Reading Reviews for Upon the Edge
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CassiePotter Upon the Edge

25th August 2015:
Hi Laura! Happy birthday!
This was a wonderful story. I loved that you chose to write about a moment between Sirius and Lily, before they really know each other, so they're sort of friends, and he's just there to comfort her because he knows she needs it. I liked that he didn't come looking for her, but when he did find her, his still chose to go to her and make sure she was okay. I think that says a lot about him.
I felt so bad for Lily. Having to hear that your mother died while you're away at school must be the most awful thing. I can't even imagine... But I think Sirius being there helped her a little. I loved that he hugged her, too, and let go of any awkwardness that was there so he could really comfort her.
This story was sad, but it was also really beautiful. I really enjoyed it. Happy birthday!
Cassie :)

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Review #2, by DracoFerret11 Upon the Edge

13th August 2015:
Hello, Laura! This is DarkRose from the forums, here to review for you for the BvB! So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: The only error I noticed was when you wrote "because we used to be friend when we were younger" instead of "friends." But other than that, the story is really clean!

Plot: I really liked this story! I don't read a lot of Marauders things, but I thought this was really sweet. I like platonic stories, and I don't think there are a lot of them out there. So it was pleasant to read about a friendship, rather than a romance. I think the premise of the story is solid--we know that Lily's parents had died before Harry was born--and I think you executed this scenario well.

Characterization: I really like that you showed a softer side of Lily. I try to avoid reading about her yelling all the time. So it was nice to see a more vulnerable moment in her life and how she responded to her situation. I also think you did Sirius justice. We know he couldn't have just been some sort of player who didn't care about anyone--he had friends and was loyal and kind too--so it was nice to see that play out. Good job!

Emotions: You really gained a lot of empathy for Lily's situation in the way you wrote this. You did her grief justice, which isn't always an easy thing to do. But I felt that her sorrow was realistic, and I think you wrote it very well.

Descriptions/Style: I absolutely loved the way you wrote the details in this story, especially at the beginning. You description of the grounds at sunset was so lovely. I could see it all and feel the breeze, and it was really impressive. I think you did such a good job. Rarely do I see details written that well. Congratulations.

Overall, this was really great. I enjoyed reading it a lot, and I think you wrote it very well. Thanks for the good read!

--Emily || August BvB, Team Bronze

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Review #3, by casual_chaos Upon the Edge

4th August 2015:

I've been lurking around this site lately and even though I should be replying to my unanswered reviews, I couldn't resist taking a sneak peak at your AP - and you've got new stories up!!! I was so excited to see that! :D

Okay, friendship stories are one of my favourite things and I love Sirius, so that was already a good start.

I LOVED the descriptions of the sky and the rooftop and the wind and basically everything in this fic. You are so good at word and sentence flow, and it all sounds so natural and easy, it's honestly such a pleasure to read. If you wrote a story about the mechanics of 20th century tractors, it would probably sound just as poetic. So, yeah, I love your descriptions! :D

Lily and Sirius both acted their age, so thumbs up for that! It's very easy to write characters older than they are, and yours were so innocent and childlike, it was very fitting. :)

And this whole scene, that one unexpected moment of closeness between them, it was so sweet and honest. I think you captured Lily's sorrow and Sirius' awkwardness really well, without too much drama and big gestures. It was very toned down and convincing and I loved it.

Listen, I'm your fan girl, I think you got this by now. So please just keep doing what you're doing, it'll make me really happy. Don't be a slacker like me. :P I'm excited to read the rest of your stories/chapters.


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Review #4, by nott theodore Upon the Edge

20th July 2015:
Hi Laura, I'm here for our review swap!

I haven't read enough of your writing at all, but I've heard so much about it from other people (seriously, Kiana and Laura can't recommend your stories highly enough!) and I enjoyed reading this so much! I'm really glad I agreed to a swap now, because this was such a lovely story and I got to experience some of your beautiful writing!

I don't think I can write this review without mentioning your incredible descriptions. I absolutely adore stories that make full use of imagery, even in this sort of story, and there was so much packed in here, but without being too much, if that makes sense. It's kind of hard to say why I liked it so much, but I think it's your word choice - without going over-the-top with metaphors and just running on with the description, you paint such a vivid picture here with just a couple of words. There are some phrases - only a couple of words each - that just made me read back over them, because I was struck by how original and interesting they were as a description, and it's so great to read writing like this!

I loved the plot of this story, too! I don't remember having read many one-shots that are friendship-oriented, so that was really sweet to see, and I've definitely never read one about Lily and Sirius's friendship! The plot was just so sweet, even though it was really sad to see what had happened to Lily and her family. But in spite of the event that had caused Lily to come up to the tower and sit out on the roof, I loved the fact that you used something like that to inspire this story and show a moment of friendship - perhaps even the beginnings of a real friendship - between Lily and Sirius here. They'd clearly not talked much before at this point and since it's their fourth year, they don't become friendly straight away, but I'd love to think that from here on they had a sort of understanding between them, and that any irritation/wariness of the other was kind of erased by the fact that they shared this moment.

Your characterisation of both of them was so good! I really loved the fact that, even though they don't seem to get on that well in normal circumstances, both of them saw a different side to the other here.

Sirius is usually characterised as this permanently charming playboy who always knows what to say, but there was an element of him here that was vulnerable and unsure. He doesn't know what Lily's doing but he cares enough about her and is a good enough person to want to stop her from doing anything stupid, and then to stay and try his best to comfort her, even though it's difficult to find the right words and know what to say when someone's in a situation like this. I really liked the fact that you included his recklessness, but didn't make him into someone that was fearless - just someone who was impulsive and then only realised he should have thought things through afterwards. It added a really believable aspect to his character and felt like it fit so well with canon.

I just wanted to give Lily all the hugs here ♥ We never find out in canon how her parents died, but we do know they were both dead before Lily and James were killed, so it was really interesting to see an explanation of it here, worked into the story in a really seamless way. It's so sad that she was away from home when it happened and I can't help but think that might have been another aspect that added to the rift between her and Petunia. But I also loved the fact that Lily was so adventurous and kind - I think sometimes people cast James as the brave, Gryffindor one, but the fact she'll clamber up here to be alone shows that she's got courage and isn't afraid.

Ugh, I'm not going to go on a rant about Snape here (even though I could, very easily :P) but I feel so sorry for Lily that Severus had been there for her all through her mum's illness, and tried to comfort her, but when it came to the times that really mattered and when she needed him, it was more important for him to save face with his friends and ignore her. It might not be canon but it fits so seamlessly into canon that it's such a perfect mention - like it shows that he was already starting to make those choices before the Mudblood scene that we see happening in their fifth year.

I kind of don't know what else to say about this - I've rambled quite a bit and not said much that's very useful :P But I really, really loved reading it and it's such a perfect one-shot - it would fit so well into canon and it's so sweet to see this moment of friendship between Sirius and Lily. Thank you for the swap and giving me chance to read some of your lovely writing - I'll have to stop back for more soon! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #5, by bittersweetflames Upon the Edge

20th July 2015:
Hiya, Laura.:) Here for our swap!! Do you know how HAPPY I am that you have written something? :) I was all. OMG OMG OMG Laura when I saw that you posted for a swap since I am a HUGE fan of your writing and I was just happy to get an opportunity to read something of yours again! Anyway, this fic.. Normally I'd want to just say WOW here about twenty times but that's not really a profound way of writing a review, is it?
Yes, well, let's talk about them characters. I love that this was a friendship (or not even quite a friendship, really, when you think about it) between Sirius and Lily.

There's something that was brilliant and awkward about their interaction that I really enjoyed. Yes, it was obvious that they weren't friendly with one another and that's where the awkwardness would stem from but you also wrote it in a way that made it seem like, at that moment, nothing else could have happened for thinngs to have ended in a more satisfactory manner. That's the beauty of your writing! Yes, your master of the language and the descriptions of the surroundings and the atmosphere are masterful; really, I don't expect anything else from you. But what I meant was the scenario you crafted was just so perfect I would believe that it really DID happen!

I'm hoping that this would lead to them getting more friendly in the future but even if they don't, well, at least they'll have this moment and it's definitely something for them to value. :)

Again, thanks for the swap, honey lamb.


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Review #6, by Aphoride Upon the Edge

20th July 2015:
Hey Laura! :) Dropping by for our review swap - I love your writing so much, so there was no question of me trying to resist it, you know? :P Plus, I will admit that I always look at stories before swapping, and this looked so so good and so fascinating - friendship fics are rare, and I've never seen a Lily/Sirius friendship fic - so I really, really had to come by.

I love the way you've characterised both of them in this. Well, your characterisation is always amazing, as you know, but I really love how you've taken a pair of such big canon characters and moulded them your own way so much so that they're so intrinisically canon - this whole moment feels so canon in itself, it's incredible; like, if someone told me this was true, I would believe them.

Another thing I really love about this, is how simple it is as a story. Like, it's this beautiful little moment - almost like a temporary truce between two characters - where two people comfort and help each other, perhaps even without fully meaning to, because, at the end of the day, they don't really hate each other as much as they think they do. It's so great, because life is full of moments like that - where someone you don't like around their friends is surprisingly nice when they're on their own and so on - and it shows, to me at least, the depths of human understanding, and how strong that can be. (I hope that makes sense... :P)

I love, too, how your writing brings this gorgeous sense of reality to the scene - like I can imagine it, I can almost hear it and see it if I want to; it's so good and so true to life, almost, that it really could happen in RL, between two people. Your description in this was just amazing - that first line, with Sirius glimpsing Lily on the roof from far away, was just to die for. So, so beautiful! The sensory details in this were so gorgeous, too - I loved how there was this sort of constant underlying silence and slight awkwardness in your writing, from the two of them, and how even with the dialogue, your writing felt so quiet, as though they really were looking at the sky from on top of the roof - there was such a sense of loneliness and hurt and everything. It was just so clear throughout the piece it was amazing.

I'm really kinda lost for words, oops, I don't know what else to say about this... it's just such a perfect little one-shot, and such a great missing moment.

Thank you so so much for the swap - I'm so glad I got a chance to read this! :)

Aph xx

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