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Reading Reviews for All the Queen's Men
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FallenBritt remus, her companion

11th June 2015:
LILY REMUS xD

Ok Yes love your view of them. Like honestly How do you do this you so nailed Lily for me I just ughhh, ya know (not really but yes perfection). The simplicity of this chapter was great but may I just say how evil you are to incorporate such a sweet moment of Soul’s day just to destroy my emotions with it at the very end … EVIL. In case you were wondering I’ll say. Mk since you know I think you are evil in the best way of course, I shall let you know my favorite part her as well.

“Their relationship was never crackling fire or thunder and lightning. It was not loud or flashy or fierce. It was steady, constant, unfailing. It was the mountain stream that flows regardless of its surroundings: down the hills, past the rocks, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, but always moving.”

I think it is just paints a good picture because not all friendships are flashy by any means. Just like your author’s note said it is the few pivotal moments and honestly those are what make a friendship last at times. Adore your writing can’t wait to see what you come up with for Sirius and Lily.

Brittany (House Cup 2015- Gryffindor)

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Review #2, by Tonks1247 remus, her companion

11th June 2015:
Well. I think I’ve fallen in love with Lily and her relationship with these boys and this story and how you present it and everything. You are so good at illustrating these relationships, and how they’re so different and mean such different things to both involved. It’s really sweet to see, and I think it may help that I kinda sorta adore Remus as well…

Anyways. I think you pick some of the best moments to write for Remus and Lily. You pick ones that are significant and that really define their relationships. I get a good feel for their relationship and how they do depend on each other, as they’re both alone in a world full of people. You also do well illustrating how their relationships and lives outside of the library are something entirely different.

“Instead they sat in silence, hiding away in the place where the rest of the world could not touch them.”

Honestly, I love how the library is their safe haven, a place where nothing else matters, even if the other’s group of friends is half the whole problem. It goes along with how they’re comfortable with silence. It doesn’t really get awkward between them and their able to chat or do homework and just be, without the expectations.

I think the one thing that really tripped me up just a little (or enough to break my heart all over again since that Severus chapter…) was the All Souls’ Day and the praying. At first, I was questioning why that was a significant moment for Lily and why she was sharing it with Remus. Then I got to the end and the fact that it’s November 2 of 1981 and I just…It was so cruel. It was bittersweet and just brilliant!

Now I have two kinda nitpicky things in the same area:

“The majority of Hogwarts students seemed believe going to the library would give them dragonpox, but both Remus and Lily voluntarily spent time there.” –There needs to be a ‘to’ after ‘seemed’ and dragon pox is two words

Really, this was quite fantastic! Cannot wait for Sirius’ chapter to come out! This has been soo good!

And I’m leaving off with two of my favourite quotes…

“It’s hard to be alive, sometimes.”

“I’m tired of having something to prove and I’m tired of losing people, that’s all.”

--Mikaela
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-

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Review #3, by FallenBritt severus, her childhood

11th June 2015:
SNAPE AND LILY!!!

So you won me over already because I mean honestly some of my favorite stories to read are Snape and Lily clearly. So many feelings here oh my goodness it was all ok at the start then you started to play with my heartstrings. I love how you portrayed their friendship it is honestly how I’ve imagined them many times.

“Friendship does not have to be logical. It is not logic that holds two people together, but something inexplicable, something that runs deeper than reason can touch.”

That is one of my absolute favorite lines in this story because honestly it is so true. Also may I just give you a hand for making me tear up when Snape was the only one that helped Lily grieve her father. I adore this like honestly great job. Couldn’t tell it had been two years of not writing. Cannot wait to read more of your things.

Brittany (House cup 2015-Gryffindor)

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Review #4, by Tonks1247 severus, her childhood

11th June 2015:
Oh my gosh. I think I’m done for. That was just….I need to sit and cry for just a little while…

So. I just recently jumped on the Severus-and-Lily-are-adorable-as-best-friends-and-I-must-read-and-write-about-them train and this just…this was a hard hit to my poor breaking heart. You painted their relationship in such a caring and compassionate way and then hit their breaking point, and then their final interaction….Seriously just killed me.

Their relationship is so adorable. I like the idea of Lily feeling like she’s on top of the world on the swings. I love that it’s the introduction of Severus knowing Lily. It was a really good introduction, because you followed it up and ended it where it all started—something I would have never thought of or imagined. It really was excellent, how you were able to illustrate how important their friendship was, and how it held the test of time.

“It is not logic that holds two people together, but something inexplicable, something that runs deeper than reason can touch.”

Until it didn’t.

You wrote the turning point just as clearly as you did the start of their friendship. It was heart breaking, because Lily’s thoughts were so honestly true.

“It wasn’t the word so much that hurt. A word was just that – a word, nothing more…But betrayal was a different matter.”

These words…they killed me. I know the feeling of having someone use words against you and not having the words be the thing that hurts. Being betrayed with crossing lines and boundaries is the worst thing. Ever. And I think you captured that perfectly. That quote being one of the most truthful and one that really broke my heart.

The whole scene with Lily and Severus at the park in Spinner’s End, and Severus apologizing about her dad and holding Lily as she cried, despite how awkward he probably felt….I’m just a mess! This scene played out in my head and it’s just so tragic. This was it. Followed by Lily on the swings again….Broke my heart!

There was one little thing towards the beginning that I felt was worded awkwardly:

“Her stomach dropped a little each time the swing descended, sending a thrill running through her.” – I would suggested changing the end of the sentence to sending a thrill through her, because having running in there doesn’t read well.

Despite that small thing, this was really excellent! I enjoyed the read and am looking forward to the next chapter!

--Mikaela
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-

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Review #5, by Flower n Prongs remus, her companion

7th May 2015:
I think the choice to make this shorter was a good one. Like you said, Remus was much quieter than his other friends and it fits that the chapter involving him would be less flashy than the last.

The fact that you referred to Lily as a "straight-O student" was great. It is such second nature to refer to somebody as "straight-A", but you made sure that you used the term that fit for their world.

The tie-in of All Souls' Day in their seventh year to the one four years later, when Remus was trying to deal with the after-effects of Halloween 1981 was brilliant.

The way you portrayed Lily and Remus's relationship when it came to his lycanthropy was perfect. Having Lily knowing but not confronting Remus about it is my head-canon as well. Complimenting it with Remus's obvious nerves and insecurity even though they have been friends for years was well done.

I enjoyed reading this. =) I'm looking forward to seeing which person you have next.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you agree - it just seemed much more fitting to the character to keep it short, and when I tried to expand on it, it just didn't feel like it fit.

The thing about All Souls' Day was actually originally going to be used in another one shot that I started a year or so ago and never finished. I can't remember where the idea originally came from, but I was fond of it and decided to use it for this story instead. :)

Thank you so much for your lovely review. I really appreciate it! Up next will be Sirius, which should hopefully be up soon now that finals are finally over!



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Review #6, by Queen of Nerds remus, her companion

17th April 2015:
Oh my god I love this! Those last two paragraphs almost made me start crying in class. You got the dynamic perfectly. I can't wait for the others

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) I'm glad you liked it, though sorry you almost started to cry haha. Hopefully the next chapter should be up soon - now that finals are over I finally have free time again!

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Review #7, by Flower n Prongs severus, her childhood

17th March 2015:
First things first, welcome back! I would have never guessed that you hadn't written in two years when reading this. It flowed beautifully and was very touching.

At first I was not entirely sure what to expect with this. The entirety of her relationship with Severus? Ending still in school, after school, or in the afterlife? There were so many options, but I think the one you selected was perfect for the story you chose to tell.

I like how you chose to begin with a familiar scene, one from canon, and progressed through. Lily expecting that she was going to be in Slytherin was a bit of a surprise, but I can definitely see how she may have made that assumption since the only parts of the magical world she knew were told in Severus's perspective. Her comment about him being so far away after his sorting and almost disappearing was a great way of foreshadowing what was to come.

The fact that you had Lily feel like a bit of an outsider after the Mudblood Incident was something I have not seen very often. The way you described her as being friendly, but not friends with other people was something that is easy to relate to at times.

Most authors have Lily's parents passing away after Hogwarts, so the fact that you made her father die while she was still at school was a nice take on the matter. Since there was nothing sinister about her parents death this was probably the more likely course, short of an accident.

I didn't expect the ending at the park, but you made it work and seem so natural like of course that's what happened.

I will be adding this to my reading list to continue reading. =)


- Rhaenyra
(for the HPFF fundraising review competition)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've always been interested in Lily and Snape's relationship - I feel like there's a lot of different parts to it and I couldn't get to everything here! (Now that you mention it, I'd love to read/write about them in the afterlife...)

In my head, Severus would always push Lily to want to be in Slytherin, haha. ;)

I've read stories where Lily's parents die from magical causes as well as 'ordinary' ones, but for some reason, it felt it fitting to be not magical - nothing sinister, as you said. Keeping her magical world and her Muggle one separate, I suppose.

Again, thank you so much for reading and for the review! Much appreciated! :)


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Review #8, by The Basilisk severus, her childhood

16th March 2015:
Hannah! It's great to ssee you back writing! I've alwaysss loved the way you tell your sstories.

I'm ssslythering out of the pipes for awhile in order to come view thiss sstory and I'm in love.

The way with words you seem to have is something I've always admired. The characterization in this story was absolutely wonderful. The lines, "But neither did Severus. And that was all right." are perfect to me, displaying what I've always headcanoned about these two. That they're a pair of would be misfits but who fit together in their own little way. And then as the story develops and we see Snape change slowly into the person we know just kills me. It's done at such a nice pace in this story - transitioning smoothly between Snapes that I'm suddenly feeling all this sympathy for Lily, oh my.

But instead of the usual hate-filled, sad ending this ended perfectly, I found. It game a nice bit of closure, letting us know that Lily understood that he wasn't the same Snape, but that wasn't stopping her from remembering Potions Snape, which is sweet.

Anway I'm muttering away, probably not makinging much ssense, to be honessst. So I'll head back to my chamber now. Thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity to read your sstory, I'm glad you're back in the game!

The Basilisk

Author's Response: Why thank you! It feels nice to be writing again. :)

That was how I had always pictured them, too - misfits banding together, friends partially by choice and partially by opportunity, but friends nonetheless. And I think Lily always would have distanced herself from him eventually, because their paths were so different, but at the same time, I think she'd be able to appreciate what had once been there.

Thank you for the review! It made plenty of sense and put a big ol grin on my face. :) (PS: I'm also honored to have been reviewed by a basilisk. High praise indeed! ♥)


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