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Reading Reviews for Seeking Comfort
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cherry_pop94 The Invitation

8th July 2015:
Hi Jo!

Sorry itís taken me so long to get to your review, Iíve been sort of out of it lately and just really busy with real life. Iím getting back on track though, so here we go!

A little thing first, I know you mentioned that English isnít your first language, so Iíd just like to point out that ĎPreludeí is usually a term reserved for the introduction of a piece of music, while ĎPrologueí is for writing. Not a huge deal, just something I thought Iíd point out.

Now, on to the actual story! I love the beginning with Seamus and Dean finding each other after the battle. We saw how thrilled they were upon seeing each other in the Room of Requirement, so Iím really glad you wrote this little reunion between them. Not a lot happens, but I think we get a glimpse into how much they care for each other here.

The second bit is very sweet. Cassy has a really innocent tone in the way she speaks. Itís very childlike and I think true to her age. I wonder if perhaps sheís magical as well? Also, Iím a little confused as to why theyíre in this strangerís home. Dean was on the run, but what about his motherís house? Though, I definitely wouldnít put it past Death Eaters to target muggle families of muggleborns.

Over all, I think this is a really sweet story and I think it captures a really big step for Dean. I feel like getting a new wand and going into Diagon Alley again after the horrendous year that heís just have muct be a huge step. Getting a new wand feels very symbolic to me, like heís now accepting what happened and ready to move into this new phase with a new wand. I really like that youíve touched on all this. And the grief and just the general despair.

I feel like you introduced quite a few plot bits here though, and didnít fully use all of them. Like the beginning with Seamus, but then he doesnít come back in the rest of the story. And with Fredís funeral, I donít think it would fit to have Dean attend the funeral, but it wasnít much brought up again once Dean was in Diagon Alley. Maybe he saw Weasleyís Wizard Wheezes there and thought of his dead friend again? Also, you don't use contractions often and that sort of makes dialogue seem clunky. I like narrative without contractions, but dialogue should resemble natural speech and people use contractions.

Still, I thought this was a really lovely piece and had some very emotional moments in it! Thanks for sharing!

Stefanie

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Review #2, by lilysprayer The Invitation

19th June 2015:
Hi! This is a really promising start and the way you are portraying Dean's character seems true to the books. His relationship with Cassy is very sweet, I like that you've include her, adding a little innocence into these stories is always so important. I'll be keeping an eye out for the next installment!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You totally made my day by reviewing :)

I've tried to re-read as many lines as I could where Dean is portrayed and I'll hopefully be able to do him justice further on. I'm glad you liked the interaction between him and Cassy! Dialogue is really hard to write for me especially with children.

After reading this I found motivation again to think and write some more :)

Cheers,
Jo


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