Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for A Box of Chocolates
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SaneSusie Four: In Which Lia Loses Her Mind

22nd August 2016:
Hello LooneyLizzie!

Iím back and sobbing that this is the last available chapter (youíre cruel, you know that?)

Well, I can't really blame Lia for reacting the way she did. That's a lot to deal with and she's facing her feelings head on. Not to mention her best friend was almost exposed to magic and kinda hates her at the moment. And is there anything worse than broken toes? Nope. I once broke my toes on a mop bucket. Long story. She might have anger issues. Fred is a pretty reliable judge of character anyway.

I think James Stupid Potter actually has a really nice ring to it. Sirius is atrocious.

I've said this before, but to me love potions could be just as bad as slipping something into drinks. Absolutely completely dangerous and not at all funny (even though this story was hilarious).

SHE IS TOO A PRINCESS. A WARRIOR PRINCESS OF RAGE AND DESTRUCTION.

Iím secretly chanting loudly PENNY AND LEO and banging on the table because her feelings must be super strong for him to be such a distraction even under a love potion this strong! Ugh, youíve done such an excellent job making me cheer for all of these characters. I want them happy. Everyone deserves to be happy!

I can't blame Penny's reaction. I'd probably have done the same. That much deception in a friendship combined with the manipulation of her feelings by the potion would be enough for anyone.

And how in the world can Lia be with James if he's the reason she's losing her best friend?

Even if I wonít be SaneSusie by the time you update the story, I canít wait for it! Itís going to be absolutely amazing! I canít wait to see where you take it! Will James repair their friendship? Will it be Lia? Penny? Leo? OR WILL THEY NEVER BE FRIENDS AGAIN? (I canít bear that thought so letís not make that happen, okay? Excellent).

Yours truly,
SaneSusie.

 Report Review

Review #2, by SaneSusie Three: In Which Fred Starts Meddling

21st August 2016:
Hello LooneyLizzie!

It is I, SaneSusie, your pass it along bff!

One thing I love about Leo is his loyalty. Even though it's his best friend, that's not going to stop him from feeling obligated to consider murdering James. He's a good brother!

I'm on Leo's side. Whatever the condition is, it can't be a good thing for anyone. He's totally meddling. I can't blame Leo for not exactly wanting his best friend chasing after his sister, no matter what Fred says. I mean he is a playboy, he did try to DRUG his sister, and he drugged the one girl that Leo seems to have feelings for! It definitely isn't piling up in poor James' favor.

(Also minor ek at Leo liking Penny)

Jokes on Fred though. I mean they already almost kissed. Sure this potential kiss will be way more humiliating with her brother and Fred watching but sh.

Fred came off at least a little bit creepy with the whole its just a request, kiss him and see how it goes thing. It is a weird obsession. LOOK SHE SAID KISSING HIM WOULDN'T BE REPULSIVE! Aw. I ship it so hard. Lia/James is my newest oc OTP.

Really, I think it was very sweet of James to not pressure Lia once he realized it was really freaking her out. That makes me love him even more.

AH! He's so precious. I'm so happy Fred pushed them. Even if she didn't immediately declare her undying love for him (really, did he expect her to?) I think he should be totally happy. I like that he's over analyzing the whole thing though.

Iíve already told you that you totally nail all of your characterization but I genuinely think that no one else could write a more perfect Fred than you. He loves mischief, but heís overall a good guy. The blackmail bit was just icing on the cake.

It's very scary to read this in Lia's point of view. The idea that one potion could do so much damage and change so much of her personality makes me feel like those potions should be completely illegal. Not just the slapping and the crying that is so out of character for her, but the idea that she feels so terrified about it.

I love Penny and Leo interactions too. (Do you notice how all of these reviews are just me telling you that I love literally everything? I do). His hugs are the best! And He's always cheering her up! Oh that's so absolutely beautiful. Through even such a powerful love potion she was sitting there being in love with Leo, fighting the potion. That must mean her feelings for him are pretty potent! Oh man, I forgot about the boyfriend. Heís clearly irrelevant all around.

NO! LEO YOU ARENíT OUT OF THE RUNNING JUST YET!

Iíd say something nice to finish off this review but I have to hurry up and read the next chapter because the suspense is killing me.


Yours truly,
SaneSusie.

 Report Review

Review #3, by SaneSusie Two: In Which James is an Idiot

21st August 2016:
HELLO AGAIN, M'DEAR LOONEYLIZZIE! I've missed you so! How's life? Good? Good.

The chapter title "In Which James is an Idiot" comes to very little surprise considering his behavior in the last chapter.

I really enjoyed this chapter in James' point of view. I like that he's immature enough to make light of the situation joking about charms skills when it came to the popcorn save, but that heís off the walls nervous too. With good reason too! Lia is a fierce character (which is always something I love). If Leo wasnít there who knows if James would have been able to leave the room alive!

THAT'S A TERRIBLE JOKE JAMES! Of course he shouldn't have given them to anyone at all! I wonder if Uncle George had suggested Lia because he knew that there was potential there?

It was also nice to tie in the canon bit of poor Ron's love potion incident. This one seems just as disastrous which makes me wonder how much of the story James had actually listened to!


I like that James likes Lia the way that he does and tries to get on her nerves because it reminds me of his namesake and their love story. The two are very reminiscent of one another. Sheís serious, though not nearly as serious as Lily. Heís goofy and impulsive. I love, love, love it.

Oh, poor James. The girl of his dreams accusing him of taking advantage of a girl! Even if she didn't really believe he did that. I laughed aloud at James smiling and being excited at her calling him a good guy. He's got it bad!

My favorite line of all my favorite lines of the chapter was ďIf you do, please avoid maiming me in the face. Itís my best feature.Ē James is so precious. Iím in love with him for Lia. Itís fine.

THEY ALMOST KISSED AND IíM SO EXCITED AND FLUFFY AND HAPPY FEELING!

Oh, poor, poor Penny and the betrayal! My heart aches for her potion induced heart ache! She was so innocent in it all! Just trying to enjoy a movie night with her friend!

Welp, Leo is going to murder James. Poor Leo being the last to know! Itís always the brothers, isnít it?

I loved the chapter even more than the last chapter and I canít wait for the next one at all! This is such a gem of a story!

 Report Review

Review #4, by SaneSusie One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

14th August 2016:
Hello LooneyLizzie! It is I, SaneSusie, your pass it along bff!

I love the reference at the beginning of the chapter ďKnock Knock Knock Penny!Ē That's one of my favorite shows so this story made me smile right from the beginning.

I love Lia Jordan. She's a brilliant original character that's ever so mischievous. She's very witty as well. I sense she could be great in Ravenclaw if she wanted to be! ĎDonít bring him back, since I donít want him around if I can help it.í Thatís probably my favorite line through the chapter. I can just envision these wonderful Jordan siblings quarreling and her explaining to him exactly why heís wrong. I love it. Iím curious who Mrs. Jordan is too even though she isnít mentioned. Do we know her? Will we know her?

Aha! So our beloved Penny must be a muggle since she just thinks Lia goes to a mysterious boarding school! I think it would be very difficult to keep a massive secret like that from your friend. LEO JORDAN & CO, YOU CANíT JUST APPARATE INTO A HOUSE WHEN A MUGGLE IS THERE! YOUíLL GIVE HER HALF A HEART ATTACK!

ďI started seriously considering how I would break up with my boyfriend if Potter was even a little bit interested in me.Ē Same, Penny, same. And heís a fictional character.

I love that youíve weaved all of this Marvel franchise talk in here as well because really who doesnít love the Avengers?

OH MY GOSH JAMES TOTALLY LOVE POTIONED HER! TELL ME HE LOVE POTIONED HER! That slimy little git. I bet it was aimed for Lia too! Those chocolates she ate off the floor!

BRB, gotta read the next chapter.

Yours truly,
SaneSusie.

 Report Review

Review #5, by alicia and anne Four: In Which Lia Loses Her Mind

23rd May 2016:
I've gone straight to the last chapter like you asked :D This is going to be fun, I'm going to see if I can guess what's happened in the previous ones! :D

Oh ouch! Lia does not seem happy! and I think that James is the reason, if he's not I'm blaming him anyway!

I agree, that is totally his middle name. It does have a much better ring to it.

:O HOW DARE HE! What a jerk!


Although I bet she loved that kiss :P

Oh yes, she definitely enjoyed it!

These two are just so adorable and I am loving their bickering! They can't deny their feelings. I see them!

Oh no! I don't see Penny meeting Fred ending very well at all. :S

Haha he wants to be punched in the face for being an idiot! :D

Poor Penny, so conflicted bless her! and oh no! That potion seems to have made everything worse! This can't be good at all!

I want them all to become friends again!! :( Is the next chapter going to have some happiness? And a possible reconcilliation between Penny and Lia? :D

Such a wonderful chapter 4! :D

Author's Response: Tammi!!

Hehehehe, hopefully you weren't too confused, just jumping in this story right in the middle of it!

Oh, Lia is never really happy with James in my little universe. :P It's probably appropriate to blame him for basically everything!

Isn't it? I like it much better that way!

Of course she loved the kiss! As stupid as James may be at times, even Lia has to admit that he's got game. :P

Hmmm... I really wanted that interaction between Penny and Fred to go a bit longer than it did, but I ended up cutting it short so that the chapter wasn't too long. Maybe I should've had that go longer...

Hehehe, I still find it extremely amusing that James said that!

Poor Penny indeed! I can't say whether or not there will be a reconciliation between Penny and Lia, but I can say that this isn't necessarily the worst part of this story. :(

Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Tammi! I hope you come back and read the rest of this story later!

You're amazing, my dear!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

21st May 2016:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here to review for the site-wide hot seat! Okay, so, confession: I am an absolute sucker for stories that involve a Muggle's discovery of the magical world. I LOVE them, so I was pretty excited to see that Penny was Lia's Muggle friend.

This is a short chapter, but I feel like the character basics are set up pretty well. Penny seems generally logical and comparatively calm, so this behavior is clearly a huge departure from the norm. Lia is a ball of energy and emotion--everything she feels, whether excitement or anger, is widely projected to all. I'm not *that* sure yet about Leo, one way or the other. And James is clearly a charmer. It's just a glimpse into all of their characters, but it's clear that you've given them all distinct personalities. You also create a fun, bouncy tone that makes me feel like absolutely anything could happen.

You had the emotion ramp up nicely, as well, after Penny eats the love-potion spiked chocolate, as it goes from her head, to her fight with Lia, to her all-out confession to James. The way you had it build up was good. However, she also clearly found James attractive before she ever ate the candy. Poor girl, this is going to be mortifying.


CC:

I didn't notice any grammatical errors, which, brava! Very clean writing.

ďAh! Thatís good to hear. I thought someone had been shot,Ē I replied, doing my best to pretend that I didnít know what was happening".
--Here, the 'doing my best to pretend that I didnít know what was happening,' implies that she *does* know. But, really, she has no clue what is going on. That's nitpicky, but it's the only thing that really pinged on my radar as I was reading through. It might be good to say, "doing my best to pretend I knew less than I did. Which wasn't hard, because I didn't really know anything. Just that something wasn't right here." Maybe just something to that effect?


We definitely launched straight into the hijinks, and I'm very interested to see how this all turns out. Especially for Penny. I mean, the poor girl's a Muggle! She hasn't any idea what's going on! I'm super curious how this is going to work out. James (I'm assuming it's James), you are in So. Much. Trouble.

--Penny (well, the other one ;) )

Author's Response: Penny (the obviously cooler one)!!

Oh yeah, stories about muggles in the wizarding world are definitely a guilty pleasure of mine as well! :D

Ah, thank you! Managing to write all of these characters in a distinct way was something that I definitely struggled with when I started out. But you're definitely right about Penny, Lia and James' personalities! Leo is a little bit of a wild card though, and even though I'm working on the last chapter of this story now, I still struggle with his characterization. :D

Poor Penny indeed. I can say that this story definitely doesn't end well for her.

Ah! Thanks for that CC! I'll definitely go back and edit that the next time I update this story. You've got a great eye when it comes to spotting things that could be phrased a bit better. And this isn't the first time you've helped me with my stories... maybe I should ask you to beta-read for me more often... ;)

Oh yes... James is going to be in a LOT of trouble!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Penny!! You're wonderful!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #7, by krazyboutharryginny One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

3rd April 2016:
Hiya Lizzie! I promised free reviews - sorry it took me a little longer than I expected to get here, but here I am!

Ohhh... I think I know what's going on here. Oh dear! What a mess. I think I'm going to have to read chapter 2 right now and see what happens next tbh :P

So I don't think I've ever read a story from the point of view of a Muggle best friend before. Which isn't necessarily to say that no others exist, just that it's a new thing for me. And I really liked it! I think it definitely provides a really intriguing new angle :)

You already know how much I love Lia, so I don't need to say much about that. But I also really like Penny - she seems like a very good match for Lia, friendship-wise, although we only really see her properly for half of this, as after that she's... uhm. under the influence.

I'm really curious to see where this will go. I'm really just assuming that Penny's under the influence of a love potion, but if I'm right, I wonder whose chocolates those were that contained it and why they had them... Love potions are really horrible, in my opinion, so I wonder what will happen in terms of reactions from whichever two the chocolates didn't belong to (did that make sense?).

Anyways, this is wonderful, Lizzie! It's been way too long since I read something of yours. As usual, your dialogue is witty and entertaining, and your word choice is snappy. Your writing always has such a unique, fun tone!

I'll be back for chapter 2 sometime, hopefully really soon!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Kayla!!

Oh, boy, this story is one giant mess that only gets messier as things go on! Trust me, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Hopefully you'll still like this story (and me!) after you read the next chapter!

I'm really glad you liked this so far, though!

There really aren't that many stories written from a Muggle POV, period, but I guess that comes with it all being HP related and all. I think that's why I was so interested in writing this story!

Lia! I'm so glad you like Lia! She's one of my favorites too!

I'm so HAPPY to hear you like Penny too! She's certainly grown on me as I've written her, so I'm glad that comes across in the story!

Yeah, that did make sense, and you're right in that love potions aren't a good thing, at all. So, it's needless to say that the reactions to this aren't going to be positive.
(Oops! Spoilers!)

Aw, thank you! I'm so glad that you liked this story, and THANK YOU for leaving such a lovely review! It really means a lot!
Lizzie

P.S. Sorry if this response is a little weird. It's super late and my brain is fuzzy and I'm on my phone. XD


 Report Review

Review #8, by PaulaTheProkaryote One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

3rd April 2016:
ALL OF THE AMAZING REFERENCES! Oh, I loved loved loved this chapter!

This is another story that has been on my reading list. I originally picked it out when I was lurking in your banner request over on tda!

"Why couldn't I use the bathroom in peace?" I say this literally every day. No one ever needs me until I'm in the bathroom.

I can't even imagine how hard it would be to have a muggle friend and to have to balance the international statute of secrecy. I can barely keep a minor secret, no way something so big.

I happen to think that their movie choice was a solid one. No one can ever be disappointed!

A hot mad scientist! I've yet to see one in my department, but if so, I'll accuse them of being Harry Potter's eldest child.

NO! Don't eat the chocolates! She's clearly never heard about Romilda Vane or she'd be more cautious!

Really, that stuff should 100% be illegal. Look at how much it messed her up? No one should have that kind of power over another person!

Now I have to also read your other story and finish these chapters (Pinky promise I'll review...probably...at some point).

"Did you know that leaving reviews increases your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse?" I'd like to see the statistical analysis on this, but it sounds accurate.

Author's Response: Hey Paula!

GAH!! THANK YOU! I'm so glad you liked all the references! I kinda load all of my stories with references to things for some bizarre reason. :P

Oh, really? That kind of makes me giggle, 'cause I've actually added a few of YOUR stories to my reading list because I was creeping on TDA!

I say that all the time, too! I work with kids, and there's just no privacy with kids!

Well, later on you'll learn how big of an impact keeping that secret makes on Lia, and Penny. :(

Exactly! How could you go wrong with the Avengers?!

Haha! Hey, if you meet a hot mad scientist, hook me up!

Well, as she's a muggle, of course she's never heard of Romilda Vane. :P But don't worry, Penny learns all about the terrors of love potions pretty quickly. It's quite sad, really.

It really should. I get a bit more into that in the later chapters, though. Unfortunately it means this story gets a bit more serious than I'd planned... But it was kind of necessary, given the nature of love potions and what they're capable of.

As soon as a zombie apocalypse actually happens, I'll definitely send you those stats! ;)
(It's better to be safe than sorry though, right?)

Can't wait to hear what you think of the later chapters! Thanks for reading and reviewing, Paula! You're amazing!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #9, by blackzero One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

1st April 2016:
Aha...love potion prqnk...interesting start.After quite sometime found some one with Lee.Jordan kids in their next gen fic

Author's Response: Hehehe, I'm glad you liked it!

Yeah, there aren't many stories about Lee Jordan or his kids, but I love writing them! Both Leo and Lia show up in some of my other stories if you'd like to see more of them! ;)

Thanks for R&R'ing!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #10, by blackzero Three: In Which Fred Starts Meddling

1st April 2016:
Nice story.Good humorous scenes. Waiting for next update

Author's Response: Oh! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

The next chapter should be up soon!!

Thanks for R&R'ing!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #11, by TreacleTart Two: In Which James is an Idiot

25th January 2016:
Hey Lizzie!

Back for another Gryffie Red vs. Gold Review! Go Team Red!

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I totally called it in my last review. James is into Lia. Lia is into James, but in denial. James teasing Lia like crazy and Lia blowing up like a volcano constantly gave it away.

The part where Penny storms in with the snacks to find James and Lia on the verge of kissing was a pretty amusing scene in my head. I could just see her standing there, bowl of popcorn turned over on top of her feet and kernels spread all across the floor, mouth open and gaping like a gold fish. Then her storming across the room and slapping Lia was quite amusing, particularly considering how much Lia likes to hit other people.

Fred's ultimatum sure created some interesting results. I mean I realize that they're in love with each other too, but I think forcing one person who is clearly stating that she doesn't want to kiss the other person to kiss is sort of creepy, borderline not respecting of boundaries.

I also found James' plan to drug Lia sort of creepy as well. I realize it's supposed to be an innocent prank, but I have a really hard time seeing anything that involves loss of control that way and that includes love potions. I mean imagine how horrifying that would be to be drugged, make a complete fool of yourself, at best drool all over someone you hate, at worst possibly have physical interactions with someone that you never wanted/without consent, and then wake up to find out what happened. In that context, I feel like that gets pretty creepy, quite quickly. Anyway, I realize I'm overthinking it and I doubt that the James' you've written would've taken physical advantage of Lia.

All in all, I'm amused with this story and would love to read some more. I know you're having the same dilemma as I am with a million WIPs to update, but don't forget to write more of this!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Yup! You're absolutely right! This story definitely features a lot of James/Lia fun in it, that's for sure!

Haha! I do find that scene a really amusing picture in my head. It kinda shows just how much the potion has affected her because she actually did something so out of character for her!

Ah, I've talked to you about this before, and you're absolutely right, which is why this chapter is drastically different from how it was when you first reviewed! Hopefully you'll like the changes a bit better!!

Thanks for another wonderful review, Kaitlin! I really appreciate it!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #12, by TreacleTart One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

25th January 2016:
Hello my dear Lizzie!

Back for another Gryffindor Review Battle Review! Go Team Red!

Normally, I try to start my reviews with something positive, but I've come across something in this story that I simply cannot overlook.

Chocolate + Raspberry Filling = bllleccchhh (worst flavor combo ever, followed only by chocolate and strawberry)

Sorry, you know I'm a bit food obsessed, so I just had to get that off my mind before I continued.

Anyway, on to the actual story.

I like the easy dynamic that you created between your characters. I feel like that's always tough to do when you've got a bunch of OC's, but you do it well. I felt like I knew who the characters were quite quickly and how they all functioned with each other.

As soon as Penny started eating the chocolates and obsessing about James, I had a feeling that she'd ingested love potion. My suspicions seemed to be confirmed by James' shady behavior and Penny's descent into madness.

The love/hate vibe between Lia and James is intriguing. I'm thinking that James has a thing for her since she's the only girl that doesn't seem to want him. I also think that maybe secretly she sort of likes him, but doesn't want to admit it because she doesn't want to be like everyone else...or she legitimately hates him.

Anyway, this was a good start to the story. I think you said this would be in a different POV in each chapter, so I'm curious to see who's next.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!!

Oh, gosh, you're not alone in thinking that. I actually HATE raspberry and chocolate together. I'm not even sure where the whole idea came from! It just hit me and I went with it, even though I can't stand raspberry and chocolate together. :P

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you like all the characters! I'll admit, I actually find it a lot easier to write OC's than to write canon characters. I'm jus weird like that. :)

I really tried to introduce the idea that she was given a love potion really slowly because I didn't want the shift in behavior to completely confuse the reader about her character, so I didn't really think about what it meant about the reveal of what was actually wrong with her! It wasn't until I started getting reviews that I realized it wasn't quite clear right away! Oops! Added bonus I guess.

Lia and James are definitely a thing. There's a reason why I love writing them so much!

Thanks for the wonderful review, Kaitlin! I really appreciate it!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #13, by nott theodore Two: In Which James is an Idiot

21st December 2015:
Hi Lizzie! I couldn't believe that I hadn't already made it to the second chapter of this story and now I'm really glad I read it because it's given me so many feels! Also, I hope you realise this means that I need an update for this very soon, too ;)

I've not had chance to see Lia and James in your other stories really yet, except for Lady Mondegreen, but I already love both of them. Seriously, in - what? - three chapters? - you have managed to create such vibrant characters here that I'm already falling in love with them. I can't decide if I want to be friends with them or whether that would just be far too dangerous (especially if these pranks are a regular thing... and the fights, too :P) but they're such fantastic characters and I certainly want to read more about them (hint hint).

I think you managed the switch to James's POV really well and it still flowed easily, which I don't think always happens when the narrator's perspective shifts between two chapters. It was great to read this chapter from James's perspective since we got to know him a lot better - the two chapters I have read about Lia so far are from her perspective so it's really interesting to see how James thinks and feels about her. I found it quite funny to see that James definitely had feelings for her and was trying to deny them, but wasn't doing such a good job of it as Lia.

It also really made me laugh when everyone James thought might help him out of it abandoned him and he had to get through it on his own :P Poor James!

I'm not entirely sure I agree with Fred's methods for getting Lia and James to kiss, but I have to say you wrote the scene well and I think his heart's in the right place. The kiss was really sweet and I think it took both of them by surprise - now I want to get to read more about both of them and see what happens next!

I'm glad that Penny managed to get out from the influence of the love potion though, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next - whether Lia and James will admit it, or if it'll just be everyone else that keeps informing them about their feelings for the other. This was a great chapter, Lizzie!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!

Oh! I'm sorry for the feels (not)! Don't worry, they only get worse from here on out. ;)

Hehehe, James and Lia are some of my FAVORITE characters to write at the moment, so I'm really glad you like them! Hmmm... I think I'd be friends with them... I'd just make sure to avoid them when they're fighting, that's all. :D

Don't worry, more is coming soon!

Why thank you! I was really worried about the shift in POV from chapter to chapter, so hopefully the other transitions I've added her and written later go over well too!

Ah, Fred's methods. Well, since you wrote this review, I've definitely changed how that all worked, so I hope you like the new version! I had a couple of people comment on it, which is what prompted the change.

Gah! Thank you so much for such a wonderful review, Sian!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #14, by Unwritten Curse Two: In Which James is an Idiot

5th December 2015:
I HATE YOU. And I love you. Simultaneously.

Okay, is Lia/James a thing in HIMYF? Because I am already craving more of their bickery yet adorable banter. They are so in love and it's painfully obvious. Poor Penny, though, to get caught between them like this. I know she doesn't actually love James but she did think he was attractive. I think they'll probably Obliviate her when all is said and done, though, so she may not even remember him anyway.

Do we get Lia's perspective next? Please oh please! I felt like her repeatedly asking "why Penny" betrayed her feelings. It 100% felt like jealousy, like she wanted James to say that he meant the chocolates for her.

Oooh, ot Leo could be next. I'm growing fond of him. He seems very calm and down-to-earth and I feel like his perspective would be comical amidst all the chaos.

Before I leave, I wanted to say thank you for entering this challenge. I enjoyed reading this and I'm also glad that I got the opportunity to read more of your writing, because I honestly have been meaning to. :)

--Gina

Author's Response: Gina!

HAHA! I love you too. ;)

Lia and James are DEFINITELY a thing in HIMYF. I can't get enough of these two, so I'm sure I'll be writing them for a long time yet!

Poor Penny indeed! It only gets worse from here on out, I'm afraid. :(

Lia's perspective does come up soon! Not next though, but soon!

Leo also gets a say! Although this story has changed a bit, so he may seem calm on the outside, but he certainly isn't on the inside!!

He's fun though.

Thank YOU for issuing such a wonderful challenge! I really enjoyed participating in it! And for placing this story! I'm so happy that you liked it!!

Thanks for your wonderful reviews!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #15, by Unwritten Curse One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

5th December 2015:
Lizzie! Hi hun. :) I'm finally here to leave you a review on your challenge entry. So sorry for the delay.

I haven't read HIMYF, but now I want to. If these are the same characters that populate that story, I think I have to read it. I've already fallen in love with them. In fact, I can't live without them. They're all I think about! (hahaha Love Potion jokes)

You wrote from the perspective of a Love Potion victim so well. That she's vaguely aware of how ridiculous she's acting as she's declaring her love to a boy she's just met makes this all the more humiliating for her. And as a reader, I loved having the gradual realization dawn on me. I think I realized it was Love Potion shortly after Penny declared her love. When she went from "I think I'm in love" to "I'm definitely in love."

Lia's reaction was probably the best. I can't help but think she likes James despite her protestations, simply because of her reaction. It seemed to hint at jealousy. ;) And James all pale and guilt-ridden. Oh what a comical scene.

Okay, off to the next chapter!

--Gina

Author's Response: Gina!!

Oh, HIMYF... That story is in need of a serious overhaul. As of right now the characterizations in that story are DRASTICALLY different from what they are in this story, so keep that in mind when you do read it! Hopefully I'll get to rewriting it sooner rather than later though.

Nice. Solid joke! :P

Aw, thanks! I really struggled with writing from Penny's POV because I was worried that the shift in behavior would be too drastic and come across as weird, so I'm really glad that you liked the way I wrote it! I wanted it to be a gradual thing because from Penny's POV, she has no idea what a love potion is!

Lia and James... Ah, what fun I have with them! I shan't say anymore, lest I spoil things!

Thanks so much for your wonderful review, Gina! And for placing this story in your challenge!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #16, by TidalDragon Two: In Which James is an Idiot

28th September 2015:
Guess who's back?

I have to say, I'm really enjoying this story so far. It's always interesting when the exchange introduces you to something cool that you would never have chosen on your own - somehow it never fails to do so for me.

ANYWAY, the way you shifted voices here was incredible and really underscored the thought you put into the characterizations. James (II) sounds just like you'd imagine based on his appearance in the epilogue and the chaos that ensues was fun to behold.

Part of that I think owes to my affection for Jily (which I once swore I would never use, but don't judge...it's just faster) - if that sounds weird, it's because I'm getting some serious love/hate Jily vibes from the James (II)-Lia dynamic, which while it's not exactly my head canon for them, I can totally appreciate more with different characters.

I thought you also did some nice foreshadowing looking back on last chapter, with Penny noticing the glances between James and Lia. Though it was James-centric (owing, doubtless, to the love potion), I couldn't help but feel then you were perhaps tucking something in that would prove telling and attempting to mask it through the potion's onset. Given the kiss and Fred's remark, I am left to wonder - perhaps the lady doth protest too much?

Excellent start Lizzie!

Author's Response: Kevin!!

I know! The exchange is pretty awesome, right?

Why thank you! I was a little bit worried about how the shift in POV would go, but I'm glad that you liked how it worked out!!

James is another one of those characters that I like to write a lot, so I've spent a LOT of time trying to figure out his character. He's definitely changed to how I originally thought he'd be, but I've found that I rather like him this way!

Ah, Jily. I'll be honest, the love-hate thing with Jily is actually a huge pet peeve of mine, which is kind of why I chose to write James (II) and Lia this way! I wanted to do that sort of relationship, but with different characters. :)

Oh, yes, the lady doth protest FAR too much. ;)

Thanks again for your wonderful reviews, Kevin! I really appreciate them!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #17, by TidalDragon One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

28th September 2015:
Howdy Lizzie! Finally here for the review exchange!

So for starters, my favorite thing about Next Gen (though I don't read much) is virtually complete and utter freedom you have with the characters. Here you took a bit of a cliche (the American) and turned her into a unique player in this interesting little world you've introduced us to. Though we don't get the full backstory (yet) I get the sense you have a carefully crafted explanation for her presence given how long she's been there and you dodged one of the typical issues by making her a muggle too.

Where was I? Oh, back to the characterizations. I like the way you developed both Lia and the three dynamics on show here. She seems like a spirited, independent individual who is fiercer in larger company, but not afraid to be silly when she's with someone she trusts. A cool cat.

My favorite part of the chapter though was the love-potion laced chocolate. You introduce it so innocently, and then build it up nicely once Penny takes the right bite. And the meta-ness of the box of chocolates was hilarious.

If I had a bit of CC, I'd say there are some points where it felt like you tried too hard to mix up word choice on the dialogue tags and slipped into some inadvertent looping of words in neighboring sentences, but it didn't really detract. Just food for thought.

On to Chapter 2!

Author's Response: Hey Kevin!

That's my favorite part of Next-Gen as well! I really like being able to create my own characters and put them in the world that JK created, rather than messing with her characters. I'm not sure why, but it's just one of those things that I prefer to do. :)

Why thank you! I'm really glad you like Penny! Her character backstory certainly gets explained in one of the later chapters, so you'll come to understand her a bit better later.

Lia is awesome, isn't she?! She's one of my favorite OC's to write! I've written her character in far too many stories lately, but I just can't help myself! She's so much fun to write!

Hehehe! I'm glad you like the meta-ness of the chocolates. I'm not sure where it came from, but it definitely ends up expanding to the other characters for some reason. I'll have to double check with my muse as to why that happened. :P

Oh! Thank you for that CC! I hadn't really thought about it before this! I'll have to go back and check on that.

Thank you so much for your wonderful review, Kevin!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #18, by Owlpost68 One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

12th August 2015:
I absolutely love this. I love chocolate and raspberry, Avengers and Big Bang Theory, which, by the way, the reference was hilarious :D Also, big Beatles Fan. Soo, basically, best late night review I've done in a long time. I saw in the common room you weren't having a great day and thought, everyone likes reviews, so, surprise! I can't wait to see what happens next :) Great job!

Author's Response: Heather!

Thanks so much for reading this!! The fact that you like ALL of those things only means one thing. We must be best friends now. :P

Also, thank you for reviewing when you did. It definitely made me smile and it was so thoughtful of you to review when I was having a bad day. I really needed that!

Thanks again for reviewing!!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #19, by nott theodore One: In Which Penny Eats Something Strange

12th August 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I've had this tab open for a couple of days now on my laptop because I saw it in the recently added pages (and then later saw your status) and have wanted to read and review it since then, but I've been really busy and there's so much on my list of stories to read!

Plus, this story is titled A Box of Chocolates - what chocolate lover can resist that, really? (Although this has made me want to eat chocolate and I have none right now :()

This story made me really want to get reading HIMYF again, because I've seen Lia Jordan appearing in two of your shorter stories now and I really want to find out more about her, particularly her and James and any potential romance that goes on there - all the more incentive for me to read it this month, hopefully!

I really liked Penny's character! I'm not sure if she appears in any of your other stories too, but I think you did a really great job of capturing her voice and making me interested and invested in a character that I've never seen before in just this one chapter of your story. I love her name, too - it's a great Beatles song, and I feel like that would have been a difficult opportunity to pass up if you were a fan :P

I really liked seeing Lia and Penny's friendship in this story. At the beginning of the story I didn't actually realise that Penny was a Muggle, until it became more obvious that she and Lia didn't go to school together and she'd met her at home. I think that was great, though, because it showed that a witch and Muggle can maintain a normal, natural friendship even with one of them going away to school. I think that happens far too infrequently in stories, to be honest.

And the magic gets introduced! It's really quite impressive that Lia and Penny have been friends all this time and Penny hasn't seemed to suspect anything about Lia being a witch; then her older brother comes along carelessly and ruins everything - or at least, almost does. They definitely should have thought to stop Penny from eavesdropping on their conversation earlier on, so when she returns to normal, I'll look forward to seeing how that turns out - what her reaction will be, and if she'll ever confront Lia about it!

Penny's reaction to James was really interesting and amusing to read about, especially given the way that it contrasted so sharply with Lia's reaction to his presence in the house. I'm really intrigued to see more of Lia and James together in the same story, actually.

You're really good at writing the dialogues and interactions between different characters, from all that I've seen of your writing so far. It flows so well and you really capture the different voices when different characters are speaking.

And oh no! The chocolates have a love potion in them?? Poor Penny, I really feel sorry for her here, when she has no idea what's happened - even less of an idea that it might happen than any of the others there - and she's acting crazily because of the love potion that she doesn't know about. James was really sweet to her though, when he realised that something was wrong (I'm really curious if he actually did keep shooting sweet looks at Lia throughout the film or if that was the potion making Penny imagine it and making her jealous) and I'm glad that the others were around to help.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter! I really hope that they manage to stop Penny being under the influence of the love potion and get to the bottom of everything!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!

Okay, I'll admit, I haven't wanted to respond to this review because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and I like rereading it. :D

A Box of Chocolates is quite an enticing name, isn't it? It kinda says it everything about the story... ;)

I'd love for you to read HIMYF!! Although it's going to get some massive rewrites this summer because some of the stuff happening in this story doesn't quite correlate with what's happening there. But Lia is still Lia, and her relationship with James is going to extend into that story more heavily than I'd planned before.

Penny doesn't appear in any of my other stories, actually! And I'm not sure if she will, given how this story will end (*spoilers!*).

I'm glad you like her so much! I'm really amazed at how quickly her character came together and developed. I've had a lot of fun writing her so far!

Yeah, I've hardly ever seen relationships, especially friendships, between muggles and wizards in stories! It's kind of surprising, considering how much fun it can be! There's a whole new dynamic there that is a lot of fun to explore, and I'm a pretty big fan of that. ;)

Part of the reason why I think they're able to have such a normal relationship is because Lia hides magic so successfully for so long -- Penny is completely oblivious -- and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up to you.

Either way, her reaction to magic is definitely a strong one.

Awe! Thank you! I really like writing dialogue. It's easily my favorite part of writing. And I've got to say, I love writing James and Lia and their arguments - and writing it from Penny's POV made it even better.

Poor Penny indeed! She's in for quite a mess after all of this! And it's only going to get more complicated! *grins devilishly*

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Sian! I love, love, LOVE, getting reviews from you!!
Lizzie


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login