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Reading Reviews for Four Walls
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Kristina1990 Autumn

21st April 2016:
I'm looking forward to the next piece falling into place :).

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Review #2, by velajune Spring

11th April 2016:
Hello!

I'm just going to dive right in. This is "delicious". Lol, I loved so many of the lines in this story and I'm such a sucker for a redeeming Draco! (Not sure if there's a term for that.)

I also loved your OC. She's pushy, but she knows where to stop. She knows herself well and conducts herself in a way that I really liked.

My most favorite line is "she continued to entertain his tequila flavoured, moonshine decisions" because it rolls off the tongue easily and it's unique in its description. And it continues the theme of drinking.

I can't wait to read more!
June

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Review #3, by Dojh167 Spring

8th April 2016:
Hello!

I heard whispers by some stranger in a mask that this was a story worth checking out, so here I am!

Draco is one of my favorite characters, though I tend to be hesitant to read fan fic about him because I don't want to see him poorly characterized. You, however, seem to be quite the master at writing Draco! While I can see from your AP that you write quite a bit of Dramione, I am quite liking your first attempt at Draco/Astoria!

Your prose is so drippingly beautiful - it feels like it melts in my mouth and makes me want to melt into it. This may sound strange, but it's meant as a good thing.

I am very interested in how you say this is the first time she *really* saw him. I wonder what it was that changed that made this time different than before. Had something changed in her or in him?

Also, it's late so this may just be my brain not catching up to what you've written, but when you say that she used to be secretly in love with him, I am not certain if the opening description of when she first really saw him happened when she first fell for him at Hogwarts, but after graduation in the time of the narrative. I think you mean the latter, which I find quite interesting. The setup of "seeing someone clearly for the first time" is often used when somebody first falls in love, but I find it even more interesting that she was already in love, didn't see him clearly until later, and that clarity made her more in love.

(I feel like I'm rambling a lot here.)

Silent drinking buddies, then? That seems to suit Draco's mood, and I suppose Astoria's taking what she can get.

Hehe, love all the sass with which she brings up the weather. I can get behind this girl. And apparently Draco can too, by the sound of that laugh ;)

The jigsaw metaphor is so perfect here. She knew him before he was shattered, and she knows where the pieces are supposed to go. I think it says a lot about her that she still loves him, despite the changes he has been through. At the same time though, I wonder if her attempts to but him back together will be fruitless. I don't think he can ever be who he was before. While I think that she understands that and loves him despite his changes, I am still going to hold my breath in hopes that this goes well.

I like how you extend the use of the central metaphor to describe "his puzzled glare"

It's good to see how things start out kind of tense and formal between them, but they ease up and start joking with each other by the end.

And the last line... ♥

I just caught a few small errors:
In "Your pathetic. Try again next time. Your should be you're
In "until he cracked about his parents trial and fathers imprisonment." parents and fathers should be parents' and father's

I am very interested in the structure of this piece. I like how you have titled the chapters before and during, though that does make me nervous that there will be an after and that things will end badly somehow. I am not sure how long you intend this piece to be, but I wonder if it will be four chapters to parallel four walls? If so, I hope you get the next/last chapter up soon! I'm definitely planning to come back to keep reading more.

Great job!

Sam.

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Review #4, by The Masked Marauder Autumn

6th April 2016:
It is I, the Masked Marauder!

In answer to your author's note - I am enjoying it very much!!

It was cool to get more of Draco's POV in this chapter. The way she charms and enchants him is so cute, and I love that he's attracted to her confidence. I think he could be written either way - he could be a sucker for a strong woman, or the type who seeks out women who are easy to manipulate. This is definitely the more likable version.

I felt so sorry for Astoria when Draco was acting like he didn't return her affection, especially because she keeps falling for him anyway. So of course, I was very please at the end that they went out and shad fun, and he kissed her on the cheek. Awww. ♥

I'll be watching for chapter 4!

Mischief managed!
~ Masked Marauder

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Review #5, by The Masked Marauder Summer

6th April 2016:
It is I, the Masked Marauder.

Awww, the scene at the end where they dance and he laughs is just wonderful. ♥ ♥
It's such a carefree, joyful moment for both of them, amidst a rather heavy attitude a lot of the time. That contrast was really nicely captured.

I wasn't 100% sure who Stony Face was. Goyle? That makes the most sense, but I found it weird that he would visit a Muggle pub. Anyway, i suppose it doesn't really matter. I liked that Malfoy fought him and did alright at it. The literal fight in him shows some metaphorical fight in him, and that makes me root for him alongside Astoria.

Sorry this review is a bit short - I'm anxious for chapter 3!

Mischief managed!
~ Masked Marauder

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Review #6, by The Masked Marauder Spring

6th April 2016:
It is I, the Masked Marauder.

This first chapter is tantalizing. You've crafted a mysterious tone that sucks me in. I like that you put a lot of trust in the reader. You let me unpuzzle some aspects of the story on my own - the narrator, the history between the characters, Draco's family stuff in your version of events. I think there's a tendency in fic to lay everything out, to guide the reader carefully through the story. You're letting the reader find their own way, and that makes it far more engrossing.

Draco is well captured here - I can tell you're familiar with writing him! He has this cool demeanor that flips unexpectedly to humor at times, and you've really captured that. I like that you've made Astoria reluctantly mesmerized, and I like what I've seen of her character. To be honest, i feel like I need just a little more - but that's not a bad thing because it has be eager to read chapter 2! I'm hoping to get some more information about prior interactions between them, as well.

This is a very strong start! You're awesome, Grace!

Mischief Managed
~Masked Marauder

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Review #7, by Emma Summer

23rd August 2015:
Maybe it's just me, but i REALLY like this story. I like the writing style, I like the character portrayal A LOT,and the character development in only two chapters is great, and I really wanna read more (hopefully see them actually kiss or more soon). Keep up the great work :)

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Review #8, by alicia and anne Spring

29th July 2015:
Poor Draco just seems so broken and damaged from the descriptions that you've used for him. He's changed quite a lot since his Hogwarts days, which is understandable.

I like that she keeps returning, it's obvious by that action and the way that she thinks about him that she really cares and worries. I think she'll be very good for him. They'll be good for each other.

Awww she made him laugh. See!! She is good for him! :D That absence for a while was good. And look at them! opening up to each other.

Oh no! How could you end it like that? Draco clearly likes her too and I need to know what happens next! This is such a brilliant idea, and I love the concept of it. :D

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Review #9, by bigblackdog Spring

27th July 2015:
i think you've done a wonderful job of portraying astoria. she comes across so cool in her dialog with draco and rather brave for approaching him in the first place but also clearly vulnerable.

your descriptions of their movements, their smiles and eyes, are very realistic and provide a nice backbone to the sparse dialog (which seems appropriate).

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Review #10, by StarlightAsteria Spring

27th July 2015:
Hi!

I'm a huge Draco/Astoria fan, so I was excited about this just by reading your summary. Gosh - where to start? There is so much I absolutely loved about this. (I apologise in advance if I get all rambly and all-over-the-place :p it tends to happen when I read stuff as brilliant as this)

I loved the lyrics at the beginning. I mean, it fits so well - do you get inspired by particular lyrics/quotes and then write or the other way around? I'm a bit of both, but interesting quotes are basically my life, so I suppose I'm curious about how other people think about them - if that makes any sense at all? But the main reason I loved it is because it's so ambiguous - the line 'I don't want to try too hard?' applies to both Astoria and Draco, which I thought was a really interesting take on the Astoria-fixes Draco after the war trope. It makes them equals of a sort, which I love - because it makes their whole dynamic more balanced, which can be tricky in a situation like Astoria's where her feelings start from a childhood crush, which the reader has no idea whether or not it was reciprocated. You've taken the cliche and made it so not a cliche, which I think is so fantastic.

I did catch one or two typos though - at the end of the third paragraph, it looks like the sentence has just been cut off, and your fourth paragraph is in a different tense to the rest, which I admit to being slightly confused by. But these are obviously really minor things which didn't affect my enjoyment of reading.

I do love your descriptions, though. It's the detail - the incredible amount of subtext you create through that. HOW!!! Especially that last sentence - it conveys so much about Astoria's emotional state.

Your take on both Draco and Astoria's character's is great. It's obvious that they've both suffered, and they have this chemistry that is definitely not one-sided (no matter how much Draco tries to convince himself otherwise). Draco still has his pride, and I really like how Astoria handled it - it's such a multifaceted reaction - she understands his pride, understands what it means to a man like him, so she doesn't push him too far, but she is frustrated and hurt at the same time, but she doesn't give up. I just love it all, okay? TOO GOOD FOR WORDS - this is my really bad explanation as to why I love Draco/Astoria as you've written them. It's realistic, is probably the simplest reason to explain why I like it so much. IT JUST WORKS REALLY WELL :D I love their banter as well, because it just says so much about the characters. It's funny and sad and so full of so many different feels at once - every word is there for a reason, every word makes me want to read on immediately.

I love it all, you've done a fantastic job with this!!!

Celi xxx

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