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Reading Reviews for lay me down
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bittersweetflames i. can I lay by your side?

25th July 2015:
Jess, you evil, cruel person... I love you, I really do but you broke my heart and that's just NOT FAIR.. -moans-
WHY? WHY? WHY? Why did you convince me of Seamus/Dean? (Because you really did. So well, in fact, that I started to ship them so hard in my brain) then I realised that, wait, they've been properly sunk in this fic.. SO. THERE I WAS, a puddle of feels on the floor and it's all because of you. So, yes, you are a cruel, evil person.

Obviously, you already know that, while uber late, I am here reviewing this for the Logophile challenge and so, up next, I would like to talk about lachrymose...
I love this word. Mostly, I love saying it; it's just feels delicious on my tongue, if you know what I mean. That and it reminds me of 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' by Lemony Snickets. Haha. But, I do digress.

So, yes, the word. :) I felt that you did it justice.. :D Mostly, towards the end, when Seamus is lying in the grass and watching the sky next to Luna (LUNA!! I'll get to her later!) So, yes, there he is so morose and you talk about his process of healing in the year since Dean's death and I really felt you brought home the meaning of the word for me. ;) I am so glad (but, you know, in a heartbroken sort of way) that you wrote this coming from my challenge. :)

Okay, Luna. I LOVE LUNA. She is just one of those characters who's so easy to get wrong but, dude, you really got her right. I loved how she's like silk... so cool and comfortable, wrapping around you without suffocating you. That's how she read to me in this fic and that's also how she read to me in the books. She was, probably, my favorite part in this one-shot if only because she didn't make me cry. -glares-

So, yeah, sorry for the uber long wait but thank you for writing this story for my challenge! I really loved it. :)


--Carla

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Review #2, by The_Crookshanks_Saga i. can I lay by your side?

1st June 2015:
I swear I felt every single feel while reading this, Jess, at the moment I hate/love you so much.

I'm reviewing this for the Logophile's challenge, and dude, you got me feeling like---

(and yes, I know this review is supposed to be professional, but I kind of stopped reviewing like that after I read the first fic for the challenge, because all of you have done such amazing things and I'm utterly impressed)

I never really shipped Dean/Seamus before, mainly because when I first picked up the HP series as a midget kid, I idolized them as the ultimate bromance. But I get it now, and I wish I didn't, because them being wrenched away from each other is just so-- lachrymose?

I felt you didn't incorporate your word in here as well as some of the other entries, as lachrymose is more sorrowful and mournful than "the essence of grief" to me, but that's a personal opinion. I really enjoyed your style of writing-- the words for it are poignant and lyrical, and really, really delicious. I loved how at the end, Luna comes in to help with the healing process, because that kind of sums up her character in fanfiction-- a Healer. I am really impressed by how you wrote her-- getting Luna right is something rare and satisfying.

Anyways, I really, truly enjoyed reading this, and keep posted because the results for the challenge should be up soon! ♥

-Meena

Author's Response: hi there! wow, strong reaction. I'll take it as a compliment haha ;)

(professional reviews are boring pls, fangirl as MUCH as you want)

oh trust me I was definitely not on the deanmus bandwagon until very very recently. I used to be all about "THEY'RE SUCH GOOD BROS" but at last I see the light--

ooh I see where you're coming from with that yes! damn I wish I'd thought of how to incorporate it better now. I enjoyed writing this nonetheless though! thank you for running the challenge! I really love interesting words and lachrymose was a great one to get my creative juices flowing :D

I'll definitely keep checking for the results. I can't wait to see which wonderful entries you pick because, you're right, there's so many astounding fics that've been entered for this challenge! ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #3, by Sparrow of the Ash Tree i. can I lay by your side?

31st May 2015:
No! Jess what D:

I saw Seamus and Dean so I come over to read this and whaaat??? You killed Dean. I can't do this. Look. There is a hole in the side of my chest where my sparrow heart used to be. Poor Seamus is heartbroken. Heck I'm broken. You broke me Jess. *sniffles birdily*

In terms of the actual story, you have done an amazing job. It was heart destroying, but that just shows how fabulous an author you are. You put so many feels into this story. The second section, with Seamus trying to kill himself, was really well written. You didn't do it up, but you made us sit and listen to what was going through his mind. You told the reader to listen and I did. Seamus wasn't trying to be heroic or brave, he just wanted out. I don't think any reader could read this and not feel that. He didn't want to do this, day in, day out, struggling to get by without Dean. I don't mean to draw this out but I think you'll understand. By writing the third section, that to me showed his courage. It showed that he was willing to try. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Even in the first section, before you mentioned names, it was clear that this was Seamus. I don't know why. Just something about the sentence structure and word choice, made me think we were reading about Seamus rather than Dean.

I loved the way you wrote Luna in this story. She is so in character, and she has a voice that is generally really difficult to get right. Honestly, you couldn't have written her better. She has grown up a little, but she is still so kind and so wonderful.

Do you know what the worst part of this was for me? (Not with your writing, your writing is gorgeous) It was the fact that they got through the war. They made it out alive, and Merlin would that be such a relief for them. They could actually picture a future for themselves, one that featured each other. And then BAMN. Jess open the gates to Hell and the demons come crawling out. :'(

This was really breathtaking. I think I shall have to rest before flying over to review some more of your stories. You see, it's difficult to fly when you seem to be missing your heart.

Sparrow of the Ash Tree

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Review #4, by crestwood i. can I lay by your side?

5th April 2015:
hi jess i saw dean/seamus on the forums and i ran out of the hole in the ground i've been in lately

can i just say that the formatting of this is beautiful. i feel so weird complimenting it, but this story is just gorgeous before i even begin reading

I love that you've given me a song to listen to while I read this. I really enjoy when people do that because it gives me a sense of the rhythm the story is written in. People tend to syncopate that sort of thing unconsciously, even if they don't know how because the brain is an awesome thing.

I immediately knew I was getting myself into something amazing when I began reading this. I'm in this challenge too and I am now officially nervous. You have so many amazing, hard hitting lines even just in the first few. "Each tear Ė if you could distinguish from the flow" THIS WAS PERFECT. Just such a poignant little aside. I don't know why that struck me the way it did.

I am searching for words but what does one say after reading something like this. Every little phrase placed in the place it belongs. I can almost visualize it. Absolutely poetic. The words are out of breath at points, and then they're rough and cacophonous. One feels exactly as the words want them to. Reading this, one submits themselves to the will of what you have written here.

The suicide attempt is tactfully done. It isn't overly dressed up or distasteful. You put us inside of his mind in that moment. The amount of empathy the reader feels in that moment hurts, almost physically, but it's one of those things you can't really take yours eyes off. There's a morbid curiosity that I can't shake; something that draws me back over these words over and over again. But, in order to finish this review, I will pry myself out of the cycle and get back to reading.

There is nothing to say of the way this talk of these two meeting makes me feel. It doesn't make me feel a certain way, because it makes me feel everything. What doesn't it make me feel?

Luna is the perfect character for this story. This story needed her. I needed this story. There's nothing I love more than a story written in such wonderful lyrical prose. Everything was perfect. I suggest changing nothing. Love it love it love it. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Author's Response: asdjshfdbgj fd such a long review. I'm sorry it's taken me ~forever~ to respond to this but I remember when I first read it and I think I melted into a muddle tbh you're so lovely and kind.

oh yay someone else who appreciates formatting ^.^ I spend a weird amount of time obsessing over this tbh

I think I did actually replicate some of the rhythm of sam smith? ??? maybe unconscious maybe not. I tried to follow the tone and I had it playing a LOT whilst I was writing so probably haha

THAT LINE IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES. is it weird to have favourite lines from your own stories? idc I'm super proud of it I love it too ♥ wHICH MAKES ME HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE APPRECIATES IT YAS THANK YOU

honestly. you just GET this oneshot. like, you've picked up on all the tiny little things I wanted the reader to experience as they read it. YOU GET IT JOEY YOU GET IT PRAISE THE HEAVENS HALLELUJAH

(sorry. I'm just v happy right now)

'I suggest changing nothing' wowowow the most forward anyone has ever been. I love it ♥

thank YOU for the loveliest review ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #5, by LooneyLizzie - Round 1 i. can I lay by your side?

4th April 2015:
For CTF - Jailbreaking Deeds.

I can't even say something clever, because my heart is breaking. (Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...too late)

JESS! What is this amazingness? THE FEELS! My heart feels like it's going to rip in two!

No, seriously, this is AMAZING! Firstly, I think you did an excellent job of defining lachrymose without even using the word. That's really really hard to do! Every word manages to push you further and further into the definition of lachrymose.

The prose, the descriptions, the details, the words. All of it is just so excellent, and laced with feelings. How do you manage to put such emotion into this? The emotion behind the word just wash over you without you being able to stop it.

Ah, Luna. There's a reason why she's one of my favorite characters. She's experienced such loss and such a difficult life, but she somehow manages to be completely real and so positive.

Part of me wonders what exactly happened to Dean, and how Seamus survived, but those details become irrelevant while reading, since you get caught up in the emotion of it all, and the lack of detail almost encourages that emotion.

Only CC would be some minor grammar/spelling edits, but that's really it!

SUCH an amazing little one-shot. Favoriting right now.

LL

Author's Response: heyyo

aw omg you're too nice I'm so -blushes intensely-

ahh thank you! lachrymose is such an ~awkward~ word that is not ever really said by anyone lets be honest. so it would have felt stilted and forced to include it in dialogue or even description -- so I went with the mood/tone instead.

ahh, luna. I couldn't think of anyone else who would be better for the role she plays in this ♥

I never EXPLICITLY thought about the exact details of dean's death because I knew I didn't want to go into big detail in this. the thing that I imagine happened though is an explosion in diagon alley which dean was caught in the midst of (he went to london to meet/surprise seamus), which was caused by death eater type people/supporters who hadn't been rounded up yet.

(I think) I've gone over and edited grammar and things since you left this review :D

thank you for the favourite!! glad you enjoyed ♥ ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #6, by hey-its-a/Deeds i. can I lay by your side?

4th April 2015:
FOR THE CAPTURE THE FLAG COMPETITON

#TEAMFATLADIES

clinging to her midnight blue dress (ďLike the sky. Heís looking down on us all, just like my mum,Ē) as she listens to the vicar and he pretends to.

Uh. You got me here. It was like a pang in my chest and I felt like the contents in my stomach were going to come back up. Loss, Dean, why?

Iíve never read a Dean/Seamus story so Iím really intrigued. The introduction of Luna and what she says about her mother: chilling. And creepy. I donít know why but Luna will forever give me the heebie-jeebies.

But it had been futile, just like now. No matter how much he screamed and shouted and yelled until his throat was scathingly hoarse, no matter how many hours Ė days, even Ė he spent sobbing into hysteria

Tears and chills. Horrible. Absolutely horrible, but death always is, isnít? Especially if it is the death of a loved one. I can just feel his raw emotion and itís suffocating me. Itís too much.

And that ending. A little less creepy Luna, more of a dream-like, is she really there and is he really alive moment. I can feel the connection between Luna and Seamus. It is a strong one and I appreciate that. I never thought about these three characters that much before but it makes sense to me that Luna would be there to comfort him and understand. This story was like the stages of grief, you can go through the stages but sometimes it is still like an endless cycle, at least parts of it. He can move on but there will always be this pull and reminder of who Dean was and what he was to Seamus.

They could have been a lovely pair.

OH THE FEELS JESS, THE FEELS ARE REAL.

Author's Response: HEYY

sorry this is so late lol

tbh I think I've read maybe only a handful of deanmus fics myself but somehow they just FIT with this story idea, y'know? and I knew it couldn't be about anyone or anything else, even though it broke my heart to write. dean dying isn't one of my personal headcanons but it was necessary for this plot... and I like the idea of rowdy death eater type people who hadn't been imprisoned yet trying to further voldemort's plans even after the war.

oooh I kinda understand why you get the chilling feeling. I actually feel the same way towards her a lot of the time. she's just sort of... eerie? it's weird. I think she's a great character but her sense of disassociation makes me shudder sometimes.

thank you for such a lovely review! sorry for breaking your heart ♥

- jess, xo


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Review #7, by Snowdrop Selkie i. can I lay by your side?

31st March 2015:
*wails hysterically*

Forgive me for once again potentially deafening you, for I am feeling all the things you humans call "feels", I can't even think coherently, how do you even find the words, I can't even... Ahhh.

Holy hippocampus this is the most beautifully written piece I've read in a really long time. Between the inspiration word and the song and the general flow and the descriptions and the characterisation but most of all THE EMOTIONS ah my barnacled heart can't take it but it was all so perfectly heartbreaking.

More than anything else what struck me the most throughout reading this was how I felt everything Seamus feels as I read the story - the love, the hopelessness, the overwhelming grief, the pain, the emptiness, the desperation, the injustice of it all... I actually found myself thinking of my merman, and how I would feel in Seamus' position and it really got to me. Someday I want to watch the stars (sea-stars that is) with him and get our own pet Grindylow and to enjoy lazy mornings and ugh to have all that and everything else snatched away so cruelly, I don't think I could handle it.

I really loved how you depicted Luna as well and I'm happy her and Seamus are there for eachother and will help each other to heal. There's a vague glimmer of hope for Seamus at the end which is nice, I don't think Dean would want him to throw his life away because of him.

Anyways, I must leave, it seems my wailing has set the Giant Squid on a rampage. Apologies for the terribly incoherent review, this is a beautiful piece of writing and I am in awe at your skill. Well done!

Author's Response: SNOWDROP SELKIE YOU ARE THE KINDEST SELKIE TO EVER LIVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY WITTLE HEART. also, your little dream about being with a merman was so cute I almost teared up ♥

sorry my response isn't longer! I'm busy writing right now but I really did enjoy this and I think you're SO LOVELY thank you so much

- jess, xo


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Review #8, by mymischiefmanaged i. can I lay by your side?

21st March 2015:
Hi Jess, here for our swap.

Wow, this is just amazing. I've been wanting to read some stories with a focus on Dean/Seamus and this is perfect. Like, it's horrible and devastating but also incredibly beautiful. I'd love to see it extended into a longer story.

Seamus's grief is beautifully written. You've captured his confusion and anger and still given him his own personality around it and it's very good writing. I wish I could think of more to say about it but I'm struggling because all I can think to say is that it's really, really good.

Some of my favourite lines:

"Salted tears lick salted wounds as he stumbles his way out of the church after the ceremony draws to a close. It will not do to life a life of fantasy but he canít tear himself away from it, from the comfort and the safety of his dreams."

"Wind racing, eyes watering, teeth chattering, he hovers in mid-air. His heart does not pump."

"He feels her fingers, coarse from who-knows-what, thread through his."

Oo, it's just so so beautiful and perfect. And I love your characterisation of Luna. She's completely in character with what we see in canon but then this is a slightly different side to her because Seamus has different needs to Harry. She's lovely.

Loved reading this. Thanks for the swap!

Emma xx

Author's Response: hey

ahh thank you so much! I don't think I'd have the patience for a longer story though. post-hogwarts is like a fun little delve into oneshot territory for me and I don't think I could commit to anything longer. strictly next gen in that respect ;) (she says that as she plans a marauders era novel-length.)

thank you for your wonderful feedback! and thank you too for the swap :)

- jess, xo


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Review #9, by krazyboutharryginny i. can I lay by your side?

21st March 2015:
JESS oh my GOD i am LITERALLY CRYING
You and Kaitlin can get together and have a we-made-Kayla-cry-twice-in-1-day party now.

Ugh. UGH. So well written. So nicely done. I want to leave a proper review (I've been trying to improve my reviewing skills) but I literally can't think of anything to say that isn't something along the lines of "JESS MY FEELS", so if I think of anything later I'll PM you :')

-Kayla

Author's Response: hahahah oh no I didn't mean to make you cry! but at the same time... *cackles*

honestly don't ever feel like you have to leave a massive long para just knowing that it is being read and enjoyed is enough for me ♥ that being said, DO pm me if you want to about anything!

:)

- jess,xo


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Review #10, by randomwriter i. can I lay by your side?

21st March 2015:
OH GOD, Jess. NO. No no no. . I really don't know where to start. Usually, I can ramble. I'm pretty good at it. But you've taken the words right out my me with this one.

When you mentioned that you were writing something so heartbreaking on the forums, I knew I had to read it. I was waiting for it in fact. And I had my own resolution to add to that, which is to leave a review for every member of our Quidditch team for doing such an amazing job! So well, this is my thank you! It's been a great team to work with!

Now I know that the word is just your inspiration, but can just I say that it's beautiful. I've always thought so. And even though you didn't use it directly in your story, you carried its essence through beautifully. This one-shot was so heavy with sorrow and longing. I really felt for Dean.

I love, love, loove your characterisation of Luna and Seamus, and the lovely sort of co-dependent friendship they have. It seems as though they really needed each other to move on from his death. Also, the dialogue, and just how you've written them, the ease of how they operate with each other, their emotions and conversations, I think you did a great job of it all. It made me happy that though they lost so much (because one person can be everything to some people), they still had each other to fall back on. I always picture Dean and Luna being close. I feel as if they would share a close bond, having gone through so much together during the war. So it's nice to see that the nature of their relationship was reflected in this own as well. I'm sure Luna would have gotten closer to Seamus through Dean.

I'm honestly at loss for words. The emotional maturity you displayed here was excellent. I feel like you have a good handle on human emotion. As a psych minor, wow. I loved it. It made me so sad, but I loved it so much. You really made me, as a reader, get stuck in and understand the death of his grief. and to be able to do that in just about 1500 words is commendable.

I'm going to go in order of sections to tell you some things that were going through my head as I was reading this, but before I forget, I must mention that I loved the names of the sections. They were really apt.

The first section: Wow. You get right in there. You don't waste a moment in telling us how broken and distraught Seamus is, and I could already feel the pain.I like how you italicised those couples of lines. It really gives a more intimate feeling, like Seamus is actually talking to Dean. That last part with the funeral was too sad. It was like getting closure, like Seamus having to say that Dean was gone with a sense of finality.And that last sentence of the section was like a punch in the gut. Truly heartbreaking.

The second section: This must have been the hardest section for you to write. The first section was slightly disorienting as we got thrown into that whirlwind of pain without any warning, and this gave more context into the how and the why. I wish it hadn't been that way though. It's certainly must have been harder, with it being so sudden. And you know what makes it worse? I bet they were prepared for this during the war. But after it got over, I'm sure they were so relieved that they had both survived it. I'm sure they were thankful. And I'm sure the edgy anxiety and the possibility of losing the other would have subsided greatly. After that the loss, especially at the hands of death eaters, would have been the hardest blow? Because they already rejoiced about coming out of it alive, if you know what I'm getting at. Also, I like that Seamus is flying, and I love how you've written him here. The numbness, the detached attitude. I think it's a good distraction, but in the end the pain is ever present.

The last section was something else. I spoke about finality and closure in the first part, right? This section was actual acceptance. I love that Luna was with him, and everything was just sort of falling in place. The visual imagery here is simply lovely. So picturesque! And I like how Luna reassures him and comforts him through this as well. She's a constant, isn't she? I loved the last two lines the most! It's nice to see that he's finally ready, but it's also the hardest thing to do. And those lines were gorgeous in this context.

Back on the more general front, I love the flow of this piece. It was very floaty and relaxed, but very, very painful to ready. I hope that makes sense.It was an easy read because the writing was great, but it was difficult on emotional terms. I also loved, in particular, that repeptition (tears heal). It was so very Luna, and I believe it's very true. Your descriptions too were lovely. I think it was instrumental in this piece.

If there's any CC, its that you've mixed up your who/whom in a few places, and that I feel that the second section could have been clearer and a little more explanation might have been nice.

I hope this wasn't too all over the place and weird. I'm still collecting my emotions. Great work, Jess. I loved it! ♥

PS- I hope I'm first. I've been typing for a while.

Author's Response: WHERE TO BEGIN WITH THIS REVIEW?! you went to town on it my word. I /love/ it! ♥

aw, what a kind sentiment! I feel like I will definitely return this favour (I was also thinking of making us graphics for our profiles. I'll probably do that later.). you've been great to work with too! go gryffies!!

I'm glad you liked the use of the word. when I first got given it I was immediately inspired and knew that I wanted to grasp the emotion of it rather than to just use the physical word. I feel as if it's most poignant in the first section than the later ones but, after all, it was a funeral.

so I started writing this seamus/luna friendship and then it hit me I was like 'hang on, are these guys even friends? do they ever talk' and I thought maybe they met through the da or something. THEN I remember dean and the close bond he developed with luna during deathly hallows and I knew that was the way into their friendship. also I feel like the da definitely banded together a lot more in deathly hallows so they probably did actually talk sometimes but yea for sure dean was the catalyst in their beautiful friendship.

HEY HEY this makes me happy because sometimes I feel like in real life I'm not a very emotional person (at least, in terms of grief and loss and those experiences) and I just deal with things on my own in a probably not very healthy way but whatever, that's not the topic of this :p I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE CHECK ME OUT hah but seriously thank you this is a great compliment and testiment to how far I've come on this site in the past year and a bit.

I'm going to skip over replying to each section individually because I feel like I'm writing an essay of my own here, but with general depth I'm pleased I made you feel all thE FEELS. the second section was definitely the hardest to write yes because I had to find some sort of balance in emotion that I wanted - not the rawness of the first part nor the drowsy relief of the third. as you said though this could really do with some editing so I actually explain what went on a little better. (blame 1am me who barely looked over the word doc before putting it in the queue.)

thank you so much for such a heartfelt, honest review! and thank you for taking the time and the effort to go so in depth even though it wasn't necessary or in any way expected.

♥ ♥ ♥

- jess, xo

p.s. nope, third ;) sorry!


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Review #11, by Ravenclaw333 i. can I lay by your side?

21st March 2015:
JESS

HOW DARE YOU

I AM CRYING THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PAINFUL AND HOW DARE YOU KILL OFF ONE HALF OF MY OTP AND

HOW. DARE. YOU.

I'M SO UPSET YOU'RE AMAZING THIS BROKE MY HEART. SHATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES. MAKE IT RIGHT AGAIN PLEASE

Author's Response: I'LL MAKE IT RIGHT AGAIN WHEN YOU DELETE THE ENDING TO CHAPTER 16 OF PFI OH MY GOD /ROSE/

HONESTLY THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS REVIEW IS GREAT I LOVE CAPSLOCK TYSM AYY

SORRY FOR DESTROYING YOUR HEART

- JESS, XO


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Review #12, by TreacleTart i. can I lay by your side?

21st March 2015:
Hi Jessica!

So upon seeing this I knew I had to read it immediately! Forgive me if this review seems to be rambling, but I'm a bit excited about what I've just read! It was beautiful. The first part particularly. Your descriptions read like poetry. The lines glide smoothly through my mind as the story progresses. The feelings start high, crescendo, and then taper off. Seriously, this is a short story, but it says so much! You are one seriously talented writer and I sincerely look forward to reading more!

To the pairing of Dean and Seamus, I always assumed when reading the series that they were together, so I always am excited to see others interpretations of that!

I also loved that Luna is the one who comforts Seamus. The fact that she is able to retrieve him from the brink of despair is a beautiful thing.

Also, good use of your word for the challenge! I like that you incorporated the general feeling instead of trying to place a random word in there somewhere!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: hi kaitlin! thanks a lot for this review, it's great to have some feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :)

at first I wasn't sure what pairing I wanted to write this for but then I realised dean/seamus slotted in perfectly. honestly, I think they could've been together in canon and it would have been BEAUTIFUL hallelujah.

luna is the exact type of person seamus needed through dean's death. the understanding, quietly optimistic and comforting girl rather than someone who might've been more direct and in his face. she comes by the natural delicacy required for helping someone in seamus' position.

ahh and thank you! especially considering lachrymose is such a weird word to EVER come up in conversation naturally I decided immediately I wanted to explore the tone and feeling the word evokes instead.

- jess, xo


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