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Reading Reviews for first
57 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dark Whisper first time

5th February 2017:

Congratulations on your Dobby nomination!
Your story is quite sweet and I want to congratulate you on finishing your first multi-chapter story. Great job!

I must say that I love that Esme has not had the "apple pie" kind of example for marriage. This lends realism as so many people have come from broken homes and have a difficult time believing in the possibility of love lasting. You brought the feelings of many to light; this cause/effect of seeing marriages dissipate.

I love that it was her mother's words that helped her sort out the reason for her feelings and see how important love truly is. Wonderful!

My favorite piece of your writing must be the lines regarding how her mother and her had their hands over their hearts, realizing that their men were "not there." So powerful, this is the stuff of excellent writing!

My heart also squeezed when Esme revealed that somehow she always brought anger out of people. In her mind, Albus was no different. Oh, my Black stars, that is so very heartfelt and sad, but the character development leaped from the page. Her absence from family for a year fits these feelings of not wanting to anger anyone, but that is precisely the effect of doing so. Brilliant characterization again. It is true to life. It's an error that feeds the fear.

I adored their first kiss, a bit forceful, but not unwelcome. And I love Albus with his quiet longing, letter writing, and lovely persistence in writing her mother.

Fluffy romance stories have their place, but I prefer stories that are in the more realistic realm... loneliness, disbelief, reluctance, emotional flaws... with some sort of redemption in the end. Hope should falter before slowly rising. This is what I crave to read (and write) and your story certainly fits these pieces of the best romantic puzzles.

Excellent work, bittersweetflames... and my best wishes.

Dark Whisper

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin first time

9th September 2015:
This... I... You... How can I say how happy I am now??? She believes! Finally! I'm just ecstatic!!!

I wanted to try to write this review en français, but it seems I'm unable to do so... :P

Anyway, I feel so relieved that she's finally decided to take the risk and let herself believe that love is, if not always perfect, at least possible! And I really want to believe that they'll get all the happiness possible!

And congratulations on finishing your first multichaptered story!!! ;)
And I'm so thrilled you're planning a companion piece in Albus' POV! We should do another multiswap when you do, what do you think? :) (by the way, why stop with your "F" tradition? I think it's cool! :P)

Anyway, ma cherie, this was just a wonderful closing to an absolutely amazing story!
Merci beaucoup!!!

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Review #3, by Felpata Lupin first heartbreak

6th September 2015:
Hi again, Carla!
Back again for our multichap swap! :)

I'm happy and sad at the same time with this chapter... Happy because Gabrielle finally divorced and Esme decided not to marry Denis, which I do believe is a good thing for them both! But sad because she still seems unable to just trust people to be able to love and to care for her without asking anything back... I really wish she could see how many wonderful people she has around. And I really wish she realized Albus could really make her happy, if only she gave him an occasion... (but there is one last chapter, so I shall not give up hope...)

Teddy and Victoire seem the perfect couple, and that's so sweet!!! I loved the little snippets about their family, so cute!!!

And I enjoyed your introduction of Scorpius here, and the fact that he's going to marry Rose! Ahahah! I loved how he embarassed Albus!!!

Albus and Esme's conversation was so sweet, too... And Albus is so clearly in love with her... He's just so adorable!!!

Great work on this chapter, too!
Much love,

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Review #4, by Felpata Lupin first kiss

4th September 2015:
Hello, dear Carla!
Back here for our multichap swap (it's taking me a bit longer than I hoped... sorry...)

Oh, poor Esme... :(
I sort of understand that she doesn't believe in true love and all that when her parents have such a skrewed up relationship... But I have to agree with Albus, it doesn't mean she has to just marry the first guy who asks, especially if she can see in him the same angry attitude of her father! But I suppose I'm making it easier than it is...

I was kind of surprised by James' behaviour. I mean, I understand his anger. After all, he's seen his little brother suffering... I still can't believe that he would carry her with such violence... I'd have believed he would show more gentleness...

I can't really understand Esme either... Months in England and she didn't contact her relatives once? Stop writing that way all of a sudden? Of course Albus would worry about her... I know she felt obligated to obey her fiancé (I don't know why, but that's another matter...), still how could she not realize the consequencies for other people's feelings?

The only person I do understand here is Albus. Obviously he's angry for the way he's been treated, but he's also sensible enough to see Esme's pain and console her. And he is frustrated by her lack of self respect. And, well... I just adore his character!!!

I'm not sure what the point of this review is... But know that you really made me feel a lot of emotions reading this chapter! I love your writing, it's really addicting!!!

I'll be back here for more, hopefully soon!
Thank you again for swapping!
Much love,

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Review #5, by Felpata Lupin first moment

1st September 2015:
Hey, Carla!
Back here for our swap!!! :)

Oh, this was so adorable!
Lily is just great! She does resemble a lot Luna in her attitude! She seems to have an original but very deep way to understand things and people! And she's also so cheerful!!!

And, well... this is interesting news... Albus has been talking about Esme a lot... Love this!!!

The conversation between the two girls was just so honest and sweet, I just adored it!!!

And Albus... He is so lovely!!! I really adore the fact that he wants to help her finding happiness! So sweet and lovely! And by the way, I loved their exchange about what make them happy!

I would love to go on reading, but I'm kind of exausted (damned fever...), so I'm afraid you'll have to wait for my next review...

Absolutely stunning job so far, darling!
See you soon!

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Review #6, by MuggleMaybe first time

1st September 2015:

I'm not... I can't... I don't...
I'm not really in very good shape for review leaving at the moment, to tell you the truth. (Blame the feels!)

Esme is a captivating person, I really feel for her, and you've developed the story so nicely over the course of this piece.

It is a beautiful story. And by beautiful, I don't mean "nice" or "well written" or "excellent" (although it is all of those things, absolutely). I mean it is a BEAUTIFUL story. Like a fairy tale.

I am so glad to hear you are writing Albus' point of view - I am totally in love with your Albus!

You're amazing, chère.

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Review #7, by merlins beard first time

31st August 2015:
Hi Carla!
I only reviewed the last chapter this morning and now you updated already. I love it! It's such a beautiful, believeable end to this story, and it happened almost exactly like I thought it would. I really like that Gabrielle also plays a big part in finally getting Esme to see sense.

Sorry for the short review, I don't have much time right now.

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Review #8, by CassiePotter first time

31st August 2015:
CARLA. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. I'm so happy but so sad at the same time! I'm so, so happy that Esme finally opened up her heart to love, and that she found her way back to Albus. The way they found each other again was just so beautifully done! It felt so natural and gradual, and I loved that you didn't rush things. Esme had to understand that love was possible and that she could find it for herself before she could be happy with Albus, and I loved how it was something that she learned over time.
I thought Rose was lovely, and I really liked the way you wrote her and Scorpius together.
The end of this was just so sweet! I'm really sad it's over, but I'm so excited to read this from Albus's POV!
This was an amazing story, and I'm so glad I read it! Everything about it was just wonderful.
Cassie :)

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Review #9, by merlins beard first heartbreak

31st August 2015:
Hey Carla,
I finally made it, I'm so sorry for taking so long.
This story was so addictive that I couldn't stop reading after only a chapter or two, I just had to keep going, and I was so disappointed when I reached the end of this chapter and found that that's it for now...

I love the concept of Albus and Esme meeting every two years or so. A lot can happen during that time... and a lot does happen, but Esme doesn't really change. She's been hurt a lot, and she seems very fragile. Albus would be so good for her, if she could just let herself be happy.

I feel so sorry for Gabrielle, she really didn't deserve a husband like that. It has made me very happy that she decided to get out of that relationship - almost as happy as to find out that Esme didn't get married.
I have no idea how you do it, but you made me ship Albud/Esme with all my heart (even tho Albus is gay in my headcanon)...
This is going on my reading list, and I'll definitely be back for the next chapter. I can't wait!

Lots of love

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Review #10, by alicia and anne first crush

30th August 2015:
Ahhh! It's this story! Yay! I'm so glad that you suggested this one to read :D I loved the first chapter :D

I think that it would be very hard for any other building in the wizarding world to beat the feel of home that The Burrow has. I want to live there so badly!

Awww she's so cute being excited about wearing her heels :D

Awww look at them two talking! They're so adorable! And she can't be cynical of love when Albus is right there! He shall be your love, he will make you change your mind one day Esme.

And they're going to dance! Aw they make me so happy!

ALBUS IS THE NICEST GUY!!! And Harry has done such an amazing job with him.

Awww I can't wait to read more of these two and see how they get through life together. They're just so adorable! You write them so amazingly

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Review #11, by Felpata Lupin first crush

24th August 2015:
Oh, Albus really is nice!!!
Poor Esme, she still feels so out of place and she has such a sad family situation... I suppose it would be hard to believe in love when your parents fight... But Ted and Victoire seems to sincerely love each other!!!
It was cute to see Esme and Albus back together! He is just so kind, and the way she sees him is just adorable! I really loved how you wrote them dancing! It was all very sweet!!!
I have to leave now, but I'll be back on this story soon!!! Really loved it so far!!!

Many hugs,

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Review #12, by Felpata Lupin first meeting

24th August 2015:
Hey, Carla!
Here for our swap!!!
And, wow... This was so cute!!! Really a great start for a story!!!

I had kind of forgotten about Gabrielle too... It's interesting to see her and her children in a story! And Esme seems a great OC so far! Good job with her!!!

I can sympathize with her. I'm not the most social of people and I find it really difficult to fit in. And it is particularly difficult when you are the unknown one among people who know each other well... Poor Esme, she seems to be so lonely all the time... :(

Albus seems a really sweet boy, though! He is the only one who seems to notice her staying there on her own. Probably because he is so lonely too? From what you wrote, it sounds like he was sorted in Slytherin and his siblings and cousins have been avoiding him because of that... It isn't very kind of them all... But I suppose I'll know more if I keep reading (which I'm going to do right now!!!)

Great job so far, loved it!!!
Much love,

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Review #13, by MuggleMaybe first heartbreak

23rd August 2015:
Yes, I know the chapter is called "First Heartbeak" but I couldn't help but hope you were just trying to mislead us...

Despite the sad feels, this is an excellent chapter, and both characters are growing and changing in very believable ways. I'm especially proud of Esme and her mother for getting away from bad relationships. That isn't an easy thing.

You know I love this story - I can't wait to read the last (hopefully happier) chapter!

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Review #14, by Aphoride first kiss

23rd August 2015:
Hey Carla! :) Dropping by for our review swap (and the BvB fest)! I'm so glad you posted it, because I really love this story, so it's so great to get a chance to come back to it :P :)

I really love Esme, as I've said before, and how you develop her. She's sort of fragile, but in the kind of way where she wants to be so strong, and wants to make herself so strong - almost cold - because that's easier than being weak or emotional and seeming weak, you know? Which is a really lovely and interesting way to take a character - it's not one you see very often! I always feel so sorry for her in ways in this story, but strangely not at the same time, too, because she gets a bad lot, it's true, but she sort of doesn't quite let it define her as such, and she manages to deal with it all extremely well :)

Your Albus is so amazing. I love how worried he was about her when she stopped writing, how angry he is that she was so close and never thought to stop by - yeah, he gets angry, but there's a lovely undertone of caring about it: that he was so worried and so angry because he cares about her, and it's something which is so true to life, too, which I love. And James... haha, yeah, I'm an older sister, and it's such an older sibling reaction, and I love it :P The angry, the irritation that someone, knowingly or not, has made your little sibling upset... yeah, it happens :)

Your writing in this is so lovely, as always - you have this wonderful way of describing things, and this brilliant, unique voice for Esme which I love, there's this kinda French twist to it which is so clever and so subtle but so right, you know, and it's all so so impressive. The other thing I love so much about this is how well you do at filling in the information between scenes, in the dialogue and the thoughts of the characters in the scenes we see. When you're skipping time as you do, it's so so important to get it right, the whole show not tell thing, and you do it so well here. I loved that Esme flees her parents' failing relationship, but can't quite see that hers with Denis could potentially go the same way, and how she works in England but never says to any of her Weasley cousins. It says so much in so few words, and I love it, really! :)

This is a wonderful story - but then you know I think that - and thank you so much for the swap - I really gotta keep up better with this! :)

Aph xx

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Review #15, by aurevoir first heartbreak

16th August 2015:


Also - "“So… have you been reading my letters then,” he asked cassually, ignoring what she’d just said." - should be casually ;) it bothered me.

But I love this chapter - I love the added part with Scorpius saying she doesn't look anything like the girls Albus has been dating. Because it enforces the idea that he's really trying to get away from anything that reminds him of Esme.

But seriously, I love this story so much. I've really enjoyed reading it and seeing the story develop, even just between betaing it and seeing what else you add to it.


I love that you tie in the Rose/Scorpius stories you've written into this. I love Esme and Albus - Esme is the typical person I would expect from her household. I also like that her mom tries to push her towards Albus [because that's how I imagine it because I like to think that they all expect the two to get together and just roll their eyes as the two of them end up apart like this].

But yes. LOVE YOU AND THIS STORY boolamptwinpooppoohbeartiggerlovingiforgottherest carla ♥ ♥


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Review #16, by Shinicha first meeting

15th August 2015:
hey! i found this story via the charactarization of the month in the ravenclaw common room :)

This is really a lovely start to a story. Esme seems like a very real personality already, so I think she's going to be a wonderful OC.

I think it's also interesting that her connection with Albus starts at this young age - and him as well, his insecurities about being the Slytherin of the family ...

Can't wait to read on!

(Sorry that the review is so short, I admit I get a bit lazy late at night ^^°)

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Review #17, by CassiePotter first heartbreak

10th August 2015:
Awww this chapter made me so sad! But also kind of hopeful... I was glad to see that Esme broke off her engagement! She really didn't seem like she was happy to be getting married, and Denis didn't sound like a great guy. I'm also really happy to see that her mother divorced her father! Her father sounded really awful, and I'm glad that her mother is happier now that she doesn't have to worry about him.
I loved Albus and Esme's conversation. I thought it was really interesting that she admitted to thinking about him! I expected her to deny it. But since she did admit it, maybe something more will happen between them soon?
I loved Scorpius! I thought it was hilarious that he was so forward with Esme. But I think it was a push in the right direction if she and Albus are going to get together!
I really hope that Esme opens herself up to Albus. Albus seems really comfortable talking about his emotions, and I think he could develop real feelings for Esme and then talk about those feelings rather quickly. But Esme just seems so resigned to the fact that love doesn't exist, and it makes me sad. I'm hopeful that Albus can show her that she can fall in love, though!
This was a great chapter, Carla!
Cassie :)

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Review #18, by TreacleTart first crush

10th August 2015:
Hey Carla,

I'm here for our review swap! Sorry I couldn't get to it last night, but I was falling asleep at my computer and I wanted to leave you a coherent review.

Anywho...on to the story!

Esme seems a bit more confident than she did in the last chapter, but I suppose that sort of growth happens with age. It would be pretty childish if she was still the same person she was three years prior.

I giggled when she started crying at the wedding because I knew she was going to bump into Albus. She seems to be setting a pattern of him only ever seeing her straight after she's been in tears.

Albus is just so sweet in this. Seriously, you've written the perfect guy. He's got a sense of humor. He teases Esme just a little bit. He compliments her. He asks her deep questions about love and then he dances with her. Where can I find a guy like that? LOL.

I wonder when the next time Esme and Albus will meet is and if they will start to fall for each other. It certainly seems like they have an interest in each other.

Oh and in reference to your author's note, I love your explanation for why you made Albus the way he is. I too picture him being similar to Harry in that he's just a nice person.

Good work here!


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Review #19, by CassiePotter first kiss

1st August 2015:
Oh my gosh. THE FEELINGS.
So Esme is in Britain now! And working at the Ministry, too. She's been so careful to avoid Albus, but she should have known that she'd either run into him or someone in his family sooner or later!
I was really surprised at how angry James got with Esme! I thought his interactions with her showed how protective he was of his brother, and I thought it was a really interesting contrast to the experiences Esme has had with Albus and Lily. You've shown the Potter siblings' three unique personalities really well!
I can't believe she's engaged! And at such a young age, too! Honestly, from what we know of Esme's father, is Denis is anything like him, it makes me really nervous for Esme. He sounds pretty controlling which isn't a good sign.
AND THEN THE KISS. I wasn't expecting that at all! But now that it's happened, I'm really excited to see where Esme and Al's relationship goes. Obviously there are feelings there, but since Esme is engaged nothing can happen between them. And she doesn't seem like the type to break things off with her fiancé. I really hope Denis doesn't find out about Albus and Esme kissing! I have a feeling that his reaction would be really bad and maybe scary.
This was a brilliant chapter! I can't wait for more!
Cassie :)

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Review #20, by alicia and anne first meeting

29th July 2015:
Esmeraude sounds like such a girlie girl, I really like it. I'm jealous of her dress, I want one! It sounds so nice. :D

Awww does she not have nice family moments too often?

Poor Esme, she must feel so out of place surrounded by the Wotters, I hope that they make her feel welcome and she can find someone her age to talk to.

Oh no! Poor Esme, don't cry :( I'm glad that Albus is around to talk to her though.

Look at him giving her a scarf! He's so adorable! This was so sweet, and I can't wait to see more of Albus and Esme talking!

Such a sweet and adorable opening chapter, I really enjoyed reading it :D I'm excited to read more!

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Review #21, by TreacleTart first meeting

23rd July 2015:
Hey Carla!

I'm here for our review swap!

I picked this story for a multitude of reasons. First is because this is for the Taylor Swift Quote Challenge and I was curious to see what you'd done for it. Second was because I saw that this was the first time you'd written an OC, so I was intrigued to see what sort of character you'd created.

So I'll start my review with the most important part. Your OC, Esme! I thought that you've done a lovely job of creating an OC who actually fits into the story. It makes sense that Gabrielle would've had her own children, so Esme's relationship with everyone makes sense. Since Gabrielle is quite a bit younger than Fluer, it also makes sense that Esme would be significantly younger than her cousins as well, and possibly struggle to find companionship with them because of the age difference. It also seems natural that she might make friends with Albus since he's one of the babies of the Weasley clan. I guess what I'm saying with all this rambling is that Esme is well written so far and you've used very logical reasoning on how to include her.

I'm quite curious to see how you will continue her story along. Does she disappear back to France or will her family stick around for awhile? I feel like the introduction to Albus means that they'll be visiting for a bit, but you never know.

Anyway, I thought this was a good first chapter. You've set up the different family members and relationships in a way that is very easy to grasp. You've given me enough information to get invested in the characters and you've withheld enough for me to want to read the next chapter. Good work!


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Review #22, by Chivalrous first kiss

21st July 2015:
I adore this story! Albus is absolutely precious and is a wonderful human being. Your portrayal of him is one that I just love!

Esme is a great OC and you've done brilliant work with her! James was a wonderful minor character as well!

I can't wait for the next chapter, because this story is so good!


Author's Response: Ireland! :)

I was so shocked to see a review... Thank you so much! I am glad you like both Albus' and Esme's characterizations. :)

The next chapter is definitely coming soon, I promise! :D


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Review #23, by blackballet first kiss

21st July 2015:
I'm so obsessed! The characters really brought me in. I can't wait to read more.


Author's Response: Catherine, you beautiful person! Thank you! :D I'm definitely going to update soon since I have the firsts drafts of the last two chapters done.:D I'm glad you like it, though. :)


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Review #24, by tangledconstellations first crush

21st July 2015:
Hey Carlaa! ♥

Esme is absolutely the cutest! She's such a brilliant OC, I can see why you like her so much. She just seems so wise beyond her years, and I like that she's sort of cynical, too, if that makes sense? In some ways, I wonder if its something that will change about her - whether Albus will bring some optimism to her life? But for the moment, I really do think she is brilliant. She's likable enough, yet she's not over the top or anything. I think you've written her really well.

The time jump between Albus and Esme's meetings is really interesting! I wasn't sure how this fic would progress, whether we would carry on from their last meeting or something, but I like that instead we are bounding between the different moments of their blossoming friendship. Albus is really lovely, too. I agree with your explanation for his character in your author's note. Like, in the books Harry had such a clear moral compass and he was such a lovely person naturally, and I think given the right circumstances Albus would have that too. I feel like Harry wouldn't let his children get away with taking things for granted, which is perhaps why Albus would be so nice. But yeah - I really like the way you've written him :) especially after being the son of Harry and Ginny, it's almost expected that he would want the kind of relationship he sees in Teddy and Victoire (also, I just wrote Teddy and Dom by accident! Oops! I'll keep my headcanon's outta here!)

The wedding scenario was really nice, and I especially liked the way the other younger family members view the Burrow. I love the idea that it continues to be this hub of family activity, and that it doesn't ever get neglected. But again, what I think is most important is that Esme isn't fully close-family, and so she is on the sidelines. It does make her come across as very isolated still, which I think is very important in understanding her as a character. What I think is super interesting though is the way that Albus, who should technically be in the midst of feeling included within the family, being the son of the Boy Who Lived, after all!, Albus feels a bit 'on the outskirts' too. Perhaps it's just their nature. Maybe they are just two highly sensitive individuals? Nonetheless, I like that they have that in common, and that it's something that is still drawing them closer.

OH, one more thing! I loved that Esme's hair and dress matched the scarf Albus gave her all of those years ago. Perhaps she did it on purpose, subconsciously, because she knew he would be there? ♥ I also like the way she does have a developing crush on him but she's not dithery around him. She's really strong, and I like that she's quiet in her feelings for him, but is sharp-tongued around him all the same :)

Another fabulous chapter! I really love this story!

Laura xxx

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Review #25, by tangledconstellations first meeting

21st July 2015:
Heya lovely! ♥

Woohoo! I'm here for our review swap! :D

Gah, I thought this was so so lovely! Honestly, I think I am in love with this story and I'm definitely going to read more of this. I straight away love the tone of this first chapter, and this story feels really original. PLUS your writing is so beautiful throughout this!

I don't think I've ever really come across a story about Gabrielle that's more than a one-shot, let alone Gabrielle's family. You've done such an awesome job with setting up their individual family situation. I really liked that you hinted at some of their family problems in a really staggered way, so not as to 'info-dump' or anything. Like, the way Esme starts off desperate not to worry her mum, and then it comes out that her parents argue a lot and that it's something that really bothers her. It makes their family feel so much more real - and even though it's really sad, because poor Esme shouldn't have to see her parents fighting, you've presented it in a really legitimate and convincing way. I wonder if we will see more of them arguing in later chapters, and whether that too will be a part of the plot? OH - also, on the subject of Esme's family - I really liked that she is the middle child, between boys. I like that you've acknowledged that this would be something that affects her and that might make her feel left out. I often think about that a lot when reading Next-Gen stories - often all of the siblings gets along just fine and dandy, but I think it's so much more believable when their relationships are slightly more complex - especially as children grow up and mature at different paces! I really like Esme so far - she seems really mature already, but also really sad. I want things to work out for her so much!

Your writing is just wonderful in this chapter. I really liked the way everything is seen through Esme's eyes. Your descriptions are so beautiful - you include colour descriptions but in such a way that everything feels sort of pearlescent. They are tinted slightly with Esme's perspective and so they change the tone of this whole chapter. If I had to try and describe the tone I would say it is quite shy and quite uncertain, and I think that's because you have so successfully shown us how Esme is feeling, without explicitly saying it. One part I thought was lovely was the way, just before Albus arrives, a group of teenagers pass Esme by, but she can't distinguish between them. She can only catch little details, like someone's laughing blue eyes, someone's brown hair, but they're not there long enough for her to work out exactly who they are. This makes her come across as very isolated, and so when Albus does talk to her it really does feel like a saviour! But yeah your writing - I just love it. You write so fluidly and beautifully and you're just so able to shape the tone exactly how you want and it's always so brilliant! ♥

OK OK so lets actually talk about Albus properly!! Albus himself was just such a great character here. I am his number 1 fan at this point :D I really feel like you've written him so well. I absolutely love the way you've hinted at some of his insecurities, because in a way that draws us closer to him and in later chapters I really hope we see more of this. He just seems like such a convincing character, like you've considered so much about his personality and dropped it in at little points, but not all at once so it's not overbearing. You set up characters so well, really you do! I honestly think that's one of your strongest points as a writer - all of your characters are so real. The way he actually talks to Esme too is so charming. It was so cute when he wanted her to stop crying, but wasn't really sure how to do it :D he is just so natural, and he's so kind, too. It's lovely that the feeling of being isolated is what is bringing Esme and Albus together, because this is something that will make them feel less alone. I am so excited to see them interact more.

This was such an awesome first chapter and it was so enjoyable to read. I'm most definitely going to read more of this because you have got me extremely interested indeed! :D Ahhh I loved this - this was amazing!! ♥

Laura xxx

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