Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for The Book Of Merlin
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Shadowkat Chapter 1:Of Sleeping Dragons

27th April 2015:
Wow, I can't believe no one's reviewed this gem yet!

There were a few grammar errors littered around, as well as some information contradicting the laws of canon, like Harry still having the elder wand and Nicolas still being alive after Harry graduated, even though he died with the Philosophers stone in book one. You also used the word mate a few too many times, as well as overusing names. In a real conversation, you wouldn't do that near as much, so you want it to sound more natural. I'd suggest going over and signing up on the forums and getting a beta to help with those pesky errors, if you don't have an account already. You could also go to The Dark Arts forum and try and put up a request for a banner, which would catch more eyes and bring readers to this story. You have some problems with missing commas, and a few places words that should be capitalized aren't.

Honestly, with some edits and minor twiking, all that could be easily fixed. Another thing, it would probably be better with original characters in the main roles, so you could keep some of the other stuff and still not be contradicting the books. Maybe set it back in time a bit, say the 1800's. I can totally see this working, and it will give you plenty of room to work some more ideas in. Plus, since you don't have any other reviews yet, you'd have plenty of time to do that, and it could be easily worked in considering you only have three chapters up.

Honestly, I love this idea. It seems so original and interesting! I can't wait to come back later and read some more!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login