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Reading Reviews for Eye of the Serpent
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The Basilisk Revelations and Reunions

14th October 2015:
Hello, Evil Otter.

Many thankss for your explanations. I did not know thiss was a ssequel. I now undersstand why McGonagall is not Headmistress.
I am interessted in Elizabeth being at Beauxbatons. A glare comparable to mine? Colour me intrigued. (Actually, don't colour me. It'ss not easy being green, but I quite like it).
And indeed, your comparisson to my kind was quite well written. I regret forgetting to mention that in my prior review. Also, no, I shall not eat Tiger. Cat fur is too difficult to digest. ;)

I feel pity for Elizabeth, so unfairly treated. Her ssisster is obvioussly a pesst. Jealouss? Inferiority complex? Whatever the reason, sso childish and ssilly. Sspreading rumors about her own ssibling. Desspicable.

I do not understand why that LeBlanc teacher is so hateful and unprofessional and even worse, gets away with it (for now). That really gets under my scales. How special is she that such behaviour is tolerated inside Hogwarts?

I like that you thought of bringing in Peeves :)

Author's Response: Yes, this a sequel with at least one more follow up planned, although I want to go to the end of Elizabeth's schooling. I have considered a novella about Elizabeth's time at Beauxbatons to serve as a prequel. It wasn't pleasant for her and I have given it some attention in this story and my previous one.

Thank you again for your compliments about my writing. Not easy being green, huh, I seem to remember a famous amphibian singing about that.

Tiger is relieved! :)

Again, LeBlanc's motivations and more about Elizabeth's sister is explained later in this story as well as the last.

She was kind of a shining star in magical education (but was forced to leave Beauxbatons under a cloud of disgrace, you will see more of that later.

I had more fun with Peeves than I ever thought possible and he IS getting his own one shot (I'm already storyboarding that one).

Do you write? I tried to find a story from you and couldn't. I'd love to read your work.

Thanks once again and please keep letting me know what you think of my work.


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Review #2, by The Basilisk An Unwelcome Surprise

13th October 2015:
'Tis I, the Basilisk. Again. That cat sspiked my interesst. ;)

At leasst Elizabeth's mother isn't a heartless creature like her father or ssister. Good for Elizabeth.

An old ssnake like me cares little for girls gosssiping. Esspecially when they put the cat back into the cage. Tiger, you'll ssoon be mine.

For that little girl to misstake a line of puny humans for a majesstic creature like me! Pah! If that ssilly boy had not killed me before sshe was even born, I would've shown her a real undulating ssnake. Though sshe would not have sseen me coming! I am ss-so upsset, I just might curl into a ball and ss-ssulk. ! .

Oh, that Hat is sso lazy. Where is your sstupid ssword now, you sstupid hat? Pah.

I cannot help but wonder - why is McGonagall not the Headmistress?
And who is that mysteriouss white-haired LeBlanc woman? And how does Elizabeth know her (I am expecting some kind of twisted connection to her evil father).
Also, did you name her after her hair colour or vice-versa?

Author's Response: Please tell me that you don't intend to eat Tiger, that would really upset me, especially since he has a very important part to play in a later story.

Professor McGonagall stepped down from that post at the end of my first novel "Hidden Threat at Hogwarts", but stayed on to teach.

Professor LeBlanc had been Elizabeth's teacher during the term that the girl was at Beauxbatons. She has a deeper part to play father on in the story (no connection to Elizabeth's father though.

The name, well that just came out of thin air, but it gave me inspiration for her appearance. Actually, later in the story, kind Basilisk, her gaze is compared to that of yours. But yeah, the name and appearance are connected.

I love the extra letters s in your sentences.

Elizabeth's mother is much kinder to her daughter that the girl's father is. The reasons for that will be revealed later in the story.

And actually, I thought that the comparison to a large undulating snake was a compliment to your kind. Please don't sulk.


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Review #3, by The Basilisk Summer's End

13th October 2015:
I, the Basilisk, must admit that thiss sstory caught my eye. (Haha, I made a funny.)
I can relate to that long forgotten menace your sstory ssummary mentions. Probably a good friend of mine.
Also, I met a cat once.

Elizabeth, a kind ssoul born in a family not worthy of her. It is quite a shame but happens more than often.
Her ssister will bring quite the trouble, I can imagine. Her father is quite the desspicable coward, I know that already (I can ssmell them out quite well, you know). I have two fangs I wish I could ssink into their flesh. I am quite immune to human poison, you know.

I feel for your protagonisst and look forward to her taking further sstands. Standing up for yoursself is never easy, but worth the trouble.

Author's Response: Thanks for your very kind reviews, Elizabeth will continue (as she has now in my previous story and this one) to stand up for herself.

Actually, I have been planning a one-shot or novella in which one of your kind plays an extremely important part (maybe it is you).

Please continue to read my stories and let me know what you think.

I truly enjoy the extra s that you put into some words. I had to reread your reviews to get their full message but I enjoyed them immensely.


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Review #4, by goldfinch Summer's End

12th May 2015:
Hello!

I do love stories that feature the next generation and this one seems off to quite a great start! I can't wait to see what happens to Elizabeth next when she goes to Hogwarts! You ended the chapter on a rather mysterious note, which sort of makes me want to skip ahead, but I promised myself that I would finish with this one first.

I think in terms of characterisation, you've already given your readers a good look into what Elizabeth is like as well as her family. My heart goes out to Elizabeth for it's obvious that she's being treated badly. I wonder what made them hate her so much, but I suspect that'll be touched upon in the chapters to come. I like how despite her treatment, she still has a positive outlook on life and is able to sort of lock up her feelings when she's in the company of others. It's a small message saying that the cruel words of John and Anne can't truly break her. All the same, she enjoys an occasional outburst and a little scheming.

There's a Cinderella-esque feel about this chapter, and therefore the only caution I could give you is to make sure that Elizabeth doesn't turn out to be one of those Mary Sue characters where she's the tragic heroine that needs rescuing or pity. Seeing the level of your writing and how in depth the plot line seems to be even from the very first chapter, though, I highly doubt that would happen.

I love the friendship between Elizabeth and Albus. It's obvious from the way she speaks, a lot less informally then when she was with her family, that she's a lot closer to her friends than Anne or her father. It's a clever technique that's much more subtle that explicitly mentioning how close they are.

You certainly have a way with words and the story flows easily between settings. Your word choice too is quite impressive. There are some places where perhaps you could have made your sentences a little simpler just so that there's a little variation, but other than that it's practically perfect!

I really enjoyed reading this chapter and I'm on to the next one to see what happens!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your very kind review.

When I introduced the character of Elizabeth in my previous story, Hidden Threat at Hogwarts, she met with mixed reviews. Some thought her rather pitiful while others considered her a horrible brat, actually she's neither and I am rather fond of her. Her past will become more apparent as this story progresses

She is, in my opinion, merely a young girl going through the beginning of her teenage years and having to travel that horrible road that we all take. She's trying to get past the barbs that many throw at her while, at the same time remaining someone who can be a friend and also counted on.

I never thought about Cinderella when I was writing her, but I do see the similarities now that you mention them. No, she's not going to become a simpering cry-baby who has to be rescued at every turn, she's more than capable of defending herself.

I needed a love interest for her and Albus was an easy choice. They have been an item since the last story and, as this story progresses, you will learn more about what is coming in the future for the two.

The formality that she uses with her father was written as a direct comparison to the way that she speaks with her friends. I have deliberately cast him as someone who is very ready to point out the shortcomings of someone that he is supposed to love. There is a sub-plot about that I won't reveal until later in this story (or perhaps the next since it is already being planned).

Actually, I teach in a middle school so I have a lot of live models that I used as the basis for my characters. You would not believe the direct correlation between my writing and the children that I work with.

Please continue reading my story and sending reviews, I do take them into account when I write and feel that it helps me to become a better writer.

Thanks again,
Evil Otter


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