Reading Reviews for Fenrir
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Infinityx Fenrir

19th July 2015:
Hello! I'm here to review your story for the second person PoV challenge. :)

Wow. I must commend you on writing about Fenrir. I usually form back stories for the evil ones and make it such that we can sympathise with them at least a bit, but he was one whom i could never put under that category. And I think you've drawn upon that inherent darkness within him in this very well.

I love how you've written such a long frame of events in such a short fic. And it was all clear and easy to read as well, so that's quite an achievement. Great job!

I like how you throw us into the story into the very beginning. Your first two lines really pack a punch and they made me so interested in this story as soon as I read them and that's amazing! I also love the contrast you've brought out between Fenrir and other werewolves. you've obviously given thought to what they do during the full moons and i love how you've described their rituals, for lack of a better word, and that was a great bit of information.

i never thought of fenrir having a different name before he became a proper werewolf. that's a really interesting original idea and i totally go for it. it's become my head canon now. and it's brilliant that it's a pseudonym as well! i also like how he tries to get back into the normal life after voldemort's downfall in the beginning. it's a different way of looking at him and it also helps to emphasize on just how powerful his blood lust is.

The way you brought in Voldy's distaste for werewolves was a great bit of detail as well. and while other death eaters would find not being branded as a disgrace, fenrir viewed his not being branded as freedom and that says a lot about his personality and his own self image as the werewolf leader.

I am extremely impressed by the level of detail in this one shot. you've covered a lot and i also feel like i actually know a lot of things and there aren't any holes in the story.

there are a few small errors though with a slight change in tense at a couple of places and one or two typos. they're nothing major but they kind of affect the flow of the story. i'm sure a quick read would fix them, but otherwise, it's a clean chapter and easy to read. :)

coming to the second person aspect. first of all, congratulations on attempting something new! it's not an easy PoV and i hope you enjoyed writing it and would like to try it out again some time.

Writing second person for this plot was a good choice. The theme is such that it evokes powerful imagery and second person thrives on imagery so great job there!

I think you could have made it more effective by working on your descriptions of Fenrir's experiences and feelings. For instance, that bit about the muggle campers and the time he became Greyback. How exactly did he feel? Did his (my) heart begin to pound at the smell of the warm, enticing scent? Did he try to fight it at that very moment? If he fought it, what did he try to do, how did it make him feel? Did he claw at the ground, fighting the overwhelming need, trying to battle against his own mind?

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. This reads as a narrative - a brilliant one - but it's missing that small element that adds a lot more intensity to second person. This may be due to your trying to cover so many things in a small one shot. I would suggest you don't hold back and try to describe every major moment from Fenrir's side, with a lot more focus on his thoughts and emotions, not just the actions.

Overall, I loved this and it was such a unique idea. You've done an amazing job at coming up with the premise and writing the whole thing. If you'd like me to explain anything better or if you'd like to discuss any part of this review, don't hesitate to pm me. :)

I hope you don't find this review too harsh. I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything and I hope you find this review helpful. ♥

thank you so much for entering my challenge. i really enjoyed - it was dark but yes, i enjoyed it :P (i love dark stories) - reading this! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for such a lovely long review and a great challenge... 2nd person was totally new to me so this was the push I needed. The extra tips you had in here were encouraging and maybe I'll try it again in the future. (Before this, I always thought it was way too scary to try!)

I'm glad you liked my take on Fenrir and the events that unfolded here. He's such an enigma in canon since we see him so little so it was fun to explore him a bit, even though it was also kind of creepy trying to get into his mind.

Thanks again! =)

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Review #2, by Unicorn_Charm Fenrir

10th July 2015:
Hi there! Here to leave your review for the Between Two Wars Challenge! Thank you so much for entering and for this amazing story! :)

Wow this was bone chilling. I cannot believe what a wonderful job you've done getting inside of Greyback's head! It was flawless. I really loved the use of the second person too. It made the whole thing that much more powerful. Just absolutely brilliant!

The backstory of how he came to be Greyback was just great. I thought it was interesting how he at one point did try hard to stay away from people when he transformed. It's actually kind of sad to picture someone all locked up in chains like that. That had to be awful. Oh but then when you described him finding the Muggle campers for the first time - chills.

Speaking of chills. I cannot tell you how uneasy (in a totally good way that speaks volumes about your fantastic writing) I felt when how he felt about attacking people was described. How he loved the fear and the panic and the attempts to flee. *shudders* So, so, so well written.

I also liked a lot how you used what we know from canon, like him not being branded with the Dark Mark and explained why. It was definitely believable that Voldemort would have looked down on him, like he was scum, and would not allow him to be marked. And I love how he knew that, but he didn't care. Because it meant protection and ultimately more victims.

(I know I'm saying this a lot) I loved that he went back and tried to be Fenton Grey after Voldemort's fall. I thought that was a great take one what he might have done in that time frame. It completely took me by surprise, so well done on that!

And that ending, him breaking into that house and again with describing how the attack felt. Like I said, a very uneasy feeling I'm left with.

This was an excellent story! I very much enjoyed it! Thank you so much for entering!! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. Greyback is a character I almost never read about and that we have very little backstory on, so there was so much to fill in. It was nice to have freedom, but also a bit intimidating! I'm glad to hear that you found it - and Fenrir himself - appropriately creepy. =)

Thank you for taking the time to read this & for the challenge. It was the push I needed to give Pre-Hogwarts a shot for the first time.

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Review #3, by HeyMrsPotter Fenrir

12th June 2015:
Hello! Iím here reviewing for the House Cup :D
This was so good! I really loved your idea for the story, and it really made me think about Fenrir Greyback. To me he was always a werewolf, it didnít even occur to me like it did with Lupin that he would have been someone else before that. I love that you actually gave him another name to, it made it easier to differentiate between the two of them.
I think the whole thing was incredibly believable, like the fact that he had to move around a lot and that he was meticulous with his planning around the full moon, and that his actions caught the attention of Voldemort. I also really liked how he was forced back to living a Ďnormalí life after Voldemortís first downfall.
Your description was totally amazing too, really chilling. I canít praise this enough!
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015.

Author's Response: Hi Dee! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this.

I'm glad you liked this. Trying to humanize Fenrir Greyback of all people was hard because he is so despicable in the books. The fact that you felt like his traits were reasonable and how everything unfolded for him is plausable is good to hear since this was something totally new for me.

Thanks for the lovely review. =)

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Review #4, by Shadowkat Fenrir

11th June 2015:
Ravenclaw, House Cup.

Fenrir isn't a character I've read much about, to tell you the truth. That said, the change was I remember why he's one of my least favorite characters, making poor Rem's life so horrible!

I never thought of him ever being anything else, but now you have me wondering. What was he like before he'd been bitten? How and when was he bit? What happened after? It's tugging at me now, I swear it's going to drive me nuts!

The writing was good, and I liked how you had him go back into hiding after Voldemort's fall, something that makes sense. I don't like Greyback, but from what I can tell he's not stupid in the books.

I really liked this, Claws for the win once more!

Author's Response: Hi Shadowkat! Thanks for taking the risk to read a Fenrir centred story... it is definitely a bit out there so feedback on it is so nice to hear. I'm glad you agree with the fact that he wasn't stupid - a terrible person, but surely he had some smarts to make it through for so long. Thanks again & yay Ravenclaw! =)

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Review #5, by maskedmuggle Fenrir

11th June 2015:

I really hate the character Fenrir Greyback, for obvious reasons, especially for how he ruins others' lives forever. However, I liked how you gave me more insight into his character in this fic. I feel like he's a character that definitely has flaws in his perspective of life and how he sees others, but I could appreciate that in a sense, he was simply embracing his werewolf side more, and that in his eyes, it was kind of an addictive, thrilling game going after humans. I liked how you fit this view of Greyback into the canon story and conveyed what he did before, during and after the war. You wrote this really well and I thought you did a really great job with the 2nd person point of view too! If this is something different for you, I can assure you that it was an enjoyable read.

- Charlotte
Ravenclaw House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi Charlotte! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply to this, my reviews got away from me. Thank you so much for trying this story - I know Fenrir and Pre-Hogwarts are not everybody's cup of tea (or even mine, most of the time!) so I appreciate the feedback on this. Thanks for reviewing. =)

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Review #6, by LastMinuteLuna Fenrir

3rd June 2015:
Hello! Hello!

I'm LastMinuteLuna and I'm dropping by to leave you a review for the Pass It Along Challenge! I know. I know, the deadline has passed, but they don't call me LastMinuteLuna for nothing!

But enough about me. Let's talk about your fabulous story!

I love stories about the "evil villains", especially when it delves into how they came to be the way they are, so I was immediately drawn to reading this. There is so much room with a character like Fenrir to build a story around him since we know relatively little of his history.

I enjoyed that you started him off as a decent person who tried to control his lycanthropy and then slowly allowed him to evolve into the horrible person he is at the end of the story. You could really see the blood lust growing in him.

Congratulations on expanding your writing styles! 2nd person POV is, in my opinion, the hardest POV to write in and I think this was a good first attempt. My only suggestion would be that if you try it again in the future, sometimes it works a little better on a smaller frame of time. If it's one specific event then it's easier for the reader to engage in it, where as on a broader timeline, it kind of pulls you out of the 2nd person a bit.

Don't fret though! This was a good story and I would actually really be interested in seeing you expand this into something a little bit bigger. (Maybe a short story?)

Uh oh! Times up. I have to run. I've got a few more reviews to leave and Iím already late! Thanks for such a creepy story!


Author's Response: Hello LastMinueLuna! Thanks for stopping by (even at the last minute). =)

I'm glad you liked Fenrir! I've never written a character this evil before so it was fun to try something new. Trying to start with him as somebody who wasn't pure evil and changing him to try to make him seem more like an actual person was despicable to write & I'm glad you thought the changes came across well.

I found 2nd quite challenging as well. Your suggestion is a good one... I'll definitely keep it in mind for the future!

Thanks again! =)

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Review #7, by Gabriella Hunter Fenrir

24th May 2015:

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that it took me a minute to get to this. I've been sick and then it was my birthday yesterday so I didn't have the time to get my reviews done. There was so much cake...

Anyway, I have never read an origin story for Greyback quite like this. I love the POV that you chose for this story and the progression you gave from the man he was to the beast he always wanted to be. I thought that it was really well-done and I've always been crazy about werewolves, you didn't shy away from the blood and evil of it either, which I really appreciate. I think that the brief life that he lived for a time was a little sad, because you knew that it wouldn't last for long and his attempts to stay away from humanity were kind of heartbreaking. There was some semblance of empathy in him then but by the time he had his first kill and beyond, he was gone forever. By the time the Dark Lord returns, he had actually started a new life for himself but the beast was always there underneath. Now, someone else may have written this differently and made it seem as if he was truly repentant of what he did but you didn't go that route. I love that you didn't, actually because it shows what kind of monster he was all along.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this and thank you so much for the read! :D

Much love,


Author's Response: Hello Gabbie! Thank you for taking the time to review this.

I'm glad you liked the blood and darkness of his time as a werewolf. I figured that if anybody enjoyed that and the loss of humanity it would be Greyback (you'd have to to purposefully attack children). When I was trying to figure out what he would be doing in the gap years during Harry's childhood, this seemed like the truest to his character and it is nice to hear that you think along the same lines.

Thank you so much for the review! =)

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Review #8, by Oregonian Fenrir

23rd May 2015:
Hi! This is Vicki from Slytherin House. I picked this little story to review because it hasnít had as much love as it deserves, and My Gosh! It certainly deserves more love!

Maybe some potential readers hesitate because the subject, Fenrir Greyback, is so loathsomeówe never see anything but loathsomeness in JKRís depiction of himóbut you have made him very interesting. I suppose, if one can only get past his gruesome exterior, which is admittedly hard to do, one must concede that there ought to be an interesting story there, and you have shown us some of what it is.

I like your writing style. It is very straightforward and pretty objective, not romanticizing poor Fenton or going way deeply into his agonized reflections. Of course, the second-person voice, rather than the first person voice, tends to rein in the extravagant reflection we sometimes see in other stories. But your descriptions of Fenton/Fenrirís behavior are very satisfying, as far as they go.

When I finished the story, I glanced back at the beginning to refresh my memory of how he himself got bitten, and I was surprised to see that that information wasnít thereóyou had not included it. Iíd say that that is evidence of how well you had drawn me into the mindset of this unfortunate but ultimately fallen man, that I ended up believing that I had read his entire story.

You did an excellent job in portraying the struggle in Fentonís mind about trying to resist his werewolf urges, but it was clever to indicate that it was mainly his fear of being caught and imprisoned that impelled his resistance, not any moral consideration about the wrongness of attacking humans. Your final line is good (a good final line is always a jewel)óthat the werewolf persona was his one true self. Makes me wonder what Fenton was like in his former life, before he became a werewolf. Was he one of those people who follow the rules because society demands it but who really donít have much sympathy for their fellow man?

I also like your brief note about Fenrirís association with the Dark Lord and what advantage it had for him, but I think you have a typo here about the dates, ďfrom a cold winterís day in early 1982 to the night he attacked the Potter boy on Halloween of 1981.Ē

All in all, a refreshingly original and creative little story. Iím very glad I read it. Maybe other people will read and review also now. Congratulations on your very successful foray into new territory!


Author's Response: Hello Vicki! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to review my story. I was so glad to see that somebody had taken the time to read Fenrir!

I am glad you liked the writing in this piece. It was the first time I had ever attempted second person (for a challenge) and I was a bit unsure of how it would come across. Your comments on the Fenton vs. Fenrir inner struggle and the before/after had me nodding along.

Thanks for pointing out that typo... that definitely is not right! I will go back and fix it now!

Thanks again for the lovely review. =)

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