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Reading Reviews for Beyond Repair
  
67 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin A Highly Unusual Day

22nd July 2017:
Here I am again! I thought I would profit and just go on reading. :P

I remember reading the first part ages ago, when you were writing it, in one of our Skype writing dates... I so miss them... anyway...

First of all, your description was great, as always. The sultry afternoon, Petunia painting her nails, McGonagall's appearence... also, I love that you sort of created a parallel between the weather and the narration, the growing tension between the two sister and the sense of suspension before the storm explodes.

By the way, the argument was just so sad... especially because they both just said right the things that would hurt the other more without meaning it. That's just how bad arguments go, isn't it? Wrong words and misunderstandings. But it really looks like the beginning of the end and it is so sad to see. I felt so bad for Tuney here...

Another great chapter! I really love this story!

Love you, my dear!

Chiara

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin The Picnic

22nd July 2017:
Hey, Renee, love!

Thought I would profit of your appreciation month to move on a bit with this lovely story you have here! ;)

Oh, poor, little Sev... even if he does have a few little creepy moments... like the desire when he looks at Lily, and the fascination he already has for Dark Magic. It was interesting to see the different reactions Lily and Petunia had at the mention of the Imperius Curse, I love how Lily can immediately see the darkness in it, while Petunia sees only the selfish part. It's so in character for both of them and I love how well defined their personalities already are, even if they are all just children,

But going back to Severus, I really felt for him and for his family situation, it's horrible the abuses he and his mother had to suffer, and it's so heartbreaking that he prefers to be the subject of his father's rage, just because he wouldn't go after his mum then. There is one thing that confused me a little, though... why did he have magical wounds if his father is a Muggle? Not important, but I tthought I'd ask.

I loved how Petunia felt pity for him, too, but fought it off because it was a reality she couldn't and didn't want to understand. Sometimes things are just too painful and it's easier to close your eyes and pretend they don't exist, isn't it? I loved the way you wrote her inner conflict.

And I also loved the way you wrote her jealousy, and the mental mechanism that will lead her to hate her sister and despise magic in the long run. She doesn't think magic is creepy, she loves the idea of it. What she hates is that she can't be part of it. And that's not even that, because what she really hates is that her sister doesn't mind shutting her out from that part of her (obviously, it isn't Lily's fault and Petunia should understand that, but seeing the situation in this light makes you understand her motivations much better and it makes total sense).

To cut it short, this was another awesome chapter, with wonderful character development. I so love how you write everyone. Actually, I so love how you write, dot.

Might be back for more later. See you for now.

Snowball hug,

Chiara

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Review #3, by nott theodore Daddy's Little Flowers

16th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Renee! It's been so long since I got to read any of your writing, so it's lovely to have an excuse to come back now! And this was such a lovely and wonderful start to the story! I already love the premise of this story - I have read some one-shots which focus on the relationship between Lily and Petunia, but I don't think I've ever read anything that's longer than that - now I'm wondering why because this seems like the perfect way to explore their relationship as sisters through the years.

I loved that you started this story on the day that Lily was born, but the narrative focus was on Petunia so I actually really warmed up to her as a character here. You wrote her so well - I could easily picture the little girl outside, waiting to know what's happening because she's still at the age when she doesn't entirely understand what is going on. Your description of her as she was waiting was so cute and lovely.

It's pretty unusual that their dad was gone and there while Lily was born, I think, at this point in time. It helps to build up the potential for jealousy more though.

The description of her stomach wriggling as Petunia met Lily for the first time was great - but I loved how quickly it turned sour when she got jealous of Lily being called her nickname. It seems natural enough for the older sibling to get upset and jealous at this point because the attention they receive moves onto someone else, but it also felt more serious than that, especially since we know how bad the relationship between the sisters becomes.

Sian :)

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Review #4, by crimson quill Daddy's Little Flowers

16th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So Petunia is a character that I have a soft spot for because I want to feel that's she misunderstood I guess.

I thought this was such a cute scene to the honest. I think you write little petunia so well, I think the line about talking not being allowed but it was noisy. it's really interesting the little moments that kids really pick up on and you've really captured that childish essence in petunia's character here. It's very natural for first child to be confused by a new arrival especially as we know what a complicated relationship they will have in the future. the groundwork for the rest of the story is really strong. this chapter just works so well as a taster of what's coming up in the story.

I think the moment that is rather heartbreaking thought for a child but probably quite realistic is 'Mummy loved Petunia again'. I guess children see things very black/white like that or maybe it's more a characteristic of petunia as a person. which ever it is, that line is pretty powerful I think. this chapter feels like fluff but the build up of petunia's feelings at the end changes the tone. I'm rather interested to see what your visions are for this story! xo

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Review #5, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Station Wagon

14th September 2016:
Oh my Goodness... it starts. *sighs sadly* :(

I really liked that we got to see Lily's emotions in this chapter - OBVIOUSLY she's going to be so conflicted about her emotions right now, from excited to sad to worried, so I think it was really great that you were able to convey all of that.

And then, Petunia. *sighs* I was happy to see that Dumbledore had responded to her, but in all honesty I really was wishing he'd have let her come.

Buuut, then seeing her reaction and the way she's treating Lily already beginning to deteriorate, made me lose a little bit of the sympathy I had for her. I think it's obvious that it's jealousy, and that she's only acting this way out of hurt and sadness, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant or fair for poor Lily. :( When she threw the ring I literally gasped.

I can't imagine things getting much better in their relationship from this point, but I am still looking forward to the next chapters, because this story is SO beautiful and well-written and original! Let me know when the next one's up and I'll do my best to review it more quickly!! ♥ Great chapter!

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Review #6, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Crossed Fingers

14th September 2016:
I'm here, I'm here!!! (And it's about time, too, isn't it?!?) I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this!

And GAH, I think this chapter just killed me with feels and cuteness. First off, it's so, so sad that Petunia feels so left out. It's really clear that she wants to go to Hogwarts SO much, and even though I know what the outcome will probably be, there's a little part of me that's really hoping Dumbledore could just respond and let her come to Hogwarts. :(

I LOVED how Petunia went to their Dad for advice, that's a typical little girl reaction so it was very realistic. And I really enjoyed that we got to see the thought process behind WHY Petunia wrote that letter to Dumbledore in the first place.

This was another FANTASTIC chapter, lovely, and if my eyes are to believed, you've already posted ANOTHER, so I'm off to that one now! ♥ Well done!

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Review #7, by Crumple-Horned Snorkac Station Wagon

11th September 2016:
Greetings from the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, out for another short adventure into the internet as a holiday from my months-long hibernation in the boreal forest of Sweden. How fortunate that I discovered this story!

You do such a wonderful job of showing how the division between the two sisters wasn't really anyone's fault in particular, just the result of a lot of jealousy and feeling left out and other things that are perfectly understandable to humans of that age. And the feeling is not limited to humans, in fact. My BFF the Loch Ness Monster is always telling me of the beauty of under water in the Loch, but Snorkacks aren't very good swimmers. Alas.

Poor Petunia, though, writing to the headmaster of Hogwarts and not being allowed in because she's not a witch. I would tell her she's welcome to stay with the Snorkacks in the northern forest here but she may not be able to find us, so I don't know how helpful it would be. It makes me sad that she said such mean things to her sister right before Lily left for school, because it's going to be a long time before they'll see each other next. And it's not Lily's fault that Lily just happened to be lucky enough to have magic. But of course it is going to change her, going to school. It's very sad how this is all turning out, but very believable, and no one is the villain. Both characters are perfectly understandable in how they're feeling.

This is such a wonderful story! But now, I must leave as I promised I'd meet Nessie for tea.

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Review #8, by TreacleTart Sailing

27th August 2016:
Hey Renee!

Back for one more review for the gift thread!

This is quite the change of pace from the last two chapters, but I think that's a good thing. After the sort of bittersweet tone, it's nice to have a break of just pure fluffy, happy, sisterly love.

I really enjoyed reading the girls and their imagination. You do such a great job of writing young children! I could almost see the ship and the storm as the two of them described it. And I gasped as Lily was swept off into the ocean. Good thing Petunia was there to save them!

I think the only thing that sort of makes this chapter tragic for me is knowing that their relationship doesn't stay this close. It's hard to look at them this way and then imagine them down the road when they aren't speaking to each other. It's heartbreaking really.

I have to wonder if as an old woman Petunia looked back on moments like these and regretted her treatment of her sister. I like to think that maybe she felt truly sorry for not cherishing what she had more.

Good work on this! I'll definitely be back to read more of this when I can!

~Kaitlin

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Review #9, by TreacleTart Don't Let Go

27th August 2016:
Hi again!

Back for another gift thread review!

This was a sort of bittersweet chapter. We have a chance to see both Petunia's best and worst characteristics here. Later in life, we know her as very vain and caring about what everyone thinks. Her comments about not wanting to play with a baby at school seem to sort of reflect that. Even at a young age, it seems she cares what the others might think of her.

Then we see her being a great older sister and perhaps feeling bad for the harsh words she said to Lily. The snuggling with her during story time and the teaching her to ride a bike show just how much she really does love her. And her reaction when Lily goes flying is really good too.

Lily's moment with her mum in the garden is really sweet and it's nice to see that they have such a good relationship. I love that they sat there weaving daisy chains together until Lily felt better.

This chapter has left me feeling a bit conflicted because I know that deep down Petunia loves her sister, but I unfortunately also know how she turns out as an adult. Part of me almost hopes that this is going to be an AU and they'll develop a strong, unshakable bond.

Good work so far! I'm off for the next chapter now!

~Kaitlin

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Review #10, by TreacleTart Daddy's Little Flowers

27th August 2016:
Hey Renee!

Here to drop off a few more gifts from the gift tag. Now that works slowing down a bit, I can finally get caught up on all the things I'd rather be doing, like reviewing your lovely stories! BTW, how have I not read this story already?

I loved that the first chapter was about Petunia's reaction to Lily's birth. Writing a very young child can be so tough, but I thought you did a fantastic job of making her thoughts sound like those of a little girl. You had just the right amount of jealousy, insecurity, wonder, and love.

I thought that Petunia's reaction to Lily was very telling of things to come. She loves her and at the saqme time, there's something deep down inside of her that resents Lily taking away the attention. Of course, here it's just a fleeting moment of jealousy, but it sets a precedent for the future.

I also really liked the length of this chapter. You kept it short and to the point, but I thought that actually really went with how a child might experience things. In short bursts instead of long overly descriptive paragraphs.

Anyway, if the first chapter is anything to go by, this story looks really promising! I'm off to read chapter 2 right now!

~Kaitlin

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Review #11, by Neville Longbottom Light as a Feather

22nd August 2016:
Renee!

After the cuteness of the last chapter, this one was like a punch in the gut with sad feels. Well, more like bittersweet feels.

Sweet, because Lily showed her first signs of magic! And I actually really liked the way you wrote it - children usually first show signs of magic when emotions are running high (as Iím sure you know), so it isnít a surprise that Petuniaís behavior towards Lily is what triggered it in the first place.

It was also sweet that Petunia covered for Lily - she didnít tattle like I thought she would, and I wondered why that is until I realized that she was scared, so it would make sense that she wouldnít want to advertise what had just happened. Especially because she was sure the adults wouldnít believe her. Which is less sweet. :(

Lily being left out of the party because Petunia was worried about what the other girls thought of her was also really sad. Poor LilyÖ being the younger sister really sucks sometimes.

Clearly, this is the point where their relationship will start to change. Everything that happened put a strain between them that was never there before, and as Lilyís magic inevitably becomes more prominent, it will only get worse.

Sorry, Iím making a lot of ďitís sad because we know itíll end badlyĒ commentsÖ Itís mostly because youíve done a really, REALLY good job sticking to the characterization weíve seen of Petunia and Lily thus far, and now Iíve sort of adopted this whole story as a head canon at this pointÖ

Merlin, youíre really good. This story is amazing!

But alas, this will have to be the last review for the time beingÖ Iíll have to come back and read the rest of the chapters and review again soon!

Donít worry though, Iíll be sending along some other gifts for you before this challenge ends. Plus an extra special something if I can swing itÖ :D
(Oh, and you should totally make an AQ&A page. Iíd love to leave a few questions for you at some point. ;) )

Renee, you are a wonderful storyteller, and you should know that this story is SO amazing. Itís well written, itís creative, and itís unique and Iím so glad that I got to read it!

Neville Longbottom

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Review #12, by Neville Longbottom Sailing

22nd August 2016:
Renee!

Back for chapter 3!

This one was the best yet. It was absolutely darling. Completely wonderful. Beautiful. Fantastic. Awesome. AmazingÖ Iím running out of adjectives hereÖ

Basically, I loved this chapter.

This moment is so, SO precious. Petunia and Lilyís relationship is so sweet and loving ó itís hard to imagine their relationship turning into what it became as teenagers. Very bittersweet.

I know that Iíve said that youíre amazing writing children, but this is your best yet. The way you managed to morph from reality to fantasy and back is PURE PERFECTION. Seriously, one second theyíre playing on Lilyís bed, the next theyíre on a ship in the middle of the ocean. You managed to capture a childís imagination perfectly just by wholeheartedly jumping into the world theyíre imagining and writing it like itís real - with a few modifications of course (ďÖcaught it just south of the rocking chair.Ē -- That made me giggle).

Another wonderful chapter Renee! Iím off to the next one!

Neville Longbottom

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Review #13, by Neville Longbottom Don't Let Go

22nd August 2016:
Renee!

Iím back!

Wow, this is another wonderful chapter!! I liked reading from
Lilyís POV, especially because we get to see Lilyís obvious
admiration and adoration of her big sister. Petunia is
everything to her, and itís obvious that Petunia loves being
the big sister.

Lilyís determination to be just like Petunia is so telling.
Clearly sheís a Gryffindor through and through (not that
anyone ever doubted it), and putting all of that determination
and loyalty into being just like her big sister. Itíll be
interesting to see the point where Lily stops wanting to be
like PetuniaÖ as Iím sure she will eventually.

The bicycle part was my favorite bit, to be honest. I loved
that you brought up Lilyís desire to fly. That was a really nice
touch that added a whole new level of emotion to the scene.

And perhaps Iím reading too much into it, but I canít help but
feel like itís all a bit of a metaphor for Petunia and Lilyís
relationship - eventually, Lily will be moving too fast for
Petunia to catch up, and Petunia will be left behind as Lily
goes off and joins a world that sheíll never be part of.

And when that happens, Petunia wonít be able to be there to
pick Lily back up. Which has got to hurt, for both of them.

Anyway, Iím off to read the next chapter! This story is really
fantastic so far! You should be proud of this story!

Neville Longbottom

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Review #14, by Neville Longbottom Daddy's Little Flowers

22nd August 2016:
Renee!

Neville Longbottom here, leaving you some reviews for the pass it along challenge! So sorry that it took me so long to get here - someone put a Fanged Geranium next to a Devilís Snare and, wellÖ Iím sure you can imagine why those two shouldnít be near each otherÖ

Anyway, Iím here now and Iím SO glad that I got you for this challenge! Iíve had my eye on this story for a while, so Iím excited to finally read it!

Adorable. Really. This first chapter is simply adorable.

Petunia is so in character here. You really can see why she turned out the way she did. Sheís still very sweet and innocent, but itís clear that those feelings of jealousy towards Lily arenít going to go away anytime soon, and that really impacts her personality as she grows.

The way you write children is so spot onÖ Iíve read another story of yours that is from a childís POV (and thereís a hint to my real identity), and itís amazing. Not many people can write a childís mind so well, and now youíve done it twice! Amazing!

Iíd go on, but Iíd just keep gushing about this chapter and I want to read the next chapter instead!

Amazing job, Renee!

Neville Longbottom

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Review #15, by Someone who loves you Sailing

21st August 2016:
Oh, Renee. How talented you are.

I absolutely love this story, and this chapter really stands out for me. I think partly because whenever I read this story, the end of their relationship is hovering at the back of my mind.

As I read this, all I could see was my own sister and me! You've written a tiny moment in childhood so realistically, and it's beautiful from start to finish. I love how Lily helps Petunia through her fear of the storm, how both the girls can't sleep because of their excitement, how they play pretend.

It's so difficult to write from a child's POV and do it well, but your writing is just outstanding, but everything you do is ♥

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Review #16, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Pocket Money

9th August 2016:
*Tackles* THERE'S A NEW CHAPTER OF THIS STORY! ♥ AND I GET TO BE THE FIRST TO REVIEW IT, TOO?!? *Pushes other readers to the side*

I am so happy that there's a new chapter of this!!! I'm pretty sure I was squeeing BEFORE I read it, and I'm squeeing even more now! I didn't realize just how much I had missed this story until I read this!

YOU. ARE. AN. INCREDIBLY. TALENTED. AUTHOR. I'm just going to put that out there right now before I even jump into talking about the chapter itself. You have a wonderful way of pulling readers into the chapter and making us feel like we're right there as it's happening, and it's amazing. Your descriptions and the way you explained Petunia's feelings about magic honestly really made me feel like I was seeing magic for the first time right along with her, and it's also left me feeling nostalgic to return to Diagon Alley as well. WELL DONE!

I loved, loved loved LOVEDDD the closeness between Petunia and Lily here. The way Lily promised to take Petunia to Hogwarts, at least once, and the way they both "oohed" and "aahed" together over everything they'd seen instead of Petunia being petty and jealous and making Lily cry, was just so sweet and I honestly really wish things could have always been that way between them. This chapter is honestly so sweet and cute and full of sisterly and family feels, it's hard not to smile when you read it.

Of course, my heart did feel quite broken for Petunia, especially in the Wand Shop scene. Yes, this particular day IS all about Lily, and that was further cemented when Petunia tried to get her own wand and couldn't. It's completely understandable why that would make Petunia feel upset, I'd be upset if I were in her shoes, also. I know that nobody is intentionally making her feel that way, and no one WANTS her to feel that way, but once again you've done an amazing job of creating sympathy and being able to relate to Petunia, who's someone it's very hard to relate to in the series. That just shows, even more, how amazing and talented you are!! *hearts;

I really liked how their mother and father tried to make Petunia feel included and important as well, with the "ice cream" talk and her mom giving her some spending money - it was so sweet to see, although it also kind of fills me with dread because I know that, even though her parents and Lily are trying, it's not going to be enough for Petunia, and that makes me sad. :(

I could go on and on about this chapter, honestly, and still not be able to express how much I love it, nor all of the reasons WHY I love it. It's just another of these absolutely adorable scenes with Lily and Petunia that I wish had been the norm for their relationship, and again you've given me sympathy and understanding for Petunia, which is a big deal!

Wonderful, WONDERFUL chapter, and I can't WAIT to read more!! ♥

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Review #17, by GryffindorandProudofIt Don't Let Go

7th August 2016:
Wow! This story is very insightful and intriguing at the same time! It's very interesting to see the backstory of Lily and Petunia, especially with the story beginning on the day Lily was born. I'm really liking this so far!
-GryffindorandProudofIt :)

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Review #18, by TidalDragon A Highly Unusual Day

3rd August 2016:
Howdy Renee! Because I am horrible, it has taken me...-frowns more deeply- over a month to get here. I'm REALLY sorry (especially since I know you were working on it for Camp) and if there's anything else you want reviewed, PM me and I'll do so ASAP.

As for your story itself, I think this is a really interesting concept. Petunia is an easy character to demonize - heck, I make her pretty mean and petty in my story - but it's later on and so I think it's really interesting to explore the nuance of the relationship from the earliest days on through to the end.

I know one thing you had expressed concern about is the consistency of Petunia's characterization throughout this chapter and I will say that on my first read-through, I really didn't pick up on anything that stood out to me negatively in that respect. I actually found it refreshing that there's a bit of oscillation in Petunia's thoughts and feelings about her relationship with Lily at this point. Though I don't have any siblings you seem to hit the classic touchstones of that relationship with the positive side of spending time together and shared activities, the dueling parent-child dynamics as perceived by Petunia, and the desire for independence that can come about naturally. I thought it was really helpful in fact to have laid that out at this point in their lives PRIOR to addressing the Hogwarts issue because it lays the foundation of a natural sibling relationship first, and THEN introduces the complication that really sends things over the edge.

In terms of other aspects of the story, I thought you did a good job with the dialogue of kids at Petunia and Lily's ages. Too many times (even in canon, honestly) kids are portrayed as having a clarity of speech and thought that are unnaturally advanced and instead, you made the interactions and accompanying speech both simpler and more impulsive and emotionally-tied than adults which made everything seem much more authentic.

Finally, perhaps my favorite part of the chapter was the end, where you turned around the dynamic of Petunia calling Lily a "freak" with Lily planting the seed that Petunia thinks she's odd and undesirable as a result of being a witch - something that I'm sure Petunia will later pick up on and in a way, the fact that Lily introduced the idea in the story makes the insult more cutting I think.

If I had any CC, which I really don't, it's that occasionally, when we see the breaks in dialogue that provide an opportunity to hear Petunia's thoughts, they are accompanied at times by an action, or description of Petunia that feels unnecessary. For example "Petunia didn't respond" is something that speaks for itself if you just insert Petunia's thoughts and have Lily speak again thereafter.

All in all though, I enjoyed the story and think it's a good and brave thing to take on that the fandom needs still more of.

Author's Response: Kevin, hi!! I had completely forgotten I requested this review, so this was a wonderful surprise!

I remember from past reviews that you don't shy away from CC (one of the reasons I requested from you!), so I'm flattered that you didn't have too much of it. I think I mentioned in my request that I struggled with this chapter for a long time. Simply knowing you don't think it's terrible is a relief!

"Petunia is an easy character to demonize"
--> this is so true! I have other stories where I demonize her, too. I think JKR was a bit cruel with her in canon. As you've seen in this chapter, I think her life was quite difficult in some ways, but she doesn't get any credit for that.

"I actually found it refreshing that there's a bit of oscillation in Petunia's thoughts and feelings"
--> I often ponder the dilemma between character consistency and the reality that people are not always consistent. I'm glad this came across in a way that, from what I gather, didn't feel unnatural.

This was a very helpful and reassuring review, thank you so much! And don't worry at all about the delay... you should see how behind I am with MY review thread! (EEEK!)

Thanks again! :)
Renee


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Review #19, by Felpata Lupin Light as a Feather

2nd July 2016:
Hey, Renee!
I've decided to leave a few reviews around today, so I could not stop here! :D

Wow! This was an intense chapter!

Poor Lily, I felt so bad for her... But that's how it works with siblings, isn't it? When the older one is with his/her friends, the younger becomes a burden. Also, those twins were really horrible!

I so loved the parallel you created with the Mudblood incident. Petunia being bullied, Lily trying to take her defences, Petunia refusing her help and insulting her. So sad, but so perfect.

And then Lily lost control, and gave Petunia and her friends a good scare. I'm glad Petunia covered up for her in the end. She still wants to protect her sister (at least for now...), and that's so sweet! Their relationship is so authentic! I so love the way you write the both of them!

This was a brilliant chapter, dear! I love this story so much!
Lots of love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Hello lovely!!!

It was so nice of you to stop by here. :D
I'm really happy you liked this chapter. I think "their relationship is so authentic" is one of the best things anyone can say about this story. Thank you so much!

"She still wants to protect her sister (at least for now...)"
-->heh, yeah. I'll have more up soon.

lots of love to you sweetheart!
xoxo Renee


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Review #20, by MrsJaydeMalfoy A Highly Unusual Day

26th June 2016:
What's this about a new chapter? And Aww man! Kristin beat me to the first review! :( *Raises eyebrow at Kristin*

Okay, enough rambling: once again, I LOVED this, as I knew I would. As soon as Petunia mentioned Lily being 11, I just KNEW it was going to be THIS chapter, where they find out about Hogwarts, and I was really excited to read it. And, once again, you have blown me away with your description, and the little details you include about Lily and Petunia's relationship and their feelings.


I loved your description of Lily's excitement and her automatically knowing why Minerva was there, and then the way Minerva smiled about it. I could easily see those things happening because you described them so well, and because you've made this so realistic.

The seeds of this argument have been growing for quite a while, just because Petunia is the older sister who's easily annoyed by Lily's actions, and then here we got to see just how things would have escalated once they found out (for sure) about Lily being a witch and heading off to Hogwarts. Here, you've got the beginnings of the whole 'weirdo'-type namecalling from Petunia, but you've explained it in a way that shows Petunia didn't mean it that way and in doing so you've made her much more relatable and likeable as well. It'll be interesting to see how the argument / divide between the girls progresses from here - and I'm sure it'll be heartbreaking as well. :(

Petunia thinking about Lily being off in a castle was a nice touch, too - it helped remind me of her thoughts and hopes from earlier chapters, and it's already helping me to see how jealousy's going to be a factor here, as well.

Anyway, this is another WONDERFULLY written, VERY descriptive and emotional chapter that I enjoyed very, VERY much! I'm so happy I finally got to read more of this and I can't wait for you to update!

Well done, lovely!

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Review #21, by marauderfan A Highly Unusual Day

25th June 2016:
Renee! I read the first five chapters of this ages ago and I could have sworn I'd reviewed this before, but it look like I didn't! I'm so sorry. I am the worst. So I'm going to make up for that now!

First here is me gushing about the story as a whole. I love this. Your portrayal of Petunia and Lily is so adorable, so touching, and so realistic. Petunia as a child is not always nice, but I can really understand her. Maybe because I'm an older sibling myself, but all the moments when Petunia is jealous of Lily being so doted on and the golden child of the family - I could relate to Petunia. And what I especially love about the way you write their relationship - of course they fight, and they're jealous of one another sometimes and try to look cool in front of their friends and don't always get along, but at the end of the day, they are sisters and they care about each other. I loved the chapter where they're on their pretend boat, it was adorable. I just love the realism of the way you portray these two characters, and the sweet sisterly moments between them are even more special knowing how it all turns out later.

Which makes this chapter so much sadder. It felt like a long string of misunderstandings, and reading this chapter I just felt like it didn't have to be the way it was! Even after all that's happened, Lily is excited to tell Petunia her thoughts about Hogwarts and says she'll miss her sister, and Petunia backs Lily up in that scene when Lily's parents find out about magic. Until the last section of the chapter, it didn't feel like she thought Lily was a freak, just that she was sad to be left out of all the excitement, and annoyed that Lily could share that excitement instead with Snape, whom Petunia hates.

And then they fight, just as Lily's about to leave for months, which means they leave on a bad note, and then you have that ominous ending line about a storm coming. You've had all sorts of symbolism in the story so far that I really love - they used to sit through the storms together, and Petunia was afraid of storms (which is so appropriate, because here you have storms symbolizing conflict, and Petunia totally demonstrates this aversion to conflicts several times - not thinking about Snape's background, covering for Lily at the slumber party... it's all there and I can tell how much thought you put into it - it's fantastic. Anyway, before I got sidetracked talking about your excellent symbolism, I wanted to point out that the end of this chapter made me sad, because it really feels like the point where they stop being friends :(

on the topic of less sad things:

Sheíd been on the phone arguing with Susie, and his lecture interrupted her phone call. It was totally embarrassing. -- haha this is classic! Daaad, stop embarrassing me in front of my frieeends! this line made me laugh.

And I loved the appearance of McGonagall arriving to explain about magic. Everything about that scene was wonderful :D

this was such a great chapter, a wonderful story overall, and of course that a/n about you having a backlog of finished chapters makes me very happy as well.

now go summarize your research article. :P



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Review #22, by Dinthemidwest The Picnic

29th May 2016:
My lunchbox was the Disneyland's Magical Kingdom castle... Magic! You've written a unique & detailed story-Petunia & Lily have been captured in great detail!

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Review #23, by Dinthemidwest Sailing

29th May 2016:
Ther's nothing like the magic of childhood... You have written another great chapter!

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Review #24, by Dinthemidwest Don't Let Go

29th May 2016:
Being an older sister has its moments-I thought you captured the relationship between the 2 girls perfectly. And healing her scrape? Lily's already at her magic! Beautiful images all through...

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Review #25, by Dinthemidwest Daddy's Little Flowers

29th May 2016:
This was a wonderful 1st chapter-Petunia as a small child!! Got to move on to chapter 2...

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