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Reading Reviews for screaming in the dark
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by karlydeanna howl

12th June 2015:
(Slytherin for HC 2015)

To put it plainly, I adore you. Your writing style is glorious and my heart was absolutely racing throughout this entire story. I can't imagine what it would be like to show up for dinner and discover your S.O. was a werewolf! The way you portrayed her struggle was heartbreaking, and I would love to hear more from Lily had this not been a one-shot. You've definitely got a talent here, plus the inspiration from the song clearly struck you, and I just adore this story.

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Review #2, by The Summer Snake howl

28th May 2015:
Greetings from The Summer Snake! I have recently slithered out of hibernation and discovered this amazing place with such amazing stories, so I want to read and review as many as I can before I go back into hibernation!

Wow. This was very, very haunting and chilling. It made my skin crawl - and that's saying something since I'm a cold-blooded reptilian creature. I was happily slithering across this land of stories, blissfully unaffected by the darkness falling around me and then I read this, and now I'm kinda scared. Even though I'm a snake.

And that just shows how good this story is. I loved your descriptions. They were rich in emotion and imagery. The darkness was very well conveyed and the chill enveloped the narration perfectly. I loved your characterisation of Lily.

It was sad to see her in a possibly abusive relationship. It was interesting how his human form wasn't a good person either. The way you connected his human insults in her mind to her situation was powerful. The ending note was very chilling but I liked how it was left open - we don't know for sure what happened to her.

All in all, I loved it. I am a summer snake so by right I'm here to spread some cheer - but I love dabbling in the dark and twisted like this, shh. Great story!

*showers confetti and flowers* Have a nice summer!

Now I'll be off to explore more of this wonderful sun! See ya!

With love,
The Summer Snake

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Review #3, by Dojh167 howl

28th May 2015:
Hello, Sam here for our review swap =)

I was really surprised by the darkness of this story. While I have not ready your work, looking down your page there are a lot of bright and colorful banners. If this was out of your comfort zone in any way, congratulations.

I listed to Howl before reading this, and I think you did a good job of matching the feel of the song.

You use very strong descriptive language, and that goes a long way in creating the world of your story, both physical and emotional. I do think you could afford to switch some of your similes to metaphors, as the frequent use of "like" (or in other instances, "sort of") takes some of the punch away from your otherwise strong language.

It's really heartbreaking to see Lily in such an abusive relationship, and based on your paragraph about everything she consciously chose to ignore, she seemed very aware of this. I typically expect there to be a certain amount of internal denial in this sort of situation, but I respect the way you chose to write her perspective.

It's almost a cliche that people take monstrous creatures and write them as good people, so in a way it is really interesting that you made all sides of Ivan a monster.

I personally found it really empowering how Lily used the memory of his words to give her courage to fight back against him, even when it seemed so impossible. I suppose maybe it's a good thing that she saw the literal monster in him so that she would get past the "maybe she wasn't slowly growing to despise him" part.

The story was short, but it didn't feel like it. You made good use of the space that you had, and I think it's a good thing that you didn't draw it out too long.

The ending did a good job of making me want to know what would happen, but I agree with your choice not to give anything away.

But yeah, that was heavy. Good job dealing such with powerful and delicate material.

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Review #4, by TreacleTart howl

27th May 2015:
Hi Sarah,

I'm here for our review swap and happy to see that you've returned to writing!

I really liked the song that you chose to pair with this. I haven't actually heard it, but I went and looked up the lyrics and it really fits with what you've written, particularly the little section that you included at the top of the story.

I thought you set the scene pretty well with Lily running. The descriptions of the chill in the air and the gloom and the pain in her lungs as she ran really helped me to imagine what was going on. I could really feel that she was scared and in danger.

I thought it was really interesting to see that you wrote about the werewolf attacking her being her boyfriend. I actually have a story called To Fear A Full Moon that deals with Pansy being mauled by her werewolf boyfriend...although the scenarios are quite different.

I think it's interesting that Lily is dating such an awful person. Ivan sounds like real jerk the way he tries to control her. Sounds like she should've kicked his butt to the curb a long time ago.

The ending while tragic, really summed up their relationship well. I was intrigued by the fact that Ivan was human enough even in his werewolf form to make snide remarks about her ability to do things. You've been very successful in making me hate him.

That being said, I always like to try and provide a little bit of CC in my reviews. I think that you could drag out the suspense just a little bit longer. It goes from beginning to end pretty rapidly. I think pulling a bit of the lovely descriptive quality that this story has in the beginning through to the ending would really enhance it.

All in all, I think this was a good story. I like the characterization of Ivan especially because you made me feel so strongly towards him. Good work!


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