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Reading Reviews for i'm coming home
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jessicalorewrites breathe.

18th June 2015:
hey! jess here, reading and reviewing so that I can (finally lol) get the results out for the diversity challenge. the results should be out within the next couple of days so keep your eyes peeled over on the forums!

plot/written value:
why are there not more daphne stories?!?!? I wish there were. there were two parts to this story and I liked how they split the chapter apart. the first, introducing daphne and the setting and how anxious a person she is, with the second sort of showing how she is learning to move on. in my head the café cho works in is set in sunlit parklands with beautiful scenery--idk if this is what you intended but the warm, happy feelings certainly emit that kind of setting. coffee and tea seem to be soothing in general; their importance in this story plays a really lovely role.

characters:
daphne as the sole slytherin that didn't conform to the dark arts is key to her character, I feel. it says a lot about her and the type of person she is. it's so sad that she's still plagued by nightmares, though. my poor dear ♥ and draco too I love how daphne is still very wary of him. that's my favourite thing I think: showing that things aren't completely black and white and that there are gray areas between good, bad, and moving on. cho and her tea! hah! it's lovely that this is cho's defining trait that you've decided to pick out and run with but I love it hehe. and the fact that she wants to be a healer ties in well with everything she's been through: the loss of cedric, surely the loss of many others in the war, and then losing her friend to suicide..

diversity:
it sounds like a weird thing but like I commend you for using the word bisexual in this. so much. bi erasure is one of the things that annoys me thE MOST. I too am glad cho chang is as bisexual as daphne wishes her to be. their relationship seemed so natural and I'm really happy with it's simple, organic progression throughout the chapter ^.^

favourite line/bit:
"wonders what her lips would taste like. coffee and sunlight and bravery, probably." this is my favourite line for literature reasons but HI OKAY THIS NEXT BIT IS THE BEST HAH
"well, I suppose she did suck face with potter, that’d be enough to turn any girl a bit gay.”
“weren’t you a bit gay for potter once?”
“shush.”

- jess, xo

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Review #2, by 2007 Pete Wentz breathe.

18th April 2015:
wow. ad astra. that's a cool username. i like it.

greetings from the year 2007. i'm pete wentz. you might have heard of me.

this story is a great depiction of anxiety. it almost makes me feel like you've dealt with it yourself. hey, dude, me too. you're not alone. and writing is an awesome way to get all those sucky feelings out. hopefully it makes you feel a bit better - it does for me.

its cool that Draco and Daphne managed to put their past behind them. that can be a really hard thing to do. i know i hold grudges like nobodys business. there was this whole thing with the killers... but whatever thats not the point. the point is, good on them.

wow, your characters are really open about sexuality and stuff... thats really cool. i wish i could be like that... uh, not that im gay or anything. im straight. definitely.

Cho seems like she'll be really good for Daphne. i like the description of Cho's taste, with the whole "bravery" thing. that's sick. i wonder what bravery would taste like...

anyway, this is awesome. youre a really good writer, dude. i hope you win the challenge you wrote this for.

i have to go update my livejournal now. peace.

xopeter

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Review #3, by Michaela Pratt breathe.

18th April 2015:
Hi Lisa.

I'm Michaela Pratt, a student of Professor Keating. We're recently taken a case where a woman speaks ancient greek. Unfortunately we don't understand what she's saying, and friend over at the forums directed me to you. She said you may be able to translate it for us, so Professor Keating told me to come here and ask you. She told me to tell you that as a reward for your help, she will be your defence attorney if you should ever need one. And she also asked me to leave you a review to convince you to help us, so I am going to do just that now.

I felt really sorry for Daphne in this story. I think you did an amazing job of portraying her. I could almost feel how scared she was, and I like that she didn't actually know how long she had been like this. I've recently been a little jumpy myself, you know, after everything that has happened with Lila and Sam, Professor Keating's husband. And police investigation and guilt and etc... everthing's just been a little stressful lately. So I feel I can relate to her, even if I haven't been like this as long as I am guessing she has.

I like her relationship with Cho. They seem like perfect match to me. It's a little cliche meeting in coffee shop, but I think it works well here. I mean, it can happen in real life, so to me it's all about how you write it. And I think you wrote it well. And the kiss... so sweet.

You're obviously very talented, and I really like your description and dialogues. I wish I could stay for a little while longer, but I do have to go now. Professor Keating needs me to work with this case. But if you are willing to help us, would you let my friend over at the forums now. I can't reveal her name for safety reasons, but I'm sure you'll find her anyway.

Thanks in advance!

Michaela Pratt

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Review #4, by Aphoride breathe.

7th April 2015:
Hey Lisa! :) So I'm so glad you wanted to swap because, tbh, I don't think I read enough of your stuff (and is it an excuse to say you write a lot of good stuff in a short space of time? :P Probably not, haha).

And this is so good. It's such a sweet, hopeful one-shot, and your writing is so lovely and so good at pulling all of the emotions out to make me feel what your characters are feeling, you know? It makes this so touching and the ending all that much better for it, because I'm genuinely glad that Daphne will have the chance to get better, and will be able to, and will fall in love and have a chance at the life she should have had anyway.

(I think this is the point I should say that my sisters both have anxiety. Different types, and neither of them has panic attacks, really - one of them has, but really rarely - so this is kinda hard-hitting for me because of that.)

I love the way you wrote Daphne, too, how she was so scared and how she couldn't remember even if she'd been anxious like that before the war, or just since it had started. She's such a beautiful character - she's scared and has such bad anxiety (I wanted to hug her for most of this, I gotta admit), and yet she's still able to stand up for herself to Draco and be the older sister when talking about Draco and Astoria. She's so real, but then most of the people you write are, so that shouldn't be too much of a surprise ;)

The whole thing with her meeting Cho was gorgeous. I love that it happened in a coffee shop - it's a bit of a cliche at times, but it works so well, and it's such a cute idea, haha - and how Cho pretty much knew Daphne liked her, and liked her back, without Daphne saying anything. It was such a lovely scene, when Cho talked to her after she'd been at the cafe all day for so long. And then when they met up at the teashop (a not-date date :P Hehe, always love it when that happens!), and the kiss afterwards... it was so so sweet! :)

You know, I actually really like Cho as a character - she always gets so picked on by fans, but really, she saw her boyfriend get murdered. I'd cry after that! - so I'm so glad you chose her for this, because she really deserves a second chance :P Also, she's really not written enough, in any form. I love how she's so nice and genuine and warm in this, how she just wants to help and she's so invested, and she's suffered so much but she keeps going. She's just amazing, and I love how you described her with the continual references to light and so on - it was so gorgeous, and really so romantic, too.

Your writing, as usual, was so gorgeous in this. Your description is so lovely - the panic attacks you wrote were so vivid! - and your dialogue, of course, was brilliant. I loved the way you used taste in this too - the repetition of coffee and sunlight and bravery, even if not entirely - because it was so gorgeous, and as a phrase I love it anyway :P

Also, just a small thing, but I loved how Tori knows everything :P Poor Draco, hehe.

But yes, this was a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot, and I'm sorry this review is a little short, but I think if I repeated 'this is gorgeous. this is gorgeous. you are gorgeous.' etc. ad nauseum, it might get a little boring :P But yes, this is so gorgeous! :D

Aph xx

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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin breathe.

21st March 2015:
I'm pretty sure this is the nicest, sweetest thing I have ever read. I literally did not want it to end.

Daphne was just so... I actually wanted to hug her, but felt too afraid to in case she panicked. And that sounds a little weird because this is fiction, but I could see it all in my head and it felt real enough.

I love the dynamics between the four - well, three - flatmates (damn, Theo, where'd you go?). There's tension between them just like any other family, some more than others (looking at you, Draco. Naughty naughty).

Everything about Daphne and Cho makes me smile. It just does. I refuse to believe they don't get together and Daphne gets some help with her anxiety and they live happily ever after. :D

I loved this so much!

Sam.

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