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Reading Reviews for Race Against Time
33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dinthemidwest Chapter 3

18th April 2017:
Glad to see that you will continue this story-I enjoy seeing Sirius Black getting back to his life after Azkaban!

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Review #2, by Sushmita Chapter 3

9th February 2017:
Loved this story on Em. What I don't get was after being in a relationship with Sirius for so long, didn't she even doubt for a moment that he may not have been a death eater? I would love to see where this story goes from here and if Sirius comes to confront her at some point once he's cleared his name? Please continue and don't leave ur readers hanging...

Author's Response: Aww thank you! The evidence was just SO overwhelming that no one really doubted it. Not even Remus, unfortunately. :( I haven't abandoned this, but it's definitely on the back burner for now. I've just kind of lost my muse for it. But I do intend on finishing it at some point. Thank you bunches for reading and the reviews! You're very sweet! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 Chapter 3

13th September 2015:

I am here again with another review for you! :)

I would really like to know how and what you do to make each chapter better than the last?!

I LOVED this... I felt anxious with Emmeline when Amelia pulled her aside and when she explained to her about Scrimgeour... Emmeline is one tough cookie and someone that you have created to really be able to convince me that she could ever be in a relationship with Sirius because she can challenge him.

I love all the little subtle pieces of the puzzle you add to really create a well rounded chapter. Yes, it was short, but I felt that the information that you give is vital and well done considering the shorter length.

I didn't find any nit-picky things that I would normally point out. The description, also subtle, creates a wonderful picture in my mind.

I am seriously anxious to find out what Scrimgeour is going to say and do to Emmeline. She is tough, but as readers see in chapter 2 she is prone to have her moments too.

I look extremely forward to reading Chapter 4!

Keep up the awesome job! :)


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Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17 Chapter 2

13th September 2015:

I am here with another review! :)

This was another great chapter! I really liked getting to know Emmeline more throughout this chapter and I really like the way that you were able to capture some lost moments here.

The one I think that stands out the most is when they go and see Dumbledore and he demands that Remus take the DADA job. Emmeline of course adds to it. Which was great to see. I have always wondered how or what could have ever led Dumbledore to hire Remus so this was a great possibility. Also, you did a superb job of capturing that insanely calm demeanor Dumbledore has. I can honestly see why people get upset with him the way that they do.

Everything timeline wise flows well and it leaves me wondering what you're going to do with these wonderful characters you have created. I truly do love them and this is only chapter 2! :)

Keep up the awesome job and I am really looking forward to chapter 3!!


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Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 Chapter 1

12th September 2015:

I am here with another review for you!

I am really excited about this story and really have enjoyed this chapter.

I like Emmeline. I don't read much of her, so this is a real treat! I like that she is an Auror and that she has been part of the Order. I worry about her though and what may happen in throughout the story. Hopefully she will be able to reconnect with Sirius since we all know of his innocence.

I am curious to see where this goes especially since you picked a very intriguing time frame here. I love Sirius and anything to do with him that explores all avenues is always something I enjoy reading. Mostly because I think we only get bits and pieces of him in the books.

I really am interested in Remus too. I think you have him characterized nicely. I can easily picture him living in a flat that is run down. You really gave the impression of someone who had given up. Someone who just has no will or desire to impress anyone. I feel bad for Remus, but at least I know that he will pull himself out of it.

I did find this one little nit-picky thing that I thought I would point out...

For one thing, it had been a least a year since I had seen him.

-I think you may have meant to say at least a year... instead of a least a year?

I am really looking forward to the next chapter!

Keep up the awesome job! :)


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Review #6, by CambAngst Chapter 1

15th August 2015:
Hi, Meg! I am on my mission to complete GryCReMo and I wanted to start with stories from the other authors who are participating. Please allow me to pause for a moment to keep track:

GryCReMo (Review #12)

I really liked the premise you're starting out with. You have to wonder how Sirius's old friends and romantic interests reacted to the news that he'd escaped from Azkaban. I suppose I don't need to wonder any more because you're going to tell us! :)

Emmeline's emotional recovery after the Potters' deaths seemed to be paced pretty well. She still has a wounded heart, but it was mostly scabbed over until she saw the Prophet. And now the wound is raw and open again. Her physical and emotional reaction to his escape was nicely written. Not overdone, but appropriate to the magnitude of the betrayal that she (believes she) suffered.

Iím going to be a bit late today. Personal Matter. -- If Scrimgeour is any kind of Auror at all, it probably won't take him long to put 2 and 2 together.

You set up Remus's character in a pretty unique way. Basically everyone writes him as being isolated and down on his luck, but to have him living in alcoholic squalor is a twist I haven't seen before. To that end, I actually felt like he recovers himself a little too quickly. One moment he's passed out drunk in his bed and the next moment he's offering Emmeline tea in his kitchen. I think you might have benefited from making him more out of sorts until she shoves the newspaper under his nose. That could be the sobering moment for him.

Aside from that, I thought your writing was superb. Everything flowed really nicely and you did a good job of pacing the chapter and mixing dialog and narrative. It was easy to feel the emotion coming through. Good job!

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Review #7, by alicia and anne Chapter 1

30th July 2015:
It makes me sad to think of the aftermath of the war, and how not everything had gone back to normal straight away. I like that you showed how much of a struggle it's been and then how things are getting better.

It makes me sad to see Remus living in a place like that :( Drinking himself into stupors. It must have been so hard for her to tell Remus what had happened.

I'm very intrigued as to how the future chapters are going to pan out, and I'm very excited about the first time that she see's Sirius, It's going to be so good!

Brilliantly written! and I can't wait to see more of your Emmeline and Remus, and or course, Sirius. :D

Keep up the brilliant work!

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Review #8, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter 3

15th July 2015:
Hey Meg! I'm here for our review swap! Review #400! :D

I was glad to see you'd added another chapter to this story, as I had enjoyed it before. The executions of this chapter was, at least based off my memory, the best yet. It's very crisp, and her anxiety and apprehension is quite palpable. I can't imagine what it would be like to be Sirius' girlfriend--to have really loved him, and then to be told that he murdered his best friends. To think you should have seen it coming.

I think it's good that Emmaline went directly to Dumbledore. It probably wasn't the best thing for her job or reputation, but it does show that she knows what's what. She knows that it's Dumbledore who is more capable of dealing with the matter of Sirius, and it shows that, afraid as she is, she was concerned about Harry almost immediately. That speaks well for her character.

That scene at the Ministry was just mortifying. I love how much you convey just with the little whispers, and by having her friend ask her, because she "just had to ask". Maybe I can understand that, but it also shows us what a lonely position Emmaline is in--even some of the people who should know her best can't totally trust her. That's the kind of havoc Sirius' "betrayal" has wreaked in her life.

The main thing we learned from this chapter is that her reputation is currently in the gutter. I'm really wondering how the Ministry will deal with her; they aren't really known to be fair or reasonable when it comes to this sort of thing.

Like, way to end on a cliffhanger :p But I am really curious about how Scrimgeour will handle it.

And surely she'll have to face Sirius at some point. Now *that* is a chapter I look forward to!


In hindsight, I probably should had went in to work first, before going to Remusí then Hogwarts to see Dumbledore.
--It ought to be, "I probably should have gone in to work first."

After he had been arrested back in eighty-one, I was questioned.
--Generally, when writing out years like this, you'd write it as '81.

I am very intrigued. This is the first story I've ever read about Sirius' return from the perspective of a former girlfriend. I look forward to reading more of it. Thanks for the swap!


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Review #9, by pointless_proclamations Chapter 3

12th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Slytherin

[gasps] Em has found something Em has yet to review of Meg's! I don't know whether to be excited or ashamed. This is a properly tense way to start off a chapter. My poor, poor Emmeline. I hope you don't mind me calling her mine. I know she's primarily yours here, but she's just too precious. I just love her so much!! When her colleagues started whispering about her, I felt compelled to tell them to go away and mind their own business. NOBODY MESSES WITH MY PRECIOUS EMMELINE. NOBODY! You have this wonderful way of describing emotions. That is just reason #87132406 I love your writing. THE POOR THING and her visiting Remus and checking up on him and making sure he's alright and getting this plan together to take care of Harry just makes her seem more suspicious EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SIRUS'S escape and I despise everyone for doubting her. Scrimgeour especially. Scrimgeour in particular. Kingsley's cool. I'm cool with Kingsley. He's alright. ;) But Scrimgeour and his trying to seem intimidating and all just really annoys me. I am feeling many things for all of your characters, Meg. Do you see what you are doing to me? SO MANY FEELINGS I HAVE RIGHT NOW READING THIS! ARGHHH.

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Review #10, by ephemeryst Chapter 1

4th July 2015:
This was such a great start to your story! I am honestly so intrigued right now. Emmeline seems like such a brave and level-headed character. All I ever knew about her was that she was a part of the Order. I had never thought about her being friends with the Marauders. I always love stories that elaborate on minor characters.

Also, it's not often that I find stories about Marauders-era characters in the Hogwarts era. This chapter really got me thinking of how sad and awful their fates all were. :( Poor Remus, living all alone in such bad conditions. At least he has Emmeline to check on him every so often.

I also really enjoyed both Remus and Emmeline's reaction to Sirius' escape. It seemed very accurate, and it gave me chills. I also liked how Emmeline had the small bit of suspicion towards Remus if he had helped Sirius escape. It must be her auror instincts kicking in. :P Also glad that she trusted him in the end. I thought it was very accurate how both of their concerns went towards Harry at the same time and thought of Dumbledore immediately. I think that accurately portrays the Orders' priorities at the time.

Overall, this was very well-written too. I found no mistakes anywhere, which is great. You seem to have a very clean writing style! I liked this first chapter so much that I'm going to keep reading. I really want to know how Remus and Emmeline will continue to handle this situation. Great job!

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Review #11, by Felpata Lupin Chapter 3

29th June 2015:
Hey, Meg, honey!
As you can see, I found something I hadn't reviewed yet :P
Urgh... Cliffhangers... I hate those!!! But I know why they're tempting for a writer...
Anyway, I really love your portrayal of Emmeline. It's just so horrible that with all the emotional turmoil she has to go through, she also have to deal with suspects and all that. I really hope Scrimgeour won't give her a too hard time... She really doesn't need it!
How didn't she notice that Sirius was a Death Eater? Maybe because he wasn't? Sorry, even after all this time it still makes me angry how unfair Sirius' fate was...
When the next chapter? I want to read more right now!!!
Great job, as always, my dear!
And I think I'll follow your suggestion and go read another chapter of Annett's internal monologue in a bit... :)
Hugs and kisses and much, much love!

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Review #12, by merlins beard Chapter 3

22nd June 2015:
Hey Meg,
I don't have much time right now, so I'll make this really short, I'm sorry.

I love Emmeline. She's an authentic character who has been through a lot. Those are the best ones to write about - the ones who already have a story. I'm sorry that she has to relive all of her relationship with sirius yet again, but I feel even more sorry for Sirius. Even the person who loved him considers him guilty. That's terrible. I wonder how he'll cope with that...

I loved the new chapter, I can't wait for the next one.


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Review #13, by Bat Girl Chapter 2

31st May 2015:
Bat Girl is back! I was glad to see that there weren't any owls in this chapter - I was very concerned. The owl in the last chapter startled me, and I couldn't deal with another so quickly.

I enjoyed this chapter, particularly the background you gave to Remus's taking the position. I always wondered about the coincidence (and whether it really was just a coincidence) in the books, and I like your explanation better: that Dumbledore wanted Remus, specifically, at Hogwarts because of Sirius's escape from Azkaban. I'm still interested in hearing more about why - because he thinks Remus will be quicker to see Sirius's tricks? Because he worried about Remus's safety? Because something still seemed a little rotten about the whole Potter murder? I'm not sure - but I'm sure you'll address that, and I love what you've done already, especially the way you addressed Remus riding the train. :)

I'm starting to feel like I'm getting to know Emmeline a little better, too, but it's slow - which I like, because she seemed reserved in canon, too, and within the context of this story, the reason is obvious. I liked the way you explicitly addressed that toward the end of the chapter - they're both very clearly damaged in a way that reaches deep by Sirius's (apparent) betrayal and the events of the FWW overall.

The one thing I didn't like here was again around security. Why should summer holidays mean that a password wasn't needed? It didn't make sense to me - sure, there aren't students there, but the Head's office still holds a lot of things that malicious or mischievous parties might like to get their hands on, and it seems to me that all of those concerns don't disappear as soon as the students get on the train.

That aside, though, I enjoyed the chapter a lot, and I'll be checking back for updates!

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Review #14, by Bat Girl Chapter 1

31st May 2015:
I'm back! The night was dark and full of terrors, including owls who would like to munch on a little bat like me, so I've taken refuge in your author's page for a little while.

So - oh. That thing I was wondering about is something you're addressing. Cool! Bat girl is excited to read on! :)

I loved the way you started this. I could feel the raw pain and hurt that Emmeline was grappling with in the immediate aftermath of Voldemort's downfall as well as many years later. It also helped set the scene in a way that would have made sense to me even if I hadn't read Bruises, which I like - my favorite kind of sequel is one that can be picked up without necessarily having read the first one.

I also really liked how she immediately went to Remus's. Of course he would understand where she was coming from, and knowing what we do, I found his reaction really interesting - he knows exactly what happened, but he was being honest when Emmeline challenged him, too.

The only thing that stuck out to me - and it's possible that I'm being overcautious, since as a bat I have many natural predators - was that it seemed strange that Remus and Emmeline - two people who lived through the FWW and saw most of their friends killed - would let their fireplaces be connected to the Floo Network, particularly in such a way that made getting to them as simple as just saying the person's name. It's a huge security risk, and even in peacetime, they strike me as being more cautious - particularly Emmeline, who as an Auror must have dark witches and wizards who'd like her dead.

Very interesting! I must fly on to the next chapter.

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Review #15, by looneylizzie Chapter 1

5th May 2015:
Meg - here I am for our review swap!!

Wait, I thought that Dumbledore explained to Emmeline what had happened. I thought she knew he didnít betray them? :í(

I have to say, her reaction is really well done. Itís so realistic, especially the fact that she knows that sheís needed at work, but doesnít care, because sheís got other things to focus on.

Remus Lupin huh? I have to say, I didnít expect her to go to him. I was thinking Dumbledore or something. I like it!

Oh no. Sheís gonna be the one to tell him? This is not going to go well.

Ha! Iím sorry, but the Aguamenti part is just delightful. Itís good to see that thereís some lightheartedness that can happen even during the most serious of situations.

And poor Lupin! I always felt bad for him. He never really had anyone around who was willing to look after him. Nor was he really willing to let anyone look after him.

Do you really think Lupin knew how he got out? I dunno, I didnít think Lupin was ever sure of how exactly Sirius managed to escape until Sirius told him.

Ah, now I understand why she didnít know that it was actually Peter who betrayed James and Lily. The amount of information she has is pretty equal to what Lupin has at this point as well. Good! That makes it really realistic and really true to the series!

Ah. Harry indeed!

Yes, off to Dumbledore! Heís gonna know what to do!

I think this is really interesting, because I KNOW whatís going to happen because this is taking place at the same time as the books, but yet, itís from the PoV of a character I donít know, and itís interesting to see how youíve put all these little details we know from the series together and put into one narrative.

So good Meg! Canít wait for more!
Iím sure Iíll be reviewing the next chapter soon!

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Review #16, by TidalDragon Chapter 2

25th April 2015:
Hello again!

I'll open by saying that one of the first things I noticed about this chapter was the contrast in effectiveness of the direct style I enjoyed earlier. In Chapter 1, because there was less dialogue being exchanged, that style came across as distinctively Emmeline, but here though I think that remains the true situation, it felt a bit more explanatory and literal. Particularly during the conversation with Dumbledore, I thought points explained in this fashion in Emmeline's thoughts could have been done more effectively via her observations of others' reactions, etc (which would be in keeping with her career path too). It's possible that slowing the pace a little would avoid this issue too.

That said, I still think you did a good job of keeping the unique character you created consistent both internally and in her relations to others. The near breakdown was a nice touch as well because it added a dimension of latent, highly specific vulnerability that gave an extra dimension to Emmeline (I assume they had some relationship in the original story based on this - or that she at least had feelings for him?). I also thought you captured Dumbledore well in terms of dialogue and demeanor. He is so, SO hard to write (at least in my opinion), but you made him come across as still engaging with Remus and Emmeline to an extent rather than speaking TOO enigmatically and dismissively. That's something I really struggled with recently in my own novel so KUDOS.

All in all an auspicious start to an intriguing tale! Good luck hitting your goal for Camp NaNo (Lord knows I won't be)!

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Review #17, by TidalDragon Chapter 1

25th April 2015:
Howdy Meg! Sorry for the delay - life's been a bit crazy lately.

At any rate, I enjoyed the beginning to this story, even though I haven't read the original. Because of that, I wasn't quite sure at the beginning whose perspective we were coming from, but you did a good job making that clear quickly enough for people in a position like me.

Speaking of that choice, Emmeline Vance is always a character that has somehow intrigued me. We don't know much of her from canon truly, but she's one of the few proud members (that we know of) of the original Order to fight in BOTH wars, which is a testament to her in itself. I'm looking forward to seeing more of her next chapter if that's on offer.

From a mechanics perspective, I think my favorite part of the chapter was probably the description of Remus and his place. It seemed so apt for the type of despondent, directionless living I imagine for him given his status and the loss of all his friends and you captured that mood even without being overly literal.

We don't have a lot in the way of characterization to go on, but Emmeline certainly seems determined, decisive, and direct, which seems quite appropriate for both an Auror and a "survivor personality" so well done.

See you in the next chapter!

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Review #18, by toomanycurls Chapter 2

20th April 2015:

I love this chapter and your characterism of Remus and Dumbledore (and how true they are to canon). Emmeline is really coming to life through your writing.

I also really love that Sirius' escape was the catalyst for Remus getting the DADA job. His hesitation was dead on and I wanted to clap at Dumbledore's frustration at his stubbornness. Emmeline sounds like quite a good auror based on her thoughtfulness. Dumbledore not telling them about the protection is typical (and frustrating).

So, this hit me last chapter but I forgot to say something - but I'm curious why Emmeline wasn't introduced to Harry as an Auror (Mad Eye, Kingsley, and Tonks were pointed out as aurors so I'm curious why Emmeline wasn't). Anyway, back to the chapter.

The explanation of why Remus was on the train is great. I mean, it's always kind of bothered me and your explanation makes so much sense. I can't blame them for keep going back to how Sirius escaped. It must be an all-consuming thought for them as it was assumed to be impossible.

I'm excited to see Emmeline stay involved through the year. :D


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Review #19, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter 2

19th April 2015:

I had so much fun on our swap, and I wanted to know what happened next, so I thought I'd drop by and do some extra R & R!

"Truth be told, I liked and respect Dumbledore very much, but at times, his enigmatic ways could wear on a person. "
--girl, don't we know it. Relatable. As. Heck.

It was interesting to see the meeting where Dumbledore hired Lupin. At some point it must have been obvious to me that he hired Remus on purpose--the last living friend of his parents (that wasn't a convicted criminal), to be there for him during this whole Sirius Black thing (and, if he suspected Sirius' innocence, to be there for Sirius). However, I'd completely forgotten about that. But of course it wasn't a coincidence!

"Dumbledore seemed to have enough, he slammed his hand down on the desk which caused both me and Remus to jump."
--Whoa! We got a little Goblet of Fire Movie version of Dumbledore here, huh? Just kidding ; ) Banging your hand on the desk is a lot less intense than pushing a kid up against a pensieve and going all DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?! on him ;) I was glad to see Dumbledore convince him in one fell swoop, rather than a drawn out battle over days. But that's Dumbeldore for you.

ďAnd if I donít, youíll place me in detention? Take away my Prefect status?Ē Remus challenged with a smirk.
--I like seeing how, even though Remus was the well behaved one, he was a Marauder, best friend to James and Sirius. Obviously he'd have a bit of snark in him :)

Poor Emmaline, though. Now the only person who could understand her will be off at Hogwarts while she's dealing with hunting down her ex-boyfriend!


"'I Ė I supposed youíre right, Em,' he croaked."
--"supposed" should be "suppose".

Also--this is just a suggestion--it might be cute if Remus starts off calling Albus "Professor Dumbledore", or "Professor". The way you have them running into the castle and looking around his office makes them seem so much like kids again, and they are in this kind of lost state. It would also be a good way to drive home Remus' new position--that Dumbledore considers him a peer. And I just think it might be cute as he stumbles over it. But like I said, that's just a suggestion, not a CC or anything!

I really want to know what happens next! I hope the next chapter's coming out soon : D


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Review #20, by Penelope Inkwell Chapter 1

19th April 2015:

Okay, so I really like this. I don't know exactly what it is that caught me, but normally I don't much care for Sirius/Anyone stories--too depressing, for me, considering how his life goes and how early it ends. I can think of maybe 1 I ever read most of the way through. However, this one really interested me. I like how you describe everything--even though it's a short chapter, I can picture the rooms and see detail. And I don't know much about Emmaline, but I find myself wanting to know more. She's obviously been just barely getting along, dealing with what I'm assuming is some Depression and PTSD from the war, and from the betrayal. Will she find out the truth about Sirius? If so, how will she deal? Will she help him? Hunt him down?

I really am curious. Somehow, I'm already inclined to like her. Maybe it's the sort of no nonsense attitude she has. She's alive, so she's going to live, even if she has to take it step by step. She's been betrayed, but she tries to focus on the good things in her life--her job and her friends. She goes to Remus and wastes no time in getting things sorted. I can respect that. She's obviously resilient. This is a big thing to bounce back from though, and it makes me really curious. You did a nice job with this chapter, because it definitely makes me want to keep reading on.


Most of us completely immersed ourselves with our work...
--It would be better to say "immersed ourselves in our work, rather than "with".

Occasionally I would pop by and see how he was managing, but I havenít been by in quite a while.
--The rest of your story is all in past tense, but here you use the present with "haven't". It would be better to switch it to "hadn't" to keep things consistent.

Overall, though, really nice job with spelling and grammar :) Something is always going to slip past, but I noticed very few mistakes. That is always so nice to see in a story. Two thumbs up!

Thanks for the swap! I enjoyed it :D


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Review #21, by merlins beard Chapter 2

19th April 2015:
Here for our swap.
So I finally made it to your story, and I'm glad I did.

I haven't read anything similar to that yet. I really like where you started this story. There are many stories about the girls sirius dated at hogwarts, but none that mentions what happened to the girl when Sirius was thrown into prison.

I really like how close Emmeline and Remus still are, after all those years. It's nice to know there is someone there for Remus.

I have always wondered why Remus hadn't contacted Harry long before he meets him in Harry's third year... I can't imagine that anything would be able to keep him away from his best friends son.
It's great to see how concerned he is for Harry's safety.

I'm really interested in where this story is going. Definitely putting it on my currently reading list.

Thanks for the swap!


Author's Response: Hey Anja!

Aww I'm glad that you did, too! :)

I really wasn't planning on writing anything like this at all. But after I wrote Bruises, Emmeline kind of just stuck with me, and I found myself planning out the her life from when Sirius broke out of Azkaban on. I'm really excited about this story, so I'm thrilled that you like it so far! :)

I hated the idea of Remus all alone and was glad to at least have Emmeline there for him. Even if they don't see each other often.

I feel like he either didn't know where he was, was ashamed of himself, couldn't bring himself to see the small reminder of the friends he lost, or was told my the Dursleys that he wasn't welcome there. I'm guessing probably the second thing, though. Knowing what we know of him from Canon. :(

Aww I'm glad that you like it! I'm hoping to have chapter 3 up within the next week!

Thanks so much for the swap and for the lovely reciew!! ♥

xoxo Meg

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Review #22, by pointless_proclamations Chapter 1

19th April 2015:

I'm sorry it has taken so long for me to get here. To anyone who has read 'Bruises,' the first line is a punch in the gut. It is the cymbals that bang together, effectively bringing you out of what was once a very peaceful slumber.

I adore how you made Em think the worst of Sirius because she believes that he betrayed James and Lily and Harry, do I really, though? No. But you're awesome for doing that because HOLY COW THIS IS GOING TO BE AND ALREADY IS AN AWESOME ONE.

It's Meg Standard, it is from the inevitable heart-break, the remarkable style of narration, the clever planning of the plot, the high emotional efficacy, the beautiful characterisation--everything about it.

Meg, we have a wild journey of emotions in front of us, and you've built up a really good foundation for that with a really powerful first chapter.


Meg, you and your genius plotting and your fabulous ideas! I adore you!!


Love and hugs and more love and worshippy and awe and admiration and Koala/alien/bunny/snake/teddybear love/hugs,

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Review #23, by SunshineDaisies Chapter 2

18th April 2015:
Hello there!

My writing for Nano always feels rushed and awful, but it actually ends up being some of my best work, in hindsight. I don't think you need to worry about this. :)

I love the way you wrote Dumbledore. He's SUCH a tricky character, and I think you've portrayed him very well here.

I love how Remus is coming across as well. This has made me wonder how he did go about hiring Remus as DADA professor. How you've written it makes so much sense. Of course Remus would want to protect Harry. It makes perfect sense. I think your portrayal of Remus is actually one of the most accurate I've seen, if not THE MOST accurate. He is really spot on.

I can't speak to accuracy with Emmeline, but I do adore her. Your characterization was just as strong in this chapter as it was in the last, and you've made her seem so human! I liked that you had her breakdown and cry. I actually think a little more description of that would make it a bit stronger.

I really like the use of emphasized words to refer to Sirius instead of his name. It adds a lot to Emmeline's character and the situation. I think that's one of the perks of first person narration. You can really understand someone's feelings without much description at all.

Overall, an excellent chapter :)

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Review #24, by Felpata Lupin Chapter 2

13th April 2015:
Hey, Meg, darling!
Oh, I'm already in love with this story! Camp NaNo is paying off ;)
I'm feeling so bad for both Emmeline and Remus... :'( Their reactions are so real, very well done!
It broke my heart to see the conditions in where Remus was living. Fortunately his new job at Hogwarts will do him some good! I don't know if I was more sorry or exasperated when he refused. But I suppose that's just like him.
And since I know you're concerned about it, you did a great job with Dumbledore, too!
Very well done, Meg! Eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
Tons of love,

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Review #25, by TreacleTart Chapter 2

11th April 2015:
Hey Meg!

I'm here for our review swap!

This chapter picked up right where we left off in the last chapter and expanded upon it nicely. It all seemed to move very quickly, maybe just a little bit too quuickly. I would suggest adding a bit more description particularly in the beginning. Maybe you could talk about the ringing sounds in Emmeline's ears after she sprinted up the stairs or the sound their feet made as they pounded up the steps. I'm a big fan of imagery, so I think a bit more of it would just add to it in a nice way.

I thought both Emmeline and Remus' reactions seemed completely normal considering what had happened. I would imagine that Sirius' escape would bring up a lot of awful feelings for both of them.

I love the way Remus resisted the teaching job offer at first. I imagine him being very self depreciating and insecure. Actually in my headcannon, it pretty much goes exactly as you've written it, except that it's Dumbledore who does the guilt tripping. I figure pulling the James card would cause him to fold.

It was a minor detail, but I really appreciated that Emmeline points out how infuriating Dumbledore can be with his vagueness. I always found it quite frustrating in the book, but we learn eventually that he knows what he's doing.

Emmeline's break down at the end is so sad. Poor thing. This whole event really did a number on her. I'm not sure if this stays cannon compliant or not, but I hope she gets a chance to find out that Sirius is in fact innocent.

All in all, another solid chapter. Considering how rapidly you're writing this, it's quite good!

Thanks for swapping with me Meg!


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