Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for After
  
39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan One.

30th March 2016:
Dee!!! ♥ I promised you AGES ago that I would read this, and I'm so sorry it's taken me months to do so. But I'm so glad I had a chance to read it now.

I... wow. I kind of just sat looking at this review box for a few minutes trying to organise my thoughts and come up with words that could adequately say how I feel about this story, because saying "this is really amazing" or "great writing" just feels too shallow. There is so much in this story - it's so emotional, so raw, so real. I kept getting chills while reading the story the whole way through (and now I'm really cold) because your writing is just that powerful here.

Thankfully I have never had the experience of having a child that died, but I did lose a member of my family far too young, a few years ago. And many of the things that I felt after that appear in this story - everything from the shock of it and trying to get used to the idea, the heavy weight of grief, the misplaced guilt, to the experience of having all these memories of the person that keep cropping up. And that is all magnified in this story, seeing these familiar feelings show up but from the point of view of a father who lost his son in the worst way possible. I can't even imagine. He was waiting for Cedric to return out of the maze as a champion, expecting the best, and then was given the absolute worst news instead, which he could absolutely never in a million years have seen coming. I can't imagine anything worse than that.

This ends on such a heartbreaking note, with the way you structured it backwards in time, the ending is the most raw as it's right afterwards and just kind of leaves a gaping wound in my heart. It builds up as it goes back in time, and really is just crushing to see how he struggles to deal with it. And I have it say it's utterly genius what you did with the line about time healing all pain, how it starts out six months later and Amos still has not healed, instead his senses have just been dulled. And then to return to that line at the end when Dumbledore tells him that, it brings it back to remind the reader that it doesn't, at least not for a long time - longer than six months. The structure of this is brilliant, and reinforces every emotion you're trying to convey by making it more intense as I read on rather than dulling that pain with the time it takes to read it. Very cleverly done.

So yeah, this was a beautiful story, Dee, and I can absolutely see why you won a Dobby for it. Incredible work. ♥

 Report Review

Review #2, by Dojh167 One.

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Hello! I wish I had been able to read this story before Dobby's voting, but I wasn't able to deal with the subject matter then I'm gad I'm around now!

You open with a really great point about the difference between pain healing and lessening.

The fact that Mrs Abbot is demanding to come in is a really good, subtle way to reference Amos' state without spelling anything out. Yes, we get his emotional state from the main narrative, but that line tells us how he is physically, that he has been cooped away and not facing the world. I also wonder how she found the tie in the first place. Had she been cleaning for him because of the extent to which he is letting himself an his home go?

Wow, I didn't expect that this would go in reverse chronological order. That's rough. As painful as it starts out then, it can really only get worse. It is also a good way to capture PTSD - that you don't feel like you're moving forward with the rest of the world, but you are stuck reliving the past.

I had somehow never really thought about Cedric's mother, even though I suppose he was also there For the Third Task. I suppose he movie's brainwashed me to care more about Amos in that scene.

I definitely get why this drove them apart. They are both suffering in truly horrible ways, and in that state people simply can't take care of each other.

I think it's very realistic that at night Amos is both tortured by horrific moments/the nightmare that he could save his son, and the once joyful memories of his son's life, which are now only painful.

And his guilt... Wow, that's heavy. And very believable. Of course Cedric's death wasn't really his fault, but the size of that "What if" will only grow with time.

And again, secretly wishing Harry and Cedric's places had been switched is another touch of heart-breaking realism.

I really like this line: "You are sitting in Dumbledoreís office. You are sitting and Cedric is dead. Cedric is dead and you have been told to sit." The repetition is heart-breakingly evocative, and it really speaks to how frozen Amos is and how nothing makes sense in this moment, everything happening at once over and over in his head.

Dumbledore is so insensitive here. Not only does he try to lessen their pain, telling them it will get better, once Albus has a violent response, he does it again. That's not what they needed to hear, Albus. Well, I really can't say what it is that they needed to hear. That their son's not dead. It's an impossible situation.

Well done with this story. I'm really glad I finally got to read it.

Sam.

 Report Review

Review #3, by velajune One.

14th January 2016:
Hey,

So, I'm reading this so that I can read the sequel for the hot seat... and I'm crying.

I liked that you went backwards. You showed us how wrong that last line was. That was beautifully executed. You definitely made every word count.

June

Author's Response: This review was so lovely♥

Thank you so much, June.


 Report Review

Review #4, by daliha One.

8th October 2015:
It was awesome, I never thought about the effects of Cedric's death on his parents. I could only imagine the pain of losing a child, I think you described it well though. Poor Amos, time may heal wounds but there is always some small reminder that brings it all back.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by Crescent Moon  One.

7th October 2015:
I love this. So sad and haunting.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by MrsJaydeMalfoy One.

1st October 2015:
Oh Wow. This is SO powerful, and SO heart-breaking! Of course we all saw Amos' reaction to Cedric's death in the movies, but beyond that, I don't think anybody has really taken the time to explore his grief until now. And you did this SO well.

The explanation of the grief, the description of it, is so realistic and raw and just pure emotion - such angsty goodness! The guilt and the blaming himself and the nightmares definitely DO happen, PTSD is a very real thing, and you portrayed it so accurately here.

Your words are just so full of emotion, I can't even explain it. And using "You" the way you did helps us to connect with him even more.

This is a WONDERFUL, although sad piece, lovely. I can definitely see why it's 'Featured Story'! (And Congratulations again, by the way! Very well-deserved!)

Author's Response: JAYDDE♥

This review is SO SWEET! How can I even respond?!

When I was given Amos in the challenge, it occured to me that I'd never seen any fanfic that featured him, he's definitely an under-represented character in fanfiction. To be honest, I hadn't even thought about Amos after Goblet of Fire until I wrote this story. I kinda felt guilty about that :p

Thank you so so much for this review, it really made my day!


 Report Review

Review #7, by nott theodore One.

20th September 2015:
Dee! ♥ it's been far too long since I read and reviewed any of your wonderful stories but now I get the chance to with all the Dobby nominees, and I'm so glad I did!

This was fantastic. For a one-shot it was relatively short and yet you managed to pack so much into the words that you did use that I can't imagine this being any longer. There's so much in here - the raw emotion, pain, disbelief, numbness, grief... It's hard to even pick up on everything that you managed to include in this one review. But I think you did such a brilliant job of writing this and subtly exploring as many aspects of the story as possible.

I really loved the structure that you used here, too. Since its reverse-chronological order, the story could be read both ways and it's really clever since it does so much to emphasise the fact that time doesn't actually help heal anything like this, just changes it. You really can't say that Amos is hurting any less in the first section than the last. And I loved the circular narrative, too, the reason we opened with the proverb being because that's what Dumbledore had offered them as comfort.

The loss of a child is such a terrible thing. I honestly can't even imagine what it must feel like for any parent to have to go through that. But you wrote Amos so well - I honestly loved your characterisation of him here. He's feeling so much and he doesn't know how to cope with his grief and I just thought you wrote him so well in this story.

I loved the reminder of how the smallest things can make a day seem impossible again, even if it's ages after the event and people expect you to be functioning normally again. The tie appearing and all of the memories that it brought for Amos shows how something that is seemingly insignificant can have such a profound effect and hold so much meaning for someone who's grieving.

It was really sad to see that Elaine and Amos had separated,too, rather than being able to rely on each other for support. I know it's something that happens so often after the death of a child, that the parents separate and can't be together any more because they drift away from each other in their grief rather than being able to offer support and comfort. It's just another indication of how profoundly the loss of Cedric has changed Amos's life.

I felt so sorry for him here, especially with the terrible guilt that he felt for his son's death, imagining that if he hadn't encouraged him into entering the tournament then he'd still be alive. There's no guarantee that's true, of course, but grief isn't rational and he can't escape the guilt - even his dreams taunt him with what he sees as his failure as a father. There's no escape from the grief and his loss at all.

The repetition was another great detail in this - it kind of emphasised the numbness and disbelief, repeating that he'd lost his son as if it would finally really sink in, or repeating his name as if it would bring him back. People who are so desperately grieving want anything to be able to change what's happened and you demonstrated that so well here.

This was a really fantastic story, Dee, and good luck in the voting!

Sian :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by LiveBreatheNeedHP One.

19th September 2015:
This is a beautiful piece of writing. Explores the aftermath of death so wonderfully and believably. You have captured Amos as a character so so well, and it's easy to see why you have been nominated for a Dobby. You are very deserving.
I loved your tone especially. This reads with a beautiful kind of sadness, each thought just as heartbreaking as the next. I felt Amos' pain with him.
You are crazy good, such an enjoyable read.

Author's Response: Ohmygoodness, this review♥

Thank you so so much, your kind words have completely made my day. I'm so thrilled you loved this story.

-Dee


 Report Review

Review #9, by TidalDragon One.

15th September 2015:
Howdy Dee! I've been horribly remiss in my quest to review the Dobby finalists, but I'm here now and starting!

This was a very powerful story and I think a lot of that had to do with the structure you used. No only did you achieve brilliant symmetry between the opening and ending lines, but the inverse timeline you utilized did an excellent job underscoring the point.

In turn I think that amplified the raw-ness of your characterization of Amos. Even in the moments where his pain is freshest, he still manages a measure of reflectiveness that echoes - pointedly - in his own head. It truly captures one of the central components of such paralyzing grief - isolation. And of course, the mental isolation begets emotional isolation which begets true isolation as time wears on. And it becomes impossible to see an end in sight.

Though obviously some escape this horrible feedback loop, I thought another strength of the story was the ultimate ambiguity in the "end" (later in time, but technically your first paragraph) where distance has "changed" the pain as you put it - CAN Amos eventually find a way to truly live again or no? Better that we are left to wonder as you have done.

Thanks for sharing this story, congratulations on the challenge and good luck in voting!

Author's Response: Hi, Kevin :D

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

The reverse timeline was totally unintentional, and was something I was really worried about when I first posted it. Even now it's still a relief when I hear that people liked it and think that it works.

Shameless plug alert, I actually wrote a sequel to this story, titled And Then, if you ever wanted to find out how I see Amos' story ending.

Thank you for the lovely review again!


 Report Review

Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell One.

15th September 2015:
Hey Dee! I'm here trying to R&R all the Dobby nominees--sprinting down this path you've already blazed. Congratulations on your nomination!

Time changes pain. Time makes pain smaller, less all-consuming. Only temporarily though, because there is always a something. Somethings can tear great holes in a small pain and make it big again.
--This is one of the best quotes I've read recently. This is such an accurate description of grief, so concise, but so, so relatable. That's a gem of a line. You nailed it.

You made him enter the tournament that ended in his death. Your fault, your fault, your fault.--this broke my heart, because no. Of course not. Of course Cedric wanted to enter. Cedric enjoyed the Tournament. And the Tournament is not what killed him; Voldemort is. He'd never want his father to blame himself like that. And yet, what father wouldn't. It's heartrending.

You are sitting and Cedric is dead. Cedric is dead and you have been told to sit.
--this was another great line. The simple repetition there tells you so much. These two sentences say so much with so little. They convey Amos' disbelieve at the wrongness that he has outlived his son and is sitting here, alive, while his son is dead. They convey that he doesn't know what to do with himself, that he is just following orders because he is so, so lost. And they convey a kind of impotent rage--your son is dead and you have been told to sit. It sounds absurd. Your world has fallen to pieces, nothing will ever be the same, so how about you just have a seat and...what?

It's amazing how you do all that with just two sentences--well, really different arrangements of one. That's excellent.

I'd heard about this story before it was on the Dobbys list, and I see why it came so highly recommended. You take very little space to convey so much emotion. It's very well done.

CC:

You held her for a while, closed your eyes and felt the tears fall from your face dampening her rough woollen cardigan.
--I think there should be a comma before "dampening".


Really excellent job, Dee. Congratulations on your nomination! And thank you for taking the time to write such lovely reviews on my story--I really appreciated it. You're a star! And a very talented writer. Great work!

--Penny

 Report Review

Review #11, by Rumpelstiltskin One.

14th September 2015:
Oh my god -- my feels! :(

The amount of emotion that came spilling off of this, pouring out in Amos Diggory's pain, was overwhelming (and please know that this is very much a compliment). I don't even know what to say...

Erm, I really enjoyed the reverse time-lapse, I thought that was a clever idea and was well-executed, building on the intensity of the arch.

But, really, MY FEELS :(. "Cedric's first steps." ... see now, I think you've ruined me. I can't even.

I can't even leave a proper review.

This was amazing!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi, Rumpel!

I'm so sorry for all of the feels, but I'm incredibly happy that they meant you left this gorgeous review♥

Thank you SO much.

Dee


 Report Review

Review #12, by MuggleMaybe One.

12th September 2015:
Hi, Dee, dear!

I already read this some time ago but, I'm ashamed to say, I did not leave a review. I think I was too moved, too heartbroken, to leave a review. But I'll try.

Everything about this is brilliant. The very idea of this piece is so original and smart. The structure, moving back through time, packs such a punch! I love that you open and close with the same line. (I actually love this circular structure so much, I am thinking of making it my next challenge.)

Really, this is a heart breaking rendering of a parent's greatest possible loss. You write his emotions so perfectly - I was going to say 'powerfully', but one thing that makes this so incredibly REAL is that he feels detached and powerless, and you capture that really well, and the different sort of pain that carries.

Your descriptions have this subtle beauty that makes me want to read every sentence twice. I mean -

"Cedricís pale lifeless body, as cold as the chill that ran down your spine"

so, so good Dee!

You truly deserved the Dobby nomination for this. I'm going to put myself through Hell now and read And Then. I mean, how much more broken can my heart get, anyway?

lots of love!
Renee

Author's Response: Hi, Renee! As always you are just too sweet♥

I'm so glad you liked the circular narrative, as you already know from the Common Room, it totally wasn't intentional!

I've already read your gorgeous review for And Then, so I'm just going to apologise for the further heartbreak :p

Thank you a million times for this lovely review.

Dee


 Report Review

Review #13, by Gossip Girl One.

10th September 2015:
Hey HPFFers. Gossip Girl here, but once again, it's not with the latest gossip.

I'm sure we all remember that fateful day when our Golden Boy returned from the last task of the Triwizard Tournament holding...anyway, thankfully, I was not around for that, but it seems as though my source was closer to the incident than most.

This tip is heartbreaking to say the least. Instead of starting from the beginning and moving chronologically until the account breaks off at sixth months later, my source begins her account of this story in 'present day' and continues backwards until just after Cedric's death. I don't know about you, readers, but the effect that has on the story is just wonderful. Can't you feel the emotions coursing through this? The longer I read, the more intense everything got and I almost had to stop reading (I didn't, of course. Had to report the truth for all of my lovely readers).

Even though this may be a bit late, I'd like to send my most heartfelt condolences to Mr. Diggory for his loss. After reading this tip, I still cannot imagine the pain he had to go through. Time may not heal all your pain, but at least it can help to numb you to it.

Until next time,

XOXO Gossip Girl

Author's Response: Omg Gossip Girl! *fangirls*

Thank you so much for the incredible (and brilliantly in-character) review! It really made my day to get it and then all over again today in responding to it!


 Report Review

Review #14, by Roisin One.

9th September 2015:
Hello! I just wanted to say that you did a really fantastic job with this.

There's not a huge amount that we know about Amos from canon, but I think you did a fantastic job including the few things we did know (like how he's proud of his son to almost a fault). I also appreciated how you show the less-than-honorable thoughts he has during his grief (that Harry is an orphan), which I think was pretty honest and accurate (grief makes people think odd things).

The ending is also really great, it has so much impact! The device of traveling backward in time was super effective, and all around this was just really well constructed. I can see why you got a Dobby nom!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Roisin! ♥ This was such a gorgeous review to wake up to :D

I'm so glad you liked the reverse chronology of the story, I was really worried about it when I first posted but it seems like it works for readers :D I really wanted to give Amos more of a character, but keep with what little we knew of him from the books so I'm pleased you commented on that.

Thank you so much, again, for the review!

Dee


 Report Review

Review #15, by Shinicha One.

8th September 2015:
Wow, very compelling story.

The fact that you changed the timeline was unusual. With every subchapter I felt myself effectively being dragged through time into the new, earlier setting. I didn't understand it until the very end, when I read Dumbledore's words!

It's an interesting choice for a character. I admit I never much liked Amos, but when he blames himself for his sons death I really felt with him for the first time. It seemed so plausible, the letter and him teeling Cedric to enter!

Great story! Thanks for the read

Author's Response: Eeek, thank you so much! This was a really lovely and unexpected review. I didn't really like Amos either, and I hadn't given him a second thought until I was given his character for the challenge, but I actually feel really sorry for him now. Funny how writing and reading can change your perspective on a character :)

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #16, by manno_malfoy One.

23rd August 2015:
I don't think I've read any other story yet that broke my heart the way this one did. I also haven't read another story from Amos's point of view about anything.

You've chosen such a difficult topic, and I have no experience with PTSD, but I think you've dealt with it masterfully. There was raw emotion in every line, and in your descriptions of emptiness.

I thought your progression backwards through the timeline was what really helped your story make such a huge impact and really does set it apart. Because you started off with explaining the relationship between time and pain, and then you showed us, you managed to get across a solid idea and evoke true emotion. What it also does is that we start out gently, but then things gradually intensify so that the story ends on a high note. That was cool. Really.

I want to say that I enjoyed this story, but in reality, it just made me really emotional and sad; it kinda killed me. Which means that in just a few words, you got me invested in the story and in the characters that you've written. And one more thing. The POV. I honestly didn't even notice you were using it until the very, very end, and I had to scroll back to see if it was there all along. It really does suit the kind of story that you want to tell. Nothing, absolutely nothing, gives space for retrospection the way second person does, and you've used it perfectly.

This officially is one of my favourite stories. Heart-wrenching as it is, it's written incredibly well. And, based on this, I'm looking forward to checking out other things you've written.

-Manno

Author's Response: Hi, Manno!

Thank you so much for this gorgeous review, and for the lovely comments in the dobbs recs thread.

I haven't had any experience with PTSD either, and it was one of my main concerns when I wrote this story, I did a LOT of research. I'm so glad you think it came across right.

The backwards timeline was something I was so unsure about, and I actually changed it to chronological order and back again a few times before settling on it. Your comments on it are such a relief to me!

Not that I'm a sadistic person or anything but I love that the story made you emotional and sad :p I take that as such a massive compliment that my writing could make another person feel that way.

I can't thank you enough for this review, honestly, it made my day.

Dee


 Report Review

Review #17, by RavenclawFTW One.

20th July 2015:
Hey, I'm back again from Ravenclaw for the House Cup 2015!

Wow...that was a really, really powerful one shot. You've captured so many feelings and thoughts in so few words. I've rarely seen such a great use of 2nd person POV, and you just nailed it. The style of this story and its content are so related and perfectly tied together.

I love how you've characterized Amos here. In HP, he's always a bit awkward/overly proud of Cedric, and the idea of him obsessing over whether or not he forced Cedric into it seems so spot on. He so obviously loved his son, and it makes a lot of sense that he would become just /empty/ after Cedric was gone. I love how you've used the reverse chronology as well-- it seems so connected and you can see how each scene is more intense than the last, just like the first section promises.

The ending is also really poignant, especially the line: "He tries to offer you comfort but the look in his eyes tells you that even he does not believe the words that come." I feel like the extra meaning of this given his own familial background and the pain he carries from it, so obvious in HBP when he's drinking the potion, makes it hard to give false comfort to Amos.

Really, really great one shot- thank you for sharing!

--J

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for this LOVELY review!

Second person isn't my favourite style of writing by any standard, but I just couldn't write this story any other way, I'm so relieved you liked it!

With Amos, I really wanted to keep those small aspects of his personality that we knew from the books but also build on his character now that he is grieving so badly. I totally agree that he would be empty after Cedric's death, I'm glad you think so too!

Thank you so much, again!


 Report Review

Review #18, by bittersweetflames One.

20th July 2015:
OMG. All the feels; all the chills. I am sitting in a crowded room full of strangers but I almost started crying. And I would not have felt any shame. This was... This was just like a shaft straight through the heart and I felt for Amos. So much. With all that happened during those seven years that Harry was fighting Voldemort, we never stop to think about all the people who had suffered due to everything that Voldemort and his Death Eaters ha done. It's a painful thing to think about, which is probably why we forget... (Or at least I have) but it did happen and, of course, they did suffer. How could they not have? The way you told this story was really effective.. The way really had more impact because he's cold and he's empty and he's in pain but all throughout, you really brought home the idea of time and how time, which has passed, did not heal all pain and you wonder, will it ever be healed?

- Carla
House Cup 2015, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Carla! ♥ Another lovely review from you! You're way too kind :)

I'm totally with you on the forgetting about Amos thing, I hadn't even considered what would have happened to Cedric's parents after his passing until I was given Amos in the challenge.

Sorry for the feels! Thank you again for this gorgeous review!

Dee :)


 Report Review

Review #19, by evil little devil One.

20th July 2015:
Oh man, this was heart breaking. I'm not sure if the decision to go backwards in time is madness or brilliance, but either way it was agonising XD
This was so incredibly beautifully written, you did such a wonderful job at capturing Amos' emotions. Separating his grief out into different time periods was such a fabulous idea, it's just so clever to be able to examine the way grief changes over time, the way it simultaneously gets better in some ways but also kind of never does. That line near the end about Dumbledore not really believing his own words - that was the hardest line to read for me. Despite his flaws, Dumbledore is so often painted as all-knowing and wise - and with that short little section I think you managed to capture his entire character so well, with his history and his grief and how they have shaped him into the man he became.
It was also really interesting to read about Amos. The effect of Cedric's death on his parents isn't really touched on in the books - we see the effect on Harry, on Cho, on Hogwarts even - but his parents are very much off to the side. I love explorations of minor characters, and you did such a wonderful job of capturing his character, even admist the heavy weight of his grief.
This was such a beautifully written story, and so heart-breaking to read.

Hufflepuff House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi, Sian! Please excuse my lateness with this response, I'm just so lazy :p

I'm so pleased you liked this. Grief isn't an easy subject to write by any means so your comments really mean a lot to me.

I hadn't even given Amos or his wife a second thought until I was given Amos in the challenge, but their story haunts me now. I'm glad I got a chance to explore it. I'm so glad you thought he remained in character :)

Thank you so much for this gorgeous review!


 Report Review

Review #20, by TreacleTart One.

18th July 2015:
Hello My Dear,

I'm here to review your story for my After Affects Challenge. I will break this review down into a section for each area that I'm judging this on.

Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation - The easiest part of the challenge for me to judge. Your writing was flawless in this. I didn't notice anything that stood out as an error. On top of it, I didn't find any odd sentence flow or structure either. Quality wise, this was perfection.

Plot Flow- This piece flows so easily. The way you've broken it down by time from Cedric's death helps the reader to keep track of what is happening and when it's happening. Also, I loved that you left your word choices simple and easy to understand. It gave a very clean, smooth feel to the words and was something that I very much appreciated.

Characterization - We obviously don't know too much about Amos from cannon, but the picture that cannon paints is of a driven, competitive man who takes incredible pride in his son. I think you've captured that aspect of his personality with his regrets at having encouraged Cedric to enter. Furthermore, I think you've captured the emotions of a parent grieving for a child in a way that blows my mind. From start to finish, I think the way you've written Amos' grief really fits with what we know of him.

Emotional Effect - I'm not going to lie. I teared up several times while reading this and I would suggest that anyone who didn't has a heart of stone. You've made Amos' voice so real and so raw and even though I'm not a parent myself, it tugged at something very deep within me. You made his loss very tangible and easy to grasp for me. Great work.

Accurately portrays challenge subject- This is the trickiest part for me to judge and is a little bit subjective because different people respond differently to mental disorders. I think you've done a great job of covering not only PTSD and depression, but also survivors guilt. Some of the particular side affects that we see Amos struggle with are nightmares, flashbacks, depression, irritability, lack of desire to do anything, deterioration of important relationships, etc. The guilt was really what hit me the hardest. That intense desire to want to change how things happened and the feeling that it is all his fault that his son is dead is something similar to what I've seen in soldiers who have lost friends in war. I think of all the particular affects that you've covered that was the strongest point for this story.

Anything Else - I'd like to tell you that I was a bit worried about entries for both Cho and Amos, mainly because I thought they might get a bit cliched. You've done a brilliant job of avoiding falling into the cliche trap. To me, this made me feel like I had never really known the story properly to begin with and you were filling it all in. This is pretty much my new head cannon for Amos.

Also, I really appreciated how you dealt with such a tough subject. Quite often, inexperienced writers go for the shock value. They throw every gruesome horrific detail that they can think of in. They over work and contrive the emotions. The result becomes something melodramatic. You on the other hand have given us just enough detail to really grieve with Amos. Because of it, what you chose to show really hit home.

Excellent work here. You should be very, very proud of this story.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi, Kaitlin! It's absolutely apalling that it has taken me so long to respond to this review because it was SO lovely, plus this story would never have been written if you hadn't set the challenge. Please accept my sincerest aplogies and a whole load of virtual cookies.

I think that's the first time anyone has ever said my writing is flawless, I'm so lazy when it comes to editing that I usually miss something.

Amos honestly wasn't a character I'd ever given a second thought to after reading GoF but as soon as you gave me him for the challenge it was like he had this whole story to tell, if that makes sense? Obviosuly we don't know much about him from the books other than he's fairly competitive about his son, and I wanted to keep that but also give him more personality, I'm so pleased that came across.

PTSD is a subject I was barely familiar with before entering your challenge, and I spent hours researching it and reading blogs on it before starting. I found that it was entirely dependent on the person and the circumstances, which made this all the more difficult to write. I sort of went with the basic 'symptoms' and built upon them. I was so relieved when I read your review to see that it came across alright.

Gah, new head canon?! *head swells* You're too good to me.

Thank you a million and one times for this challenge. This story has gotten such amazing feedback and it would never have crossed my mind to write this without your challenge. And thank you for the first place, and all of the lovely things you hace said about it, and the dobby nom! Seriously♥


 Report Review

Review #21, by cherry_pop94 One.

3rd June 2015:
Hi there! Iím here for the review you requested!

Iíve never read a story about Amos Diggory before, so I was excited to see your request. He must have been feeling such immense pain after his sonís death on a day that was supposed to be celebrating Cedricís accomplishments. And Amos just seemed always so proud by his son throughout the ĎGoblet of Fire.í

I think the second section captured the emotional pain really well, and Amosís grieving as well. I canít pretend to know what this feels like, but this section hit me really hard. The second person writing really made the pain feel very personal, shivers all over. It also seems extremely realistic Ė the nightmares, the insomnia, the guilt. My heart really breaks for Amos, especially as he watches his life leave him as well. The pain must be tremendous and youíve written it extremely well. I think the short paragraphs also works really well here too. Long paragraphs in second person, I think, would bog one down and really confuse readers, but the brevity here conveys the message with a much stronger punch.

If the second section felt like a punch, the third was a stab. Amosís feelings that no parents would mourn Harry is terrible, but itís also true. In death, Harry would see his parents, with Cedricís death, heís left parents behind. And though it is clichť, no parent should have to bury their child (Iím actually glad you didnít include this clichť, people donít speak in clichťs when theyíre grieving). Again, the brevity of it all makes it all the more emotional in my opinion.

I think the reverse chronological flow of this actually worked extremely well. You began this story with a sort of low buzz of constant pain Amos was feeling and built it up to intense emotion punches. I do think that the third section was a bit stronger than the last, which disrupted the flow a little, but overall, an extremely touching and emotional piece.
The beginning sections definitely show that he has some unresolved issues surrounding Cedricís death, though Iím not exactly sure if PTSD is what I would call it. Amos is in intense emotional distress, obviously, and I think itís extremely reasonable to suggest that six months would certainly not heal it, but it doesnít quite seem in-line with PTSD per say. However, definitely take my suggestions with a grain of salt because I am no expert in the subject.

Overall, I thought this was an excellent piece. It was really great of you to bring it full circle with Ďtime heals all pain.í It wasnít quite a sense of closure because Amos, six months later, is still in such terrible pain, but it was an excellent end to this piece describing that pain.

Thanks for sharing this!

-Stefi

Author's Response: Hi, Stefi! Please accept my sincerest apologies for taking so long to reply to this lovely review.

I hadn't ever read a story about Amos either, he's definitely under-represented in fanfiction, and I think, a forgotten about character.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the second person, it's become my favourite recently. I worried it would detach the reader from Amos' grief a little but I'm glad it didn't come across that way.

PTSD is definitely something I have no experience of. When I entered this challenge I did a LOT of research into it to help me with writing it. I found that the guilt, nightmares, and breakdown of relationships were recurring factors in sufferers but it's definitely a subjective thing.

Thank you so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #22, by Gabriella Hunter One.

2nd June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and junk! I'm sorry that it took so long to drop by, I could go on and on about how I sat around binge-watching Attack on Titan but you don't need to worry about my nerdiness.

So, this was a fresh idea that I've never seen before. I always wondered what happened to Cedric's parents after he passed and I think that you showed the levels of grief very well. I like the passage of time that you included too, it didn't feel to be choppy either. I could really understand what Amos was going through: Grief is a tricky emotion and it leads you back and forth with memories, emotions and blame. You could sit there and numb the rest of the world out but it only takes one small moment of recollection for the grief to come tumbling back.

I thought it was a very powerful thing to write, it's honestly not something that I've seen before and I really appreciate what you've done here. I wrote a little about PTSD in one of my stories (This is Angelina) but I don't focus on one character's trauma like this. I think that you showed the decline, guilt and horror of it very well though.

Amos has lost his son, his wife and his need to live. I wonder though, if he'll ever find the strength to move forward and I really, really loved the very end of this story. Time heals all pain but not when you need it to, which is what I gathered from reading this.

I honestly thought it was brilliant and thanks so much for requesting it for me!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! I guess it's my turn to apologise now, and I don't even have nerdiness as an excuse, I'm just rubbish at responses!

Amos and his wife honestly never crossed my mind until I was given him for the challenge, but I'm so glad I got him. I'm glad you commented on the different stages and levels of grief, it's something I tried hard to convey here.

Thank you so much for responding to my request with this lovely review, it really made my day to get it and then all over again today responding to it!

Dee


 Report Review

Review #23, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing One.

31st May 2015:
Hi Dee!

Just got here in time!

I'm so glad I paired us together. This was just, wow. I've never read anything about Amos Diggory before this just left me breathless. It's so sad and heartfelt all the way through.

I wouldn't even want to imagine loosing a child - it's something I can't imagine. But your writing was unbelievable here. I felt his pain and my heart just broke for him with every sentence.

I liked the way you took us backward, closer to the point when Cedric died. You also took us full circle with the time healing pain comment. Trouble is six months down the line isn't particularly long and all I can hope is that he eventually found peace.

There's so much I could say about this - although sad I thought the fact Amos and his wife had split up was something that would unfortunately be probable. Something so big like this when it effects you so deeply is hard to come back from. I was also gutted that Amos seemed to blame himself for encouraging Cedric to enter although again I know it would probably be true.

So... Yeah your writing was beautiful in this Dee seriously. I was blown away but it also left me so sad. You know you've found a great story when it stays with you so much.

Lauren

Author's Response: Lauren! ♥

I'm so glad you paired us together too, otherwise I would have never gotten such a gorgeous review!! You are too nice.

Writing Amos blaming himself really broke my heart too, but I definitely think it's something he would have done. In fact, writing this whole thing make me sad. Maybe I'll stick to fluff from now on :p

I'm glad you liked the non-linear style, I worried about it for so long and actually flipped it around but it didn't work as well.

I don't even know where to begin with thanking you for this review, it really made my day ♥


 Report Review

Review #24, by wolfgirl17 One.

23rd May 2015:
Hey Dee,

This story is positively wonderful. Sad and distressing, and yet wonderful. The way you have captured the effects of losing a child upon the parent is so heart-breakingly accurate that I'm a little sniffly.

I really like the way you portrayed this through the 2nd person POV, I think it added that feeling of recognition and connection with the reader, as though it is the reader living this pain, feeling this distress, suffering this loss.

The way you described the split between Amos and Elaine was intriguing and saddening. Most couples do split up when they lose a child, simply because it's impossible not to blame one another and not be be reminded of all the times each parent has spent with the child, recalling memories that become painful reminders that no more memories will be made featuring the child.

The way you portrayed the story backwards really made the loss feel more poignant and definitely went against the notion that pain heals all wounds. It's certainly true that pain does change the pain, does dull it in some regards and sharpen it in others, and I like the way the backward time-line leading to the death of Cedric captured that fact so well.

All in all you've got a brilliant story on your hands here. I really enjoyed reading and I feel bad that I can't think of a single con-crit to offer. It's just too powerful to have any other effect than to make the reader understand that feeling of loss and agony and hopelessness that comes from losing a child and knowing that no matter what happens, things aren't ever going to go back to the way they were and aren't going to ever really get better.

Thanks so much for such a wonderful contribution to the archives and such an insight in the world of PTSD and loss. You have a gift, my friend.

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Ellie! I was just thinking about you today, it's been so long since I've seen you around on the forums, I miss you! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this review, and I hope you manage to catch this response before it gets too lost in your pages of reviews.

PTSD is such a difficult thing to write about, because my understanding is that it affects everyone differently, and I had to really think about how it would affect Amos. It's pretty much my head canon that him and his wife wouldn't have stayed together, it's such a sad truth what you said about most couples not staying together.

Thank YOU so much for such a gorgeous review, Ellie♥


 Report Review

Review #25, by TearsIMustConceal One.

15th May 2015:
Hey!! Iím here with your review!

This story was absolutely heart-breaking! I knew it would be sad but I didnít how upset it would make me feel.

I just want to hug poor Amos! You can really feel his despair in every word and how devastated he is about losing Cedric. I couldnít imagine what it must feel like to lose a child so my heart goes out to him! Everything you wrote was a perfect realistic portrayal of Amos and in general, a parent in mourning.

I love the order of time youíve used here Ė it really shows that it doesnít matter how long ago it happened, whether it was a six months or just hours after, the pain is always there as a horrible reminder of what youíve lost!

The way he was reminded because Mrs Abbott found a tie and he lashed out Ė I totally get that. Even in everyday situations, ones that are not as extreme as this, certain items bring back floods of memories, both good and bad and itís hard to deal with those emotions!

I really didnít want his wife to leave him but that always seems to happen after the loss of a child. It makes you realise that sometimes children are the glue in a family unit and that when theyíre gone, sometimes thereís nothing left. It must be such a hard situation and even though she says that Amos isnít grieving, itís just because heís not grieving in the same way she is. And as you read on, you realise that he is grieving and that he feels guilty Ė that he feels he made Cedric take part in the Tri-Wizard just so he can brag. I really feel for Amos there because I couldnít even begin to imagine the inner turmoil heís feeling. Youíve really managed to capture his heart-break and emotion here!

PTSD is an area thatís hardly ever explored on here so well done for being brave and doing it and doing it in such an amazing way! Every word was heart-wrenching and the emotion was unbelievable!

I also love how youíve used the same line at the start and at the end Ė it really has an amazing effect!

Well done and good luck for the challenge!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hi, Vicki! Please accept my apology and virtual cookies for the incredibly late response to this review, I'm so rubbish.

We know so little about Amos from the series but I was still very conscious of keeping him in tune with the bits we do know, I'm so glad you commented on his character.

I think that Amos wouldn't know how to survive without Cedric at first, and I wanted to show the different ways people grieve, and his was just not to cope-or at least in the eyes of his wife. I truly believe they wouldn't have stayed together after Cedric, like you said, it always seems to happen which is such a sad truth.

Thank you so much for this lovely review, it made my day all over again responding to it :)

Dee


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>