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Reading Reviews for Take Two
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maraudertimes Act I - Epiphany

19th September 2016:
Hi there!

Okay, so this was a hurtful little chapter and I totally blame you for my heartbreak! It's one thing to read about a breakup, it's another to read about one where someone screwed up and wishes they could take it back immediately, especially when I just went through this kind of thing. But, no matter how I lament about Molly and the unnamed character's break up, you really did write it well!

From the moment those first words were uttered to the end, you wrote Molly as a scorned woman (hell hath no fury, right?) in all the right ways, and even though you didn't mention it, I'm sure it was evident on her face that although she was livid, she was devastated as well. I actually enjoyed that there was hardly any dialogue as it lent itself more to the scene that you described everything that was happening and everything the main character was feeling instead of using dialogue. You showed, you didn't tell.

Jasmine is an amazing friend! I would do the same thing, try and keep my friend's mind off of the breakup. I think it's a nice thing that she did eventually ask if the MC wanted to talk but didn't press when she didn't. She seems like a really good person to have around after a breakup.

This was a really great first chapter and I'm so curious to see what happens next! Great job!
Lo :)

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Review #2, by looneylizzie Act V - Forgiveness

18th September 2015:
D'awwwe! This is such an adorable story!

I like Elisabeth a lot - that she's such an imperfect person and she's realizing for the first time that she's made some pretty terrible decisions in the past, but she's become a better person because of what happened. She's come to value herself, and Molly and her second chance that much more because of what happened.

I don't think she would have valued Molly as much as she came to unless this had happened in the first place. It's one of those situations where the heartbreak she felt ended up being a good thing in a lot of ways.

You've done a great job of writing Elisabeth in a way that is realistic throughout these major changes that are happening in her life. I especially like that we really only see the changing Elisabeth, not the Elisabeth before or after this event. It's interesting that way, to just see the middle, not the beginning or end - if that makes any sense at all.

It probably doesn't. :)

Anyway, this is a great story and I really enjoyed it! Keep writing!!
Lizzie

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Review #3, by looneylizzie Act I - Epiphany

18th September 2015:
Okay, so I'm *finally* here for the reviews I owe you as prizes for the Animagus Challenge! So sorry it took so long!!

Anyway, this is a great introductory chapter, although it's sad that it has to start with a breakup.

It's interesting that they're right in the middle of a breakup, yet she's realizing that she's completely fallen for Molly. That's not something I'd have expected.

Jasmine seems like a great friend. I especially like her brutal honesty. She doesn't sugarcoat things, but she's not unsympathetic either, which is a hard combination to find in a someone.

One teeny tiny bit of CC - we have no idea who our main protagonist's name is. You've written her very well, but I feel a bit out of step by not knowing her name at all. I can see things from her POV really well, but it's hard to relate to her if she's totally anonymous.

Names have power in that way.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter! The repercussions of this probably won't be particularly fun.

Keep writing!
Lizzie

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Review #4, by merlins beard Act V - Forgiveness

5th July 2015:
Hey there!

I love big gestures ;)
I loved that Elizabeth was leaving letters for Molly to find... Would have loved to know what was in them...

I'm usually not a huge fan of shouting feelings across the Great Hall, but it kind of worked here, and obviously Molly didn't mind. It just suits Elizabeth's character.

I'm a little short on time right now, but I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this anyway.

~Anja

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Review #5, by merlins beard Act IV - Trust

1st July 2015:
Hey there. Do you know how excited I get every time you update?
This chapter is exactly as awesome as the last few were.

I LOVE how Jasmine talks about love and what's important... that's so beautiful. I agree that Molly wouldn't be able to forgive quite so fast... and I like to see characters do a bit of grovelling.

I can't wait for the next chapter. See you then,

~Anja

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Review #6, by jessicalorewrites Act III - Hope

25th June 2015:
hey! jess here, reading and reviewing so that I can (finally lol) get the results out for the diversity challenge. the results should be out within the next couple of days so keep your eyes peeled over on the forums!

ahh, I'm so happy that both molly's friend regan and elisabeth's friend jasmine decided to step in and get elisabeth to TRY AGAIN. I really do think molly would be receptive of it if she did since, like regan said, she misses her. I'm not surprised, I bet they were really cute together! ♥

I like a lot of the little tidbits you leave about characters and how naturally you weave these into the existing story. like all the little morsels of info you have on regan, which are brought to attention from a very natural progression of elisabeth's thoughts. I like realistic stories and this was one of them!

diversity:
not much more to add really than what I've said in previous reviews ♥ you're doing great! you slid the thing in about regan being jewish really well--even with just the line about not wanting to miss service

favourite line/bit:
"and because you’ve said that, I also have a piece of advice for you: try again."

~sorry that the review isn't longer. I really think you've done excellently with the story so far though and I can't wait to see where it takes us: whether there'll be more added or not, whether elisabeth will ever win molly back or not... I can't wait to see!

- jess, xo

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Review #7, by jessicalorewrites Act II - Regrets

25th June 2015:
hey! jess here, reading and reviewing so that I can (finally lol) get the results out for the diversity challenge. the results should be out within the next couple of days so keep your eyes peeled over on the forums!

wow, celeste does not seem like a nice person at all! as if elisabeth walked over there with high hopes of apologising but then ice queen awful-mcawfulpants (it's hard not to swear) is so rude. ugh. I'm so frustrated! even though elisabeth keeps putting herself down I don't think she truly deserves it. I wish they'd make up already :( jasmine isn't making things much better either tbh... the comment about elisabeth not knowing who her friends are must've stung a little. poor girl. I bet she's feeling so lonely... :\

no outsider in the slytherin common room in 700 hundred years, hm??? *shifty eyes* I'm sure harry and ron would have something to say about THAT hahaaha

okay wow I'm starting to understand more now the type of person elisabeth is with all her heart breaking and publicly embarrasing people and untrustworthy nature. I get it why celeste wasn't fond of molly speaking to her now! still.. I feel like this is definitely different for elisabeth now and that molly means a lot more to her than anybody else ever did. judging from that last section I deem this to be incredibly true andd just wish now that things could get back to the easy way they were before! :(

diversity:
"girlfriend or boyfriend" bisexual?! yesss :D sorry I'm just particularly partial to bi- or pansexual characters because I love that monosexuality is addressed ya know? I love that them being a same-sex couple is barely even an issue in this fic--like it's mentioned that there are a few passing comments on them being gay but sTILL it's awesome that they seem to be in a mostly progressive society

favourite line/bit:
"in the last few days, the gossip had exploded, with Hogwarts’ students picking over my life like vultures over carrion meat" I really like this simile hahaha it's so perfectly worded!

- jess, xo

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Review #8, by jessicalorewrites Act I - Epiphany

25th June 2015:
hey! jess here, reading and reviewing so that I can (finally lol) get the results out for the diversity challenge. the results should be out within the next couple of days so keep your eyes peeled over on the forums!

oh no, I can't believe this story starts with a break up and heartbreak! still, it's an interesting beginning to have chosen and it actually made me incredibly interested in reading on because I knew it would be good and I just nEEDED to find out what was going on with molly and the narrator. it's so sad, that the narrator (you haven't said her name right yet? or am I just being dense?) is saying all these bitter, hurtful things to molly and molly is replying with equal ferociousness but underneath it all is the confession of "I love her" and it makes my heart PANG

on a lighter note I loved molly introducing football kickabouts on a saturday morning! that's so interesting--I love the mixing of muggle and magic. tbh I'm surprised football hadn't been introduced sooner in wizarding history but I'm glad it found its way there in the end :p

jasmine seems like a good friend for the narrator too. she knows when to tell her when she's wrong and when she's being hurtful and that's a good characteristic in a friend. honesty is everything ♥ I hope we get to see more of her, and more of molly too!!

diversity:
I love the ease in which you portray this relationship, that they don't seem to be worried about what other people might think. this gives me great hopes for the future--hopefully this is a more accepting society!! :) I'm glad that they are happy and comfortable in their same-sex relationship and are so in love that they can go out on dates etc. well, they COULD. I want them back together now D:

favourite line/bit:
"what else are friends for if not to tell you when you've messed up? and you really have, by the way" "I know"

- jess, xo

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Review #9, by merlins beard Act III - Hope

28th April 2015:
Hi. Remember me?
I'm back for some more of your awesomeness.

This chapter is kind of cute. I'm glad Molly's friend decides to step in. It's much appreciated...

I'm really glad Jasmine is ok with this, too. Getting back into Molly's good books will take quite a lot of work if the usuall stubbornness of weasley women is any indication.

Thanks for not making me wait too long for this

Love
~Anja

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Review #10, by merlins beard Act II - Regrets

24th April 2015:
Hi again. I really like the story so far. Can't wait for another chapter.

There are some mistakes in this chapter that need fixing (mostly spelling), and one thing: Harry and Ron are in the slytherin common room in their second year, as crabbe and goyle after taking the polyjuice potion. I don't know if that counts, but i'm sure other slytherins had the occasional visitor...

~Anja

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Review #11, by merlins beard Act I - Epiphany

24th April 2015:
Hi!
I came across this story while desperatly trying to find something to distract myself from studying.

I really enjoyed this chapter a lot and I can't wait to see where the story goes.
I'm usually very picky about what characters or genres I read... I don't think I have read a story with Molly as the main canon character yet, and I'm really excited about the way you described her. I've seen wuite a few stories about her being boring and always studying and a lot like percy. I don't think I've seen her quite so adventurous yet, but I like it.

Anyway... i'll stop reviewing now so I can finally get to the next chapter.

~Anja

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Review #12, by Willow Act I - Epiphany

5th April 2015:
Brilliant. Really good, I loved the paragraph at the end because it was honestly adorable. You are an ace writer and thanks for writing this

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much - I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

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