feels guilty for not realising he was 'evil'

Oh my goodness this oneshot took one of the most dramatic turns I have ever read! I was hooked in that last bit! What were the demotes doing in there?!
And her memory was just utterly heartbreaking!
The descriptions you used towards the end were brilliant like truly beautiful! I could picture everything so clearly! It was great! :D

Was it Snape that saved her?

I only noticed a few spelling mistakes, apart from that it was brilliant! I loved it!! :D

Love hugs and Remus Apreciation! :D

Katie :)

Author's Response: Hi Katie!
Oh, I'm so happy you stopped by here!!! :)

Yes, this is the one! ;) I'm so happy you liked it!!!

I believe Minerva loved her students a lot, especially the Marauders, and especially Remus! I'm glad you liked their relationship sweet! And I can totally imagine Remus wanting to be a teacher. He's just the best at it!!! And I'm sure Minerva did influence that choice! :)

Edda just sort of happened. I was thinking about where I wanted to go, and the idea of one of Hogwarts' elves teaching her to bake just formed in my head and I was like, yes! That's what happened!!! And I think their friendship is just adorable, too!

She does sort of feel guilty about it. She thinks that if someone had figured it out, James and Lily could be saved... a "pity" Sirius was never evil (anyway it's so terribly sad, isn't it?)

Dark turn challenge... so, you see, it had to turn dark... I'm glad you found the last bit so addicting, and that you liked the description! I know, Dorcas death killed me too...

Yes, it was Snape. At first, I thought about Dumbledore coming to the rescue, but then I felt Snape fit better (I know you don't like him much... but I don't think he is that bad...)

So glad you liked this so much!!!
Thank you so much for the amazing review!!!
Love, hugs and Remus appreciation!
Chiara


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Review #11, by CassiePotter The memories in your biscuits

22nd October 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our review swap!
I thought this was a really great one-shot! I haven't read many stories with McGonagall as the main character, so I was really intrigued by this when I saw it on your Author's Page. I was also curious how you were going to turn it dark when I saw what challenge it was for!
I loved what you did with this. You showed us McGonagall not only in the time JKR writes her, when Harry is at school, but also when she is younger. I really, really enjoyed what you did with her past. The way you used smaller scenes to make up her character as a whole was really great. We got to know her in pieces, and then put those together to form a whole person.
I loved the memory of McGonagall learning to make biscuits in the Hogwarts kitchens with Edda. It was so sweet, and really made me smile. You can tell that there was a really strong bond between them, which I thought was a great addition to this story.
I was not expecting that dementor to be there! How did it get into the castle? If I was in McGonagall's situation, I'd be terrified! And the memory she was forced to relive was so awful. Seeing a child being tortured, while his mother begs for his life, is heart-wrenching, but then if you add to that that McGonagall also lost a friend, it becomes even more awful.
Thankfully she was rescued in the end! By Snape, if I'm not mistaken?
This was a really nice look into McGonagall's character, and I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you for the review swap!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hi Cassie!
Thank you so much for the swap!

I'm so glad you liked what I did with McGonagall! :) She's surely not a character I would've ever expected me to write if it wasn't for the challenge, but I must admit that I'm happy with how this story turned out (and even more happy with how it's been received!)

It's great to know that you liked the memories, especially Edda's (that's my favourite, too! The idea formed in my head and I was just like, yes, that's what happened!!!)

Having to write a dark story set during PoA, Dementors were the first thing that came to my mind (plus, it worked with the memories theme). I think the school defences weren't at their top before the students' arrival? Or maybe the incident is the reason Dumbledore decided not to allow the Dementors inside? I would be absolutely terrified too!

I know... Dorcas' memory was really awful! :'(

Yes, Snape saved her! :) Thankfully!

Thank you so much for the lovely review! Reading it was a really great way to start the day!!! :D

Huge hug!
Chiara


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Review #12, by Gail Welin The memories in your biscuits

17th October 2015:
Hello Chiara! I'm here for our swap and it took me a short while to be able to choose a story to review - you offer so many wonderful options!
But, wow! I'm not disappointed. You took me places I never thought existed.

From the title and the "dark turn" challenge, I thought of something along the lines of poisoned cookies (don't judge me, I have a fever and my mind is weak ^^') which would have been quite entertaining yet also a bit disappointing because McGonagall would not fit in the "poison is a woman's weapon" category. If she were to murder someone, I figure she'd go rather "kick-butt femme fatale" (like she proved to be during the Battle). Anyway. ^^

You have shown a so very human side to McGonagall, even so very innocent in her childhood. It's very credible that she had issues with her schoolmates but also that she would not be the kind of person to treat house-elves like inferiors. Minerva can learn anything from anybody. ♥

The death of Dorcas. It felt like the Dementor was not making Minerva suffer enough in making her remember. Like the way she watched her die was shown too quickly, as if the everyday McGonagall (not the one in that context) was remembering on her own. I don't know if I'm explaining properly :/
The scene was powerful enough in itself, don't get me wrong ^^

Figures a teacher as amazing as McGonagall sees her students as her kids! And it's only human to have favourites (and she chose the right ones ^^)! I love the ways she sees them and how kind she is to Remus.
"He had been wrong" fits so perfectly as Minerva is not the kind of woman that takes being wronged nicely.

I have a little CC concerning a teeny detail; Minerva having tucked her wand behind her ear. Either her wand is rather small or her ear rather large. Either way, the mental picture was a bit off in that case.

I noticed you used the word 'cremisi' (italian?) when you most probably meant crimson?
I loved that you used the second person POV, it takes the reader to a much more personal approach.
I think the most heart-breaking scene was her crying in the dough. I just wanted to be there and hold her tight and cry with her.

A doe? Was that Snape?! (So cool!) Does she know?? And a gentle hand cups her face... I'm a big fan of the Snape/McGonagall impossibility and THIS JUST COMFIRMS THAT SNAGALL (still working on that name) EXISTS!

Wow.
So many feelings.

Thank you for writing this!! 10/10

*Gee.

Author's Response: Hey, Gee!
I've decided to answer this before going to bed.

Ahahah! Sounds like I surprised a few people with this story (which is funny in a way, because I couldn't think of anything different...) I agree with you, anyway. Can't see McGonagall as the poisoning type...

I'm glad you liked McGonagall and her fragility! Edda's story was really sweet, wasn't it? Of course she can learn anything from anyone! ;)

I suppose Dorcas' death did lack a bit of pathos... I couldn't write it any better... Maybe I'll get back to it and see if I can make it better... maybe... one day... when I'll have time... (I'm such a disaster...)

Remus... I love Remus... I simply completely adore Remus!!! And I'm sure Minerva would too! And yes, she is that kind of teacher! McGonagall is amazing! :)

Ahahah! I didn't realize it, but now that you're pointing it out, you're totally right! I liked the idea of the wand behind the ear, like you can do with a pencil (plus, it worked for the Dementor attack), but wands are definitely bigger than pencils... how didn't I realize it? (Now I'm rolling with laughter imagining McGonagall with Dumbo-style ears... Ahahah!)

Ops... Yes, cremisi is Italian... And yes, I did mean crimson... Dunno why my mind was convinced that cremisi was international... :P

I'm glad you liked the second person POV. It does help creating an emotional link to characters! And, yes... that bit was sad... :'(

Yes, it was Snape. No, she doesn't know. Ahahah! Even if I didn't mean it to be romantic in any way, I'm glad it gave you some inspiration! ;) I'll totally check your Snagall out when you'll have it up! Maybe I'll even become a shipper, who can say? :P

Thank you so much for the amazing review!
Much, much love!
Chiara


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Review #13, by wolfgirl17 The memories in your biscuits

14th October 2015:
Hey there,

Wolfgirl finally here checking out your entry for my Dark Turn Challenge. I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here, I've been such a slacker that it's not even funny.

Anyway, on to the review.

This was a really interesting fic and I really enjoyed reading. The prompt was one that I wasn't sure would be workable, but you've done a really great job with it.

There were a few spelling mistakes throughout that did make it a little clunky, and I'll admit I got a little lost towards the end due to the way the fic was jumping about with each scene, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Thanks so much for entering my challenge and for doing such a great job with this prompt. It's not at all what I was expecting it would be with such a prompt, so kudos for your originality.

Keep up the great story writing.

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi, Ellie! Welcome! :)
Oh, no worries about the lateness... I know RL can be crazy at times...

I'm very happy you found this interesting! I was so thrilled about the prompt, because I'm a great Remus' lover, but I must admit that when I started actually thinking about it, I was like... What now? Inspiration struck in the end, though. :)

My English is still not perfect, I know... I'm planning on asking someone to help me fix a bit of grammar issues here and in my other stories. I promised myself I'll start my editing phase before the end of the year... I'm sorry you found the jumps in time a bit confusing, too. Other reviewers mentioned it as well... I'll see if I can make it work better...

Thank you so much! This isn't at all what I was expecting to write either... :P But if I managed to surprise you, then I suppose it is a plus! :D

Thanks to you for hosting this brilliant challenge and for the lovely review!
Much love,
Chiara


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Review #14, by The Basilisk The memories in your biscuits

13th October 2015:
Greetingsss

I was passsing by and I couldn't help but notice your story. I had a feeling it was filled with a darnesss that I crave in light of the season. Dark storiesss are like a warm blanket to a basilisk like me and you surely did not disssapoint.

While dark times and darknesss pervades in many ways and formsss. There is none more volatile than that of past lived memoriesss. You captured the heart and mood of the Deputy Headmissstresss well.

Her conversation with Lupin while not dark was well thought out and nicely done. Ssstill the end was a nice twissst. To have a deamentor enter the castle was intriguing particularly the sssavior for our dear heroin. You provide a very nice glimpssse into a moment of time we know little about.

Author's Response: Welcome back!!!
I'm still astouded that you decided to stop by here again! Thank you so much! You're awesome!

Oh, that's good to hear! Dark is a genre that I don't usually write, so it's good to know that you weren't disappointed!

Memories can be very dark indeed. I'm glad you thought I captured the mood well!

I really love Remus' character, so I was very thrilled about the prompt I was assigned for the challenge. Knowing how self-doubting he is, I can totally imagine his orientative meeting going like that. I'm happy you enjoyed that particular memory!

Dementors seemed like the obvious choice for me. It's good to know that the twist worked! :) And I'm glad you found intriguing the part about her savior! ;)

Thanks so much for another amazing review!!!
Lots of love,
Chiara


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Review #15, by TreacleTart The memories in your biscuits

22nd September 2015:
Hey Chiara!

I'm here for the first of our review swaps! I love a good horror story, so I thought I'd check this one out.

The first thing that I found intriguing about this story was the title. I kept trying to figure out how Biscuits could turn out to be a bad thing and how they could tie in with memories. I wondered if perhaps the biscuits were poisoned or had a potion to cause the person eating them to relive bad memories. Obviously, my guesses were all incorrect.

Instead I got a really interesting story about Professor McGonagall and the way making cookies helps her relive her memories. I thought you handled it really well. I liked how all of the memories started out happy and slowly progressed to a sadder, darker tone. It really helped to build the suspense because the reader gets the chance to see little by little that something is wrong.

I found the memories of Remus to be so bittersweet. On one hand it was sad that he felt he had no job opportunities in his future because of lycanthropy, but on the other hand, I was happy that Professor McGonagall was there to encourage him not to give up. I was also happy to see that he did eventually make his way back to Hogwarts and attain his goal of becoming a teacher. I imagine that Professor McGonagall might've had something to do with that.

The memories of Sirius and Dorcas were sad too. At first when she started talking about a charismatic student who disappointed her, I thought she was talking about Tom Riddle, but it quickly became clear it was Sirius she was talking about. It's too bad she didn't know the truth. The scene with Dorcas was heartbreaking because I can't really imagine much worse than watching a loved one die. I did want to point out one thing with these two particular memory flashes. I thought the one with Sirius worked really well. Even though it was short, I had a clear sense of how she felt about the situation and how it tied into her memories of Lupin. The memory of Dorcas on the other hand felt a bit shallow to me. I would've liked to see a bit more emotion and focus on feeling so we could really understand just how much Dorcas' death affected McGonagall. I think also possibly having included a happy memory of Dorcas somewhere in the beginning would've helped the reader feel more for her death as well.

The ending was properly suspenseful. The feeling of a threat coming was really powerful. I sort of had a feeling that it was going to be a dementor because all of the bad memories started to surge forward. I was a bit surprised to see McGonagall so caught off guard. Usually in cannon, she's always on top of everything, so there is a definite contrast here, but I suppose since she was inside the Hogwarts kitchens she must've thought she was safe.

And then just as we think McGonagall is going to die, someone steps in and saves her. I'm going to hazard a guess that it's Snape since the patronus was a doe. I did find myself wondering if Minerva realized who it was. Her sort of confusion at the end makes me think not.

The only little bit of CC I would offer is that I noticed you using the word "cause" a handful of times in your sentences. To me, this reads very strangely because cause is sort of a very informal shortened version of because. In sentences of description or plot, I think because would sound better. Cause would be something that would work more in dialogue. It's minor and probably not something everyone would notice though.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this story and your take on the Dark Turn. You did a really good job of adding depth to one of my favorite characters and allowed us to see the bad memories that she kept locked away.

Great job on this and good luck in the challenge!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Dearest Kaitlin!
Wow... this is a looong review!!! :)

Ahahah! Oh, that's good, because I had some serious trouble finding a title... if it intrigued you and even misled you a little, that's great!!! :)

I'm happy you liked the memories and how they gradually turned darker! And that you feel I dealt with the theme well! Thank you so much!!!

Poor Remus... so unsure of himself... I do believe McGonagall would encourage him that way! She is the best teacher! And, yes... She probably has something to do with it... :)

Oh, Sirius... I know, it's too bad she didn't know the truth (she'll find out eventually, as we both know...) I think that a lot of people felt that way for him at the time. It is sad, though...

And Dorcas... that bit killed me,too, but it was the memory caused by the Dementor, so it had to be tragic. I understand what you mean, it felt a bit out of the blue, and maybe it lacked a bit of empathy... Maybe I'll get back and try to incorporate it better...

She was caught off guard. Can happen to everyone, don't you agree? She was in the environment she felt most secure in, and she was focused on her biscuits. She didn't expect an attack, and for once she wasn't quick enough to react.

Yes, it was Snape. And no, she never realized it was him. And that's sort of sad, too, because she never knew the better side of him.

Oh, I didn't realize that... I will surely fix it. Thanks for pointing that out! :)

Thank you so much, darling! I'm just so happy that you liked the story as a whole and that you felt I did McGonagall justice!!!

Thank you so much for the amazing review!
Much love,
Chiara


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Review #16, by marauder lady The memories in your biscuits

13th September 2015:
I love this!!! I love the way the theme runs through, so simple but so effective. I've never thought of McGonagall being so vulnerable but there would be no reason why she wouldn't be under the veneer!!

The style of the writing is fab too, so poignant heartfelt, it really drew me in!


Lovely, beautiful story!


Sophie xxx

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!
I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this story!

I've never written Minerva before (the only reason I dared attempt it is because the challenge forced me to...) but it was interesting to dig into her character.

All of us have their vulnerabilities, don't we? It's what makes us humans. Minerva is a strong woman, but she's seen so much darkness in her life...

I'm so glad you liked the writing style too! It's great to hear that people are intrigued by what I write!!!

Thank you so much for swapping and for the lovely review!

All my love,
Chiara


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Review #17, by alicia and anne The memories in your biscuits

10th September 2015:
Awww I really love that she thinks of all the students as her own children, they really are :D

And her favourite is Remus! :D This makes me happy! He deserves love.

I also absolutely love that she's taking some of Albus' mannerisms haha :P

I love that Remus wanted to be a teacher over everything, and I adore that McGonagall wants to help with that. :D She's the best!

AND SHE'S GOING TO MAKE HIM BISCUITS! THIS IS SO CUTE!! I JUST WANT TO HUG THEM!

AND THAT'S HOW SHE CAME TO MAKE BISCUITS! GAH!! THIS HAS JUST FILLED ME WITH SUCH HAPPINESS AND JOY AND I AM SO FLUFF FILLED RIGHT NOW! :D THIS IS BRILLIANT!

Oh no! And you've made it have sad bits and now I'm sad and the fluff has gone only to be left by devastation! I want to cry :(

I just felt so many emotions through this, and I don't know how I'm feeling right now, I was so happy and so full of fluff and joy and then that ending happened and now I am so sad and devastated. :(

Keep up your fantastically brilliant writing! You are so amazing! I definitely need to read more of your work

Author's Response: Dearest Tammi,
First of all, thank you so much for this gorgeous review!!! I'm really so, so glad I managed to convey so many emotions!!!

I can't really know, because I'm not a teacher myself, but I think that's how they would see their students, especially someone as amazing as Minerva McGonagall!!!

I so agree about Remus! He's just adorable! I love him so much!!!

Eheheh! Spending so much time with someone can do that! I'm glad you enjoyed that detail!!!

Remus is the perfect teacher! I do believe it would be his dream! And of course she would support him and try to help him! I agree, she's absolutely the best!!!

Actually, the biscuits are Ellie's idea... :P But yes, it is a cute thought of Minerva!!!

I honestly don't know how Edda's story came to my mind. All I know is that it did and I was just... Yes, that's how it happened! I'm so glad it made you so joyful!!! :)

Well... I apologize... Once again it's Ellie's fault... I mean, this was written for the dark turn challenge so, you know, it had to turn dark... :( I'm glad this gave you so many different feelings, though! It's a great achievement, I think...

Oh, wow! Thank you so much! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed so much this story!!! And if you ever decide to come back to visit, I'd be more than happy to host you!!!

Thank you so much again! You are so sweet! And so generous to leave so many free reviews so often to everyone!!!
Many hugs and much, much love!
Chiara


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Review #18, by merlins beard The memories in your biscuits

2nd September 2015:
Hey Chiara,
I know, I know, I should have been here ages ago for our swap. I'm so sorry... I'll be travelling this month, so there was so much to get done before leaving.

This is such a beautiful story. I love Minerva, always have and always will.
Your writing has improved so much over the last few months. I noticed that your grammar is better, there were no mistakes in irregular verbs, and only one or two very small tense mistakes. Your description has become so beautifully vivid! I can barely believe how much your writing developed (don't get me wrong, it was always very good, you know I love your stories!!)

I love the way this is centered around the cookies, but they are not all that is happening. You managed to convey so much feeling with just a few words, a couple of paragraphs almost moved me to tears. I especially loved how you described Sirius Black from Minerva's POV.

One thing I noticed, I don't even know if it's relevant... you say Minerva conjures the ingredients for the cookies. Yet, food is one of the 6 exceptions to Golplatos laws of elemental transfiguration. Food cannot be conjured, it has to be summoned. I hope that makes sense.

My phone is doing something really weird (I can still type but I can't see what I'm typing, so I'm going to stop now.

I loved this, and it definitely gets a favourite.

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hey Anja!
Oh, don't worry, it's ok... I must admit that I had kind of forgot you still owed me a review... But never mind, it's ok! ;)

Oh, I'm so glad you liked this! I love Minerva too (even if I don't think I'd ever written a story centered on her, if it wasn't for the challenge)!

That's great to hear! It is good to know that my grammar has improved, and my description as well (since those are the areas I've always had the most trouble with!!!)

Oh, wow! Thanks! It makes me so happy when I manage to convey emotions (sorry for making you cry)! I'm glad you liked Sirius through Minerva's perspective!!!

Oh... Yes, it does make sense... I didn't really stop to think about it... Obviously, since we are in the kitchen, all ingredients would already be there... Summoned might work better...

Pfft! Tecnology! Don't worry about it, this was a great review!!!

I'm so happy you're adding this to your favourites!!!

Thank you so much for the swap!!!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #19, by Unicorn_Charm The memories in your biscuits

31st August 2015:
Chiara! Here for our swap! ♥

Oh my goodness! That escalated quickly! I have all types of feels with this. Happy, then sad, then sadder, then scared, then yay. I'm in a glass cage of emotion! :p

This started out so sweet! Lupin would be starting his teaching job at Hogwarts and McGonagall wanted to do something nice and bake for him. And that flashback was sweet! Lupin was so unsure of himself, but McGonagall knew he'd be fine and encouraged him. I had all the warm and fuzzies!

Then we get into how she was bullied when she was young and found the kitchens and learned out to bake. And that was sad, but still kind of heartwarming. And then it got worse. :(

That flashback about Sirius and how could no one know what he would become. Bah! No one knew, because he didn't become a monster! It didn't happen McGonagall! Sirius was the same person you always knew! Don't think badly of him! *tears* Chiara! That scene with Sirius being sorted and running to James killed me. :'(

I loved your description of how baking was almost therapeutic and was a magic all its own. I like to bake, although I haven't in a while now, but totally got what she meant. There's something really soothing about it and then satisfying when you see people enjoy your finished product. A little bit of an aww moment after the sad. Seeing her feeling happy while watching the biscuits bake. And then the Dementors...

Oh. My. God. What was that?! My heart, Chiara! :'( I've never seen McGonagall/Dorcas before! But it was so sad, yet creepy because you knew it was the Dementors forcing her to relive this and then sad again because she was reliving it. But then your frightened again because she couldn't get to her wand in time and is inches away from the Kiss. Ugh! What an intense scene that was!!

And if my feels were feeling enough, here comes Snape to save the day?! All the feels. So many feels!

This was fantastic! You've definitely succeeded in the dark turn aspect of this, because it certainly went dark. Great job with that!! Really well done love! Thanks so much for the swap and good luck in the challenge!! ♥

Tons of love and hugs,
Meg

Author's Response: Hi, honey!
Thanks so much for the swap and the amazing review!!!

Oh, wow! I'm so glad this emotioned you so much!!!

I'm so happy you found the first part sweet! I really believe McGonagall would consider her students like children, and that she would bear a particular affection for Remus (because, honestly, how can anyone not love him?!?)

I'm not sure where that bit about Edda came from. It pretty much wrote itself, and I just felt that it had to be that way! I do agree that it is sad, but sweet at the same time.

It's so horrible that everyone believed Sirius a monster that he's never been... I'm sorry I made you cry... If it is of any consolation, that scene killed me too!

I don't bake much myself, but the few times I had it felt that way. When I wrote this, it was little after my birthday, and I'd bake myself a tart (I've recently discovered that I'm celiac, so it was simpler to make my own cake, rather than buying it). I tried to put in that section the feelings I proved myself while baking. I'm glad it worked out well!!!

I've never seen McGonagall/Dorcas either. That bit too just wrote itself, and I just believed it was what happened (does this make any sense at all?) It's great to know that you found the scene intense!!!

Yes, Snape rescued her. At first I thought it would be Dumbledore, but Snape just felt right.

I'm so glad you liked this! Thanks to you for the swap and the good luck!

All my love,
Chiara


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Review #20, by Gabriella Hunter The memories in your biscuits

28th August 2015:
HellO!

This is Gabbie from the forums stopping by with our swap! I'm sorry that it took a minute for me to get to this but I'm here now! :D

I don't think I've ever read a story about Professor McGonagall. I think that it's a bit of a shame when she's such a great character, she's a fierce, loyal woman and has seen a lot in her life. I really loved the fact that we see everything through her eyes and begin to understand who she is as a person. The span of time though was a bit confusing and I didn't quite get the flashbacks at first. I thought that they disrupted what you were trying to focus on but I eventually didn't notice. I like, though that she remembers various moments from her childhood up until the end. Sirius, James and Peter running through her mind shows that she cared about each of them in her own way and I thought it was a great way to say just how much she had really seen and lost during her lifetime. I thought the section with Remus was especially well written and I think that the moment when she learned to back was just wonderful. There was a lot of heart written in that portion of the story and I think that you painted her life very well.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey, Gabbie!
Oh, don't worry, you're not late at all!

Honestly, I don't think I'd ever dared writing a story centered on McGonagall if I wasn't assigned her character for the challenge. I do agree with you that she's an amazing character and that it would be awesome to her more in fics! And I'm very glad that you think I did her justice!!!

Erm... I know... You aren't the first to tell me the flashbacks were a bit confusing... When I typed the story I wrote them in italic and I suppose it worked better that way, but at the same time I feared it would be disturbing to see long paragraphs in italic so I just used asterisks. I probably should try to work out a better way to manage the flashbacks, or at least put an AN at the beginning that explains it... I'll think about it! :)

I really believe Minerva cared a lot about all her students, and I believe the Marauders would have a special place in her heart, being so brilliant and charismatic and having fought in the war with her. She did see and lose a lot!!!

Thank you so much for the amazing review!!!
Much love!
Chiara


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Review #21, by Frankie05 The memories in your biscuits

24th August 2015:
Hey Chiara,

I picked this story because it is the Dark Turn Challenge and I'm so curious to see where people go with their stories!

McGonagall is a character I adore, I just don't read much about. I seriously think your story was the second story I've read, but you did a great job! You set up the story nicely, And you wrote it in second person which I find extremely difficult so great job on that!

I will say I was a bit confused between what was present day and what was flashback. I mean I eventually got it, but perhaps if the flashbacks were italicized so that the reader could know that this isn't happening right now in the story, that McGonagall was remembeing it! :)

I like how she has so much respect for Remus and her heart is breaking over the remembrance of Sirius - it is very sad. She also remembers her friend who taught her how to make biscuits and that is so sweet. but whoosh - the dark turn is a dementor! How was this one allowed in the castle and it is terrifying. All she is doing is making biscuits!

her flashabck of Dorcas was so sad, obviously it was the worst time in her life, because it was the flashback she saw when the dementor attacked her! But in comes someone to the rescue. I thought itwas going to be Lupin, but I'm so glad it was Snape! (the doe lets us know it is snape?)

Anyway, this was great. There were a few typos but it wasn't too noticable, and the story was a good one! Good luck on your challenge!

Frankie

Author's Response: Hi Frankie!
Thank you so much for the review! It was such a sweet thing to do!!!

I'm so glad you thought I did McGonagall justice! Like you, I've never read much about her, and surely never wrote, so this was already challenging!

So glad you liked the second person, too! I just felt it was the right perspective to use here...

I wanted to italicized the memories, actually. I wrote it like that on my pc. BButit would mean having long paragraphs in italic and I wasn't sure it was ok... I always have some serious trouble with formatting...

It's great to hear that I managed to move you with the memories! Thank you so much!!!

Yes, it was a Dementor. I imagined it just slipped into the castle even without permission. Yes, I agree! Really terrifying!!!

I'm not sure where Dorcas' memory came from... It was very sad...

Yes, you're right. It was Snape. I'm really happy that you liked that choice!!!

Thank you so much again for the lovely review!!! You are way too sweet!!!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #22, by ScorpiusRose17 The memories in your biscuits

24th August 2015:
Hi!

This was really great! I loved how you characterized Professor McGonagall and you give such an honest in depth look into her. I also really enjoyed the memories. Of Remus, of Sirius being sorted, baking in the kitchen and of Dorcas. Her eyes have seen so much in all of those years that you really get a sense of who she is and who she's become.

I was definitely not expecting the dementors to attack so this was a nice dark turn!

Can I just say that your house elf was adorable! :)

Also, one super super small thing that I did notice was that lycanthropy was spelled wrong.

Overall, you did a wonderful job characterizing Professor McGonagall. I enjoyed her memories and getting to see her through various things that had happened in her life. Your descriptions were great and easy to follow and your House Elf Edda was adorable! The only thing I found was the one misspelling.

This was great and thanks for the review swap! Keep up the great writing!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you so much!!!
I was so unsure about this story, so I'm really happy to hear that you liked it!!!

I'm just so glad that you liked how I wrote McGonagall, and the memories too! This story kind of wrote itself, most of the memories just happened, without any planning...

Oh, good! So the Dementor attack worked well! So great to hear!!!

Oh, well... I just love house elves...

I'll check the misspelling, thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for the absolutely amazing review! Getting to your review immediatly!!!

So much love,
Chiara


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