Reading Reviews for So Cruel
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PaulaTheProkaryote Why Don't We Go Talk About It

3rd April 2016:
Hi again!

"She curled up outside in a hammock with a light blanket, a pile of books, and a bowl of snacks." Lucy knows how to live life. I want to be her right this very second.

I can't help but wonder why she hadn't mentioned Grinderford. I can't help but wonder her thought process on holding that bit back.

Knowing from the first chapter that she dated him, I'm very intrigued by the fact that she's started out by being weary of him. What must have happened for her to fall for him? Is he as seedy as I think he is? Then again, who doesn't like a bad boy? I'm hoping you get the next chapter up soon because I'm addicted to this story!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Yes, Lucy does indeed know how to live life, as well as how to spend her summer vacation. Although, to be honest, you probably won't want to be her as the novel progresses.

That will come out later.

It's a gradual process, and definitely not love at first sight. Their relationship is more hate-to-love, at least on Lucy's part.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote But She Had Somewhere To Go

3rd April 2016:
Hi again!

"And then I guess I'll have to go into Knockturn Alley to pick some up" Well he seems shady. So does Rosalyn. She's acting super suspicious.

"'What are you doing here?' he demanded, seeing her there." So, Lucy, if the first response of someone seeing you in a shop is to reach for their wand and demand an explanation for your presence, bad news. RUN AWAY. No matter how handsome. I hate people that donít take a hint.

Rosalyn sounds like major bad news and sheís definitely up to no good. I can almost feel a nasty confrontation will be needed soon. Maybe an intervention! Unlike Lucy Iíd probably pry for more details. I canít seem to leave well enough alone. I really love the way youíve written Lucy though and Iím quite enthralled in the mystery of it all!

Iím glad Lucy is going to talk to Lily not just for her sanity, but also because an auror (even in training),would probably be more likely to recognize major warning signs!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Both Rosalyn and Grinderford are up to shady things, which gets explained more in the next couple of chapters and then throughout the rest of the novel itself.

Lucy does need to run away from Grinderford but unfortunately for her she doesn't.

While Rosalyn is up to no good, she's been Lucy's friend since first year. It's hard for Lucy to comprehend and understand just how much Rosalyn has changed, so she stays with her.

Yes, Lucy at least has the wits about her to go talk to someone who's knowledgeable about this kind of stuff.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #3, by PaulaTheProkaryote Look Not in My Eyes

3rd April 2016:
Considering how much next-gen I read, I think it's odd that I don't think I've ever read a Lucy-centric story before.

"Second, thinking of him reminded her of how stupid she had been, how easily he had tricked her." Oh my god, how I've been there. A lot of times I'm mad at my exes because I should have known better! How did I miss all of the signs? What was wrong with me?

I would absolutely blame my friends if they knew something that would potentially end my relationship but didn't tell me. Even if they weren't sure if it was true. TELL ME. Lucy is a better person than me. Although, I've been on the flip side of the situation where a friend of mine's long term boyfriend was trying to be with me and I told her and instead of dropping him like she should have, it was me that was forgotten. I'm not the problem! They are engaged now and in five years when he's done it again, I imagine I'll hear from her again. And I'll be a good friend. /rant.

My assumption is that he cheated on her. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Whatever it was, you have to be honest for a relationship to work.

I love your characterization of Lucy. She's not a weak, timid little girl. She's fierce and smart and enviously rational.

I'm curious, seeing as she's now engaged, what brought him to mind? I hardly ever think about my exes these days. Then again it's been six years since my last one.

I like that you showed her emotions instead of spelling them out. Phrases like "Lucy snapped, brushing past him to go back up to the castle." and "he mumbled, hands at his sides, staring at the ground" indicate to me how the characters are feeling without you having to say Lucy was upset or he was basically a garbage bag tumbling in the wind.

Overall, I really enjoyed the first chapter and I can't wait to see what the next one brings!

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Review #4, by Frankie05 Look Not in My Eyes

31st August 2015:
I've never read a fic where Lucy was anything but a side character. And you have peaked my interests!

That is aiming good advice from Mother to daughter and I can only imagine what sort of mishap Molly got into with the Roderick guy!

I can understand that being the only one of my friends who doesn't have a boyfriend(or girlfriend) is in fact strenuous and a bit lonely. School and friends can only go so far but schoolwork doesn't keep you warm at night.

But then she is engaged. And that's nice but I feel there might be some lingering issues between her and whatever happened with Roderick. I mean you've seriously peaked my interests. He sounds like a player and that all her friends knew. But whatever happened- why wouldn't her friends tell her if they knew something.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter :) great job with your opening one!


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Review #5, by alicia and anne Look Not in My Eyes

30th August 2015:
Wooo! A Lucy story! This is exciting!

That is some good advice that Audrey has given Lucy, and pretty true as well. She seems like she's had a pretty good head on her shoulders, making sure to spend her time on her studies instead of pursuing any of her crushes.

I can understand her thinking of Roderick all the time when she shouldn't, it was her first love, and seems like a major part of her life. Although I'm not liking the sound of this tricking he done! He's going to be an idiot isn't he? I shall hate him already!

WHAT DID HE DO?! Did he cheat on her? I'm going to assume cheat, or it was a bet? Ahh I've got to know!

I hope that you continue this! I'm so intrigued now!

I just want to hurt him as well!

Keep up the fantastic work!

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Review #6, by Unicorn_Charm Look Not in My Eyes

21st August 2015:
Hey Olivia!

I'm intrigued. I definitely want to know what exactly happened with this Roderick. Not only that, but what is making her think of him again, with her being engaged and all. First love, I suppose? They never do quite leave you, no matter how much you'd like them to.

I like Lucy and I can very easily picture her being a Ravenclaw with a father like Percy. Love him or hate him, he did value knowledge. But she seems like she's not as cut throat as her father, at least not from what we see here. She must take after her mother a bit more. :)

I totally get the feeling of wanting a boyfriend just because it feels like you're the only one who is single out of your friends. That happened to me a few times when I was younger. Not so much that you're lonely, but you kind of feel left out. I got the impression that was what she meant when she was talking about her friends and their SO's.

I liked the opening of this chapter. You gave a nice taste of Lucy's personality, what the story will be about and you left us wanting to know more. Just enough info to pull you in and just enough left out that you want to read on.

If I were to suggest anything, I would say maybe just a little bit more discription. Like how Lucy was feeling and what was going through her mind. That's something that I still struggle with and have been trying to work on myself. :)

Overall I really liked this! I thought it was a great introduction and I would definitely like to continue when the next update is up! Thanks for the swap!

xoxo Meg

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Review #7, by DracoFerret11 Look Not in My Eyes

15th August 2015:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, here to review for you for the BvB! So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: I think I only saw one error! You wrote "was as anywhere near as important." I think that first "as" is unnecessary.

Plot: Okay! So this was a really great way to introduce the story! I was definitely reading wanting to know more! By the end I was like, "but wait...what did he do?!" So well done in grabbing readers' attention! I think your choice of Lucy as the main character is interesting. I don't read much Next Gen, but from what I've seen, she isn't a common choice for MC, so this is cool. I'm also fond of the fact that she has a friend who's a lesbian! Yay representation for LGBTQA people! :) Plot-wise, this is a good intro, and I think you've set yourself up well for the story.

Characterization: I think it's interesting that Lucy thinks back on her experience with Roderick and thinks she would have been better never dating him at all. I mean, I know I've had some awful boyfriends, but I've learned something from all of them, so I wouldn't TOTALLY want to change my experiences. So I think that's intriguing. What could he have done that would have made her feel that way? Hmmm.

Emotions: I think I would have liked to see more of exactly how Lucy is feeling. I get that she's mad at Roderick, but I thought I would also see some sadness or frustration, and those didn't come through as much. A breakup brings up all sorts of emotions. I would encourage you not to shy away from any of those.

Descriptions/Style: I think that this reads a lot like a prologue, so I didn't mind too much that there weren't a lot of details. In the rest of the story, though, don't forget about sensory things like how things look, sound, smell, feel, etc. :)

Overall, I think you set yourself up well. Not too much happens, but you have a foundation to build the rest of the story on. Good job.

--Emily || August BvB, Team Bronze

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Review #8, by UnluckyStar57 Look Not in My Eyes

14th August 2015:
HAI OLIVIA!! Here for our swap and the BvB Review Fest. ;)

OH MY GOODNESS WHAT EVEN IS THIS?! I'm SO MAD that I didn't know about this before, but now that I do, I'm going to pester you (politely) for updates. Because I'm sorry, this was TOO SHORT and I WISH I COULD READ MORE!

Haha, no, in all seriousness, this was the perfect length for a prologue-y thing, because you didn't go into much detail, but you did include the details that mattered. So basically all I know about Lucy Weasley right now is that she's a Ravenclaw who's had her heart broken by this Roderick fellow, but that's just enough to get the story going for right now.

Ooh, and I really love the themes you wrapped this prologue in like a too-fuzzy, too-warm blanket: the boyfriend theme. (That's why it's too fuzzy and too warm--it causes some degree of stress because it's a Dilemma that girls are often Expected to Do Something About.) I like that Audrey is actually a cool mom and she's giving Lucy advice about the Wrong Sort of Guy--not wrong because of what he looks like or what he does, but because he's a total phony. That's some sound advice, and I like that Lucy listens to it for the majority of her Hogwarts career.

But o, Love, that fickle fleeting thing! Whoever this Roderick Grinderford is, he must've been pretty convincing to pull one over on Lucy, but after all, all her friends were in relationships and yaddayaddaya...I know that feel, bro, but Grinderford?! The very name strikes disgust in my heart! I mean, whoever he marries SHOULD and MUST request that he take on his/her/their last name, because Grinderford is a terrible one!

So, what's the dealio with Lucy and Grinderford? Did he cheat? Is there something else going on? And how come Lucy has a fiance but she's still thinking thoughts about Grinder-boy? What is up with that? And her friends are NOT bros if they all knew about whatever it was that he was up to and """FORGOT""" to tell her! Ugh, I shouldn't get started on that...

Okay, so I really like the beginning of this story, even though I'm not at all fond of Grinder-boy. I have a sneaking suspicion that he's going to show up and cause problems in this story, and while I'm excited for that, I'm also excited to see who Lucy's brilliant fiance is.

I will be keeping an eye out for this story now that I know it exists, and if you update soon, I will be super excited and probably leave a long, annoying review about how excited I am. (You've been warned.)

Thanks for the swap, and for writing a cool story!


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Review #9, by moonbaby11 Look Not in My Eyes

13th August 2015:
Hey! I'm here for the BVB Review Battle.

Your summary is what initially drew me into this story. I'm really intrigued by this concept for a few reasons. I like that you started with the end, basically, showing us the demise of Lucy and Roderick's relationship and how she's much happier now with her new partner. Secondly, it seems that most stories revolve around a ship getting together and having a happy ending, whereas this story tells you straight from the beginning that Lucy isn't going to get that with Roderick. I'm really interested to see how this goes. Will we be introduced to her fiance along the way? Will that ship be silently building in the background while we follow what's happening with Lucy and Roderick? I'm actually really excited to see where you take this.

I can personally relate to Lucy as I think I've had similar things happen to me - looking back at guys that I had feelings for and realizing just how stupid I'd been. I think that's probably a somewhat universal feeling, so I think you'll be connecting with your readers in a great way because of that.

Like I said, I'm very interested in this story and I hope to see an update soon! I'll definitely be dropping back to read more.

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Review #10, by RavenclawFTW Look Not in My Eyes

12th August 2015:
Hey Olivia! I saw you started something new in the CR so I thought I'd check it out. And it counts for BvB!

I'm so intrigued by this first chapter (prologue?). I don't see too much about Lucy around here, so I'm excited to read a Lucy-centric fic. In this first chapter, I already feel like I've learned a lot about her, and she seems heavily influenced by her father, but not in an insufferable way. :P She seems smart, curious, and headstrong, and I'm itching to know what this Roderick guy has done to her! And for six months! Also, side note, the name Roderick Grinderford is epic. Seriously, I love it.

I also love the dramatic irony you've set up in this chapter. I'm guessing this story will be about her relationship with Roderick, but we already know it's not going to work out with him, and that Lucy will someday be engaged to somebody else! I'm excited to see where the story goes with that in mind.

Tiny typo I think I noticed: "she never ventured to hit on any of them or demonstrate her feelings in every way." --think you meant "any way"? Not a big deal or anything, just something I caught!

I can't wait to see where this story is going! Hope you update soon! :)


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