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Reading Reviews for The Trials
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by merlins beard Chapter 3

23rd July 2015:
Hey Erin.

I'm so sorry, it took me forever to finally get here for the review I promised.

I think I need a minute to catch my breath... the end of this chapter was so emotional.

Let me start from the top:
I really like that the Fidelius Charm is also placed on objects. The way the trainees are going to be tested seems so realistic. Of course the department would take time to find every trainee's weakness and make his or her mission about facing it. Life as an Auror is never calm or easy and I'm guessing you can't pick your cases just because you don't want to deal with something, so it's really good that the trainees get to see that right away.
It feels a little harsh that Harry and Ron have to face the man who killed their loved ones, but that's life and that's what might happen at some point in their career anyway, so it might as well be now, under the guidance of a senior Auror and closely watched so any mistakes they make can be straightened out immediately.

I like how they all go to Diagon Alley, get new robes and even a haircut. On the one hand it makes the mission much more real, and on the other hand it's nice to see them relax at some point in between work sessions.

When you wrote about Harry and Violet shared that ice cream, my only thought was: what would Rita Skeeter have to say/write about that.

I feel really sorry for Violet. Her story is heartbreaking... I can't get rid of the feeling that we'll see more of Damien somewhere in this story. I hope they find each other again and that she can finally accept that it really isn't her fault (nor is it her parent's fault).

Fenrir Grayback almost makes me as mad as Dolores Umbridge does. He really is the most foul, disgusting creature on earth. He has no conscience and every time I read about one of his victims, I'd love to stick my hand into my computer screen and squish him between my fingers.

I'll read on now because I just can't stop.

Sorry again for the delay, I'm so happy I finally found time to read such a great story.

~Anja xxx

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Review #2, by DaaOne Chapter 4

14th July 2015:
Hiya :D

I'm sorry if I took too long to review this, but I've started my internship and I spend the whole day working, by the time I get home I'm completely tired I just sleep haha

So, about your story.. I've been waiting for this chapter. I was super excited when I heard about the mission and I wanted to know what might happen in Azkaban.

I really like the description of the place, of the characters' feelings and the events. It makes the whole situation very realistic, I can picture the events, I can picture Dolohov, Harry's expression, Ron's expression, I can sense their tension. And that is so great about your story.

You also gave enough details about the mission, and the events without boring me with unnecessary events and details and that's also something good.

You left us hanging at the end and I can't help but wonder what Henry has to do with Dolohov and what might he gain from stopping him from giving his consent for the ministry to take away Marcus.. It makes me want to read on to know what this Henry character has on his mind, what his problem is and who he is..

I like what you done with Azkaban without the Dementors. It's all very creative and that's a good thing.

So far your plot is very consistent and I feel we can still expect much from this story. I encourage you to keep on writing this ^^

I hope my review helped and I covered everything.

Happy writing,

DaaOne

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Review #3, by aurevoir Chapter 3

28th June 2015:
She and Harry are getting too comfy. I keep narrowing my eyes at her. Because I don't want him to ruin something with Ginny and that's what I see happening. DON'T MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE. [I keep getting distracted by the TV]. I'm really interested to see if there's going to be drama with Vi and Ginny. I WANT GINNY BACK. I'm also really interested for this mission - I just know something is going to go wrong ;) because why else would this story be leading up to this event so much?! DESTINY. Per usual, I love your writing style, etc. etc. I'm really slow at this reviewing game, so I'm going to try and move on to other authors, just to spread the love. LOVE YOU.

House Cup 2015 - Slytherin

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Review #4, by aurevoir Chapter 2

27th June 2015:
So is the talking to each other like Occumulency? [I'm too lazy to check this spelling]. I'm a little confused by this. I thought it was just them having such a close friend connection. I really like how you went in with so much detail in the beginning. And the simulation itself - I liked it, especially about all of the flashbacks, but I kind of would have liked to see more information about the flashback. More detail - there was so much at the beginning, I just think that more could have been added there. And I think it would have been so beneficial to readers because we've all seen/read the war.

But that's besides the point. I'm going to keep reading!

House Cup 2015 - Slytherin.

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Review #5, by aurevoir Chapter 1

27th June 2015:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME.

WHY IS THERE A PREQUEL.

I've been a little slow in life, so I decided that the Amazing Race was the perfect time to come back in during all of this. I'm really interested to see where this new character will come into the story - if she's being put in on the team, she obviously is going to come in important. I'm also really excited to see what is going to happen with their auror training. And how this will tie in to Cold Blood. And rambling again, I'm really glad that she fit in with their dynamics of speaking to each other. It kind of made me laugh.

House Cup 2015 - Slytherin.

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Review #6, by DaaOne Chapter 3

27th June 2015:
Hello there,

So first of all great job! You have a good plot and a solid story line, and I look forward to reading more about this mission, and get to know Violet better. And maybe her brother? Damien was it?

Do I smell a Harry/Violet ship coming? I couldn't help but think about it. Maybe I'm just one of those old fashioned people who see affection as a sign of love not friendship, or maybe you're too good to get me confused about this. Either ways, if it's a secret don't spoil it. I love surprises.

I like the way you jump from event to event, and the way you link the two without any unnecessary details in between.

While I was reading this, I was asking myself questions, like for example I asked myself the same question Harry asked Violet about how the mission affects her; when I continued reading I was glad the answer was there. That's just an example. And that's a good thing: anticipating what your reader might ask themselves and clearing things out for them is a good way to give them the urge to keep on reading.

I honestly didn't see the "my brother was also bitten" part and I think it could lead to a great action in your story, if you ever use it (who knows! Am I anticipating things? :o ) And the way Violet told the story got me kind of shocked! (Those Aurors!) I can see she's a tough girl though, not to show any sign of emotion while the Auror explained the mission, unlike good old Harry and Ron.

Since we mentioned those two, you pretty much stuck to their canon personalities. Hero Harry always to the rescue, always reckless and Hot blooded Ronald Weasley.

I read the whole three chapters and got so far and I would really like to read more and discover what the new trio is going to do.

By the way, great job replacing Hermione with another girl. Nice touch ;)

Just one thing though: keep an eye out for punctuation like unnecessary commas. And somewhere I stumbled on Damien being written Damen, you might want to correct that. "There was one to teach him how to deal with the thoughts or senses…" and this sentence should probably have a "no" inserted in it, unless I'm mistaken.

Overall, I think you have a great plot going on here and your story is moving in a good pace. I look forward to see what you have in store for the new trio.

I hope I helped :)

DaaOne

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Review #7, by SunshineDaisies Chapter 1

14th June 2015:
Hello!

I got like halfway through this review and accidentally shut my browser. :(

I enjoyed reading this! It's a bit different than your other pieces I've read, so it was a bit more lighthearted than I expected. I think that is very much a positive thing though! Starting off a bit light makes the action and mystery much more powerful when it does come in.

I loved how you described Harry and Ron's relationship! I don't think we see enough of that in canon, actually. And I just love reading about platonic relationships! I think throwing in a new person will definitely shake things up a bit for those two, which they sorely need. I'm excited to see how they all start interacting with each other. Harry and Ron are used to having a third person around, but Violet seems to be just about the opposite of Hermione which is bound to make for an interesting dynamic. I'm really excited to see how that plays out!

I think you did a lovely job of characterization here! Gawain and Violet came across very clearly, which is pretty spectacular considering this is only the first chapter. You did well with Harry and Ron as well! I'm far too intimidated to write them, so I can hardly imagine how difficult it is to get the voice right! I think you've done a wonderful job of getting them there. They came across clearly as well, though you didn't have quite as much work to do on that front. :)

I absolutely adore Violet. She already seems to be a very interesting character, and I want to know as much about her as possible. I really like her voice as well. Perfectly snarky, and age appropriate in my opinion. Assuming she's the same age as Harry and Ron, she's still a teenager after all, so even though she thinks she's being immature, I think she's just about right. (Even if she is just joking about it.)

I also kind of ship Harry and Violet already and it's been like... thirty seconds. AND I NEVER SHIP NONCANON. NEVER.

You've also done a really nice job of setting up the plot. It's clear what the next few points will be without giving too much away. It's a great way to draw in the readers without entering immediately into the meat of the story. It gives a sense of calm before the storm. I'm intrigued without really knowing much at all!

I did find it interesting that Robards would put them in groups based on similar strengths. I think usually people are paired off based on opposing strengths to grow as a person, or something, but I suppose that would be less conducive to choosing the best four candidates to move on to the next level of training. It might also be worth mentioning what happens to the people who aren't chosen, as that's a little unclear right now. Do they get kicked out of the program? Or do they just stay in the first level for a little bit longer?

Overall, I think this is a pretty solid first chapter. Good work!

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Review #8, by Gabriella Hunter Chapter 1

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums and you know what the deal is by now. I'm here for your soul! And your kittens! Haha. It's good to be stopping by again after a while, I'm curious to see what this new story is going to be like. >:)

I really like this set-up that you've fleshed out in this first chapter. I don't read many stories that feature Auror training quite like this, usually the entire thing is glossed over and they've already graduated and become really awesome. I like that it takes far more concentration and hard work to get through the entire thing though, the fact that team work is necessary makes a lot of since. You can't go into the battlefield unprepared and without trusting your partners. That could prove to be dangerous and I like that each team is made up of people who have a certain balance.

I also liked that you didn't open this chapter with your main characters. Their superior is the one giving out all the great exposition and setting up the majority of the scene instead of Harry or Ron. That's a nice change and it gives me an unbiased view on how their character's have changed. It's a nice little twist, I think that people don't do very often.

It is good to see that Ron and Harry are still close though. You don't have to go into a lot of detail to make me believe it either, it's simply written in a way that I can't question. I'm not sure how many years have passed but I love the laid back quality you gave both of the boys, instead of the two of them gloating about their status in the world. I liked the fact that Violet's duel with Harry raised some eyebrows but didn't necessarily get her into trouble, which makes me wonder how often people fight during Auror training. Hahhaa.

I also like that her character pointed out some harsh truths. Harry and Ron may have saved the world but that doesn't mean that they're the best wizards. I think that this team is going to rely on each other in more ways than they think and I'm looking forward to reading more! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #9, by Harrymylove Chapter 3

9th June 2015:
Great story please update soon!!!

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Review #10, by merlins beard Chapter 2

6th June 2015:
Hey Erin!
I'm really sorry it took so long, I finally made it here for our swap.

I really like that Robards selected the Hogwarts battle as a task. It's definitely the event that would upset most of the trainees (many of them probably having been students at the castle when it happened)

I feel like Ron and (especially) Harry would have reacted even worse than you wrote here, but I know it's very difficult to write emotionally unstable, upset characters without making the whole story about just that. This story is about Auror training, not about Harry's breakdowns, so it's ok to not focus on his emotions too much.

I like the silent communication he has with Ron (and Violet) and I'm really impressed that she picks up on it so fast. She must be a very smart witch.
The descriptions of the simulated fighting scenes are great (they were awesome in the first chapter, too). I really enjoy that Violet uses fire so much :D

Lunch? they've just duelled each other, then fought a simulated Hogwarts battle and it's only time for lunch? I don't even want to think about how early they had to get started for this... I feel really sorry for them. (at the same time, it would be kind of funny to have someone come and wake Ron up at 4 a.m. every day - maybe George would volunteer ;) )

The background story about Ginny and Harry not getting back together right away was really sad. I wonder if they'll be together sometime in the duration of this story...?

I really enjoyed reading this!
Thank you so much for swapping with me

with love,
~Anja

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Review #11, by CassiePotter Chapter 2

3rd June 2015:
Hello! I'm here with your review!
So I read both chapters of this, so I could understand what was going on, and I really enjoyed them! I think you write Harry and Ron really well, and they have great chemistry. It made me laugh to see them sending each other silent messages, because it's definitely something I could picture them doing during class at Hogwarts, as well as during Auror training.
I thought the simulation they were being tested in was really good. I never would have expected the Battle of Hogwarts, but it makes perfect sense. And, of course, Harry's weak spot is trying to save anyone who might be hurt because of his "hero complex." Hopefully he learns to trust his teammates more so he doesn't get in trouble for that!
I'm sad he and Ginny aren't together, but I can definitely see her being mad at him for breaking up with her just to keep her safe.
Both of these chapters were really good, and I enjoyed them a lot!
Cassie :)

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Review #12, by HPmum14 Chapter 2

2nd June 2015:
Is Harry going to get with Violet? Hope not xx

Author's Response: Haha, you'll just have to read on to find out. ;) thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts!

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Review #13, by Shadowkat Chapter 1

31st May 2015:
It's Kat, finally arriving for the swap! I was going to join this challenge myself, but that probably wouldn't be smart with my habit of taking on too much. Anyway, on to the review!

This seems like a good first chapter. You've set up the characters, added potential for conflict, and gave us some important information. I like how you wrote them being split into groups based on their strengths, as that's a realistic way to do it. Although, it seemed slightly strange to me when Robards said Ron, Harry, and Violet already showed good team work with each other, but then Violet started acting jealous of them. It does show some conflict that might arise later, which is good, but I feel like she was almost too violent to have it be caused by something so trivial. Maybe there's more to it that we don't know yet???

I wonder what the mission will be. He said it involves their fears and past experiences, which is pretty broad with Harry and Ron. I wonder what Violet's will be, and how it might affect everything. I feel like something important is going to come from this...

Overall, great chapter. Can't wait to see what comes next. :)

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Review #14, by tangledconstellations Chapter 1

29th May 2015:
Hey there!

I thought I'd review this story as it's the most recent. I haven't read Cold Blood (but this has really got me interested in it!) so to read this being aware it was a prequel I was sort of half-expecting to get a bit lost. HOWEVER I totally didn't and this was a really awesome first chapter! You've plunged me right into the action which is great and I'm really keen to see where this goes!

I love that you've emphasised how Ron and Harry are a total team. The part with them knowing exactly what their facial expressions meant was really, really nice. Like, of course they are a team, they've been bff's since day one, but often that gets forgotten in ff and it's really nice to see that expressed here. I also love that Ron is as cool as Harry here, and that he does have his own strengths (even if Violet thinks otherwise!). I just love that in this first chapter you're making him your own and letting him be just as vocal and a generally awesome character - as great as he is in the books.

The way you've set up the atmosphere and the severity of this fic is really cool too. I love the way everyone was hanging on to Robard's every word - it's such a contrast to the situations Harry and Ron etc were always in in their classes at Hogwarts, where they'd be dozing off and whatnot. You've grabbed my attention really well and really shown me that this is serious business, and these guys aren't messing around anymore. It just ups the ante so much and makes this an exciting start to the fic.

One thing that I thought was worth mentioning was that I felt as though I couldn't picture Violet that well. Is she a character in Cold Blood at all? Maybe suggesting more of her appearance/character a bit more initially here would be helpful - perhaps when she first shoots Harry that glaring look? Just because I was really engaged with their hexing/talking but I don't know much about her as of yet, so wondered about her significance. But other than that, she's a really cool character. I agree with her - it must be so strange sort of wedging yourself between two parts of the Golden Trio!

Your writing is really wonderful here and it's honestly such a joy to read. It flows really well and I can't think of any bits that were particularly jarring or anything. It was just really neat and really to-the-point, without lacking in anything. Do you find you prefer writing more action-based stories? I wish I could write with your rhythm! I'm forever lingering over like feelings and descriptions and I can never get my writing as lively and enjoyable as this! It's really lovely to read.

Thanks for swapping reviews, and I hope you have fun writing more of this! I will definitely be swinging by to read the next chapter, and will have to check out Cold Blood, too! ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #15, by Aleine Chapter 1

28th May 2015:
Wow... I mean wow... I can't even imagine where to start.

I'll go with the baddies;

1) There was only one actual baddie. You have some typos (Two, to be exact). Apart from that nothing else was bad.

2) In the beginning I didn't like the fact that the Auror fellow was so military-like. But then I realized how tough Aurors are (And even McGonagall talks like that, so what?) and that we have only seen them in battle. We haven't seen them at work or being trained properly. So I ended up really liking what you did there.

Now for the Goodies;

1) Creative. Extremely creative. Not just the plot but even the approach. You started the story exactly at the correct spot. If it was sooner in the training, it would have been too much information, and if it was was a bit later, we'd have been lost.

2) Very realistic, in Harry Potter terms. The names felt right, and even their characterization suited the names. I like the way you have lined up the events. Even the incident felt very real.

3) Characterization, like I said, was amazing. I like you characterization of the main Auror. He was so from the Ministry, I could tell. Even Harry and Ron's friendship, the way they approached the problem, were very good.

4) The twist in this story is that you have written it in a manner that keeps the reader guessing forever. I can never tell which one Vi would end up with, Ron or Harry. It could be Ron. Or it could be Harry. Either way would be amazing, and you've laid the foundation for that here itself.

So, all in all, really really good. I dunno why you're nervous about the first chapter. Looks like you know how to nail it right.

I so want to keep reading this. I will, as time permits :D

Be amazing, and keep writing.

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Review #16, by MargaretLane Chapter 1

26th May 2015:
Sorry about the delay. Really enjoyed Cold Blood, so wanted to take a look at the prequel.

I like the mention of how only one of the previous batch of trainees has remained in the profession. It's a good reminder of how tough it is.

This sentence sounds a little odd: "something that Robards had to constantly remind himself." I'd be inclined to end that sentence after "crumbling faster on the field" and then write the next sentence as, "he had to constantly remind himself of the difference between that and the safe training room..."

I like the way Roberts notices, and approves of, the messages Ron and Harry pass between him. It makes sense he'd notice; after all being observant is an important part of his job, and also makes sense that he'd recognise the value of such signals.

Hmm, I can't help expecting Harry to go against what he's told. It would be in character and there's something about that instruction that makes me think it's going to be broken.

Ooh, based on what they've gone through and their worst fears. Considering how recent the war was, I'd imagine most of them have had some traumatic experiences that could be drawn on.

Violet seems to have a pretty high opinion of herself. Despite her admission that she felt intimidated, she seems to feel a lot less so than most people would. After all, they already have significant experience, they have ALREADY defeated villains the entire AUROR DEPARTMENT couldn't. It takes a fair amount of confidence to imply the man who defeated Voldemort is "lacking" as a fighter.

Interesting beginning. I wonder if this is just going to be about their training or if they will stumble into a real crime.

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Review #17, by TreacleTart Chapter 1

26th May 2015:
Hi Erin!

Stopping by for our review swap!

I haven't read a ton of Auror stories, so I'm interested to see what you make of this one. I like where you started the story. They're just at the end of Auror training, so they obviously know what they're doing to some extent, but they aren't all the way ready yet. This final test seems quite important, so the nerves are probably coursing through them.

Violet seems a bit unhinged in this. I can understand feeling a little insecure about working with Ron and Harry, but losing it the way she does makes me nervous about her being in law enforcement of any sort. Honestly, if she can't control her emotions in a situation like this, I can't imagine how she would handle some of the horrific things she'd be bound to see in the line of duty. Also, her condescending attitude towards Ron and Harry is sort of strange considering she just tried to duel them for no reason and lost. I guess I just find her kind of annoying..although I don't think that this is a bad thing. It works well against Harry and Ron's established dynamic. You've certainly created a character who makes an impression.

I'm curios to see what type of mission they will be sent on. Since it's meant to target their weaknesses and fears, I can only imagine. I definitely feel curious enough about it to keep reading.

I did notice just a couple typos and one area where you switched from past tense to present tense randomly, but otherwise it was a pretty clean, polished chapter. The only real CC that I have to offer is that I'd like just a little bit more description just to fill things out a bit.

any order that you leader gives will be final. – your

“Each team will have a different mission that are designed to test you – that is

She glances at Ron and smirks. “Either of you.” - the switch to present tense is weird since everything else is in past tense

All in all, I like where you're going with this and will be curious to see how you flesh it out. This seems so different from your usual writing style, but you're handling it so well already. Good work!

~Kaitlin

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Review #18, by poobear Chapter 1

26th May 2015:
Hi There
I like't it keep going please it was good look forward to more chapters to come.
Bruce x

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