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Reading Reviews for Who I Really Am
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Who I Really Am

27th June 2015:
Hi Lea!

Here for the House Cup 2015- Gryffindor!

Poor Theodore Nott! Stuck going to the ball with someone he doesn't seem to fancy one bit. In fact, it seems like Millicent is more the convenient choice than anything. I guess I should feel some sympathy for her since she's clearly being used.

I've seen Theo paired with a lot of people, but I have to say that this is the absolute first time I've ever seen him paired with Ron. I thought that was a really intriguing choice. I wish I knew more about how this attraction for each other developed.

A touch of constructive criticism...because you have such an interesting subject here, I'd love to see you expand on it. The sudden snog session seems very out of nowhere to me. There isn't any lead up, no hints, no clues at all. I'd be very curious to know how each boy developed feelings for the other.

Your writing is technically good. It's smooth and your writing flows pretty well. I didn't really notice any awkward places. I do think you could push your description a bit more though.

All in all, good work! I really enjoyed this pairing!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hey!

When I wrote this it was with the intention of it being in two parts - this one and then a secondary one to follow it up. I guess the second one never even got into the drafting stage before I ditched it!

When I was given these two characters for the challenge, the only way I could possibly see anything between them was in fourth year, when loyalties mattered a little less and hormones were raging, and so I went with the night of the Yule ball!

Thanks for the review,
Lea


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Review #2, by TidalDragon Who I Really Am

27th June 2015:
Howdy! I'm back!

With this story you took a moment that is completely canon Ron/Hermione and turned it on its head by using the classic "missing moment" device. I enjoyed that it was from a different POV (Theodore Nott - seemingly ever popular as a alternate Slytherin perspective, perhaps because he's relatively undefined, but still within the Hogwarts Era) though because that adds a new dimension to the tale and enables us to see things we didn't already see in addition to the twist at the end.

I will say that only place it didn't seem to sync well with canon was the lack of explanation for Ron's still being irritated at Hermione. Perhaps the idea was that Ron is bisexual? As before, I thought the snogging was a bit too instantaneous, which was a shame after you'd built up the "tracking" bit by Nott so well earlier, but all's well that ends well and I thought you took a nice moment at the end to circle back to the idea that Nott, as a Slytherin needed to keep up appearances and weave in his previously unknown sexuality into that complex aspect of the era as well.

House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

Author's Response: Back again!
I considered Ron to be a very confused person at the age of 14. He was struggling through jealousy about Harry in the tournament, Hermione going to the ball with Krum, and just struggling with school and growing up in general. I think he would have felt the need to explore his surroundings a little, and he definitely feels something for Hermione but doesn't think it will go anywhere.
Nott (in my opinion anyway) is someone who really enjoys messing around with other people. I enjoyed writing him, so maybe I'll come back to his story another time.

Lea


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