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Reading Reviews for Delicate
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LeahHightower Summer Meadows

30th August 2016:
This is really interesting... especially the idea that Severus wanted to be a teacher even as a young child. I got the impression that he took the job because it was all he could get, but I like the idea of his desire for it starting earlier!

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Review #2, by Dinthemidwest Summer Meadows

19th February 2016:
Fun! What an interesting pairing-I'm enjoying this story!

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Review #3, by HermyLuna2 Summer Meadows

13th June 2015:
Hi,

I was checking your stories out and I saw that this one had no reviews at all, which I thought was such a shame.
I love the way you take the time to describe the environment, as a big lover of nature I could picture it vividly and it was a great touch. I think there were a few spelling mistakes though although I'm not sure because English is not my first language: were sat -> sat and lay down -> layed down.
I like the idea of a friendship between Severus and Narcissa, that is very original. If that was the case then he would have been popular with the ladies even at such a young age!!
The way you described them playing was very cute and what I also really loved was how you described Lily through the eyes of a jealous Narcissa. I think your Lily is REALLY in character and "Oh..Uh, that's Narcissa" he said, waving his hand carelessly in Narcissa's direction and ""Lovely to meet you, I'm Lily." She simpered sweetly, holding a hand out for her to shake, which Narcissa rudely ignored." were the best lines of the story in my opinion because they summed it up in a beautiful simplicity. Andromeda is such a sweetheart here, and I love the slightly open ending. I also love how you incorporated magic, such as with the narcissus and the healing spells. Sometimes you used a bit too many adverbs I think, but that is a style choice. JK Rowling uses them a lot too so it does help copying the feel of the books, but sometimes it can make things a bit too easy for the reader I think - if you want to give the reader an easy experience it's good, but if you want them to read it more slowly it's best to avoid them.
Anyway, overall I thought this was a really original story, quite sad but a lovely take on Narcissa and Severus. I didn't expect this at all when I clicked on it. Is it going to have more chapters?

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm sorry I've taken so long responding to your reviews, I am a dreadful procrastinator especially when it comes to things like answering reviews. I spent the whole time feeling horribly guilty every time I came to check for updates on my favourite stories >_<

Anywho, I'm here to respond now! I'm so pleased that you liked my description, people have commented on my lack of description in certain stories of mine so I decided to go all out on this one.

Also, jealous Narcissa is my favourite part of the story, I figured that if Lily appeared then Severus would instantly abandon Narcissa, most likely not realising that he's hurting her feelings. He seems like a fairly oblivious character in many ways to me so I loved trying to show people how I see him in this first chapter.

I will definitely be writing more chapters, I think you might enjoy my portrayal of Narcissa and her close friends later in the story, they are quite a quirky bunch.

Thanks so much for the review :)


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