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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jio The Reformation of the Duelling Club

14th August 2016:
While I like the basic idea, its badly executed.

Repeated usage of the cruciatus curse in front of a bunch of witnesses and nothing happens except for Neville shouting a bit? That spell is a one-way ticket to Askaban, yet the death-eater-teacher can just continue.

Author's Response: Thanks. Azkaban*

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Review #2, by Thewitofravenclaw12 The Hogwarts Express

17th May 2015:
Interesting plotline. Della is going to be an interesting character. I hope to read the entire novella. I give it a 7/10.

Author's Response: Awesome good plotline interesting

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Review #3, by MargaretLane Impatience

16th May 2015:
Hmm, the summary of this story does sound intriguing. I've read a lot of next gen. mysteries, but none that sounded quite like this. Della sounds like a really interesting character.

This is more a formatting thing than anything else, but there are rather big blocks of text in this chapter which make it kind of easy to lose where you are. Also, you should go down to a new paragraph each time somebody speaks. It gets a bit confusing when it's all in together.

Oh, it sounds like Hugo will start Hogwarts the following year here. Most people tend to have him two years younger, like Lily, but that's not actually said in the epilogue and I think it's a bit coincidental for two of Harry's children to start Hogwarts the same year one of Ron and Hermione's does.

Are you planning a full series here? To follow Rose and Albus until they are in 7th year?

LOVE the idea of Lovegood writing a textbook and it makes sense that Flitwick and McGonagall would have updated some of the textbooks. Textbooks are often written by teachers.

A slight typo towards the end of the chapter: Ollivander speaks of a "wanf".

I wonder why he wants updates on it. Sounds like there's a mystery about the wand too.

You could maybe expand a little on why he wants those details, unless you want to keep it mysterious for a while. And even then, I think Albus or somebody might ask. And the mystery would be increased if Ollivander refused to answer.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I will take your suggestions on board, that typo would be because I write on a Samsung tablet. But I can tell you that Della Hauora will have a very interesting backstory and a twist.

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