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Reading Reviews for Yellow Light
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by katwithlove yellow light

12th June 2015:
Hi! I'm here for HC 2015 Amazing Race Challenge, for Gryffindor.

I love this. You start it off really strong about her discovering for herself that sheís not interested in boys in that way at all. There are hardly enough LGBTQA+ fictions on here and Iím glad I stumbled across this pair. Itís an unusual pairing Susan bones and Pavarti and Iíve never given it a thought until I read this fic.

This is so fluffy and very cute, Itís extremely interesting to see things from Susanís point of view because now she knows that she is very much into Pavarti, she might not know how much but youíre describing it like a realistic crush. You just happen to like certain things that theyíre associated with more and the story is flowing really naturally.

Youíve worked them being in a relationship, in this little bubble of happiness really well into the story and it honestly feels so natural for them to be drawn to one another and fall in love. I love the bit where Pavarti said yes to Harry and sheís apologizing to Susan because it makes me think if Harry didnít ask her out then she would have said yes and they wouldíve looked amazing together.
Youíre very descriptive about everything and a bit overly descriptive where it adds a lot of dimension to the HP world.

It made me squeal with delight when you put down ďthatís my girl,Ē and the fact she was so proud of her. Iím really glad that you kept them through the war though! They really leaned on each other and I think you wrote it rather realistically for a relationship going through the war.

It was a refreshingly sweet story and It was packed filled with action about the two. I really felt like I was watching it happen and that it would fit so easily into canon, youíve kept them in character.

xoxo
K

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Review #2, by patronus_charm yellow light

11th June 2015:
Hey Olivia, I had to read this story with the banner and Iím so glad I did!

Omg, wah, I donít know why but Hogwarts era femme slash always breaks my heart and this story didnít break that pattern. Susanís love for Parvati was so sincere and so lovely and just the way she admired her in Herbology with the yellow light Ė it was just so poetic and tied in with the banner so well. Just the overall description was so beautiful and wonderful and had this sense of prose to it, I want to quote it but then I would end up quoting the entire story. :P

When Susan asked Parvati who she was going to the Yule Ball with I think my heart may have died. She had just built up her hopes so much and even though they werenít crushed in a mean way, it still made me all feelsy and wanting to hug Susan and tell her it was all okay. Okay, slightly off topic, but I did like the almost biographical feel to it in the way Susan recounted events over a short period of time as that was really effective and didnít feel rushed at all and actually made me feel as if I knew them better.

"That's my girl." Ė dies!!!

One thing I loved was how you managed to change from the light-hearted and hopefully air of blossoming romance to the dark and sombre one of the Death Eaters taking over the world really well and smoothly. Those are incredibly hard moods to switch from but you did it with ease so well done! :D

The ending was so beautiful! ♥ Again, so poetic and it had this lovely calm air to it too with everything being okay and happy again and I really loved it. This was a wonderful story, and as soon as this reviewing challenge is over expect to see some SOTM nominations ;)

Kiana

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #3, by Dojh167 yellow light

5th June 2015:
I like how you characterized Susan. Since in the books she's a Hufflepuff we don't know about her, people generally assume she's pretty simple and straightforward. You dd a good job of taking that and manifesting it in her straightforward acceptance of the world and herself, while keeping her interesting to read about.

I like the nuances in Parvati's response about the Yule Ball. Even though Susan hadn't directly asked her out, Parvati seems to pick up that she wanted to and apologies that she's going with someone else. This exchange says a lot about their relationship and interactions without you having to spell it out. The fact that she isn't remotely excited to go with Harry also says a lot.

I felt that far too much of the narration was summing things up. It didn't feel too very immediate or powerful. You tried to cover a lot of information here. I think that in order to do so much time justice, it would be worth expanding this into a multi-chapter fic. Or, if you want to keep it as a one-shot, to focus on a very specific scene and explore this relationship through dialogue and action. A lot of things that you describe here are things that readers know from canon, so I think you would get more leverage from really focusing on the characters in light of these events. "Show, don't tell."

I liked how subtly you used the yellow light motif. Because you brought it in at the very beginning of the story/their relationship and again at the very end, it did a good job of helping tie the story together nicely. I can't help but wonder what kept them from kissing until then!

I'm glad that I found this fic. This isn't a pairing that I've read before, and I always enjoy when people chose to write about Hufflepuff characters. Good luck in the challenge!

Sam.

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Review #4, by Shadowkat yellow light

4th June 2015:
BvB review coming your way!

Okay, can I just gush for a moment over how much I love this? Really, I've never read this pairing before, but you've made me fall in love with it! I love how you progressed the relationship, though not spoken out loud, through the years, growing stronger and stronger with everything they were going through. They must have lost so many people during the final battle, so it wasn't exactly a happy ending, and their moment is probably going to be shattered very soon, but even through that they finally are sure of how they both feel, that they'll push through side by side. Really, can you tell I love this?

The only CC I can find is in a few places you repeated words too close to each other that could have been replaced for variety and flow. Other than that I have no complaints. :)

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Review #5, by CassiePotter yellow light

2nd June 2015:
Hi there! I'm here with your review!
I saw this story and realized that I had never read any stories about Susan Bones before, and immediately wanted to fix that!
I loved that you chose to write about Susan. I think minor characters are always the most interesting to explore, because there's so much room to be creative with them. I thought her relationship with Parvati was so honest and pure, and I loved that Susan always knew how she felt about her.
I was really nervous when she couldn't find Parvati during the battle, but in the end all the fighting they went through made their happy ending that much sweeter.
I thought this was a beautiful story, and I really enjoyed it!
Cassie :)

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Review #6, by alicia and anne yellow light

15th May 2015:
How has this not got any reviews yet? Surely that's blasphemy!

I must admit, I have never thought of the pairing Susan and Parvati! But I already know that you're going to make it an awesome pairing :D I'm very excited!

Awww Susan looked forward to Herbology because of Parvati! She's so cute! I absolutely love that this story is called yellow light, because that's what Susan thinks makes Parvati glow. Gah! They're so adorable already! :D

I absolutely adore how they've grown together, and how they've fallen for each other. I love that they haven't rushed into anything with each other, that they're waiting for the right time.

This one shot was fabulous! And I loved this so much! I seriously can't stop smiling at them finally getting together. It was evident how much Susan cared for Parvati in this and their love is so believable!!

Fantastic job! :D

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