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Reading Reviews for Gathering Moments
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unicorn_Charm A Glimmer of Light

19th March 2015:
~HPFF Fundraiser Review~

Hiya!

Sirius is the fictional love of my life, so I had to take a peek at your story. Arg this just killed me. You really did such a wonderful job of showing how hopeless and horrible it must be to relive the worst moment of your life. Poor Sirius; made to believe James was alive, only to have that ripped away and see him die all over again. That was so horrible. :(

But I loved how you really had him hold on to the fact that he was innocent. We know from canon that that was what kept him from truly going insane, and I thought you portrayed that really well here. I could easily see this being a missing moment that could have been canon.

This was an excellently done one-shot. I truly enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

Thank you so much for reviewing :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this story!


- Sophie


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Review #2, by TreacleTart A Glimmer of Light

19th March 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for a review contest that's going on in the forums. The house that wins the contest earns £1 per review donation the HPFF's fundraiser.

So that being said, let's start the review! So this was a really interesting story! In the beginning I was certain you were talking about Draco because of the sentence "His blood had always been in the way." It was quite the surprise when I finally realized it was Sirius!

The way you wrote his feelings and thoughts was brilliant! You can feel his desperation and wanting to prove his innocence. You can also sort of feel the insanity starting to set in.

The nightmare scene with James was so sad! Poor Sirius, doomed to dream about his "brothers" death for the rest of his life. And even worse is the idea that he failed them. He was doing what he thought he needed to do to protect them!

Overall, what a wonderful portrayal of Sirius' time in Azkaban. I was happy to have read it!

~TreacleTart

Author's Response: Hi TreacleTart!


Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed this story :)


Your comment about the fact you first thought the story was about Draco and his blood being in the way really made me think. I guess one could say that wizards coming from old wizarding families such as the Malfoys and the Blacks, could be considered to be restricted by their blood status and their convictions in many ways. How ironic that their status, which they consider to be such an advantage that distinguishes them from the rest of the wizarding community, would become an obstacle to their personal growth and happiness.

How would've thing turned out for Sirius, Regulus and Draco (only to name a few) had they not been born and raised in such a closed elitist environment?


Oh well, I guess I just got lost in my own thoughts again.


Again, merci beaucoup!


-Sophie


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Review #3, by tangledconstellations A Glimmer of Light

19th March 2015:
Hey,

I'm reviewing in support of the HPFF fundraiser over on the forums :)

Sirius' time in Azkaban is something I think about (and write about) often. I think you covered it really well here and this was such a pleasure to read, even though it absolutely broke my heart. There was a real sense of his claustrophobia and his fears, but also the really brave elements of his character shone through too. The whole concept of 'losing your mind' is just heightened even more in an environment like Azkaban. Blurring the edges of his dreams/reality worked really well in this one-shot because it showed us that Sirius is losing that distinction too. Both are as real as the other, and that came across so effectively here.

Your style works so well for the theme of the piece, too. I love that you have Sirius constantly questioning himself, repeating phrases, such as "They were alright. He was alright" - almost to keep him in the here and now. It's really cool. One thing I do wish for is that you had spent a little more time describing the cell more, just to literally build the walls around Sirius and the reader to heighten that trapped feeling. I think maybe a sentence or two should do it, and it would make this piece that much stronger and would be so much clearer to visualise. It's already such a great exploration of Sirius' emotions and how he's coping with Azkaban, so ramping up the descriptions just that little bit more would nail it.

This piece was really heartbreaking and I really enjoyed reading it. I feel like you've done Sirius justice here, because all he ever needed in Azkaban was for someone to hear his side of the story. Really beautiful!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!

Thank you for reviewing this story, glad you liked it! :)

I'll definitely be taking a closer look at your work now that you mention it, haha.

About Azkaban, I do agree that I could've been more descriptive about Sirius's cell although I did try to focus on what was going on in his head rather than his surroundings when I first started writing this short piece. Still, perhaps giving a little more information about what Azkaban actually looks and feels like to Sirius would only make this story better now that I think about it. I will consider that piece of advice very seriously.

I'm really happy to hear that you thought Sirius's state of mind and his shattered heart did not completely shove the bold, courageous part of his personality to the side. As someone who is very new to writing I did not want to make him lose his identity by trying to describe a much sadder, darker part of his life.

Again, thank you!

-Sophie


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Review #4, by krazyboutharryginny A Glimmer of Light

18th March 2015:
Hello! ^.^ I was looking for some Sirius-centric fics to review for the HPFF review challenge (as Sirius is my current obsession) and found this one.
Oh my goodness... it's so sad! The topic of Sirius' feelings while in Azkaban is one I avoid thinking about as it's so painful. The relief Sirius felt when he thought James was there with him was palpable, which made you hurt so much for him when he woke up. You made it really clear how much Sirius cared about James. Not only that, you made it clear how much he cared about Harry, which is something lots of fic authors overlook. Nice job!

-Kayla

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this short story of mine. I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

The main reason why I decided to write about Sirius's years in Azkaban was that I felt the topic hadn't really been explored that much in previous fics and I'm happy that, despite the dark and painful nature of it all, you appreciated my dwelling into it a bit more.

About Sirius's love for Harry being included in the story, I did want to make place for it and I'm glad you mentioned it. Because, as much as Sirius was James's best friend, he was also Harry's godfather. As appealing as the whole Marauders thing is and as much of a big rebel young Sirius still was, I do believe that ,in the few years following their graduation from Hogwarts, Sirius had grown up to become a (slighlty more) mature caring and loving godfather. However reckless his confronting Peter was that night he was framed, he did want to be there for his godson. Harry mattered.

Again, thank you so much for reviewing!

-Sophie


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Review #5, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A Glimmer of Light

16th March 2015:
(This review is in support of the HPFF fundraiser)

He stood in the farthest corner of his cell, expecting the next wave of despair and sorrow that would soon crash onto him as they’d feed from his bare, tortured, broken soul. He stood there, hopeless. Minutes and hours passed as he stared at the bars in front of him, empty, his heart shattered in pieces.

Excellent opening for your first story. The description puts me right into the thick of things and my heart goes out to him.

But he was innocent. Despite everything that was said about him, he was just that, innocent.

OH MY GOODNESS. THIS WAS SO GOOD. I have a few tears in my eyes actually. Sirius has always been a soft spot for me because I couldn't handle his death. I honestly didn't see it coming and it broke my heart. I still have the tear stains in my book and have never read his death scene again ever since Harry Potter came out.

I think you hit his character well and the slight intro of James coming in and out was done well. It was so harrowing and in only 900 words you were able to bring a lot of emotion to the table.

Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Oh, that makes two of us: neither did I ever truly get over Sirius's death in OOTP. Don't even get me started about how unfair it is that the poor guy spent the best of his youth in Azkaban, believed to be a traitor, only to escape and get killed by falling through a veil. (Seriously? A veil?! The first man to ever escape Azkaban was killed by a veil?)

Do you even realize he actually spent more years of his short life rotting in that awful place than he did being with James and the rest of the Marauders?

Well, here I go again. I guess I'll just go back to denying the department of mysteries battle ever happened.


Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this first (ever) story of mine. I truly appreciated the input and I'm more than happy to know the emotions I tried to convey with it came through (I was nervous about that part. French being my first language, I didn't know whether or not the words I would use would come out as I would want them to when writing in English.).

Again, merci. Really.


- Sophie


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Review #6, by Flower n Prongs A Glimmer of Light

16th March 2015:
I was browsing through the recently added and recently updated stories list when I stumbled upon this. I have always been a fan of the Marauders and of stories that delve into their lives, so I figured I should give this one a shot and I'm glad I did.

It is a short piece, but the amount of emotion you have managed to insert with such few words is wonderful. The opening paragraph drew me in immediately, because your description made it so easy to imagine what Sirius was thinking, doing (or not doing), and feeling in those moments of staring at the bars. This continues all the way to the end of the story. Your last line ("It was the only glimmer of light left in his world of darkness.") was heart wrenching and beautiful.

At first I was a bit confused with the dash before what James was apparently saying, so it might be clearer if you post those in quotation marks, even though James is a hallucination on Sirius's behalf. His shock after the "Padfoot" and longing for it to be true is so sad, but I'm sure it is exactly how Sirius was feeling at the time.

The only other suggestion I would make would be making the paragraphs at the beginning into longer ones, since it was a bit disjointed. (Although, thinking about it, that may be what you were going for given Sirius's mental state at the time. If that was your intention just ignore this comment!)

I really enjoyed this.

Welcome to HPFF!

- Rhaenyra
(for the HPFF fundraiser review competition)

Author's Response: Hi Rhaenyra,

First of all, I'd like to thank you for reading my (very) short story! Glad you liked it :)

As I'm only beginning this whole fanfiction journey, I'm more than willing to take any advice when it comes to writing... therefore, I was truly thrilled when I first read your detailed review.

Now that you mention it, I do see how quotations mark would make James's quotes clearer. Thank you for that piece of advice.

As for the first few paragraphs, I did try to make it seem slightly more hectic than usual given Sirius's state of mind although I completely understand your point.

Sirius being one of my favorite characters (if not my favorite) and me still grieving over his death in OOTP, I'm more than pleased to see you thought this interpretation of him was rather convincing.

Again, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review this first story of mine!


- Sophie



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