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Reading Reviews for Bloodlines
  
36 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Weasley55 Unravelling

27th June 2017:
I love this story! Please update soon

Author's Response: Thank-you! Am currently trying to write the next chapter, so hopefully I can get one posted before Uni starts back up! Thanks again, xxx

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Review #2, by poppy A broken mask

22nd June 2017:
omg plz keep writing,

Author's Response: :) am currently finishing a new chapter, but I've got one in the queue that should be up in a day or two... Thanks for the review, hope you keep reading :) xx

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Review #3, by poppy A broken mask

12th June 2017:
omg, plz keep writing! I love this story!

Author's Response: Thank-you!!! :) xx

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Review #4, by Weasley55 Monsters

6th April 2017:
I love this story! I can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon.

Author's Response: Thank-you! it's awesome to know people are enjoying it as much as i am writing it! I will try to have the next chapter out as soon as i can, just finishing some things for Uni before i can complete the next part to Bloodlines.
Hope you keep reading! Thanks again :) xx


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Review #5, by Potterhead1994 Reality Check

4th March 2017:
Well, this is an emotional chapter. I'm tearing up during this. I can't wait for the next one.

Author's Response: the next chapter should be up soon, so you won't have to wait too long for it - unfortunately, it's not any lighter than this one...
thanks for the review and for reading


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Review #6, by Abb Talk of the school

1st March 2017:
Please update asap this story is too good

Author's Response: Thank-you! Am just editing the next chapter, so it should be up soon :)

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Review #7, by Potterhead1994 Silencio

28th January 2017:
Is she seeing what Voldy's doing without realizing it? I need to know these things! I hope that if that's the case, it'll become clear eventually.

Author's Response: I can't reveal too much about Lyra's dreams without giving the game away, but what she sees is significant and somewhat related to what's going on in the Wizarding World (which is really vague, I'm sorry). Everything behind her dreams will get revealed in a couple of chapters, don't worry - it'll all become clear soon.

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Review #8, by ExplosiveBlunderbuss New Year's Eve - Part 2

28th November 2016:
Aww, what a lovely chapter. I'm glad we got to find out what happened with Lyra's muggle friends, and I'm also really happy she opened up to Sirius. Not to mention Lily and James finally kissing :D I can't wait for more.

Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it! it was about time that Lily and James got together - everyone'/ only been conspiring for it for forever haha :P
It would seem that Lyra's finally realized and started to accept that she's got people she can trust in her friends and Sirius


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Review #9, by ExplosiveBlunderbuss New Year's Eve - Part 1

26th November 2016:
I really love this story! I hope you update soon, I can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thank-you!! It's really amazing to know that people are enjoying it! And don't worry, I've got another chapter in line to be posted soon :)

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Review #10, by TheGirlWithThePinkBeret Welcome to the Potters'

31st May 2016:
I really enjoy reading this story! I'm looking forward to seeing how Lyra and Sirius progress with their friendship/relationship!

Author's Response: That's great to hear!! Thank-you so much! And from here on out there is definitely a lot more Sirius/Lyra interaction so we'll see how well they progress :) xx

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Review #11, by ladyrae Homecomings, Prank Wars and Christmas Revelations (Part Two)

22nd March 2016:
Glad you're back! AMAZING chapter. Love seeing these two start to get along, and I think you're writing it in a very organic way.can't wait for the next, and good luck with Uni!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank-you :) it's relieving to hear that their interactions are natural!! It's awesome to hear that you loved the chapter, hopefully the next part will be done soon :) thanks!!! Xx


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Review #12, by TearsIMustConceal Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I loved both the interactions between James and Lily, being all lovey-dovey and cute as always and then Lyra and Sirius on the other end of the scale, with Lyra in pain and Sirius being his sarcastic, usual self. I did love the threat of the spoon – it really made me laugh out loud. I can just imagine her face and Sirius slowly backing away. But i'd be like that to – I don't do anyone touching my food.

Ah, the Quidditch game, i've been waiting for this game! And i'm so glad Gryffindor won! Once again, I have to say I admire you writing Quidditch because I wouldn't know where to start but this was amazing and I could follow everything that was going on and it was amazing and I just loved it. You're such an amazing writer!

Aww, I love that her family came to see her. Her family are adorable and cute and I love them altogether! I love her Aunty, she's blunt and sarcastic and that's my favourite type of character. Lyra and her Aunty seem very alike. And her mum was everything I was expected she would be when she met Lily and everyone. I think bringing her family in to see her was a lovely touch to the chapter and it worked so well.

Oh no, what happened? Is this the exhaustion finally taking it's toll. I hope she's okay and that she finally tells someone what's going on! Oh, so does Madam Pomfrey know and she's covering for her? Poor Lyra, but James and Lily were adorable like usual!

This chapter was jam-packed and I can't wait for the next one!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Yeah the two pairs are rather the anti-thesis of each other in their friendships, but that's what makes their group so interesting.
Never mess with a sleepy, hungry Lyra. It'd be like tickling a sleeping dragon, definitely not a good idea.
Naw, thank-you ! that means a lot to hear! xx
Aine is definietly a fiery character, one that Lyra emulates as a role model.
Unfortunately, yeah, Lyra's rocky sleep schedule has finally caught up with her. And yes, Poppy knows Lyra's secret - there's a reason to that that'll be explained in a couple of chapters.

Hope you keep reading and enjoy the coming chapters and rest of the story/what i have planned!
thanks again,
xxx


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Review #13, by TearsIMustConceal Apologies

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I love that they've all just settled into a routine with each other. That's the sign of true friendship right there. James' shock at Lily's betting...utterly adorable and it's like he saw her in a completely different light again. I swear, they're the cutest! And Lily agreed to the bet, she's so coming around to the idea of liking him. I love them both so much! Haha, James makes me laugh, his awe overcoming his devastation, this seems like typical James.

And he finally apologises...I was waiting for Sirius to it ever since Remus said he would. And I love how she stopped him because it was awkward. They're far more alike than they realise. I like how they've got common ground with Lily and James too and they're determination to get them together. And Sirius seeing that Lyra persuaded Lily to give James a chance, hopefully he'll start seeing her in a different light now but it's never that easy, is it? Now when it comes to these two!

I'm really loving the theory lessons about the magical creatures – I think I'm finding it more interesting than everyone else haha!

Lily being Lily, you write her so well. Her need to make sure Lyra is alright and having done her homework and whatnot, you really do have her spot on and I love reading her. And the end, where they're all laughing with each other. It's nice to see them just being kids and laughing and joking rather than worrying about the war.

Onto the next chapter!

-Vicki

Author's Response: I was a little worried that their routine as friends happened too 'suddenly', but i tried to make it as natural and realistic as possible. It's relieving to hear that it makes sense in a way that is enjoyable :)
Writing James as awestruck is great, because his character is otherwise rather egotistical and confident so his persona around Lily is hilarious... :P
I can't picture Sirius as the sort of person who says 'sorry' often, so it was going to take him a little longer to actually act upon the apology Remus had told Lyra was coming. It also wasn't going to be easy for him to say it either.
Hopefully, things get easier from here on out between Lyra and Sirius, but who knows... there may be altercations or disagreements in the future...
Thanks :) i try and reinforce the fact that they were incredibly young during the first wizarding war by portraying just how much of teenagers they are. Plus, writing the joking/teasing fluff scenes is always favourite of mine
xx


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Review #14, by TearsIMustConceal Family First

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

Aww, Alden's letter was adorable. I love that he's proud of her. I get why she's upset at his words – I don't think you ever realise how your own problems affect everyone else until they tell you and that's when it hits you and it's a pretty profound moment. Her reaction is so realistic and heartfelt and I can totally relate to her. And also, I definitely knew he told Professor Fawcett to keep an eye on her!

I really shouldn’t have inspected anything less than stimulating from you, Mr Yelich. - should be expected, not inspected.

a bull of energy - did you mean a ball of energy?

I love how Lily is seeing James in a different light and that he can helpful and sweet when he's not being arrogant and his usual self. And how she keeps a smile on her face when she talks about it – it's so cute. I also like how Lyra isn't afraid to tell Lily how it is, that she should have more fun and worry less and that she's doing an amazing job despite what Lily thinks.

I was waiting for Cato to appear and he finally did! I love them – the banter between them is funny and sassy and so believable. You've really got their relationship down because you can instantly feel the bond they have together and that they're the ones who are the closest. It's only natural she wants to become an Auror, especially with everything going on and seeing her Dad and Cato doing the job and I can definitely understand why they wouldn't want her to do it. You've got such a talent for writing heartfelt scenes, I love reading them so much.

And now we see her connection to the war and now to the Order. I didn't actually expect that but after reading it, it totally makes sense and it's obvious her family is involved in it. I understand her trepidation in telling them all because you know it's obvious that the boys would want to join but I think telling them really cements her trust in them. I feel like here is where the action starts!

So excited for the next chapter!


-Vicki

Author's Response: Ah yes thanks, sometimes my eye for editing is a little shoddy so I don't always see everything :)
and yes i did mean ball haha not bull.
Hehe, it's cool to hear people love her brothers as much as i do! I couldn't wait for the christmas break for her to see them or to hear from them again, so i thought i'd slip in a letter and a visitor. The scenes between her and her brothers are really easy and fun to right, so i try to incorporate them whenever i can :)
Hopefully the connection to the war and order wasn't too random or sudden, but i felt like i'd built up enough background that the serious stuff could start to happen.
And you're right, the action does start to pick up from here!

thanks :)
xx


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Review #15, by TearsIMustConceal Do you trust me?

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

The first Quidditch match. Got to admit, i'm glad the Puffs won, anyone but Slytherin! I loved it when James and Lyra both winced and automatically rubbed the areas they'd been hit by Yelich – that bit made me smile and I don't know why, maybe it because they were in sync! You write the Quidditch match really well – I can't write Quidditch to save my life so I put my hands up to you for writing it – so, so brave. Haha, so Lyra did tell the boys what her brothers used to get up to? I can just imagine both James and Sirius sitting there, taking it all in and deciding how they could do it better and not get caught.

Oh wow, I have no words for Madame Puddifoot. That went from amusing when Lyra was apologising to downright cruel. I never expected that but it would make sense – the war has everyone scared and I guess those that are scared see all Pureblooded families as a source of the evil and it makes sense that they tar them all with the same brush, so to speak. However, it was really uncalled for and I am so glad Lyra called her out on it because she doesn't deserve the label of 'girls like you' when she did nothing wrong. Poor Lyra but i'm glad she stood up for herself and had none of it.

I loved Lyra and Lily's heart to heart. I actually don't think she went off on her too much – I think it was justly deserved but I can understand the embarrassment of losing your cool in front of people. It's not very dignified sometimes but her walking away, she kept her dignity. Ha, using Lily's words against her. Her reasoning about James though are right and I hope Lily finally sees it. But I like that she admitted she was scared because it's so realistic. It's hard when you do care what people think of you to do something different because they will talk about you but I love how Lyra made her see that as long you know deep down, it doesn't matter what others think and i'm so happy she's going to give him a chance! Such a cute moment between them both!

The nightmare was different this time. Poor Lyra, she really does have some horrible, scary dreams sometimes and that must be hard to cope with.

Aww Remus is so cute. I love that he doesn't want to lose her friendship and that he realises that they are true friends, despite not being so for long. I guessed Sirius' reaction but I thought it might have been a bit more muted after their own conversation about secrets. He should know she is true to her word but he is Sirius and he's protective over his friends so i'm not too surprised.

I do get his reservations about double agendas – he's grown up in a world full of double agendas but I do wish he would see that Lyra is completely genuine – I just don't think she can win with him, not yet anyway. He really needs to evaluate his opinions on her eventually, hopefully the boys will help him see that she's genuine and not a threat to his life or his friends.

I love Lyra and Remus. They're just so adorable as friends. The way he tensed but she instantly relaxed. You just know that deep down he's scared that what Black said would push her away but he should know that she's not that easy to push away. And I love that she admitted to Remus all the things she did to Sirius to get him back. She's a smart one, not getting caught.

Oh no, it had to be werewolves, didn't it? I wonder how that is going to go down.

Another amazing chapter!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Ah yes, a lot happened in this chapter - like a lot, i just couldn't stop writing it.
Oh that's a relief that the quidditch scene came out well, i wasn't a little uncertain how to write it to start with so i just tried whatever seemed natural.
Hopefully her confrontation with Madam Puddifoot wasn't too harsh or brash, but i couldn't see Lyra's character as taking any comments like that lightly or without standing up for herself.
There heart-to-heart was a cute moment, and a favourite to write of mine as it was a huge step in their friendship, so i'm super glad someone else enjoyed it as well.
But of course, it's one step forward with Sirius and two steps back, he just doesn't seem to see the fact that Lyra is trustworthy... Hopefully he will soon :)
thank-you
xxx


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Review #16, by TearsIMustConceal Thestrals

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

She finally heard from her nan, despite her disappointment that it was small. I wanted to know if she had gone through the same thing Lyra is going through but you didn't tell us! I want to know! But I definitely agree with her nan that she has to tell someone eventually. And yes for seeing remus face to face since the hospital wing – the way he was relieved when Lyra smiled at him – this is why I love Remus; he is just so cute.

Another nightmare and now she's finally seen how the deaths happened. So is this a premonition or has this already happened? The way she writes it in her diary, saying it was the same family again, makes me wonder. So many possibilities! And once again, your descriptions are so, so good! Honestly, they are so vivid and I can picture everything so clearly! You have such a talent!

Oh Professor Fawcett, making Lyra talk about the Thestrals, I thought that was a little cruel making her admit to the class that she could see them. I can understand Lyra's reluctance, it's not something you want to remember, seeing your uncle die. A quick question though, can Lyra only see them because her Uncle died? Because i'm sure that it's mentioned somewhere at the beginning of the novel that she's been able to see them since she started? Or i've read that wrong and just ignore me. But still, it must be hard having to talk about it then deal with pitying stares.

Lyra recalling getting kicked out of the Hogsmeade shops – you just know Potter wants to know so he can take some ideas for him and Black. But I love how Lyra and Black have this pact to get James and Lily together finally. I think it's cute.

Even though this was a filler, I really enjoyed it and I can't wait for the next chapter, especially if the story is beginning to move forwards!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review, I'm loving reading your commentary and thoughts as you progress through the book. It's refreshing to see another perspective on what I've written :) Seeing her Uncle's death is one of the reasons why she can see thestrals, however there is another reason one that's caused her to see them since she started at Hogwarts - but it's a secret she's not yet ready to reveal. Do not fret! All shall be revealed soon... Well, not soon soon, but the first experience is explained in a couple or so chapters! Sorry for that confusion though xx
As for her nightmares, I can't give away too much because it would reveal her big secret before I've even posted it or she's talked about it, but they do have something to do with her past and her sometimes off behavior.
Thanks again :) xoxo


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Review #17, by TearsIMustConceal Letters

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I liked the Lyra/Sirius interactions! Sure, it began with smirks and cruel words and whatnot but I like how he finally let her show what was bothering him. And then his words afterwards, about Lyra knowing nothing but love from her family made me think that maybe jealousy is apart of his dislike of her – she's had everything he hasn't had from his own pureblood family; her family is the opposite to his, despite them both being pureblodded and it must sting that Lyra has this relationship he has never felt from anyone despite the Potters. It makes sense that he must feel the sting of being rejected from his family, even if he doesn't believe in their views. Being disowned by your family must hurt, regardless of what has gone on between them.

I also loved how Lyra spoke about her own past, she had the instinct that Sirius wouldn't trust her, believe her without her sharing bits of her own past that have been less than desirable, like Sirius thinks. I'm not surprised she jumped into battle with her Dad, she seems the type to do anything for her family, despite her own feelings. What a horrible memory in her past but I like that we see her connect with Sirius on a level, even if it was over a horrible thing.

I really feel like this could be a turning point in their acquaintance and although it might take him a while to come around to her, he might start seeing her in a different light.

Amazing chapter, it's nice to see these two interact properly without the others being buffers. And once again, your writing is superb!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Phew! It's good to hear that this scene came out the way i want it to and not too rushed or far-fetched in terms of the development between their characters as i guess you could say 'frenemies'.
I tried to use this chapter as a beginning of a bridge between Lyra and Sirius, so i'm glad it was picked up that Lyra was trying to establish some trust between her and Black.
Thank-you !! xxx


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Review #18, by TearsIMustConceal Fear, Acceptance and Denial

6th March 2016:
Back again for the HPFF review-a-thon!

I like how you used Remus' POV here – I think it really worked and it was nice to see his fears and emotions at Lyra knowing about his problem. And it as lovely to see him believe in hope and that Lyra instilled that in him. Everything she said to him was true and I love that he felt a warmth that she knew and she didn't turn him away or treat him differently or even just walk away from him and his friendship. It was such a cute moment and I felt myself smiling at the cuteness of Remus. And I love how Lyra also had a smile on her face after their 'talk' and that she didn't have any nightmares. Hopefully this will make her realise that she can talk to him or any of them about her own problems eventually.

Aww, Remus talking to James. It must be hard for him, growing up thinking he's a monster and he's worthless – that's a hard mindness to overcome and it's realistic that he still feels that way, despite the acceptance he's had from the other Marauders, Lily and now Lyra.

I like how James' opinion of her has changed into a positive one. I love that they're all finally seeing her differently, not just the girl who didn't really socialise with anyone. So the boys know about Sirus' problem with Lyra? I like how Remus is trying to protect her from him, at least for now anyway but it's definitely going to come out eventually. Remus' insistence though, is there more to dislike than just the fact he doesn't trust her because she's a pureblood or is there more? I'm intrigued! But I like how James agreed – they obviously know what Sirius is like and know that Lyra doesn't deserve the reaction she would get from him.

Another amazing chapter! You conveyed Remus' emotions perfectly and using his POV was a nice touch to the chapter. His reactions and feelings and words were all so realistic and believable. This was definitely one of my favourite chapters so far. I also love how we're beginning to see how the others see Lyra, rather than just seeing how Lyra sees all of them.

-Vicki

Author's Response: Oh yay, that's great to hear. I thought that his POV would work better so that an understanding of how Lyra is perceived by others could be reached. I also wanted to try and develop Remus' character a little more in terms of the story because i just love him :)
Thanks, it is good to know that how I've written him is a decent attempt at a portrayal, and that how i think he'd be feeling is coming off my writing in a way that makes sense :)
thanks again
xx


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Review #19, by TearsIMustConceal The Shielded Bed

6th March 2016:
HPFF review-a-thon!

Back again for the review-a-thon!

Haha, I can empathise with her curiosity – I have to know things as well. And I would be immediately intrigued if someone pulled the curtain around something I wasn't allowed to see – I'd just have to know but I do have my suspicions that it's Remus behind the curtains so I can't see it being long before Lyra finds out. She even turned to homework – that's when you know you're bored!

Oh Lily, she's such a mother hen, you've got to love her. And we're back to the bickering – I just love James and Lily and I love the slow build up you're giving us – it's really working. Ahh, Lyra is realising that James didn't come to see her – and the pieces have finally come together. I knew it wouldn't take her too long to figure it all out.

Although this was a short chapter, there was so much included, espeically with Lyra's realisation that it's Remus in the bed. I like that she knows – I think if you would have had her ignore it, it wouldn't have worked because she's the type of character to notice things.

This was another well written chapter and I am so hooked on this story now! You're writing flows perfectly and you have such a talent for dialogue, which I find extremely hard writing – I'm jealous of your skills!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Curiosity is a tricky thing haha, and for Lyra's case it tends to get her into a fair bit of trouble.
She's fairly decent at her problem-solving ole Lyra, probably has something to do with her detective/auror genes...
Aw, thank-you, it's really awesome to hear that you love my writing style! means a lot as well xx


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Review #20, by TearsIMustConceal Chapter five: Unexpected

6th March 2016:
HPFF review-a-thon!

Back again for the review-a-thon!

Ahh, so she talks to her Nana about the nightmares? And that her Nana understands? Does that mean she's suffered from them too? Is there were the title 'Bloodlines' comes from? Does it run in the family? Sorry i'm bombarding you with so many questions, I can't help it though! Things are getting interesting! I also loved the comedic undertones in the letter – Lyra saying to her Nana to 'let her process' the idea of her having friends. It's nice to see she is still herself, despite the nightmares occurring more than usual.

Haha, Lyra besting Lily – it's not often that happens to the quick Lily Evans and I liked that they all joined in to tease her about it. And then the blushing and glances between Lily and James...I love how their relationship is progressing realistically and you're not rushing them into something that just wouldn't work – I like the build up and cute blushes. Lyra has noticed how ill Remus looks before his 'furry little problem', which I found hilarious that Sirius tried to pass off as a rabid rabbit and that Remus had to catch it – it's a funny image!

An absent patient? Surely that's Remus?

Well, Rowle is a pleasure isn't he? No wonder Cato warned her about him. Poor Lyra though, not being able to defend herself from his spells but I liked that she didn't back down and continued to sass him, despite not having her wand to defend herself. It was probably stupid in the long run but it was funny see him get angrier at her for talking back to him. Lyra's attitude is amazing! Her saviours must be Sirius and James, surely? They always have a knack for coming to the rescue.

I like that despite being hurt by Rowle, Lyra doesn't want to upset her mum and cause her any pain, as well as her Dad – that's what you call a real family bond, trying to protect them. Plus it's quite obvious Cato would definitely come to school to kick Rowle's butt, which would be funny if it happened. Aww, they're all concerned – that's the beginning of a group friendship right there. Even if James is because she's on the team. And Sirus' face when Lyra mentioned her family being classed as blood traitors – it's nice to know he does know what she's going through.

Another amazing chapter!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Lyra's grandmother is her confidant, i guess you could say, and she spent a lot of time with her growing up, so when she's seeking advice her grandmother is the person she goes to. Whether or not it's because of a relation between nightmares or not or for another reason altogether... well all shall be revealed in due time!
Yay! I'm glad you like the build-up to Lily/James, i'm trying to make it as realistic as possible in that her change from hating him to liking him isn't spontaneous or random or too rushed.
Rowle is an absolute pleasure... unfortunately this won't be the last time he's seen by Lyra either... But i can't say too much about that without spoiling things so...
Thanks again for the review! xx


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Review #21, by TearsIMustConceal Chapter four: Insomnia

6th March 2016:
HPFF review-a-thon!

I asked about the nightmares in the last review and now we have one here! I'm glad, I was beginning to miss them actually and even though it was a small mention at the start, it was enough to keep me wanting to know more about them and why Lyra suffers from them! I really feel for her here – it must be so unsettling and scary and especially having no one to talk to about them. I hope she tells Lily soon. Your writing is amazing here – we really feel her emotions and the calmness she feels in the common room and I could picture the scene. Your descriptions are wonderful!

Lyra's sassiness to Sirius – it's so easy and I love it! And she's a dab at deflecting questions isn't she? I expected that though but it was only sooner or later that Lily was going to ask questions – now that they're established friends, she's going to ask until Lyra tells her or tells her to go away. I like how she's realised that having friends is good for her and that she's become accustomed to Lily's presence rather than being on her own. You can see Lyra growing and it's lovely.

A quick typo - “You sure you’re ok, Lyra, you really don’t look a hundred?”  Should that be 'a hundred percent' at the end?

Aww, Lyra feeling homesick. It must be hard after having her brothers there with her and now she's the only one left, especially considering how close she is to them. I love her ties to her family, it's sweet and realistic. I can't imagine being in a boarding school but I was away at university for 3 years, away from home and it was hard without seeing family everyday so I empathise with her on that. The aged parchment? Obviously the Marauder's map that Remus is trying to hide discreetly? It's no surprise Remus has noticed her avoidance either – Lyra needs to stop making friends with the smart ones if she wants to hide.

But the guilt she felt – I like that because it shows the depth of her new friendships – she feels guilty for hiding from Lily and not telling her where as the year before, she would never have felt that so it's nice to see her growing and feeling a part of a friendship where she knows she should tell Lily things, rather than hiding away like she's always done. I like how Remus didn't push her because you know he didn't believe her lie about the coffee – he's smart enough to know she'll come around eventually, in her own time. Lily is classic Lily here – I love how she's worried, I know i've said this so many times but I do love their friendship!

Ahh, the last part of the chapter! What does it mean, is it another nightmare? Something else? I need to know!

Turning the corner, I all but careen into an old lady walking her dog – I think you meant 'I all but career into an old lady walking her dog'? Careen doesn't make sense.

Another well written chapter! I'm loving this whole story so much!

-Vicki

Author's Response: It's great to hear that people actually like hearing/reading about her nightmares! Thank-you! Means a lot to hear that my portrayal of her emotions is coming off well :)
Where i'm from, we're really lazy speakers so instead of saying 'hundred percent' we just ask if you're feeling 'a hundred' or not. Sorry, forgot that it may not be a universal thing - it was purely intentional but thanks anyway! :)
As mentioned before, Lyra is quite the little Sass- Queen, i really do blame the influence of her brothers, but hey it keeps Sirius on his toes so that's good.
I'm trying to show the development of both Lyra's character and her friendships with the others, so it's cool to hear that it is being picked up on - the subtle developments and what not :P

thanks for the review
xx


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Review #22, by TearsIMustConceal The Slug Club- Elitism at its finest

6th March 2016:
HPFF review-a-thon!

Once again, we see the Lyra/Lily friendship and I really do love it! She says she prefers being alone but she's close enough with Lily to know when she sounds distracted, even without looking at her – they're definitely more than passing friends, even if Lyra doesn't realise it yet. I like how she can make fun of Lily – this part of the scene was cute and funny and really showed us their friendship. And Lily making Lyra go to the Slugclub, even if it's for her own personal reasons, not speaking to Snape being one of them at least – so Lily can be selfish, even if she did feel slightly guilty for a minute or so.

So Lyra is pretty good at defence despite her concerns? I'm not surprised considering the career choices or her dad and brother. And I like Professor Fawcett – she is so different to what we recognise as the teacher type at Hogwarts and it's really refreshing, plus she's not afraid of a little teasing. I really like her and hope the defence curse doesn't hurt her too much at the end of the year. She's pretty brave taking it on! Her personality kind of reminds me of Tonks in a way which is always a good thing!

Lily and James are so cute! I love how we're seeing the start of the change in their relationship. I love adorable James and Lily! I love Lyra's personality – her response to Slughorn was amazing, even if he didn't realise what she was doing.

Ahh, Lyra and Sirius finally have it out, well a little bit anyway. I get his wariness of her all of a sudden speaking to Lily and James and whatnot but she's right – him judging her for being a pureblood is just as bad as what purebloods do to muggles and muggle-borns and and I'm glad that Lyra finally told him and that for a brief moment, Sirius knew she was speaking the truth and knew he was in the wrong. Hopefully the truce will last long enough to get James and Lily together and for them to all be friends at the end!

They're finally getting a long, even if there is an undertone of teasing – Lyra needs a few allies. Sirius 'panting' over Braddock – I love how you write their interactions – everything flows so well and you really capture the essence of friendship in your writing – everything is just easy and simple and I love it all. I like how Lyra and Sirius also have an easiness to their 'friendship' – the banter flows between them and Lyra is quick enough to keep up and hold her own against Sirius, which is nice to see! I like how Lyra can turn on the sweetness when she wants too – I bet that comes with being the only girl in the family! And now James is having a 'moment' like Sirius when he finds out who her brother is. You write this whole scene really well and there is a feeling like they've been friends for years, even though it's only been a weeks at most. I love your writing!

Lily and Lyra's exchange at the end – it was so sweet and heart-warming and i'm really glad they're friends and that Lyra has worked up the courage to make an effort. I feel like they'll need each other soon enough, especially with this war. Also, will we see anymore of her nightmares or the reasons behind them? I'm still dying to know!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hi :)
I've tried to make Lyra and Lily's friendship as realistic as possible, with neither being perfect people but just teens (if that makes sense??) so yeah, it'll be somewhat slow-burn I guess you could say with Lyra's acceptance of her new position in a social group.
Ah yes, Lyra is quite the sass Queen when she chooses to be - though it seems to be whenever she actually gets around to socializing - I blame it on Cato's influence.
Also a partial blame of Cato and her other brothers is her use of defensive and offensive spells making her somewhat decent at DADA and Charms - it's from all the pranks they've pulled on her, kept her on her toes!
The Lyra/Black scene was important - someone had to get Sirius to see how prejudice he can be at times! As the story progresses, there are going to be loads for of those scenes and they won't necessarily all be quite so confrontational.
Unfortunately for Lyra, there are also going to be a lot of James/Sirius moments of them worshipping her brothers. :
But at the end, we got to see some character development for Lyra and I'm really glad you liked her moment with Lily and that it wasn't as over the top as I thought it possibly was


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Review #23, by TearsIMustConceal The First Day

6th March 2016:
HPFF Review-a-thon!

Hi again! I just can't stay away and it's for a good cause!

Oh wow, what a beginning! Lyra's dreams/nightmares are really vivid and always seem to be quite dark. Once again, your descriptions are just amazing and I could see that whole scene perfectly in my mind. I really can't wait to find out what these mean for Lyra and for the wizarding world – are they solely nightmares, are they past events/horrors or are they premonitions? So many questions!

I love the easiness of her friendship with Lily. I know Lyra likes to be on her own but here you can see she can easily socialise and I think the pair of them have a cute understanding of each other, with Lyra choosing a table already half full to save Lily from James. There's a flow to the friendship and I like it. I should have known James would try and swap, he just can't help himself – you portray James exactly how I picture him. And Sirius here, he's quite harsh with Lyra – is there a reason? I feel like he would have been more understanding, considering the 'blood-traitor' label her family name carries. Is there more there?

I like her friendship with Remus too – Remus is obviously just a good guy and I like that her awkwardness never put him off going out of his way to talk to her. So Lyra doesn't know why Sirius has a problem with her? I do like that actually. It's obvious from the way she spoke about him and the mention of his mother that she knows of his family and what's gone on but I do want to know why he doesn't like her – she isn't your normal pureblood fanatic, her family being blood traitors so it'll be interesting to know his reasons.

Her relationship with Cato is adorable – i'd love a brotherly relationship like that! The letter added a bit of humour to chapter and it was a good ending to a great chapter. We can really see Cato's charming, out-going personality here and I get the feeling she is the one she is closest too, out of all her brothers. It was a cute exchange and I really enjoyed it!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hey again, ah yes sorry for the morbid ness of her nightmares but they're important to her character's past and well, they wouldn't be nightmares otherwise. Writing the interactions between Lyra and her brothers is one of my favourite things to do, so I just had to throw one of them into this chapter even if it was just with a letter.
I'm trying to keep the relationship and friendship developments realistic, so while we can see they're good for her, it may take Lyra a little time to open up fully. I'm happy you're enjoying what's happened so far, it's really great and pleasing to hear!!
Xx


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Review #24, by Unicorn_Charm Prologue: Nightmare

6th March 2016:
Hi There! I'm here for HPFF Review-A-Thon and thought I'd stop by and check out your story.

Wow this is an amazing start. The way that you've written this was so tense, I literally felt my heart rate pick up the entire time I was reading it. Your description was beautifully done. I could clearly picture everything and did not expect that it was going to end up being a dream. It felt like she was really on that cold street - that I was really there with her.

I really enjoyed how you described the transition from nightmare to realizing you were safely at home in your bed. The contrast in temperatures and smells was a great way to show that. It was very sensory and was another wonderful way to bring the reader into your story.

Another thing I loved was how you showed that this was a reoccurring dream that she'd been having. That last line was brilliant, "I was outside a Manor this time." It gave me chills!

This was just wonderful. I'm really intrigued and will definitely be continuing on to see where this goes. I loved it!

I don't believe that I've seen you around the forums. I'm also reviewing for a contest we're having in the Slytherin portion of the forums. (The best house there is!) If you've ever thought about joining us there, it's a really great time. There are tons of site-wide games, contests and all sorts of things. Like right now they're hosing the Quidditch matches, which are a lot of fun, even to just watch.

Great start, once again!

xoxo Meg
-Team Ouroboros
"The end is only the beginning."

Author's Response: Hi! Super glad you enjoyed the prologue! And thank-you so much, that's a real booster for my writing confidence will try and keep the detailed descriptions up!
Thanks again xx


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Review #25, by TearsIMustConceal September First, Seventh Year

6th March 2016:
Here again for the review-a-thon!

So, after the prologue I was really excited to carry on and I loved this chapter.

Your writing is perfect! You have a real knack for dialogue – you managed to make a lot of dialogue in the beginning of the chapter exciting to read. You really conveyed the individuality of each of her family members, especially her brothers and you really portrayed the scary times of the war into each of their interactions and goodbyes and I thought this was a really touching way of introducing their family dynamic to us.

I liked her interactions with the Marauders – it was light and general and just enough but I also like that she left them – I feel like that is something I would do, personally and I feel like I can really relate to her there. I also loved her description of Sirius and her opinions of his high cheek bones and how girls wished they could have them – I found this part really refreshing and it really stood out to me and I don't know why, I just really loved it.

Her choice to be alone and the mention of previous experiences which contribute to her being alone – I'm really intrigued and I can't wait to know more about why she prefers to be alone. She obviously has some secrets in her closet and I can't wait to read about them in later chapters, if they're there, that is! But you can feel that she does want friends and I feel as though this will be the year she finally makes them.

Ooh, she can see thestrals – do we get to know why later on? She's been able to see them for the whole of her Hogwarts time so she was obviously long when she saw death – is this part of her experiences of staying alone rather than being around people? There are so many ideas running around my head!

I like that she's friendly with Lily – I feel like Lily is the perfect friend – she nice, friendly but she's also not dense enough to push for information and I feel like this type of friendship would really appeal to Lyra.

This was a great chapter, cannot wait to read the next one!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hey :)
Thanks! I tried my best to portray how close she was to her family, so it's cool to hear that that did come through :) I'm glad you're liking how she interacts with the marauders, and that it's providing some lightness to the mystery of Lyra's behavior and attitude.
Her cause for seeing the thestrals won't be fully explained for a while as there is a story:mystery that goes along with it, however a part of it will be revealed soon.
Yes, Lily is definitely the perfect friend for Lyra - fingers crossed that she's patient enough to deal with Lyra's secrets


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