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Reading Reviews for The Last Time
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Chapter 1.

30th August 2015:
YES!!! A MASQUERADE BALL!! YES! AND IT'S A DRAMIONE! I Love masquerade Dramiones so much!

I am so excited about how this is going to turn out :D

Oh no! Ron's being different :( I hope that it's not something too bad that's bothering him.

Is Ron drinking? ;( This makes me really sad, poor Ron! You've done a really good job at showing how unhappy they both are.

That room sounds amazing! and you've done a wonderful job describing it, it really feels like I'm there in the room as well. I can even smell the pine trees.

Aw they're dancing! :D

I love that he's donated so much money, especially to Harry's parents monument, and that the ball was in honor of remembering those that had fallen.

I can't wait to see how this story plays out. You've done such a wonderful job and I can't wait to come back and read more!

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Review #2, by TreacleTart Chapter 3.

10th August 2015:
Hi there!

I'm here for our review swap! I'm sorry that I'm so terribly late. Life got sort of crazy for a week and I just wasn't able to get to my reviews. Anyway, I'm here now, so let me continue on with your lovely story.

They do say that third time is the charm, so I'm really hoping that this is the year that Hermione meets her mystery man. It seems highly likely since Ron is out of the way and all wrapped up with some other woman. Furthermore, Hermione has no reason to feel guilty about it anymore either because Ron left her.

One thing that I really like in this is that Ginny is on Hermione's side. She's a true friend even though the whole situation involves her brother. That's a true friend right there.

And the whole meeting her mystery suitor is so frustrating. How many tries will it take before Draco reveals himself? Also, I had a thought and maybe this was already answered and I've just forgotten, but how come Hermione doesn't recognize his voice? I mean even if he changed the tone of his voice, I'd imagine he'd still have similar speech patterns.

I did notice quite a few typos and things, but then your Author's note says you're still working on having it edited, so I won't bother to point them out.

All in all, another good chapter.

~Kaitlin

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Review #3, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter 1.

1st August 2015:
Hello! Finally made it over here to start reviewing the cliche challenge story!

This was a very solid first chapter. It flowed nicely, and there weren't very many grammatical mistakes, especially in the beginning. I feel so bad for Hermione. I mean, I do think Ron must be dealing with some severe issues to have come to such a state, so I do pity him as well, but its hard to deal with that kind of situation when you're essentially the clean up crew, especially when its someone you love. You can't help but get a little bitter about it, and I thought you showed that off nicely. Hermione's words sound quite harsh when she finally confronts Ron, and I was a bit surprised, since her tone when she's thinking about his alcoholism is usually less sharp and more concerned/deflated. But the more I thought about it, the more I think it fits. When you care about someone, you're even more likely to snap. She's scared and embarrassed and so, so tired, and I think that comes across well.

Ginny took the lead, as Harry still was a horrible dancer,
--I love this bit! It is typical Ginny, to begin with. And it also reminds me of the hilarity of Harry's 'dance skills', both at the Yule Ball and in the 7th movie with Hermione. It made me smile.

Ahh. Draco ducked out just before the big reveal. Classic Draco, but in this case it just may be for the best.

CC:
Ginny was coming over to get ready with her while the men would get ready at her apartment the last thing she needed was Ginny noticing all of the bottles in the apartment.
--I'd try to avoid using the word "apartment" twice in a row. Maybe switch one out with "flat"?

For a split moment, Hermione felt a flashback to before everything took a turn for the worst.
--the usual expression is "for a split second". And also "to take a turn for the worse", rather than worst, though enough people fudge that one that it probably doesn't matter so much.

Hermione felt a tingle at the back of her mind of a memory.
--I'd put something in to break "a memory" up from the rest of the sentence.
Like, "Hermione felt a tingle at the back of her mind - a memory."

"He actually is the one that donated the money for my parents monument.
--parents should be parents'. Also, this confused me a bit. Is he talking about the monument in Godric's Hollow? Because that already existed in Deathly Hallows, which is before I'd think Draco could have done something like that. Was it damaged and re-done? Or is this a different monument? Might be good to specify.

he was wearing a muggle suit instead of dressing robes.
--this sentence seems to be caught between to options. It seems like it should either be, "he was wearing a muggle suit instead of dress robes" or "he was wearing a muggle suit instead of dressing in robes." I like the first option best, though.

This was a good start! I'm interested to see all of what happened before (and after) the part I read. I definitely plan on reading on. I'm such a Dramione shipper, and its been too long since I read a story that centered on them. I look forward to watching their relationship grow!

--Penny

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Review #4, by baletgir Chapter 5.

28th July 2015:
Wait that's the end!?!?! Darn it, now I need to find something else! But great story, I really enjoyed it. Dramione can be really unbelievable and plain ridiculous, I appreciate how real this was and how believable it was. Great job, I'm off to your author page to see what else you've written.

BaletGir

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Review #5, by baletgir Chapter 4.

28th July 2015:
So I've been an HPFF member for AGES! And I go through phases. I was a committed member for a number of years after DH, but real life gets in the way and such. When I need an escape, I come back, and it's always a fun adventure to find out what stories are currently popular, see what has been updated ( and sadly what has been abandoned that I was following) but I always start something new when I "come back" to HPFF. I choose your fic this time (about 2 weeks ago I returned) and I am really happy I found this fic. It's really interesting, and I keep checking for updates, and I love how quickly you're updating! I definitely see myself sticking around for awhile, if only to see your fic through. So thank you for writing this and for continuing it no matter how many reviews you have. Just remember someone is always reading (and someone is always waiting).

BaletGir

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Review #6, by TreacleTart Chapter 2.

28th July 2015:
Hello again!

Here with another review swap!

Two years in a row Hermione dances with the same mystery man. She must've really made a heck of an impression if he's buying her a dress and looking for her again an entire year later. On one hand, that seems really sweet, but on the other hand, it could be slightly stalkerish too. For now, I'm going with really sweet.

I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that Ron is in rehab. Based on the last chapter it really sounded like that was where he needed to be. Substance addiction isn't something that's easy to overcome, but with proper treatment and care it's very possible. But in order for healing to happen, it's important not to carry any baggage with you. I think it was really wise for Hermione and Ron to break up while he's going through this. And probably pretty healthy for Hermione too. She needs to take a break and really consider whether or not he really is the one for her.

Can I just say one thing? I'm really sad that Hermione brought Neville along and then ditched him to spend her night dancing with a stranger. I mean I know she's excited about her crush, but Neville is such a sweet guy, so I hate to see him left out.

Once again, Hermione's mystery man has positively swept her off of her feet. I was so excited that she was going to finally get to see who he was, but then it would figure that Kingsley would give her an award. I will say one thing though...For the brightest witch of her age, she certainly isn't very perceptive when it comes to Malfoy.

Oh and one thing I noticed. In this chapter, you have him with his hair color disguised. That was one of my questions in the last chapter, so I'm glad it got answered.

Another solid chapter. Good work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #7, by TreacleTart Chapter 1.

27th July 2015:
Hello again!

Here for another review swap!

I have to admit that Dramione is my guilty pleasure. It was the first pairing that I ever wrote and it holds a soft spot in my heart.

I also have a sneaking suspicion that this might be the story that you were researching the other day, so I'm doubly excited to see what you do here.

Wow. Ron and Hermione definitely have a toxic relationship going on here. Ron's drinking is way out of control and even though Hermione says she's trying to avoid directly enabling him, cleaning up his messes and hiding his indiscretions is actually enabling him. The only way people in those types of situations get better is with tough love and I hope desperately that at some point she realizes that.

It really is heartbreaking to see how excited Hermione is for the ball and then see Ron a drunken mess. I am glad, however, that she doesn't let it ruin her night. That's the thing with people who are suffering from alcohol addiction. They tend to want to drag you down with them..so that you're as miserable as they are. Good for Hermione for not falling into that trap.

When the masked man came and asked Hermione to dance, I knew right away that it was Draco. One question that I did ask myself was how Hermione didn't recognize him. I mean I know he has a mask on, but his hair is ice blonde...and pretty recognizable, but perhaps it was covered?

It sounds like the matching masks are a sign of destiny and my inner Dramione lover squealed with delight as the two of them twirled around the dance floor. I think Hermione is definitely going to have some explaining to do tomorrow. I know Ginny can't be too happy. Nor Harry for that matter.

And the announcement at the end. Wow. Draco's changed quite a bit since the war. I'm curious to find out if there was some particular moment that inspired him to become a better man or if it was just the overall guilt from having witnessed murder and torture. Either way, it's good of him to do so much work in the community.

I did notice in your Author's note that you posted this without editing and I did pick up on a handful of typos. It wasn't anything major, just a few things here and there, but I imagine as soon as you get a chance to look it over, those will all be fixed.

Thanks again for the swap! I think I'll go read the next chapter now!

~Kaitlin

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Review #8, by Gabriella Hunter Chapter 1.

16th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap. Thanks so much for the review you left for my story, "A Wedding." It was lovely!

So, I love Dramione. I never really get into alot of them, especially lately but this has a great feel to it and I'm eager to know more about it. I love how quickly you introduced characters and set the scene, I really love the fact that Hermione and Ginny are friends. We never saw her really interacting with other girls much in the HP series and I think Ginny would balance her out.

So, Ron is obviously having some problems here! It makes me sad to know whats happening to me and what's making me sadder is that no one has stepped in to stop him. I know that it's hard for people to talk about and I can only imagine what Hermione is going through. Apparently, Ginny and Ron aren't on good terms but I do wonder what Harry is going to do about his best friend.

The ball sounds great but Hermione seemed so stressed that she might not have enjoyed the very beginning of it. Ron kind of sank into a dark place at the very start and by the time Hermione was dancing with her mystery man, I was stressed out but happy for her to smile a little.

And what a surprise...Draco Malfoy! You write him so differently from the monster that I've created (A Force of Wills, Grey, Monsters in the Dark and Bitter Longing all center around a very nasty piece of Malfoy's personality) and I love it! He's done so much for the community and even built the memorial for Harry's parents?! What?! I hope we learn more about him soon!

So, great first chapter! Haunt my review thread if you have time!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #9, by Ron Chapter 2.

16th July 2015:
Is it really important to turn Ron into a horrible person and Hermione into a pathetic hag

Author's Response: How is he a horrible person for having alcohol dependency? You clearly have never been around someone who has had the problem. If you don't want to read the story, no one is forcing you.

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Review #10, by Ron Chapter 3.

16th July 2015:
I find it hard to believe that ron would do that

Author's Response: We'll call it artistic differences then.

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Review #11, by Amanda Chapter 3.

15th July 2015:
This is a great story! I'm really looking forward to the reveal.

Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda! Just two more chapters after this one - I really hope you stick around!

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Review #12, by Angel_Princess87 Chapter 3.

14th July 2015:
Good read :) Ready for chapter 4! :))

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! They mean so much for me ♥ I hope you enjoy it now that it's posted :D

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Review #13, by bittersweetflames Chapter 2.

5th July 2015:
BAHAHAHA. Here again...
Okay, so first off. I love Ginny. She is SUCH a child... Or, at the very least, she acts like she's back at Hogwarts.. This is what Hermione needs anyway so it's all good. :)

So, okay, I'm really glad you didn't drag out the whole Ron and Hermione relationship and that you ended still giving Ron his dignity.

Anyway, the ball! THE BALL! Draco really has TASTE in dresses, doesn't he? That sly man. Who would've thought... -evil laugh-
I felt sorry for both of them when Kingsley stole Hermione for the unveiling... Waiting TWO YEARS to get to know who someone is? That's just PAINFUL. xD
It's really Draco's fault anyway.. why would he charm his hair black? lol

ANYWAY, I demand chapter 3 tout de suite... OKAY. OFF TO POKE YOU on iMessage and Skype.. gar

--Carla

Author's Response: I kind of want to write a Ginny story in the future too o: I mean basically everyone is getting a spin off in the other story, SO WHY NOT IT ALL WORKS.

And you got chapter three ;) so calm yourself.


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Review #14, by bittersweetflames Chapter 1.

5th July 2015:
Cassie!! Darling, you really are on FIRE with these last minute submissions. :) Anyway, I'm not going to go into any typos or whatnot here as I'm going to editing this eventually, anyway, BUT I really love the way you've set up the entire thing... Ron is just sad, isn't he? I'm actually quite surprised that Hermione is still with him... I'd have shed him a looong time ago if it were me but she has more patience and tolerance than I do.

I love that you gave Hermione that small moment of fun and wonder during the ball.. Of course, I'm intrigued to know who the masked man is (OK, NOT REALLY, since I KNOW) but it was intriguing the way you set it up...

Anyway, completely loved this! GET RID OF RON, HERMIONE.
Woohps, sorry, I do NOT know where that came from.

All the love in the world,

Carla
(WE WILL RULE SOMEDAY!)

Author's Response: CARLANOODLE (you should know my iPad autocorrected to that)

I'm sure you have no idea where that came from ;) haha. And she does love him lots and lots so she would stick around.


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