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Reading Reviews for Murphy's Law
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by luna1306 Chapter Three

4th December 2016:
I like the way this story is starting

Please update!

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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote Chapter Three

26th May 2016:
Hello!

I'm sort of still worked up about certain events today, but I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love this story and I'm SO glad you didn't abandon in! I think you've got an awfully wonderful story so far and I will certainly be writing in depth, meaningful reviews for it in the future!

I absolutely adore both Connie and Pippa. Pippa is absolutely precious and dynamic and interesting. I love the horrendously awkward relationship between Pippa and James and Albus.

All in all, I'm sorry this review is short but if something happened today I wanted to make sure you knew I loved this story! I can't wait for the next chapter!

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Review #3, by LittleMissAutumn Chapter Three

23rd May 2016:
Ahhh Albus is such a babe! Pipa's such a cute character and she's very likeable. James seems like a sweetie pie but he's a little too aggressive in his approach, although it still seems to work for him. Regardless, Albus/Pip!

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Review #4, by SilverMoonFairy Chapter Three

22nd May 2016:
I just- I just- I... I freaking love this story. And while I hope it doesn't take another year to update, I'm more than willing to wait on it if it does! Pippa is such an amusing character and I really enjoy Connie, too. I like that not every Weasley and Potter is in Gryffindor (I actually put Dominique in Ravenclaw, too!) and am I to understand that Albus IS, in fact, a Slytherin? Because I am very much okay with that!

James' obsession... I wonder, will this date with him, after him being so annoying to her, actually be a turning point? And she actually ends up liking him? And then Albus is like what the heck, I was going to ask you out after you got done telling my bro off! And then- and then-! And then I shut up and let you write your own story, hahaha!

Okay, sorry, for the rambling. Now for technicals.

Today class, we shall be learning to Silencing Charm

Should be 'the' I think?

There may be others, I dunno, that was just the first one I saw before being swept up in the story... XD I normally keep notes but I... Forgot.

Have I mentioned I love this? Def going on the favorites list!

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Review #5, by SilverMoonFairy Chapter Two

22nd May 2016:
I was going to wait until the next chapter to leave a review, but I noted these mistakes and thought I'd let you know. The first is missing a word and the second should be 'something' rather than 'sometime.' Also, near the end, Potter is not capitalized?

Carefully making my through the tunnels to the Common Room
“Why do you always assume I want sometime?”

But very good so far, very amusing! I am enjoying this immensely. By the way, what year are they in? The story hasn't mentioned yet.

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Review #6, by LastMinuteLuna Chapter One

31st May 2015:
Hello! Hello!

I'm LastMinuteLuna and I'm dropping by to leave you a review for the Pass It Along Challenge! I know. I know. It's awfully close to the deadline. I am cutting it quite close, but they don't call me LastMinuteLuna for nothing!

But enough about me. Let's talk about your fabulous story!

Poor Pippa Murphy. She seems to be the epitome of bad luck. She's like an earthquake sending off bad luck vibrations to everyone in close proximity. I mean it must be really tough for her.

I think it's really sad that she's excluded from everything because of her luck. I'm glad that she at least has one friend, although I'm sure she's still frequently lonely.

Your characterization of James was interesting. Usually we see him portrayed as the player or lover boy type, but here you've made him sound like a somewhat creepy stalker. It was quite refreshing.

Just a quick bit of CC. I did notice a handful of typos and missing words in this, so you may want to run through it briefly and edit it a bit.

Uh oh! Times up. I have to run. I've got a few more reviews to leave and the deadline is approaching! Thanks for such an amusing story!

From,
LastMinuteLuna

Author's Response: Hi LastMinuteLuna!

Haha, no they certainly do not! But I don't mind last minute reviews!

She is! She has no luck except for bad luck but she gets on with it.

She's not entirely excluded - just from the things that are important, like quidditch and secret parties but she understands and has come to terms with it. But she does have friends and there are people brave enough to approach her!

Haha, it wasn't my intention but I guess it does work. He doesn't give up and Pippa just finds him super annoying and I guess, a little creepy!

Thank you! Typos are the bane of my life so thank you! I'll go back and take a look!

Thank you for the wonderful review!

-Vicki


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Review #7, by Earl E. Bird Chapter Two

29th May 2015:
Earl E. Bird again, stopping by for a friend of mine.

I am now seeing how a condition like Pip's would result in some social strain. Hurting those around you and breaking their belongings has never been a great recipe for likability, even if by accident. I am beginning to feel more and more sorry for her. It almost seems that she cannot live a normal life with all of this always going on.

Dominique is a very interesting character. I wonder what it is about her that so often places her as the gossip loving character in many of these stories that I have come across in my many favors for a certain friend of mine. The Murphy's Law column sounds like it would be a hit, I admit. Some of her accidents do sound quite humorous, no matter how disastrous they must feel to her.

James Potter is quite persistent, isn't he? I wonder why he's so interested in Pip, considering the fact that most people seem to avoid her. Maybe he simply likes a challenge. Being a friend of hers seems as though it'd be a challenge in and of itself. Which is horrible, seeing as it's of no fault of her own.

Connie's note passing is especially interesting. I've never heard of this practice before. I must say, that is one original concept if I have ever seen one.

Turning goblets into birds, you say! That sounds quite challenging, considering how complex we birds are. Pip is frightened of us, you say?! I can't believe this. We're very kind creatures, I assure you! (Well, unless you're a worm, but let's not mention that) At least she prefers us to James Potter. That alone is consolation.

I continue to be intrigued by your interesting plot and cast of characters, but I seem to have run out of chapters. Nonetheless, I will continue onto other stories, as requested by a friend of mine.

And another clue for you: The friend that I am speaking on behalf of also considers The Shawshank Redemption one of their favorite films.

Until next time,
Earl E. Bird.

Author's Response: Hello again, Earl.

Hmmm, it does hurt her social life a little bit but not too much, having friends like Connie does help, as she's used to it!

I don't know, that's just how I see her! It's a strange one but it must be the vibe we get! Oh it definitely is and that's why Dom is so persistent on finding out what Pip's been up to!

He is and I have no idea - I think it is simply to challenge aspect and the fact she has no interest in him?

I did my best to make her extremely original - she needed her own quirk, especially hanging with Pippa, she had to be a little crazy!

The bird thing comes from me - I am terrified of birds but I am sure you are all lovely, I just can't see past the wings and beaks!

Thank you so much for another lovely review!

-Vicki


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Review #8, by Earl E. Bird Chapter One

29th May 2015:
Hello! This is Earl E. Bird, stopping by for a friend of mine. They haven't much time, so they decided to send me in their place.

I feel quite bad for Pippa and really emphasize with her situation. I can only imagine if I had a condition like hers! I might even... *gulp* not get the worm!

At first, I admit I did believe that these instances may have been mere coincidence, as did her parents. But over the course of the chapter, I began to suspect some supernatural in nature may be in effect. Maybe a curse of some kind? Simply because, this kind of luck couldn't possibly be natural! But, alas, I must wait to find out.

I agree that this 'Pin the tail on the donkey' game is quite strange. It sounds rather violent. (But at least it isn't called Pin the tail on the bird!)

It seems as though most everyone in Pippa's life is quite the character. I suppose all of the normal people at Hogwarts would run for their lives when they see her approaching. I am most interested in what sort of strange adventures these people might get up to. I'd say that leaving your dramatic, angsty comfort zone has worked out fine so far, as this is quite the comedy. Very exciting start to things so far!

Here's a little clue for you: my friend that I am speaking on behalf of has a banner by this Mintleaf at The Dark Arts as well!

Until next time,
Earl E. Bird.

Author's Response: Hello Earl E. Bird!

She is very unfortunate and has the worst luck in the world. Poor girl!

I didn't initially have a curse in mind but you've definitely given me food for thought and I might have to look at my plot again and see what I can do!

It is very violent! The poor donkey!

Yes! I think it would take a certain type of person to be around Pippa for the long haul. Thank you so much, that means a lot!!

-Vicki


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Review #9, by Shadowkat Chapter One

17th May 2015:
Hey, it's Kat coming over from the forums!

This is a really interesting concept, and I'm not going to lie, it's definitely caught my attention.

I did spot some errors, but those can be fixed with a few quick run throughs, and other than that it read fairly smooth.

I'm definitely going to come back and see what happens with this!

Author's Response: Hey Kat! I am so sorry this has taken me so long to respond!

Thank you! I'm glad I've captured your attention! I was really unsure about this story so i'm glad you seemed to like it!

Thank you! Typos are the bane of my life, i do re-read but I always miss them so i'll definitely re-read!

I'm glad you're going to come back! You've made me smile!

Thank you so much for reviewing!

-Vicki


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Review #10, by greenbirds Chapter Two

17th May 2015:
hahahaha. that asking out story was really funny and creative, especially how it was pippa and not james. im not too sure how i feel about dom but connie is really cool! i love her and pippa's banter, you're very good at writing it.
update soon! this has so much potential to be unbelievable ly amazing superb etc etc- and the whole bad luck aspect is a refreshing new take on the old cliche james/oc rom com, yeah im really liking it!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ahhh, Dom is one of those characters you're not meant to know how you feel about so I'm glad that's coming across! I love Connie so i'm glad you like her - I feel like she's the perfect compliment to Pippa! Aww, thank you!

A new chapter will be up in the near future! I kind of lost my muse but i'm determined to get started with it again! Thank you so much for thinking this could be an amazing story - your words are so lovely!

Thank you for reviewing!

-Vicki


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Review #11, by LittleMissAutumn Chapter Two

17th May 2015:
This is so cute! I unfortunately share Pippa's clumsiness and I can't wait to read about her and James' date in Hogsmeade!

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Oh no, I couldn't imagine being as clumsy as Pippa although saying that, I am pretty clumsy sometimes myself! There will be a new chapter eventually in the near future!

Thank you for reviewing!

-Vicki


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Review #12, by merlins beard Chapter Two

15th May 2015:
Hi! I was really happy when I saw that you had another chapter up! It was really great to read this! I enjoyed it a lot!
I actually read it last night on my way home from the huge AC/DC concert!

I find Pippa hilarious and I can relate to some of the things that happen to her on so many levels... walking over a flat, stable surface can be a challenge at times, even barefoot...
I think she takes all this so well... I would be so mad at Dom for what she did in the Great Hall, but Pippa just takes it without a word of complaint... Dom really isn't a very nice friend... (Though I am sure she's be someone Pippa can count on when it really matters)

Right, a date with James... how did that happen? Oh yeah, the note from Connie... does that mean Connie doesn't get a date? Because that would be sad.
James takes everything personally... he might have to learn that he isn't the center of the universe... even if the note had been Pippa's to begin with, it wouldn't have to be meant for him...

I really can't wait for the date! I bet it's going to be somewhere between romantic and hilarious!

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hi Anja! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond! I'm terrible!

Oh wow, hope you enjoyed your concert!

Oh i'm the same, i've done it countless times - I have no sense of balance so i relate to her in someways! I think she's jsut used to it - like, it's nothing new in her life. Ah, Dom isn't so much of a bad friend, just very abrupt - Pippa takes it in her stride though!

Haha, no no, Connie will get her date, I promise! Maybe so! I just see James as taking any opportunity to get a date with her, even if he knew it wasn't meant for him!

Hopefully I will have another chapter up in the near future!

Thank you for your review!

-Vicki


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Review #13, by Unicorn_Charm Chapter Two

14th May 2015:
Hi there! Back for round 2 of our swap!

Oh my goodness, this girl! The poor thing really cannot catch a break, can she? She reminds me of Mildred Hubble from The Worst Witch a little bit, but so, so, so much more unfortunate haha. She really is a walking calamity.

I can't believe she hid breaking her best friend's things for weeks. I would've been mad too if I were Connie. Although, probably not long, again like Connie. I'm horrible at holding grudges.

Aww the poor thing, falling in front of everyone and her underwear out for the world to see. I can't get over the bad luck she has! I mean, I know she's extremely unlucky, but you're putting her through hell haha.

I don't think I like Dom. Who knows, maybe she'll grow on me? But she seems kind of awful right now. Like she doesn't care about anyone or anything but that paper. Like it doesn't matter who she may hurt. Almost Rita-ish. *shudder*

James is overbearing. Poor Pip. At least she doesn't sit back and take his nonsense. She does try to stand up for herself, even though he causes her to have another accident. The poor thing.

I love that Connie writes notes back and forth with boys instead of talking to them! :)

Of course she would be deathly afraid of birds, only to have class be them turning things into birds. Again. Horrible luck.

Ahh! Hahaha! Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see this date! Or if she'll weasel out of it. Who am I kidding? With her luck, of course she'll end up going on the date and it will probably be a disaster. I can't wait!

This is really great so far! I mean, I feel so bad for Pip! I want to just hug her. I hope here's an update soon because I need to know what happens next!

Thanks again for the swap! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi again!

OMG, you know who Mildred Hubble is? I don't know anyone on HPFF who knows who she is! but yes, she does remind me of her so much!

Connie should be used to it by now haha! But yes, you'd be annoyed, I know I would be but Pippa is too cute to stay mad with! Haha, yes I am but she takes it in her stride!

Dom will grow on you - I didn't mean to make her unlikable, as such. And in later chapters, hopefully she'll come across nicer!

He is indeed but she is used to it and ignores him for the most part! And she tends to have more bad luck when he's around!

Haha, the bird thing comes from me - I have a phobia of birds so I knew I had to include it and it would be my luck that birds appeared so I transferred it onto poor Pip!

Haha, you'll have to wait and see, when I finally get the chapter up!

Thank you for the lovely review Meg!

-Vicki


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Review #14, by Unicorn_Charm Chapter One

14th May 2015:
Hiya! Here for our swap!

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever read on this site. I was laughing at almost every paragraph! This poor girl! XD

Well clearly, she does have the WORST luck in the world. Muggle or Wizarding. Oh my goodness her with that bike was just priceless! I could easily see all of the incidents of her in the bin and the pond and the tree. I loved the line, "if only I had realised early on that it was the stabilisers keeping me upright and not my amazing bike riding skills." :D :D :D

Oh dear, and the fact that she couldn't even draw or make candles without horribly hurting herself, or nearly killing the family was great! All of the examples were fantastic and did such a great job of, not only showing how her luck is the literal worst, but it showed her personality really well, too! Excellent job on that!

Of course her first time getting on the Hogwarts Express would be a disaster. It wouldn't be any other way, would it? ;) And of all the people to completely embarrass herself in front of, it would be the Wotters. Again, classic! :D

Well at least she's not totally alone. I was beginning to feel really bad for her, thinking that she didn't have any friends at all. (PS. I loved that bit with Constance/constant. Very nice) But she has Constance and, to an extent, Dom. That's something at least. I am dying to see her interactions with James. From that little bit we were teased with, it seems like that is going to be very interesting.

This was such a great first chapter! Really well written and just so, so funny! I'm really glad that I got to do the swap with you, and I can't wait to read the next chapter! Great job!! ♥ ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

Thank you! I think this is a good thing? I hope it is anyway! I'm glad I could make you laugh!

She does and that's why I love her so much! I couldn't imagine ever being that clumsy but It's seriously funny to write about!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! I wanted to convey what every day tasks she couldn't do because she is just a bad luck magnet!

Of course - she had to make a name for herself somehow haha! And yes, they're the best people to make a fool of yourself in front of!

No she's not! I'm not that cruel and she is genuinely lovely so she does have friends, especially Connie and Dom, even if she seems like a bit of a cow here!

Thank you for the lovely review Meg!

-Vicki


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Review #15, by Chivalrous Chapter Two

14th May 2015:
I love this! The premise is excellent with Pippa and Murphy's Law!

Your characters are very vivid and seem to jump off the page! Especially Pippa, Connie, and Dominique, on a side note I love your characterization of Dom!

I can see where the plot is beginning to take form and I'm very excited to see where this story goes!

Post soon!

Sincerely,
Ireland

Author's Response: Hey! I am so sorry for taking so long to respond! I was putting responding off but I am determined to respond to everyone before New Years!

So thank you so much for reviewing this story! I was so unsure about this - it's ridiculously out of my comfort zone so every review means a lot!

Thank you! I'm glad you loved it! That's what I was going for - I really wanted Pippa to be likeable and vibrant and just to be amazing so i'm glad you think she jumps off the page! Haha, thank you! Dom was quite hard to write so i'm glad you like her!

Thank you! I know I haven't updated in forever but there will be new chapter in the near future!

Thank you again for reviewing!

-Vicki


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Review #16, by Irishseeker Chapter One

10th May 2015:
This was such a good first chapter. A great introduction to your character and it was so funny and entertaining to read. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for your review!!

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Review #17, by marauderfan Chapter One

8th May 2015:
Review swap!!

I actually know someone who seems to have ALL the bad luck, similarly to Pippa in your story, and one thing I've noticed about people who attract bad luck is they always have the BEST stories to tell because their lives have so many ridiculous things. Pippa seems like this sort of narrator - she's got a sense of humour about her bad luck which makes it all really funny to hear about.

Poor thing though - I couldn't help wondering if she's got a curse on her or something! haha. The curse of her surname, maybe. I did appreciate that her surname is Murphy ;) But really - everything they do at Hogwarts involves some sort of potential danger, like the high likelihood of encountering angry magical creatures or accidentally Transfiguring tendrils onto your face or exploding a potion - how does she participate in classes at all?! haha I could see her excelling at Arithmancy though, I don't think there's anything too dangerous about numbers. :p

Love the idea that Dom uses Pippa's bad luck to drive off dates she's changed her mind about. At least it's good luck for Dom if nothing else! :p

Also, the last three lines of this chapter are genius and I love it. :D It's just so wizardy, too - I could totally see Frogbeard being a wizard surname, and Hogwarts having a frog choir - of course. Not only is it a hilarious way to end the chapter as Pippa puts things in perspective, it fits right in with the quirky wizarding world we know and love.

Way to get out of your comfort zone and post this! I wouldn't have guessed that this was a new style for you - nicely done. Thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

You do? Oh gosh, that must be hard for them! But yes, I can imagine them having so many stories to tell! I think if you didn't have a sense of humour, you'd just cry so i'd like to think in the end, you'd just take it in your stride and get on with it and embrace the clumsiness!

Haha, she doesn't but it's not hard to imagine it! Haha, I had to give her the surname Murphy! Haha, you'd be surprised what could happen in Arithmancy! But yes, she does struggle but as long as she in a secure, contained environment, she's not too bad!

Haha, yes! Well someone had to profit from all her bad luck and Dom just takes advantage of it!

Haha, thank you! I was so unsure about the end, whether it was too quirky and cheesy but i'm glad you liked it!

Awww, thank you! That means an awful lot! Thanks for the swap!

-Vicki


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Review #18, by Flower n Prongs Chapter One

8th May 2015:
Hi! I'm stopping by for our review swap.

You say that this is far out of your angst-y, dramatic comfort zone but I wasn't able to tell at all. I knew it was very different from The Defenders, obviously, but I would never have guessed that you are new to writing humour. The fact that you chose a girl with the surname Murphy to write about Murphy's Law shows that you have an eye for the comedic.

The tone of this chapter was great. You introduced us to Pippa and have proven that she has bad luck beyond what could be simply a coincidence in a way that was not boring at all. On the contrary, you infused so much humour into it that I wasn't waiting for the story to start but feeling sorry for poor Pippa. (And, I'll admit it, giggling at her misfortune.)

This idea is so unique that I'm glad you got the courage to post it. There are not many people who could make drawing dangerous, who could crash into things on their first three attempts at riding a bike, and who could get their friend out of dates. More than that, her "curse" is even known by the teachers and gets her out of Astronomy lessons, presumably.

I love that you made Professor Vector the Headmistress after McGonagall too, by the way.

This was very funny. I'm interested to see where this goes. =)

- Rhaenyra

Author's Response: Hey Rhaenyra, sorry it's taken me so long to respond!

Thank you! That really means a lot - this is definitely far out of my comfort zone but i'm glad you didn't think so! Haha, thank you! That was definitely part of the plan!

Thank you! I really wanted Pippa to stand out and be noticed and what better way than to be super clumsy? Haha, I giggled while writing this, I must admit but I could just imagine everything that happened to her!

Awww, thank you! It took a while and a lot of pep talks and kind words but I am really glad that I did too!

Thank you so much for your review!

-Vicki


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Review #19, by Claire Evergreen Chapter One

8th May 2015:
Hey, Vicki! Here for our swap :)

I am so glad that I picked this story to read because it sounds like it is going to be both adorable and hilarious.

Pippa sounds like she's going to be a wonderful narrator. Even though this is a really brief snapshot of some of the characters who I assume are going to be the focal point of the story, I can already tell that I'm going to love Pippa. She's funny and witty and down to earth and I can't wait to get to know her and her friends.

The idea of James as Pippa's stalker is absolutely hilarious to me, just because he's usually portrayed as the playboy or the guy that everyone wants to be with. I can already tell that it's going to be so amusing to see the interactions between him and Pippa.

This is such an interesting concept for a story and one I'm extremely excited to get to read more of. I never would have though of using Murphy's Law as a plot device, but you've done a great job setting it all up. I know in your author's note you said that this is way out of your comfort zone, but do not worry because you're doing a marvelous job here! I can't wait to read more!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hey Claire! So sorry it's taken me forever to respond!

Aww, thank you!

I actually kind of adore Pippa, she's so different to my other characters that she really stands out to me! I'm glad that's how she's come across!

I wanted to portray him a little differently, sort of like a puppy who won't leave her alone - the more she runs, the more he follows, sort of thing! It's been really fun to write!

Thank you! It was a moment of inspiration and I couldn't help but write it! Thank you! It really is but i'm glad you enjoyed it!!

Thank you so much for your lovely review!

-Vicki


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Review #20, by tangledconstellations Chapter One

7th May 2015:
Hey there! ♥

Thank you so much for my review - I thought I'd swing by and return the favour, and this story in particular caught my attention!

I'm with you ~ I always tend to stick to angst/drama/all the feelings when I'm writing and I've never actually attempted to write a humour fic at all. But I thought this was really good, and I absolutely love the tone that you've set up! I think Pippa is a really sweet character - I love that she's sort of distanced herself from all the accidents she keeps having so she's just talking about it in a really objective way! That's really effective I think. This was a really good introduction to her, and your anecdotes here were really funny.

I also love your writing style! You've used some really witty turns of phrase here and there's a sort of tired edge to Pippa's narration that suggests she's so done with being worried about her injuries. They're just a part of life! As an intro this chapter was short and sweet and I'm looking forward to seeing Pippa grow as the novel does, too.

My one bit of cc is that maybe you could expand on the anecdotes and the accidents a little? I think what you have is hilarious, but it wouldn't hurt to make them take up more room and to delve into them a lot deeper, because I'd love to sort of see them 'in reality' and see more of your descriptive, scene-setting writing and to see how they played out exactly. You could also maybe use that opportunity to provide some more information about Pippa, the way she moves and looks, that sort of thing? But at the same time, it is really funny that they're short little events that you've mentioned. It makes me think that there are soo many more! :D

I really enjoyed this, and I'm really excited to see where you're going to take this! A clumsy person around rogue magic ~ what could possibly go wrong, hey? :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!

Aww, thank you! you didn't have to! and you're welcome, I love reviewing your stories!

Angst/drama is my go to so this was a change but i'm glad you liked it! It was hard to write at first but once I got into it, Pippa exploded and I fell in love with her so I began enjoying it! I think because she's so used to them that she can talk about them like that! Thank you!

Thank you! that means a lot coming from you! Yes! She is, she's just so used to it that it's nothing new now, it's an everyday thing! thank you again!

Yes, it's not the first time that this has been mentioned and I think because I was in such a rush to submit this, I didn't expand but I will definitely go back and see what I can do.

Thank you so much for this lovely review Laura!

-Vicki


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Review #21, by Veritaserum27 Chapter One

3rd May 2015:
Hi there!

I'm here for the BvB battle!

Wow. I would never believe that this was your first attempt at a light, witty story! It was written really well and flowed so nicely. I smiled the entire time I was reading it. I couldn't help but feel bad every time I snickered at Pippa's misfortune :D

I thought this was a great first chapter as well! You did a fabulous job setting the tone of the story, introducing the main characters and setting up a little bit of conflict with the premise of an accident-prone protagonist.

I found two small typos. Here:

My parents agreed and I got a bike for birthday,

should probably read, "My parents agreed and I got a bike for my birthday,"

And this one:

The secret parties that the seventh year’s holds always remain secret to me.

Should be, "The secret parties that the seventh years hold always remain secret to me.

I am definitely intrigued as to where this story is going. James Potter is always a great character - and the fact that he has a crush on Pippa is a stray from his normal portrayal. Mostly, I've seen other girls stalking him, so I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Great job!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth! Sorry it's taken me forever to respond! I'm awful!

Thank you! I'm glad it comes across that way because I was so nervous writing this - angst is more my scene so this was a big deal to post! Haha, I was the same whilst writing it - I love laughing at Pippa and she takes it all in her stride!

Aww, thank you! I'm glad you think so! It means a lot coming from you!

Ahhh, typos! Thanks for noticing them. I do go back and read but I always miss something!

Well, I wanted to see him a little different and I really wanted him to be the one who follows her rather than the other way round!

Thanks so much Beth! Your review has made me smile!

-Vicki


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Review #22, by merlins beard Chapter One

1st May 2015:
Hi there.

This starts off really interesting. I can really relate to Pippa, as I've had my fair share of embarrassing/painful/possibly dangerous incidents...
(Fell into a pond in February with a water temperature of 4 degrees celsius when I was two and couldn't swim - and we were a 5 hour drive away from home)

That being said, it did get a littlw better over the years - I can now actually walk across a flat, stable surface without tripping over ny own feet more than once...

Pippa does have a hard time... this is the first time I ever read of Hogwarts and thought "oh how boring would it be to be there like she is.",which is actually a very good thing because it sets your story apart from all the others. (Plus it will not get boring with a person like Pippa around).

I really like that Dom Weasley spends time with Pippa, but I think the other Weasleys would also be brave enough to befriend her. Apparently, Potter boys are always a little annoying when they go after a girl, but they usually triumph in the end, so that will be interesting to see.

You could maybe slow down the beginning a little. The first half ot of the chapter feels like you couldn't wait to finaly get into the story, so you just posted a list of mishaps. Maybe Pippa could actually experience some of them instead of just telling us about them.

maybe if you write a couple more chapters about Pippa's life, you get to know her better and can come back here to tell us more about her childhood.

The second part of the chapter (where she's at Hogwarts) is very good and I really can't wait for more. You've set up a really great story here. It will go on my currently reading list so I won't miss any updates.

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hi Anja! Thank you so much for reviewing and I am so sorry it's taken so long for me to respond!

Oh wow, that's bad luck! I'm glad you can relate to her, even if it is because you've had your fair share of bad luck!

Well that's good! I still can't do that - I trip over thin air most of the time!

Thank you! I can honestly never imagine a boring day for Pippa or anyone around her - she's a constant source of entertainment!

I honestly think they would to! They will feature more in later chapters, I just wanted to show who her main friends are and the character who will be more of a focus but more Weasley and Potter's will appear! Well yes, this is how we imagine all Potters, I guess but we'll see!

I did feel as though it was a little rushed so I will definitely go back and take a look, maybe expand on parts of them rather than just list them.

There will be some small flashbacks of Pippa's past and her growing up, so I hope that's enough for you!

Thank you! And that's really sweet and I feel honoured you would put it on your current reading list so thank you so much!!

-Vicki


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Review #23, by InkStainedFingers Chapter One

1st May 2015:
This is, in my opinion, a fantastic opening chapter.

I’m going to start this review by admitting that I’ve never heard of Murphy’s Law before I saw your story summary. “Anything that can possibly go wrong, does.” is such a great concept to base a story around. In a school like Hogwarts, there would be so, so many things that could go wrong. You already mentioned quite a few in this chapter – Astronomy Tower, potions ingredients, magical creatures, etc. – but there are so many possibilities. Exploding potions, falling into trick steps, candle wax from the candles about the tables in the Great Hall dripping down, tripping over suits of armour (suits of armour following her around to trip her up?), accidentally transfiguring her desk into a raven instead of the ink pot they had been given... there are so many possibilities for constant accidents and mishaps.

(I think I may have got a bit carried away there, sorry...)

I think the best thing about this chapter is that you really get a sense of Pippa’s character. Apart from her accident-prone nature, she seems very optimistic – which is both a good thing and rather surprising, given her terrible luck – and cheerful and funny and friendly. She strikes me as a very, very likable character, despite her ‘condition’. Speaking of her terrible bad luck, is it just bad luck (a lot of bad luck) or some sort of curse that has been placed on her? Because she does seem to have slightly more ill-fortune than is probable. If it isn’t a curse, and is just bad luck (a lot of bad luck) I am interested to see how she overcomes this and manages to get on with her life. Because of her disproportionated bad luck, she probably has to work twice as hard to achieve anything, but I have a feeling that she is a very determined person, and probably will succeed eventually. (Spell-check is telling me that ‘disproportionated’ isn’t actually a word... I feel like it might be right on this occasion.)

One of my favourite lines in this chapter is: “Bad luck followed me around like an evil puppy I couldn’t quite shake off my leg.” I think that is a gorgeous simile to describe her situation.

I do feel really sorry for Pippa though. Being avoided by her classmates, outcast from seventh years’ secret parties, banned from Quidditch matches... life as a “social pariah” cannot be fun. I mean, it’s not her fault that she has slightly (or possibly more than slightly) more bad luck than everyone else, is it? I’m glad she has at least two good friends who stick by her. You give a really good impression of Dominique and Constance and their friendship dynamics without going into too much detail. I’m also interested to see how her relationship with a certain Potter (namely James) will develop.

I also really, really like this line: “So that’s my life in a most probably cracked nutshell.”

It’s a brilliant chapter, but I did notice one small grammar-y mistake. In the line “It was quite clear that these events weren’t isolated incidents and there were far too many for them to be classed coincidences.” it feels as though there is an ‘as’ missing between ‘classed’ and ‘coincidences’. Though reading that back over you could be doing that deliberately... so if that was intentional please completely ignore this.

I love how you build up the narrative of the chapter (that’s probably not remotely the right word to describe this, but I hope you know what I mean). You start with her at six years old, and the first noticeable bad-luck-magnet incident occurs, and describe it beautifully, and then move from the bicycle riding to drawing to almost burning down the house to capsizing sweet trolleys. I really love the last bit, where she reflects on how her life could be much worse than it is. Being cursed the surname ‘Frogsbeard’ really is terrible luck.

I think this is a great chapter: you give a really good introduction to your characters and a fantastic setting for whatever is to come in future chapters – I’m very excited to see what is going to happen in the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for this review and I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond to!

Aww, thank you so much! That really means a lot because I was so unsure about this story so thank you!

It's an amazing precept - I was watching something and it was mentioned and I suddenly had an idea for a story and this happened! Oh, that's a only a few things. Like you said, there are so many possiblities and they'll be mentioned in later chapters, I promise!

No, no, don't be sorry! They're all amazing ideas so if I use them, I will most definitely credit!

Thank you! I honestly love Pippa as a character - her whole personality really makes me smile and it's easy to write her. It's honestly just bad luck but the idea of a curse is interesting - you've got me thinking now!

That's my favourite line and I really felt it fit her personality too - she's just too nice to think of it in any other way!

Most of the time, she's fine and she does have friends and people talk to her, it's just when anything slightly important is happening that they avoid her at all costs but I thinks she likes the break - it means she can be clumsy and no one will notice! I love Dom and Connie so i can't wait to write more of them! And aha, James is an interesting one, i'm excited to write more chapters with him in.

Thank you for pointing that out! I'm a sucker for missing things so I do appreciate you picking up on it!

Haha, the Frogsbeard part is my favourite - it just came to me and made me laugh so I had to put it in! But thank you! I wasn't sure if it was too vague in parts because i'm skimming over her younger years but i'm glad you liked the build up!

Thank you so much for the wonderful review!!

-Vicki


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