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Reading Reviews for Because In Reality
38 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Strawberries202 we are the poisoned youth.

2nd January 2017:
This is pretty good. I hope you update soon! And it looks like Bea is going somewhere with James! I mean he did say more than a couple words to her right?


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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.

23rd April 2016:
Hello again! I'm here for BvB and because the first chapter was so good!

I think Bea is obviously a lovely person. She's semi-terrified of Dominique but still delivers her textbook. That's nice person 101.

I don't like Nathanial Davies. Not in the slightest. He's creepy and bad news. "But I am not made for the dark. Darkness will consume me whole and make a monster out of me." That's a gorgeous line and she is too smart to be mixed up with that kind of nonsense. Right? Let's go with that.

I like how protective Ronnie is of Bea. I think she will be a good friend. Even when Bea fails to stand up properly for herself, she's got Ronnie to do it for her. She seems to really be looking out for her best interests.

Richard is such a sweet guy. Ronnie needs to seriously give him a shot. He's just so adorable.

"Assigned partners? That just made it a nightmare." I feel that on a personal level, Bea. I don't mind them if I can pick the people I want. If I'm going to do the entire project entirely by myself, it might as well be with people that I actually like.

Poor James. So many girls want to make him their next victim. If only we knew a nice, smart girl for him. *cough* YES AT BEING PARTNERS! WOOOHOOO!

Minor CC: This line was a little difficult to read" “So the(n?) what you can do is transfigure people into woodlice and it is useful for using on others who gets in your way." It's super minor but I reread it like four times to get my early morning head around it.

I found Freddie to be funny and a very realistic character. I quite like him. He'd be another potential Ronnie boy, I think. I actually really like that James wasn't immediately taken by her or charming or even really interesting. It makes him much more dynamic and interesting as a character. I think it also will make his character development all the more enticing. I think this was a wonderful chapter and I'm really excited to see what happens next with this project and the lives of my favorite characters.

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Review #3, by PaulaTheProkaryote a teenage vow in a parking lot.

23rd April 2016:
Hello, I'm here for BvB, but also because this story seems like it'll be fabulous!

I really like Bea. I think she's a very endearing character. I like the way she's a little self-conscious and timid, but you can read that she's also got enough backbone that she isn't the character to be messed with.

I love that James isn't the playboy obnoxious character that he is usually depicted as. That makes him so much more interesting. I think Ronnie has redeeming qualities, but I sort of want to smack her. So I think you did a great job with her. It seems like the more outgoing people always have quiet friends to keep them grounded.

My heart kinda hurts for sweet little Richard. I want him to find happiness, even if it's not with Ronnie. My hopes for the story is that he moves on, which causes Ronnie to realize what she is missing out on and has her chasing him. I think Bea and James are the kind of characters that belong together so I'm not cheering on Ronnie. She's going to get bored with him after she's done playing with him and I think that's cruel.

I liked the bit about Louis because it made Bea seem even more endearing. She's not interested in playing the games that most of the other girls are desperate for.

I think this story has loads of potential and I'm really excited to see where it goes. I think you've crafted up some really interesting multidimensional characters. I really like the way you've written the first chapter, it's a perfect combination of "show" and "tell" where I don't have to read between the lines for every little thing, but you haven't spelled it all out. Magnificent job!

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Review #4, by Kristina1990 we are the poisoned youth.

2nd April 2016:
Wow, somebody is in a bad mood. Constantly. To everybody. Wonder where that comes from. He seems to be quite a nut to crack.

Let's see where that leads to! :)

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Review #5, by Karianneeee we are the poisoned youth.

27th March 2016:
Please write more😩
I really like it👍

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Review #6, by happyanon we are the poisoned youth.

24th March 2016:
This is good. Ive read alot of HPFF its not hard to find a brooding james. But a Brooding James this far off in a chapter is interesting. I admit you've got me here. You definitely write this brooding thing well. You know I dont choose my authors. Whatever sounds good to me is good. As i was reading I thought "this reminds me a bit of borderline" like Nora being a Blonde Aaliyah. Both reserved Ravenclaws. So imagine my surprise when I check out who wrote this and it turns out to be you hahahaha quite a good shock. I gotta give it to you, im again slightly hooked to this. I wanna know why James is the way he is. What went down with Nora (gotta give it to her Bea sounds like a lil ms. Sunshine sorry lol ) what went down with Nora and Nathaniel. Richard reminds me of another of your characters from Borderline lol i like this. Its got me interested. So I hope you update this too. But if there's one thing I hope you make the explanations better? Does Nathaniel have a twin like with Adrian? I dunno they are a bit forgettable. Maybe get the flow better? I feel like its jumping places sometimes. But its good. Great Job!

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Review #7, by mrsdeanthomas421 am i more than you bargained for yet?

20th February 2016:
Your characterization here is fantastic. These are the best opening chapters I've read on here in a long time- keep up the good work! Can't wait to see an update xx

Author's Response: Thank you, that's a huge compliment! It's great that you like the characters and opening chapters always make me a little nervous so I'm really glad you like the story so far! Thank you for reading and reviewing and I hope to keep it up!


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Review #8, by RavenclawFTW am i more than you bargained for yet?

19th February 2016:
Heya, back for BvB! I'm really enjoying this story and I hope you update again soon! :)

First off, I think your characterization continues to be really strong here. Bea has been consistent throughout, but Ronnie has really, really come into her own, and the dynamics of their friendship are so great. I love how close they are but also how different they remain-- they work together without changing one another. You've demonstrated the depth of their relationship really clearly and it's always fun to read about that in fic!

James is such an intriguing figure and I can't wait for him to open up a bit more!! I love how straight you're playing the "dark and brooding" idea here. He hasn't shown himself to be secretly outgoing and charming, which is actually quite refreshing. This is a very different interpretation than I've seen before and I really appreciate that! Can't wait to see how he develops.

I loved the backstory on Louisa-- that was such a fun inversion on normal fic, especially because I feel like so much of this fic is Ravenclaw-centric. There are so many stories about girls changing to become obsessed with guys/romance/make up/etc., so having this character become so obsessed with studying was a fun change.

I love Ronnie's protectiveness at the end!! She and Bea really do balance each other out so well. I love to see that, as well as Louis getting a taste of what's coming to him!

Great job again and can't wait for the next update! :)


Author's Response: Ronnie's character takes time to show and I'm really happy that some readers (including your amazing self) has noticed that. Their friendship is one of my favorite aspects of this fic since I have such a joy writing it.

James really is how the rumors describe him: quiet, indifferent, and closed off. I'm so used to writing him like that I wonder how I'm going to write him when he starts to open up. And he really isn't secretly outgoing, he may talk to his family much more but he's not like Fred haha.

It is a bit of a Ravenclaw-centric fic since so many of the characters are from that house. Bea, Ronnie, the Davies, Richard, Louisa... and they all have different characteristics from the house. Louisa was an addition I thought would contrast Ronnie a lot and it's great to hear that you liked her story. She'll come up a few more times throughout the story.

Ronnie can be a mother hen when she wants to be, especially around Bea. And even though she was oblivious about Louis at first when she realized that he was teasing Bea, her opinion of him totally changed.

Thank you so much for stopping by again, J! And the next update is coming soon. ;)


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Review #9, by RavenclawFTW and in the end i'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend.

7th February 2016:
Hey Sama! Sorry I fell off the radar and didn't continue with this story, but I'm back for BvB!

The characters in this fic are so great and they really stand out to me. Ronnie is definitely growing on me as the story unfolds, and I can see a lot more about Bea and Ronnie's friendship. They help each other out and support one another, and I especially liked the way that Ronnie checked up on Bea at the end. It's details like that that really help demonstrate the depth of their understanding and friendship.

I can't imagine ever deciding to go running without my glasses, but maybe Bea has better eyesight than I do! I loved the ritual of the run and they way that these two address problems in their lives. They really don't mess around, which is refreshing. Even though Ronnie had seemed a bit more superficial, you can tell that their minds are working on the same wavelength. They also both read very vividly to me, and they seem very unique as characters. I'm excited to get to know them better!

I also love the way you've written Bea's thoughts, and the poetical nature of her observations mixed into her thoughts and opinions about what's happening. That's a hard balance but I think you've really nailed it!

The tension with the whole Davies backstory is killing me! I can't wait to learn more about the story behind all of that. :) I'm also excited to see more of the mysteriously blank James.

Great job with this chapter!


Author's Response: Hey, J! No worries, I'm just glad to hear from you again!

I'm glad to hear that Ronnie is growing on you! She's actually growing on me too. And yes they do have a very bonded friendship. They look out for each other and have each others back and it's great that it's coming out in the chapters. I was a little nervous of it not being noticed.

Bea's eyesight is based around mine haha. It's not good by any means, but she can still navigate pretty well and she likes the thought of letting her surroundings blur slightly around her so she doesn't have to focus on all the details so much. It calms her a bit. I like to describe Ronnie as having her head in the clouds but keeping her feet on the ground. I feel like if she didn't have that reality check built into her, Bea and her wouldn't be able to get along as much.

Her thoughts are written differently than how I usually write. Some of the writing style has been adapted to her thought process and it's amazing to hear that it is balanced. Her thoughts remind me of how quotes are written, some of the words switched around to make the group of words sound more meaningful.

Oh, Davies! He's sure to call up a storm. And the backstory will come out around the middle of the story so it shouldn't take too long! And of course there will be more of James!

Thank you so much J for taking the time to leave this! It's always lovely to read what you think of the story and characters!


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Review #10, by greenbirds am i more than you bargained for yet?

22nd January 2016:
(also btw i love love love fall out boy- like the ab/as album was my most played album on spotify 2015. and probably 2016. i LOVE it.)

i'm so, so excited by this! i've seen this story floating around before on the archives, and i've always wanted to read it- i'm so glad i did! you've got me totally hooked.

firstly, your characterisation is amazing. ronnie is fantastic, and i bet i'm not the first to comment on her. she's like the archetype fit for dominique in next/gen, except kudos for you for avoiding the whole 'best friend of dom/roxy/rose' cliche and actually, instead, creating a character that thrives on her own merit, rather than on what she can serve to the plot as a relative to the romantic wotter lead.

and bea! she is so, so great! my name's bea- beatrice, really- so i automatically felt comradeship with her. again, you've created such a three dimensional character, and her interactions with ronnie, louis and the davies boys really bring home just how layered a character she is, which makes it all the more exciting to read. you've encapsulated the teenage girl next door perfectly- i think we all see a little of ourselves in bea.

of course, albus is such an enigma, but i'm more excited to discover more about this davies character and his back story with bea. i also really enjoyed his twin's interaction with bea a chapter or two earlier; you're really setting up this story to be something really exciting, really thrilling.

i'm so excited to read more! please update soon ♥

Author's Response: Oh, fall out boy! I couldn't resist not using them for chapter titles and the lyrics fit in so much and I was like 'yes, yes I'm going to do it.' And trust me, I listened to that album a few too many times myself (especially twin skeletons).

I'm so glad you tried reading it as well! I love new readers and I do understand what you mean by seeing a story a couple times and then finally clicking on it.

Ronnie does get commented on a lot. I think there is a love/hate relationship between her and the readers haha. The whole story is centered around Bea and Ronnie (for some reason I always see their names mathching and as a pair, kind of like Bonnie and Clyde) so much that I never thought of Bea and some Wotter being the central besties. And though I love the cliche (especially if Dom/Roxy/Rose is amazing), I think it's more fun to write OCs from scratch. You have more freedom with them. And the romantic Wotter lead won't have to view them as whichever cousin's friend and instead sees them as his/her own person. Thank you so much for pointing that out! I never really thought about it in depth!

Yes, Bea has found a name twin! I always thought that Beatrice was such a cool name. It has this old mystery around it and it's so fun to say! It's always great to hear that people can relate to her. I feel like a lot of us are sort of like her in high school whether it's being shy, unsure of boys, keeping track of our glasses (me), or getting dragged along by our friends.

James is a mystery, more so because he's quiet than anything. And the Davies will definitely keep appearing throughout the story and whatever happened in the past will eventually come out.

Thank you so much for stopping by and reading and reviewing! I loved reading your thoughts and opinions on everything! And thank you for all the compliments; I'm really undeserving of them but they definitely made me smile!


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Review #11, by Stella am i more than you bargained for yet?

22nd January 2016:
Hello navyfail,

I really like your story so far and I will eagerly be checking for updates :)
What do you have in mind for the story? Will human transfiguration be more of a topic? (...animagi perhaps?)

Author's Response: hi, Stella! It's always great to hear from a reader I haven't hear from before! I'm glad to hear that you like the story and I'll try my best to not take too long to update!

As the story continues James will open up a bit more to Bea and obviously Ronnie will try to approach James. Some Quidditch related stuff will happen and transfiguration will also keep coming up. I don't think I'll broaden human transfiguration to animagi much. It may be something they study in class but they won't actually become animagi.

Thank you for reading and reviewing and I loved answering you questions!


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Review #12, by gryffindorlion15 am i more than you bargained for yet?

20th January 2016:
wonderful story! please update soon xx

Author's Response: aww, that's amazing to hear! and i'll try my best to update soon! thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this!


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Review #13, by TearsIMustConceal i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.

19th January 2016:
Hi Sama! Back for the BvB review battle!

So, I was super excited to carry on and I just couldn't resist when I saw you were the next person to review in the common room.

So anyway, onto the story.

Ooooh, now we're getting more back story on Bea. I was instantly intrigued by her encounter with Davies, who seems like a complete jerk, by the way. I really never pictured Bea to be with that type of guy so obviously there is a dark past there and i'm thinking that perhaps he wasn't always jerk-ish and that something went down between them? I really want to know more! I like the way she made a promise to herself not to get back with him – it was to herself, not to anyone else and I think that really shows her strong character!

I knew James had to appear sometime and he didn't disappoint! I knew you had made him a quiet character so their interaction wasn't suprising! It was obviously extremely awkward and I can definitely relate to Bea here – I've been in many situations in group projects where there is always that one person that you can barely get two words out of. It's super frustrating and I'm not surprised Bea practically ran out at the end of the lesson! I can't wait to see how you develop their relationship!

I loved Hailey! She represents that one person we all knew in high school, the ever popular queen bee who all the guys loved despite all the girls knowing exactly what she's like! I feel like she's the type who knows what she wants and I do love a good character that we can love to hate! Does she play more of a role in future chapters? I hope she does!

This was another amazing chapter Sama and I cannot wait to read more!


Author's Response: Davies is a character haha. But yes, he does seem like a jerk right now. And he is a bit of a jerk for most of the story but he has his reasons. There is a past and it will come out at one point but I can see why it's a bit hard to picture them together since he seems like darkness while she seems like light. I always like it when people promise things to themselves because it's an internal thing and that just makes it have more importance so that's why Bea made one to herself.

Their encounter was awkward! And even as I was writing the scene it felt awkward. but it's quite funny to see Bea deal with someone who is less willing to talk than her. The two of them will grow, it'll be awkward for a while but more words will be said (I'm looking at you James) and they'll get more comfortable around each other.

I never planned Hailey at all, she kind of just popped up when I was writing this chapter. But as I wrote her, it made sense. You can't have school without a queen bee and while Dominique is the Gryffindor one, Hailey is the equal and opposite Slytherin one. I haven't thought her character through much for the rest of the story, but who knows... she may pop up again a few more times.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you're liking the story and it's amazing that you have thoughts on so many of the characters!


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Review #14, by TearsIMustConceal a teenage vow in a parking lot.

19th January 2016:
Hi Sama, here for the BvB review battle!

I was immediately drawn to this story and I'm so glad I started!

Oh Ronnie! I loved her but she seems to be that one friend that although you couldn't live without her, you want to push her so she'll stop talking. She's the type you laugh along with but secretly apologise to everyone around you because what she's doing is crazy. I like that she's so honestly boy crazy and she doesn't care how crazy she is about it. Poor James, I don't think his quietness stands much of a chance against Ronnie and her ways! And I also feel that with Ronnie being the way she is, she brings Bea out of her shell a bit more, which is great!

Bea is one of those characters you immediately bond with and find similarities with. She's pretty much the polar opposite of Ronnie and it really works. She's quietly insecure and also quite shy, and I think we can all relate to not thinking too much of ourselves but at the same time, she's clever and has a sense of humour and I just love her. I think you've written her really well and I really enjoyed her narrative.

I love the idea of a quiet James – it's quite refreshing to see him in a different light. I like that, although we don't meet him here, I feel as though he'll have some real depth and I'm already shipping a cute Bea/James relationship – I feel as though they could be utterly perfect for each other!

I absolutely adored this and I cannot wait to read more!


Author's Response: Hi, Vicki!

You've described Ronnie perfectly! She is definitely someone Bea can't live without but at the same time Bea wants her to be quiet for a few seconds. And yes, she is boy crazy and it's so much fun writing her like that. It makes me wonder why I didn't write a character like her before. James will have a challenge when it comes to Ronnie, that's for sure. I mean how long can you stay silent when the person in front of you keeps talking and questioning you? He's bound to break haha. Ronnie, being very much extrovert, balances out Bea's introvert and keeps her from becoming too quiet and conserved.

Bea is very fun to write since her characteristics are very obvious: she's obviously shy, quiet, and keeps to herself, but very clever. I tend to write neutral characters so this is new, but I like writing someone whose personality is but more near some extremes. It's great to hear that she's easy to relate to and I'm super glad you like her!

James has a presence during all the story, even if he isn't in some of the chapters that much. He's quiet but he is still very dominant which is kind of a tricky thing. And yes he will start unraveling, but very slowly, seeing as he's quiet and all. Haha Bea/James will be a tough one but that's where the story is heading. And I'm really hoping they turn out as cute as you think they will!

Thank you so much for dropping by! I loved hearing your thoughts on the characters!


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Review #15, by jamessiriuspotterforever and in the end i'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend.

30th December 2015:
Awwh poor Ronnie. I don't want you to give up your dreams. They just seem too cute to let go ya know?
I like Adrian. Nice choice of name. Reminds me of Adrian ivashkov from the bloodlines.
Infuriating elder brother? Hmm exactly the kinda drama I like. Great chapter! Cant wait for the next.

Author's Response: I don't think Bea is too happy about her giving them up either since it's a huge sign that Ronnie's trying to let go the little bit of childishness she had been able to preserve in her Hogwarts year even when forced to grow up. And I totally agree that they are cute and wistful!

I actually named him while think about Adrian Ivashkov! I just really liked the name and thought it matched well with his brother's name (Nathaniel).

Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by! I really appreciate it! And I'm super happy to hear that you are liking it so far!


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Review #16, by jamessiriuspotterforever i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.

30th December 2015:
Why was he so bored? James as a cool headed mysterious guy is so darn difficult to figure out.
Anyway, I like Fred and I hope that Beatrice's opinion changes about him.
On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I was actually aiming at James being confusing and mysterious, someone even the readers can't figure out so I'm actually really glad to hear that. He'll become more easy to read later on thought, so not to worry. :)

Will Bea's opinion of Fred change? Hmm... we will have to see. Fred won't be a major part of the story till later but we will get to see him pretty often at one point. And it's great to hear that you like him! He's a bit underdeveloped at this point so I didn't think anyone would have an opinion of him.

Thank you for the short, sweet, honest review! I hope you continue to like the story!


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Review #17, by jamessiriuspotterforever a teenage vow in a parking lot.

30th December 2015:
I find James interesting. Duh! I always do. 😂
Besides he's written in a different approach compared to what I've always read about him. Far from cliché.
I like bea and the fact that she's not a squealing, cutesie kinda girl but who's to say that there shouldn't be that sort in this fanfic? So there comes Ronnie, the epitome of girlyness and somewhat bea's anchor from what I observe. She doesn't like to interact much which is obvious when Louis asks for her help on finding that book. I feel like he kinda insulted her in a way or that's the way she sees it.
Her strained relationship with her parents? There's definitely something there. I hope the why gets revealed soon enough.
Anyway, an awesome first chapter. Keep up the good work :)

Author's Response: It's hard to find James Sirius Potter not interesting tbh. And honestly, I always find him interesting as well so you're not along there!

It's always nice to hear that his character isn't clichéd, though I do tend to sometimes right cliché situations and never mind reading a well written one.

I actually really like how you describe Ronnie as Bea's anchor. I think that word fits perfectly with who they are for each other. And Bea is a bit far from cutesy and boy-obsessed and flirty. But again there is never really anything wrong with a character like that, which Ronnie happens to be.
Yes Louis did kind of insult her in a way, or tease her in a rude manner. And Bea really likes sticking to Ronnie and Richard. She's not very comfortable around anyone else, which you picked up on.

I love how you noticed her relationship with her parents since that is a big one. And the cause of it will be revealed later in the story.

Thank you for leaving such a sweet review! I've already read your reviews multiple times since they make me smile and give me motivation to keep writing so thank you so much!


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Review #18, by Katherine and in the end i'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend.

26th December 2015:
Oh how I wish you had added that last scene into this chapter.So good! I love your writing and how you write your characters, especially bea/nora. Your story has been added to my 'check every day for update list' :) Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Sorry, the last scene was getting a bit too long. But no worries it shouldn't take too long to get the next chapter up, maybe a few days! It's great to hear you like Bea! Having a likable main character always helps the story move along! Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #19, by overrated and in the end i'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend.

26th December 2015:
oh my god this is so good !!! i am so excited to this story , and can't wait for more :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so happy you're excited! I'm excited to keep writing as well! The next chapter won't take too long so it shouldn't be a long wait. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #20, by May and in the end i'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend.

25th December 2015:
Another good chapter would like a bit more of James in it but still a good read

Author's Response: There wasn't much James in this chapter. Sorry about that! But he will be in the next one! Thank you for dropping by again! I hope you continue to like the story!


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Review #21, by May i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.

25th December 2015:
I like this James this is a great story x

Author's Response: I'm glad you like James, even if he is a bit quiet. And it made my day that you like the story! Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #22, by AlexFan and in the end i'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend.

24th December 2015:
I really like Ronnie, she's got so many sides to her. She can be giggly and happy one moment, and then serious in the next. She's someone who's always happy but she knows when the situation calls to get serious, she's not one of those people who never take anything seriously. I like that about her. And she has such a good friendship with Bea too, the two of them know exactly what the other needs at a certain time, and I like how they always look out for each other. I think the two of them have a very healthy relationship together.

I love Bea so much, I see so much of myself in her, we both think the same way. She understands the hair situation so well, so many people have asked me why I always tie up my hair whenever I let it get long and Bea understands me. I understand why she prefers to stay out of matters involving romance and sticks to logic instead of emotions.

Not gonna lie, but Adrian seems like a really cool guy, he's definitely more likeable than his brother. Adrian doesn't seem like he's really up to anything harmful, or like a toxic person. With Nathaniel, you get the feeling that he's a toxic person to be with through Bea.

And I know that this is all about Ronnie thinking that James is the One, but I like how that kind of takes a back seat to everything else going on. It still drives the story forward, but at the same time it allows the relationships of others to shine through as well and allows the characters to develop.

Happy holidays and I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I always get so excited when someone likes Ronnie! She's a hard character to digest I think but I'm very fond of her. It may be due to the fact that she's nothing like me and that I usually don't write characters like her. I like how you noticed that she has multiple sides to her. I really wanted to make her more than the flirty, boy-obsessed friend you see so often. And I do think one of her best qualities is that she is willing to stand up for Bea and protects her.

I'm so glad that you relate to Bea! The hair situation actually comes from personal experience so I totally understand what you are talking about. It is so much harder to study with your hair always getting in your face.

Adrian... he's the yang to Nathaniel's yang in a way. And Adrian was good friends with Bea at one point so I think that's why he gave off a more positive vibe, but Bea does tend to stay away from him nowadays. Nathaniel on the other hand... we'll have to wait and see to learn more about him. ;)

The story is about Ronnie thinking James may be the one for her but you are right that it isn't the only plot in the story. Bea and Ronnie still have their lives to get on with and James isn't the only one consuming their attention. I'm happy to hear that you like that the story sometimes deviates away from the James situation!

Thank you so much Grace for taking the time to read this story and taking even more time to review every chapter! I really appreciate it! And reading the thoughts of readers always gives you another dimension of thinking and motivates you to keep going so really, thank you!


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Review #23, by AlexFan i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.

24th December 2015:
OOO Bea has some dark past secrets that she isn't talking about. That whole thing about being consumed with darkness hinted at something pretty serious and now I'm wondering what Bea went through. Everything about her is really quiet, from the way that she talks, to the way that she does things, it all screams quiet.

I relate to Bea on a very personal level as well, her love for Transfiguration is like my love for Chemistry. When she talked about how she was amazed but Transfiguration, it was literally a thought right out of my head, with the names of the subjects switched. I know where she comes from by always liking to be prepared, there's something very soothing about the fact that you're ready no matter what comes your way.

That conversation at the end with James was so awkward, I felt awkward just reading it. Those kinds of situations suck, you're trying so hard to keep a conversation going but the person you're talking to just won't contribute anything.

Hailey sounds really annoying, but at the same time I like her. I don't know why, but just the description of her makes her sound like someone who knows how to get what she wants. I've always admired that characteristic in fictional characters and people in general.

James's silence borders on rude to be honest, like there's a difference between being quiet and what he was doing with Bea. She's trying to make their group project work and he's offering two syllable answers. Did he smoke something before going to class?

Anyway, happy holidays!

Author's Response: She does have secrets. I wouldn't say they are dark since they aren't particularly scary but they are secrets. I love how you describe everything as so mysterious since that's what I was going for. :)

I'm glad to hear that you relate to Bea! And I love how you made the connection between Transfiguration and Chemistry! I never thought of it like that but I have to admit that Chemistry is a very interesting subject so I understand. And the being prepared comes from how uncomfortable I feel in school when I'm not. It just feels so much better when you are ready.

It was awkward, wasn't it? I really do wonder how Bea went through with it. Awkward conversations tend to stick with you for a while and you always end up looking back and thinking how could I have made that less awkward. And James really didn't help to keep the conversation going at all, did he? He honestly felt that there was any need for him to contribute and he himself wasn't really sure how to have the conversation come out natural. He isn't very socially savvy in general.

Hailey came out of nowhere but I feel like a character like her was needed since every school has students like her. And the fact that she's one of the only people Bea really doesn't like even without interacting with her much says something about Hailey and also shows that Bea, like everyone else, can dislike people. But you are right about the fact that she is a determined and ambitious person, hence why she's in Slytherin.

James does seem a bit rude, doesn't he? I don't think he means to come out that way but he does. And Bea doesn't know what to do about it. But he will slowly offer up more than two syllablles and as he does so, become less rude. Your comment about if he smoked something before he came to class made me laugh! But no, he didn't. He's just the brooding silent type.

Thank you for taking the time to read and review! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and am now determined to make you like James more! He's a sweetheart, I swear. Underneath all the exterior that is. Thank you again!


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Review #24, by AlexFan a teenage vow in a parking lot.

24th December 2015:
Merry Christmas! I'm a little late in leaving reviews but I'm trying to leave as many as I can in two days.

I haven't read a lot of your stories but I saw the banner and summary for this on your author page and I was already sold. This is the first time I've read a story in which James Sirius Potter is not loud and arrogant and to be honest I kind of like it. It's different from how he's portrayed in other fanfictions, it makes this story stand out in a way.

I really liked your main character as well, I like how she's not of those main protagonists who denies how attractive they are. She could've very easily gone down the route of "she's pretty but she doesn't know it," I like how she acknowledges that she's good-looking, it was a breath of fresh air to be honest with you.

I really loved this chapter and the interactions between Bea and Ronnie, the friendship between those two is really great, I loved their interactions. I was waiting for them to finally get to talk to James Potter but I see I'm going to have to keep reading to see when that happens (I was going to anyway).

And that scene with Louis at the very end where he asked Bea for help, I couldn't help but laugh because that seems like such a junior high school thing. I flashed back to when stuff like this happened when I was younger. I never really understood why we did those kinds of things to be honest with you. Bea knew what was happening to, she knew exactly what Louis was doing and was trying to avoid it (good job there Ronnie).

Anyway, Happy Holidays!

Author's Response: Hello!

I've actually had a lot of readers tell me that they clicked on my story just because of the banner which I have always found funny and very flattering. It's always great to hear that someone clicked on it because of the summary as well. The story actually came from the idea that what if the first Potter kid was more reserved and quiet while the second Potter kid was the more arrogant, popular one since most usually write them the other way around. I'm glad to hear that you like him portrayed that way. I actually enjoy writing him this way which I didn't expect.

Yay, someone likes Bea/Ronnie! Most only like Bea but I do feel they balance each other out and that both of their best qualities comes from being friends with each other. No I actually ended up not introducing James yet, but he is in the next chapter. I think that more came from me not ready to write him yet.

I really do wish those thing were junior high things and only junior high things, but I feel like that happens in high school as well. And Louis isn't very mature in this story so he would do that, not to mention that he's younger than both Bea and Ronnie as a fifth year. I never understood why those sort of things happened either. Anytime I was in a similar situation I always felt uncomfortable which is exactly how Bea felt. And Ronnie... well she never really caught on and seeing how Louis Weasley is Louis Weasley, she instantly believed he was a good person.

Thank you so much for stopping by Grace! It's great to hear your thoughts on this story since I've always thought you were great at writing Next Gen and you can flawlessly write rom/fluff/general/humor fics.And a very late Happy Holidays!


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Review #25, by TreacleTart i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.

17th August 2015:
Hi Sama!

I'm back for the second of our two review swaps!

I knew that James would be making an appearance soon! I figured since you'd spent almost the entire first chapter with Ronnie obsessing over him, he had to show up soon.

Nathaniel seems like a bit of a creep. I'm pretty vague on what exactly happened with them since you've only given us a quick glimpse into that situation, but I already dislike him. In fact, when he grabbed Bea and forced her to sit down, I almost wanted to punch him. And I'm pretty curious about what happened between the two of them that ended so ugly.

I was amused when Bea got paired with Freddie. He seemed a little spacey and I imagined her getting frustrated quite quickly with him.

Your characterization of Hailey was pretty amusing. I could imagine who she was quite vividly by the descriptions that you provided. The super pretty popular girl that is completely awful, but all the guys love regardless of her atrocious personality.

James comes across quite strange in this, but I suppose he's just a very private person. Maybe he'll open up a bit as Bea gets to know him.

I found a couple of typos.

I don't manage get out of his clutches - to get out of

others who gets in your way. – who get

All in all, this is another good chapter. I'm curious to see how you'll keep building the personalities of the different characters and to find out if James opens up at all.


Author's Response: How can I leave out James when all Bea and Ronnie have mentioned is him? Hopefully he met up with expectations, though he hasn't really done much yet.

Nathaniel wasn't supposed to come out as a creep but I'm sort of happy that you want to punch him. Is that bad? The boy really just needs a bit of the wake up call but he's not that bad, I promise. And we'll find out more about him through the story.

Bea and Freddie don't exactly work as a pair haha. She finds that he wants a bit too much attention but Fred is good at heart. But yes, he is spacey.

I love that you described Hailey's personality as atrocious! I really wanted to write the horrible popular girl since I haven't done that yet. And the fact that even Bea isn't fond of her says something since Bea tries really hard to not dislike anyone, though her judgments do get in the way,

He is private and can be easily misinterpreted I think due to his quietness. While Ronnie finds him 'endearing,' Bea finds him slightly frustrating.

Thank you for the sweet review and thank you for noticing the typos! I've had a great time reading your thoughts on the story, Kaitlin! Thanks again!


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