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9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore History Forgets

6th February 2016:
Ciao! Review four of six :D

This was a great story! I don't read a lot of Founders era stories, and usually they tend to be something that I come back to now and then, but I was really interested to see how you wrote this era because I love your writing and you always have such good ideas. I thought the way that you managed to combine this for all the different challenges was really great, and you managed to include that quote so seamlessly that I wouldn't have even noticed it if you hadn't mentioned it at the start.

I've read quite a few stories about Helena and the Bloody Baron, but I don't remember reading any that show this scene, and I really liked the way that you imagined it. I've always wondered how it would come to the point that the Baron actually killed Helena when he went after her because he loved her, and that clearly would not have been in the plan when he set out :P So it was really interesting to see your portrayal of it and I could definitely take this as head canon.

Your characterisation of the two characters was great - I think that was probably my favourite thing about this piece, actually. I thought you conveyed the love that the Baron felt for Helena very well from the start, and the fact that he wanted to find her and save her, as he thought. Then, when he realised that wasn't an option he still wanted to protect her and be with her, as her husband. Helena, on the other hand, was so independent and sharp and I really admired her spirit and defiance. It can't have been easy to go against her mother and everything she's known and escape alone, but she did it and was determined to maintain her independence once she was free. The dialogue between them showed their personalities but also how the scene between them escalated to the point that the Baron killed Helena.

The other part of this story that I really loved was the ending - those last few lines were so striking. They really had an impact on the reader in a way that stays with us. You managed to convey so much in just a couple of lines and I was really impressed with your word choice. The anaphora really built up the tragedy of their story and then that final, short sentence kind of hit us again, of how sad their story was and how much they ended up losing in that moment.

This was a great story, and I really enjoyed reading it - I'm really lucky that I'm getting the chance to catch up on some of your lovely writing!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!

There really aren't a whole lot of Founders era stories out there, huh? I kind of wish there were... Although at some point I will get around to posting the founders era story that I've been working on since before I started How I Met Your Father. :P

This is your new headcanon? *squeals excitedly* GAH! That's awesome! I really wanted that scene to be a true to the books and characters that JKR created as possible, because I really wanted it to be believable, so I'm glad that you like the way it turned out!!

Yeah, I tried to make them as complex as I possibly could, because I didn't want the Baron to come across as the bad guy, because in the book it always struck me how haughty Helena was. It felt wrong to write her as a victim... she had a part to play in her own death, as horrible as it is - it's true.

Those last lines I literally threw in at the last second before submitting this, so it's good that they turned out so well! I wasn't sure if it was too much or not, but it seems to have paid off well enough. :D

Thank you so much for ANOTHER fantastic review, Sian! Your reviews are always so awesome and never fail to make me smile!

Keep being amazing and keep writing!

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Review #2, by awesomepotter History Forgets

14th August 2015:
Hello there! At last, your review for the Coined by Shakespeare challenge arrives! I'm so sorry it's so late :(
LIZZIE! Why did you do this to me? Don't you know I can't handle things of an excessive feel-y nature? And then you go and do this to me? I mean, that's just rude. The bit where the Baron screams after Helena dies had me flapping my hands like a lunatic because of all the emotion in that last section. The fact that he killed the love of his life just in a moment of insanity and anger was so heartbreaking. I like the way you write Helena, though - I thought it created a very convincing and realistic character, especially when you don't get a lot to go off of from her short appearance in the last book. It would make sense that she felt bitter and jealous of the fact that her mother was always the one that was well-known and recognised, and that she would have had to live in her mother's shadow a lot. I really liked the way she was written in this.
I thought the way you worked the prompt into the story, too - sometimes these things can be difficul to get into a story without them sticking out and interrupting the flow of the story. However, I thought that it just slipped into the story seamlessly, and if I didn't know what I was looking for, I wouldn't have spotted it. I thought you did such a good job for having combined three challenges, and the characters, the storyline and the prompt all fitted really well together. It was really lovely to read, and though I'd like to gush more and make this review longer, I have to leave now to recover from a serious bout of feels that SOMEONE gave me recently *stares*
Well done, you're amazing ;)

Author's Response: Grace!

Don't worry, I've taken much longer to respond to this!

Oops, sorry. ;) I'll try not to give you too many feels next time.

No promises though.

Ah! Thanks you! I'm so glad you liked how I wrote Helena!! This story was so tricky for me, because I felt like I couldn't have The Bloody Baron be the typical "bad guy" here. Yeah, Helena didn't deserve to die, but she wasn't a saint - and writing that was a real challenge!

Hehehe. I'll be honest, slipping quotes and references into stories is my specialty. I've yet to write something that DOESN'T have some sort of reference/quote.

For some reason I get a really big kick out of it.

Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by, and for placing this story in your challenge! I loved writing for it!

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Review #3, by TreacleTart History Forgets

10th August 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold review battle! Go team red!

Since you and I had the only two entries for the Ghost Story Challenge and seeing that we tied, I knew I had to come and check out what you'd written. It definitely didn't disappoint.

Helena Ravenclaw's death at the hands of The Bloody Baron is something we only hear about in passing reference in cannon. I love that you chose to take that moment and expand upon it. I always love these sort of missing moment type pieces because they add so much more depth to the overall story.

I have to say that I was a little creeped out about the Baron forcing himself on Helena. He had no right to kiss her without her permission, even if she was being a jerk. I'm glad that she fought back and was going to hurt him. I think I would've felt the same way if I had been in her shoes.

Something that I found particularly tragic about this whole story is that while Rowena is lying on her death bed, The Baron is off killing her daughter. I suppose it's a good thing that she didn't actually have to live through her child's death.

I thought this was a really good entry. It was nice getting to see some backstory! Good work!


Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Thanks so much for stopping by! I definitely need to check out your entry as well - I've been super lame with R&R'ing lately.

I've always felt like the Bloody Baron and Helena's story was much more complex than the little bit we hear about in the books - so I spent a lot more time thinking about their characters before writing these two. I really wanted them to both be incredibly flawed - the Baron in his hot headed nature when he forced himself on Helena and loses control and kills her, while Helena can't be considered absolutely innocent because of her pride and cold heart. They were extreme opposites, and while some say that may work, it was exactly what led to both of their downfalls.

Yet they both had to be relatable - you have to pity the Baron and his unrequited love, especially given how Helena treats him, but you also get angry with Helena, because what the Baron does isn't something forgivable.

You're right, that probably is the saddest part of the whole situation. Poor Rowena unknowingly chooses her daughter's murderer by sending the Baron after her.

Thanks so much for R&R'ing, Kaitlin! I'm so glad you stopped by!

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Review #4, by MargaretLane History Forgets

6th August 2015:
Aw, that part about history forgetting them is kind of sad.

And ooh, I LOVE Othello. It's by far my favourite Shakespearean play, partly because of Emilia, but that's beside the point.

The whole scenario strikes me as SO creepy, Rowena sending her daughter's murderer to find her, not realising what he will do.

I like the way you give a kind of softness to him. It's not easy to create sympathy for a murderer.

I have sympathy for Helena, feeling in her mother's shadow like that, but she also seems a rather haughty and immature character, as if she never got over being second fiddle.

It seems like he feels he's got some right to her, as if in some way, he feels she's under some obligation to love him back, some obligation she is failing to live up to.

This is a really interesting interpretation of what happened. It's not exactly as simply as him being a brutal murderer and her the innocent victim - both seem like sort of haughty characters who feel they should be in control, which I guess makes sense given their backgrounds, and they both seem almost offended that the other will not bend to their will, leading to an almost inevitable struggle.

And that explains his remorse.

Oooh, that part about their forgetting is sort of creepy.

Author's Response: Margaret!

Othello is definitely in my top five favorite Shakespeare plays, which is why I was pretty excited to get that quote! :D

Definitely a creepy scenario - no doubt about it. I took advantage of that fact, I'm afraid.

"It's not easy to create sympathy for a murderer." - Huh. I'd never thought about it like that. But you're right! I did that!

Whoa. When you put it that way it sounds way more impressive that I was thinking it was. All I wanted to do was create some really complex characters that were outside of what one might expect from the books, but still stay true to their characters.

I think with both Helena and the Baron, I wanted to show that while they deserved some sympathy, because there were some unfair aspects of their lives, their pride and stubbornness was their downfall. They BOTH have major faults, and refusing to change destroyed them.

Ah, yes. The bit about their forgetting was something I added at the last minute that seemed to enhance the overall mood of the story. I feel like after a long time (meaning several thousand years) a ghost would eventually forget themselves as they were forgotten by the world. It's almost inevitable that they would be forgotten, so why not forget themselves at some point as well?

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, Margaret! Your reviews are awesome!!

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Review #5, by merlins beard History Forgets

2nd August 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

it really took me forever to get here, but now I finally have a moment to read and judge the entries for my Ghost Story Challenge.

I like how you started out this story right in the middle of the action, without taking too much time to explain what's happening. The reader can figure that out anyway, there's no need for more introduction than you left us with.

I think your characterization of Lady Helena Ravenclaw was spot-on. From the tiny bit we know about her, this is exactly what I imagined her to be like.

I imagine the Bloody Baron to be a very hard person to write about, but I think you've captured him quite well too. I really enjoyed their fierce discussion, and especially Helena's forceful but still kind of witty remarks.

I think she doesn't treat him fairly, nor does she have a very clear picture of her mother, and she is very stubborn and that fact makes her very lonely.

I would have liked to see a little more about the Ghost part of this, as it was quite short and confined to the end of the story. You showed how they got there but barely touched what happened to them after the dagger had pierced both their bodies.

I really enjoyed the tone of this story, it was definitely something I don't see very often, and I really like it as an entry to my challenge.

The results will be up sometime today, so keep an eye out.


Author's Response: Anja!

Oh, you definitely haven't taken as long to review this as I have to respond to it!! :D

Haha! I definitely started it in the middle of the action just because I wanted to keep it rather short and not drag it out longer than it needed to. *hangs head* That's a pretty sad explanation, huh?

I'm glad you liked the way I've written both the Bloody Baron and Helena. I really wanted to portray them as much more complex characters than they might seem on the surface. I always thought that their faults were the reason for their deaths. It wasn't necessarily the Baron just killing Helena and himself in a fit of rage, but that Helena was cold and cruel and drove him to it puts the blame on her shoulders too.

Hmm, fair point about seeing more of the ghostly aspect of this. I guess I just wanted to tell the tale of their deaths and WHY they became ghosts, not necessarily HOW they did. If that makes any sense.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! And for the challenge and placing me in first!! :D It made me pretty happy.

Thanks again, Anja!!

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Review #6, by MuggleMaybe History Forgets

22nd July 2015:
Oooh, I quite liked this!

I've read almost nothing in the Founders era, but you really made it come to life. What's really impressive to me is that, even though the Bloody Baron's violent actions can never be justified, you managed to portray him in a sympathetic light. For all that he's a villain of sorts. He really seems to love her, while she seems very cold-hearted. There's just so much complexity here!

I may have to venture into Founders some more :)

Lovely work!

Author's Response: Renee!

Thanks so much for reviewing! It means a lot, since The Bloody Baron was definitely one of the harder characters I've ever written. I've always felt kinda bad for him, constantly being rejected by Helena, until he couldn't stand it anymore.

I always just figured things got out of control, and he felt incredible remorse because he's the one who killed her.

Whereas I always thought Helena was a bit worse with her pride and uncaring nature.

Anyway, thanks so much Renee! I really appreciate your review! :D


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Review #7, by wolfgirl17 History Forgets

15th July 2015:
Hey there Lizzie,

Wolfgirl here with one of your winning reviews for my Unsung Hero challenge.

This was a really interesting take on how the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron. I like the way you managed to incorporate the way the Grey Lady was so disdaining towards her mother, and the way you managed to include an expression of the Bloody Baron's renowned temper.

Overall this was a fun story to read and I'm glad you posted it.


Author's Response: Ellie!

Thanks so much for stopping by and reviewing this!

This was definitely one of the harder stories I've had to write, and I'm glad that you enjoyed it! I was afraid that the Bloody Baron might come across as too sympathetic or Lady Ravenclaw as too cold, but I also wanted to show a degree of change between the ghosts we met and the people they were... Since I imagine that they'd be pretty different.

Anyway, thanks for R&R'ing! I really appreciate it!

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Review #8, by SunshineDaisies History Forgets

7th July 2015:
Hey Lizzie! Here for our swap:)

This was lovely! I love the story of The Grey Lady and The Bloody Baron. It's terrible, of course, but it seems like it suits the time period. (Historical figures tend to be very dramatic, don't they?)

I love the way you brought this story to life! Your Helena is superb, I love how fiery and feminist she is. She's a bit cocky as well, and that works so well for her character. She knows she's the best and she isn't going to take any crap from anyone who's trying to stop her. So far ahead of her time.

I think the Baron is excellent as well! Dramatic and hot-headed, obviously, but again, it suits his character. (And matches what we know from canon). I think you did a really good job of making him that obnoxious creepy dude who has a crush on you, while also making him completely human. It's fantastic characterization, really!

I think the writing, especially at the end, is just excellent. The very end is so poetic and lovely, and just before that, the scene where they die is just chilling. It all works very well together.

I'd say this is a bit on the short side, but only because I'd like to read more of it :)

Good work!

Author's Response: YAY! I love review swaps, don't you??

Oooh! I'm SO glad you liked this story!! I rather enjoyed writing both Helena and the Baron, and it's good to know that my characterizations are good! They're both very strong personalities, so having them together in the same story turned out to be very tricky!

The end was something that I hadn't planned on adding at all, but I threw it in at the last minute, and I have to say, I think it worked out rather well!

It definitely is on the short side - I might have to go in and edit it someday. *crosses fingers* If I'm lucky enough to have the time.

Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate you stopping by!!

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Review #9, by DracosGirl012 History Forgets

7th July 2015:
Here for my review for the Unloved Character Challenge.
Hmm this was an INTERESTING take on The Bloody Baron! I thought it was quite well written. I loved that threw Helena in there. I always wondered about the Baron, as well as I wondered about how Helena died. You certainly put an interesting twist on it and I rather liked it! You don't see many stories (any, really) about The Bloody Baron.
Anyways thanks for entering my challenge, and I'll be posting a winners list as soon as all the entrants have their stories up. :)

Author's Response: Uh oh.

"INTERESTING" in all caps... I hope that that's better than I'm thinking it is...

But regardless, I'm glad that you liked this story, and the way that I've written the Bloody Baron. He's definitely a character that I hadn't expected to write about, yet when I did, it came to me surprisingly quickly.

Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate you coming by and I'm looking forward to seeing your results for the challenge!! :D

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