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2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart The Gap Year

7th December 2015:
Hello Julie!

I'm finally here with a review for my Anywhere But There Challenge! I'm so sorry that it's taken so long, but I was tied up with NANO. Anyway, I'm here now and hoping to post results as soon as I possibly can. My goal is within the next week.

I'll be breaking this review down by the criteria that I used to judge the challenge so that you can see exactly how I arrived at the results.

Plot/Flow/Pace - I thought that this was a good start to the plot. You've given Scorpius a problem that's easy for people to relate to and I get the feeling that his sudden blurting out of his desire to go to Russia will get him into some shenanigans down the road. Everything seemed to flow smoothly for the most part and the only area that I had a tiny bit of an issues with pace was after he blurted out his choice to go to Russia. I would've liked to see a bit of the conversation with his parents instead of a brief summary.

Character Development - Your version of Scorpius seemed good to me. I like that he's a bit indecisive about what he wants to do and takes a bit longer to figure it out. I also enjoyed the brief reference to his fourth grade crush on Albus and the way he felt about inheriting his mum's eyes. Little details like that really made him come to life.

Cultural Info - Since this is the first chapter and half of it was spent in Britain, I didn't get to see a whole tone of Russian culture, but what I did see was lovely. I'm super excited that you included some references to food. I work as a chef, so I'm sort of food obsessed and I always think the best way to understand a culture is to look at what they eat. I also enjoyed the snippets of Russian conversation, although I don't speak Russian and have no idea how accurate it is.

Spelling/Typo/Grammar - This was pretty polished. I didn't notice much in the way of mistakes. Just a few small things.

But this time, he had anxious parents to deal with. Anxious parents who were anxiously waiting Ė thatís a lot of anxiousí in a short space. Maybe switch one or two of them for other words?

He wondered just old their hostess wasv- how old

All in all, I thought this was really well written and interesting. I really wish there was more of this story written because I'm so curious about who Baba Yaga is and what's going to happen next.

Good work and make sure to let me know when the rest is up because I'll certainly come back to read more.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review - I'm so sorry it's taken me awhile to get to it - school hit me really hard this year and so I had to take a break from HPFF until now (summer break!).

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Review #2, by May The Gap Year

21st August 2015:
Very interesting looking forward to next chapter x

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by! :)

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