Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Red Silk
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crimson quill A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

28th April 2017:
Capture the Flag


I thought this worked really well, I was really impressed what you've managed to create in such a short amount of words. you manage to develop Dominique's character too. I really like the concept that they were ruling the school, it's basically in my head canon that they would be doing this but it's like dom wants what she can't have almost.

the description of Imogen's hair was amazing, I really enjoyed that imagery that you've created with your words. it really brings the piece to life in my opinion. it's perfectly positioned within the story too. I love Imogen as a character from the short amount of dialogue. she seems interesting and sassy, I loved the wink and the suggestive ending 'are you brave enough?' - oh it's so teasing and it'll really making me wonder what happened next.

did Dominique get the girl?! I really have to know this information now as after only 500 I'm deeply invested in them as a couple. I like how you were able to tie in the name of the story with your story. that's a really cute little touch. you've done a really great job at creating an interesting pairing and using description to engage me in this short chapter! xo

 Report Review

Review #2, by princesslily_36 A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

28th April 2017:
Hey Kapa! Here for the CTF marathon that's been going on!

'The Weasley Veelas' - I really like the sound of that one! The first two paragraphs painted such a picture of Dominique that I somehow associated with the Black family women. I don't know why, lol! Maybe it was how you described her as being oblivious to the attention of all the boys.

I do like the point you made about people thinking htey'll find love only in Hogwarts, kinda similar to high school where people were rushing to tell people how they felt because they were convinced this was their fairytale romance.

Haha, I like Imogen. She has that Slytherin smirk, which I'm guessing is super attractive, and the cockiness that goes with it! Her red hair, and Dominique's thoughts on that was lovely! Really really Lovely. Especially the part where you call it a luxurious robe. The whole thing was very Slytherin.

One of the things that jumped out at me was how quickly the story ended but still how much you managed to convey in just 500 words. And the ending was too perfect for words!

This was an amazing fic, and I am so glad to have had the chance to read it. Thank you!

Cheers,
Ysh

 Report Review

Review #3, by nott theodore A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

17th June 2016:
Hey! I've heard so many amazing things about your writing and so I'm really excited to get the chance to read some of it finally :D

I suspect you've heard this a lot by now in reviews, but I'm impressed by how much plot you managed to pack into just 500 words. It's not easy to tell a story that actually has a proper plot (rather than a kind of experimental piece that explores thoughts and feelings, you know?) in such a short space of time, but you managed it. And I'm really glad that I saw there's a sequel to this story, because I want to know what happens next!

I loved the way that you reinforced how heteronormative society can be (and often is) at the beginning of this piece. All of the boys were just assuming that Dom would be interested in one of them because she hadn't specifically said that she wasn't interested in them. I don't know how intentional that was, but I think it was a great point to make even though it was just really subtle.

It's so true that people seem convinced that their only opportunity to find love is in school, and that afterwards their lives will be over. You managed to capture exactly what school is like with that - especially somewhere like Hogwarts, where they're kind of closed off from the world and real life.

I loved the way that you wrote about Dom's feelings for Imogen; the fact that she just couldn't stop staring at her and had no interest at all in anyone else. The fact that she focused on her hair was great, too - I liked the fact that it was kind of new and perfect to Dom, even though she was used to red hair. That's exactly what it's like when you have feelings for someone - suddenly everything about them (especially when you're young) starts to seem perfect and different. You did a great job of capturing that first real passion and fancy for someone.

Your characterisation of Dominique was fantastic, too - she's really different to a lot of versions of her that I've seen, a lot more passive and kind of dreamy. Then seeing Imogen at the end, ready to challenge her and tease her, was great - they seem like a fantastic contrast and I'm really intrigued to see what might happen between them next!

Sian :)
LGBTQA+ Review Event

Author's Response: Hello Sian!

So, yeah, wow, thanks a bunch for the five(!) reviews, and sorry I'm so late with my responses, this summer just ran away from me completely, haha! Anyway, here I am now! : )

Wow, thanks, it's wonderful/a little scary to hear that you've heard good things about my writing, hehe! And yeah, now that you mention it, people -do- tend to tell me that I'm good at fitting a lot of story into very few words... and honestly, I don't really get it, haha! I mean, for some stories, sure, but do you really think there is a lot of plot in this one-shot? I actually see it more like "a kind of experimental piece that explores thoughts and feelings" as you so succinctly put it... but yeah, I guess there is some story progression, at least. I'm glad you liked it, anyway! : D

Hehe, it's nice to hear that you liked the 'scene setting' with all the boys who are interested in Dom, as some other reviewers have said that it's a little superfluous. I think you make a very good case for why it fits into the story, haha! When I wrote that part I definitely had the whole 'you're too pretty to be a lesbian' that femme lesbians tend to get in mind. Not that Dom necessarily is a lesbian - it's not something I've decided on, really - but boys definitely seem to think that they're (as a gender) entitled to all beautiful women. Eugh.

Haha, yeah, that whole 'school=life' thing is sort of me poking fun at the tendency, both in Canon and in fanfics, for people to find their 'one true love' at Hogwarts, but of course the sense of urgency is at least somewhat true to life too, hehe.

Haha, I think you captured the story perfectly when you write that "That's exactly what it's like when you have feelings for someone - suddenly everything about them (especially when you're young) starts to seem perfect and different." That's so true, and of course that's what's happening here, even though even I myself wasn't completely aware when I wrote this, haha. Like, the whole comparison between Imogen's hair and Weasley hair grew out of looking at Emma Stone on the banner - which I was assigned in the Banner Challenge - and thinking about how her hair was red-but-not-Weasley-red. So I wanted to bring that into the story, but in story of course part of the 'huge difference' is just sort of Dom love-projecting, haha! Thanks for pointing that out! : )

It's good to hear that you like this Dominique. Her whole personality sort of grew out of the picture of Jennifer Lawrence on the banner, so of course she ended up "passive and kind of dreamy", haha! And yeah, she really needs someone a little more active and less in their head, and Imogen is nothing if not that... and hopefully I'll get more inspiration to write about them so we get to see if they work out in the long run or not.

Thanks again for this lovely review - and the other four!

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #4, by Claire Evergreen A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

30th August 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

Wow. You packed so much into such a short story, I love it! You said a lot in just 500 words and you didn't really have to say anything at all. The whole part at the beginning about Dom and Vic and how all the boys were falling all over them because of their Veela blood was perfect. It was so realistic how it was the boys fawning over them and how they all thought that it would be one of them that she ended up with. And that whole part about how "love only can blossom inside the hallowed halls of Hogwarts" was spot on. I think every teenager thinks that high school is the only place for them to ever find 'true love.'

Your descriptions are fantastic in this! I mean, I can picture Imogen so clearly and you only had 500 words to do it. Her hair sounds absolutely gorgeous and I want it really badly. Plus, (this might sound bad) you can so clearly tell that Imogen is a Slytherin, without you even having to say it. She just has that cocky attitude that I think both Gryffindors and Slytherins have and you can tell that she is going after what she wants, no doubts about it. I love her as a character already and it's only been 500 words!

Did I mention that I think it's crazy that you did all this in only 500 words?

This is amazing, I'm so glad we swapped so I got to read it! I'll definitely have to check out your other oneshot about them!

Claire

Author's Response: Yay, review swapping was so fun! Thanks for the (two!) review(s), Claire!

Hehe, everyone keeps saying how I got so much story into so few words and I'm starting to run out of things to say back, haha. Thanks! I know! This story basically wrote itself - it was based on a dream, actually - and it sort of decided its own perfect length.

And yeah, I definitely remember having the feeling that I had to find true love at age ~sixteen or I'd basically die alone, haha. It's such a fun image to me, all these boys thinking that this is their one shot at getting to be with a part Veela (though Dom and Vic are only what, 1/8 Veela?) as if the Wizarding world isn't super small and they'll keep meeting each other all the time after they quite Hogwarts too. And then, obviously, Dominique isn't interested in any of them, which makes it even sillier!

I think the reason why Imogen is so vivid in this is that it was written for the Banner Challenge, and I had the beautifully recoloured picture of Emma Stone to look at for inspiration. I really love the hair colour that Missatron gave her, it's lovely and pretty much wrote half the story for me. I also got her being a Slytherin from the sly way she's looking over her shoulder, actually, haha. Ah, I hope in the next story I write about these two I'll get more into Imogen's 'cocky attitude' as you write because it's definitely there and a very important part of her character.

(You might have noticed that the description of Dominique herself in Eyes Like Skies isn't as detailed visually at all, but I tell myself that this is because Imogen isn't as visually minded a person as Dom is, and not that it's because I got lazy, haha. : P )

I'm really happy we swapped too, because while I had 'to the end of time' on my reading list I'm super glad I got to experience it now instead of in like a year or whenever I would have finally gotten to it! : P

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #5, by notreallyblonde44 A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

18th August 2015:
Hi FireOpalQueen,

I saw your post in the review tag thread on the HPFF forums, and was intrigued by the summaries of your stories, so I’m here to review :)

Oh my hotness! 500 words and I’m totally invested and shipping DomImogen. Really straightforward plot, build up, and excellent execution at the end with the banter! Your description is luscious, lovely diction all around. I’ve written a few 500-shots myself and people always talk about how hard it is to say a lot in so little time. And that’s really true! But if you experienced that, I cannot tell. This 500-shot is ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ good. I need to know if she was brave and, if so, just how brave she was, ahh!

I also totally love this line: “that love only can blossom inside the hallowed halls of Hogwarts.” - kind of a modern twist on a famous Jane Austen quote. Oh and the comparison of the hair really sold it for me. So yeah, good stuff here haha. I’ll have to check out your other work, I enjoyed your writing a lot :)

Best,
Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Thanks a lot for this review (and for even coming back and doing one more, wow)! : )

It's great that I managed to make you ship 'DomImogen' (or maybe 'Domogen'?) with this little one shot. I loved writing it, and when capturing the dream that the characters came to me in I definitely focused more on the language than on a complicated plot structure. These two characters come to me in short but crystal clear scenes that I just write down and post, haha. And I actually didn't find it hard to get the story into just 500 words - it landed about there all by itself.

And aaah, you writing that "This 500-shot is 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' good." is one of the best compliments I've ever gotten for a story here, you're making me blush! : )

As for the Austen 'quote with a twist'... huh. It certainly wasn't a knowing reference, but I guess I might have channelled Miss Jane a bit there, yeah. And haha, everybody loves the hair comparison. I wrote in another response that it's sorta the 'heart' of this story - like, it's obviously what I had the title refer to, for example...

Oh, and I've actually just finished a second story about these two, which I'll put in the queue first thing tomorrow, so you'll have your chance to see whether Dominique was brave or not, haha. I'm so touched that you wanted to read more of my writing, and when the next story - named 'Eyes Like Skies', by the way - goes up you'll have the chance to read some more. : )

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #6, by cherry_pop94 A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

20th July 2015:
Hello! Just going on a round of random reviews and thought this looked really interesting!

The way you describe Imogen's hair is absolutely magnificent. I could really picture it and how completely breathtaking it must be. I loved when you described it as a luxurious robe - that seems to fit so well with the old pureblood name and Slytherin house.

You've packed a ton of emotion into such a short space as well. Lately, I've been really into reading really short stories (under 1000 words). When they're done well, they are absolutely breathtaking. And this was well done.

Thanks for sharing this!

Stefanie

Author's Response: That random review thing is so nice and thoughtful of you, Stefanie! I definitely appreciated mine!

And yeah, I definitely thought of old money Slytherin family-ness when I described Imogen's hair as a luxurious robe! Her hair was really easy for me to envisage as well, as this story was written for the banner challenge so I had Emma Stone's pretty red mane to look at while I wrote, haha!

I love the challenge of writing short stories like this, and because you have so little to work with to get something across. It really has to be very emotional I think, because there's no room for plot, really, so it just has to be a slap o' feelings to punch the breath out of the reader, so to speak, haha. Wow, that was me trying to build on your use of the word 'breathtaking'.

Anyway! Thanks for reading! I hope I'll write more super short stories for you to read some day! Have you checked out my other 500 word story, Stolen Moments? I don't think it's as good as this one, honestly, but it could be worth a read, haha! : P

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #7, by jessicalorewrites A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

17th June 2015:
hey! jess here, reading and reviewing so that I can (finally lol) get the results out for the diversity challenge. the results should be out within the next couple of days so keep your eyes peeled over on the forums!

plot/written value:
a very short oneshot but I liked the way you broke it up into 6/7 line pieces with the line breaks: it sort of made it seem longer in that essence? but wow you managed to fit so much into this even though it's just over 500 words!! I'm seriously impressed. it's always difficult to write to such a tight word count. there's not so much an action-filled plot here obviously but regardeless what plot there was weaved well through the story and made me antsy to know whether imogen would recipricate dom's feelings or not. I like that the ending is SORT OF ambiguous still too ya know? and the challenging tone that imogen ends it on. I think this could have a wonderful sequel..

characters:
what a rather unique portrayl of dom, this was interesting! I've erad a few before where she's queer but that typically goes hand in hand with a brash nature, yet here she seems more calm and beautifully ethereal rather than bossy and moody. it was a nice spin, given that she is also in the closet still. I'd love to know more about her character though as there's not much sense of who she is or what she cares about other than imogen. then again, it's a short piece with a romantic centre so I can't really complain haha. I liked the reference to imogen wanting to reform slytherin house.

diversity:
I thought this explored the difficulties of a heteronormative world well, with all the boys fawning at dom's feet in spite of the fact she's not interested. I also thought there were some nice subtle touches on her wanting to repress the homosexual feelings she was experiencing, which from what I know is fairly standard for questioning/people who are only just coming to grips with their sexuality. I'd love to find out how imogen being born to a pureblood family would affect their views on a (possible) same-sex relationship.

favourite line/bit:
"she’s studying imogen: her every gesture and mien, the way her red silk hair dances as she moves" idk I just really loved the red silk reference and thought it sounded really lovely
- jess, xo

Author's Response: Wow, I'm so late with replying to all your Diversity Challenge reviews, ooops. I'm having quite the busy summer, but now I have access to a computer with a keyboard and a bit of actually /free/ free time so here I go!

I love all the reviews you left me (and others!) for this challenge, because they're so detailed and helpful. But with this one I read it and went "Wait, what!?" when I read "but wow you managed to fit so much into this even though it's just over 500 words!!" because I was like "No, it's /exactly/ 500 words, isn't it?" and then I checked and it turned out there was some sort of editing problem but the count is back as it should be now so thanks for inadvertently pointing this out, haha!

But for the actual content of that sentence, yeah I guess I fit a lot of story into a small amount of words, but as I think I've mentioned somewhere before it actually didn't feel like I was pushing the word count or anything when I wrote this. The story is sort of a vignette, and as such this felt like the perfect length for it. I'd love to write a sequel to it one day, though. I think Imogen is /open/ to reciprocating Dom's feelings, but isn't quite there yet so yeah I guess it's still a bit ambiguous, haha. It'd be interesting to explore, yeah...

The characterisations of Dom and Imogen came a lot from the banner. I mean, I pretty much just put my first impressions of them based on the pictures and that's the story, haha. Which probably is why Dom's character is a bit... one dimensional in the story. And also why she's so ethereal and what-have-you. But if I'm breaking form, then all the better, haha! But I actually have a pretty good feel for what Dom would be like other than caring about Imogen so if that sequel ever comes to pass you'll see then I guess...

And seeing as you wrote "I'd love to find out how imogen being born to a pureblood family would affect their views on a (possible) same-sex relationship." I guess I'll have to deal with that in the possible too, haha.

I'm happy that's your favourite line too, because I was afraid that it was a bit too cliched, heh. Overall, thanks for this thoughtful and inspiring review! If I ever write that sequel I'll be sure to let you know! : )

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #8, by SunshineDaisies A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

12th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Hufflepuff

What a lovely read! Your words flowed beautifully here, which suited the sort of dreamy quality of the piece very well. I also liked how it sort of shifted throughout the story. It starts out as dreamy as Dominique is, but it ends with an almost startling return t reality. It's fantastic. I love the portrayal of Dominique here. You didn't have too many words to work with, but you got her character across so well! I have to say the same for Imogen. She had about three lines and that was all I needed to grasp her character!

Really, really excellent work!

Author's Response: Yay for having my stories called 'lovely', it's my favourite English adjective, haha! I also really tried to play with story mood in this piece, so it's great that it came across so well. Like, first we have how the world/school sees Dominique, then we have Dominique herself, and then we have Imogen, and each part corresponds to a mood corresponds to a character/collective, if you get what I mean. And with Dominique as the main character, I really worked at getting her to come across as much as possible.

As for Imogen's character coming across so strongly, I actually sort of 'cheated' with her. I based her on the character Reagan from MTV's Faking It, which means she comes sort of pre-conceptualised, so to speak. I chose Reagan because the girl on the banner sort of reminded me of her, and then I named her Imogen because it has sort of the same name-flavour as 'Reagan', in my opinion, haha. The "Hey, Veela girl!" is actually a shoutout to Reagan's "Hey, shrimp girl!", haha.

But yeah, thank you so much for the /lovely/ review, haha! I try, haha. : P

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #9, by LadyL8 A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

12th June 2015:
Hello There. I'm here for the house cup.

So this was interesting. I always find it so fascinating when people writer for the Every Word Counts Challenge, because I'm amazed by how much you guys manage to get across in only 500 words. I feel like you really captured Dominique as a character. I felt like I could place her - tell what kind of girl she is. And I like this little obsession she has with Imogen (that's a beautiful name, by the way), and that she's got the red hair (no one escapes that curse, it seems :P ). I believed it, and that's the most important thing of all. Dominique could easily have appeared arrogant, snobby or maybe even shallow, but she didn't because you added this certain element of doubt, of insecurity... Imogen. It was beautiful, and I really liked it. I think you the challenge justice, and I'm excited to see what else you've written once the HC is over.

Thanks for letting me come by. I'm sorry this is short, but it's the HC so I can't leave long reviews. Anyway, have a great day and an amazing weekend. I really liked the story, and I really loved your characterisation of Dominique.

Hugs

Lotte

House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Hello there, yourself! Reviewing events always tends to bring new readers to this story, haha. It's always a good idea to have a few 500 stories to draw readers in, heh. You're very welcome back once the House Cup is over!

I actually find it surprisingly easy to write at 500 words' length for some reason - but I struggle with writing longer stories so it evens out.

And oh, I love the name 'Imogen' too. It's so British and upperclass-y and unique while still having an interesting sort of groundedness to it. Sort of like the character, haha. You also write "Dominique could easily have appeared arrogant, snobby or maybe even shallow" which is great, because that was something I wanted to sort of hint towards in the opening of the story, and then subvert with this dreamy and ethereal Dominique who has this secret obsession, so to speak.

It's also great that you say that you believed this story, because I'm a little worried that it's, like, /too/ dreamy and ethereal and such, and therefore not very believable. So thanks for that! I'm so happy that you liked the story, and as I said, you're very welcome to come back at a later date! : )

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #10, by Roisin A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

11th June 2015:
Hello!

So it was interesting reading this story after "Just Breathe" and knowing your headcanon about Veela having different relationships to gender and sexuality (love that, by the way). I definitely saw that come through here, and in something of a novel way. There's a lot of discussion of Imogen's physical beauty, but it's somewhat beyond just 'she's pretty.' Dominique's admiration of her appearance has a very sensual and visceral kind of quality. Like not just looking at something pretty, like red hair, but a kind of engagement based admiration. I mean, I think that's true of a lot of attraction, but a reader could interpret Dominique's relationship with beauty to have a uniquely Veela edge to it.

I'm trying to figure out whether I want to imagine this story as in-universe with "Just Breathe." The downside being in-universe is that her and Imogen don't work out. But maybe that's okay. I mean, most people don't stay with their first ever girlfriend forever, and Imogen's personality (while interesting) isn't necessarily something "Just Breathe" Dominique would want to or be able to stay with forever.

OR MAYBE I'M OVER THINKING THIS. Either way, this was lovely :)

xoxo
Roisin
House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

Author's Response: Hello again, Roisin, it's always lovely to have a review from you show up on my page!

Yes, this story is basically 'Kapa's Veela Headcanons - The Story', haha. Growing up around so much beauty, I think the Delacour-Weasleys (and other part Veelas, for that matter) got sort of blase about 'just beauty'-beauty. Like, there has to be something unique about a person for them to fall for that person. I think that's a big part of why Victoire went for Teddy - like I explore in Just Breathe he offers a sort of freedom from beauty norms by being able to look however he wants. I read a great essay once about Tonks being such a good character because she could use her powers to look like a supermodel but instead she uses it to make silly faces (and do great disguises in her work as an Auror) and now I'm rambling...

And for Dominique here, it's this kind of "engagement based admiration", as you say. Like, for Dominique it's almost more about how it would be like to /interact/ with Imogen's hair than how it looks, even though it's the looks that of course 'caught her eye' so to speak... So yes, I definitely see what you mean and you put it into words better than I could, so yay!

I am, however, pretty sure that this story isn't set in the same story as Just Breathe, seeing as JB-Dom went to Beauxbatons and this Dom is in Hogwarts... : P (And also they're represented by different people on the banners so obviously they are different people - but maybe that's just how I think, haha.) So yeah, maybe you were over thinking that a bit, hehe. I definitely think that JB-Dominique would be exhausted by Imogen, at least in the long run - but I think Imogen would make a great friend/lover to JB-Victoire. Hm, maybe she and Teddy have a poly relationship... : P

And I think JB-Dominique would like her well enough in, you know, smaller doses. : P

Anyway, thanks so much for another amazing Roisin Review (TM). : )

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #11, by Dojh167 A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

6th June 2015:
Hello, Sam here again! Have you noticed that I kind of can't stay away from your writing? Cause I am.

I was definitely eager to see another of your renditions of Dominique, as you have done such beautiful work with her in Just Breath. And once again, you've made her really hit home for me. Are you just trying to write my spirit animal here?

I'm almost surprised that this story is only 500 words. It feels much longer. It even looks much longer! You've made a really good use of your words here.

I noted a few grammar mistakes, such as "Now there’s boys everywhere" there's should be there are. And in "All of it that doesn’t go to her school work goes to – Her" the dash is grammatically necessary. I get the effect you are trying to create. Perhaps ellipses would work better. Also, the first word after a dash shouldn't be capitalized. I think you could benefit from a beta to look at your grammar and sentence structure. There were also a couple errors that I think you would have caught yourself with a more through edit.

I liked how you described Dominique's fascination with Imgoen's hair, especially in comparison with the typical Weasley red. It really helped highlight how truly special Dominique sees her.

Agh, when Imogen looked back at Doinique in the great hall I had all the feelings!

Imogen is so... Mercoful, mirthfl, magnificent! The really makes me want to keep reading and see how Dominique reacts and which of her fantasies come true. At the same time, ending with that bolb dialogue gives your story a really nice button.

Keep up the good work! As always, I love your characters and concepts. Be sure to give as much attention to your editing as well. =)

Sam.

Author's Response: Haha, I have indeed noticed that it's getting hard to keep that 'Unanswered Reviews' on 0 nowadays. It's always a nice surprise to log in and see a new review from you! : )

I'm happy that you like this rendition of Dominique as well. This one came to me in a dream, so I sorta feel like I can't take as much credit for her as I can for the other one, though of course the dream was in a sense of my own making too... With the Next Gen I generally build my ideas for their characters around their names, so maybe you're a very 'Dominique' person?

I actually didn't set out to make this a 500 word story (as opposed to 'Stolen Moments', which also sort of suffers from the limitation), but when I realised that the idea I had landed thereabouts when I had it all written out, I made a few edits to make it a round 500. I think the story seems longer because it is the length it's 'supposed' to be, if you get what I mean?

Thank you for the grammatical pointers! Would you believe me if I told you that both the grammatical errors you pointed out was a result of extensive editing, rather than the result of lack of editing? : P

Let me explain myself. Seeing as I had to cut the text down to 500 words exactly, I went for "there's" in the sentence about there being boys everywhere. I found sources (like the Cambride Dictionaries Online) that told be the word could be used with a plural in speaking and informal writing, and I went "Eeeh, informal enough" and put it in to get the word count down. After you pointed it out, though, I've decided to instead cut the "almost" from the opening sentence. That way the sentence about boys gets grammatically more correct, and I get a stronger opening sentence. So thanks for that!

As for the dash before "Her"... well. I actually took it out and put it back in several times during the editing process. I know it's grammatically weird, but I think the sentence looks much better and more impactful with the dash... As it stands in the edit that's in the queue now I deleted the dash, but kept the capital H in "Her", because that's how I imagine Dominique thinking of Imogen. Almost reverently, you know? And honestly I might put the dash back again because I really think it looks much better. But even if I do I'm thankful for you pointing it out!

(I also looked the text over and fixed some other minor things, like changing "Imogen rise" to "Imogen rises"...)

I really like Imogen a lot too! I think she and Dominique will have a very... intense relationship. I'm definitely open to writing more about them some day, if I get a good enough plunny. Their difference of personality really has the potential of creating drama that would put Dominique's languid and romantic daydreams to shame - but hopefully it'll end well and they'll enjoy the ride!

Thanks a lot for the praise and the concrit! I hope I'll soon have a new story up for you to read! : )


 Report Review

Review #12, by Unicorn_Charm A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

19th March 2015:
~HPFF Fundraiser Review~

Hiya!

My headcanon of Dom is that she is not straight, so I definitely had to take a look at your story. I absolutely loved it! You could really feel how smitten Dominique was with Imogen. She had the description of her hair down to an art form, so you could tell that she spent many hours staring at her. I wonder if anyone else had ever noticed that? I mean, besides Imogen herself.

I loved the ending of it. I just loved how Imogen basically challenged her to make a move, instead of just watching her from afar. It makes you wonder if she would channel some of that Gryffindor courage, or if she would continue to only watch her. I loved, "She wants to reply, something Ravenclaw witty and quick..." :D I thought that was really cute.

This was fantastic! I really, really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Aaah, more non-straight Dom headcanons! It seems I really hit upon something with this story - maybe it was the real Dom I saw that night when I was falling asleep and this story came to me, hahaha.

I think Dominique is actually pretty good at hiding her besotted gazing at Imogen, but I also think that some of the more perceptive Hogwarts kids noticed. Dom really DID spend a lot of time looking at her...

And aah, it's nice to see that it wasn't JUST the part about Imogen's hair that people like (not that anyone said that, hahaha)! I definitely think Dom will act on it, but maybe less because of her presumed inherited Gryff courage and more because she knows she actually has a shot, heh. Not that Dom is a coward, but she's definitely careful. And I don't think she believed she had any proof whatsoever that Imogen wasn't straigh before the... confrontation, haha.

In short, thank you very much for this lovely and enthusiastic review! : ) I really enjoyed writing this story, and I really enjoy all the nice reviews!

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #13, by Beeezie A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

19th March 2015:
Ooooh, I liked this. In my head canon, Dominique is always, always queer, so it always feels weird to me to read a Dominique who’s straight. When I saw your story, I had to read it.

I loved this. Your prose was really lovely; the way Dominique described Imogen’s red hair as opposed to Weasley red hair was vivid and sensual. I could almost see Imogen’s hair, and honestly, by the end, I was a little jealous.

I also really enjoyed the juxtaposition between Dominique’s daydreaming about her and the actual interaction at the end of the story. I got this sense of elegance and dreaminess from Dominique’s thoughts - almost like I imagine people saw Fleur, and presumably Victoire and Dominique herself. But the real Imogen was a little bit of a firecracker - I loved it.

Amazing job. :)

- Branwen

(Reviewed for the HPFF Fundraiser - Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Aaah, thanks for this kind review and for the favourite, omg!

I actually don't have any fixed view on any of the Next Gen kids, and I'm writing another story where Dom is actually straight... But I'm happy I could deliver with this on at least, ahahaha!

People generally seem to like the part about Imogen's hair which is good, because I kinda see it as the 'heart' of the story, and it was what first popped into my head when I got the idea!

And yeah, Imogen is REALLY a bit of a firecracker - possibly more of one than Dom is really prepared for, haha! But I think Dom would happily learn to handle that if it meant she got to be with her 'dream girl'.

Again, thank you so much! I'm very flattered by the favourite thing!

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #14, by krazyboutharryginny A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

18th March 2015:
Woohoo! I love me some gay girls ;D being one myself, it always makes me super happy to find fics with some representation!
This is nicely written. I wish it was longer! You should think about writing another fic set in the same universe.
I especially liked the paragraph talking about Imogen's red hair; how it differs from Weasley red hair, and the ways that Dominique wants to touch it.
There were some very nice details in this fic (like the paragraph I mentioned above) and I really think you have a lot of potential here!
Great job!
-Kayla (for the HPFF review challenge)

Author's Response: Yay! It means a lot that someone who's gay herself approves of my story! And yeah, it is pretty short... but that was what came to me in this sort of, like, vision when I was going to sleep one night. I don't know if I actually could write more about these two, because it was like they just let me get a glimpse into their lives, but I don't actually KNOW them the way I know most of my characters, if that makes sense... But I'll definitely think about it. Maybe they'll pop back into my head some day.

So yeah, thanks a lot for this nice review!

/Kapa


 Report Review

Review #15, by milominderbinder A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

17th March 2015:
Hiya! Dropping a review for the HPFF fundraiser review contest!

This was just adorable! The whole thing had such a sweet and almost dreamy feel to it, and was so romantic. I really love your Dominique - especially the fact that she has reddish hair, which is actually my headcanon for her too ^_^ and Imogen was such a great OC! Even in this relatively short space we got such a sense of her personality, which was especially cute since it was through the view of Dom who was so besotted. All the little details, like Dom imagining plaiting and then tugging on Imogen's hair, were so well done. And the ending! So freaking adorable. I loved how it was left kind of open but with all the possibilities ahead of them. I can so picture these two making the most adorable couple.

This was just overall very sweet and dreamy and adorable, and a pleasure to read!

~Maia

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! This story is surprising me by how popular it became! Partly because my picture of fandom is that no one cares about femmeslash (obviously wrong!), but partly because it felt like I just thrrew something together based on a moment of very clear inspiration when it comes to this story. I actually didn't even think I captured Dom's emotions very well at all, but it seems I actually did something right, haha! I agree that Dominique and Imogen have all possibilities open for the future. And they'd DEFINITELY make a great couple, Imogen could spice Dom's life up and Dom could bring Imogen on these beautiful mind adventures (and real adventures, once they've left school)!

Again, loads of thanks!

/Kapa


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login