Reading Reviews for 12 Hours
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by merlins beard 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

19th March 2015:
Wow. This is your best work so far. I went through so many emotions while reading this. I never considered writing anything that isn't just chronological...
I don't usually read many one-shshots, yet here you are, making them so exciting that i can't stop myself from reading them. And it's 1 am right now...

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you! I don't think anyone has ever called this my best work before. It got me my highest placement in a challenge yet, though. (2nd) I LOVE writing things that aren't chronological. I got kind of creative with this one, I think. At least I've never seen anyone work toward the middle from both sides before. I'm even more flattered that you liked this so much even though you don't usually read one-shots! I hope that I manage to write some fun ones that you like :)

Thank you so much for this review, and all the others! You are the best!

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Review #2, by AdinaPuff 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

13th March 2015:
Hi Joey!

I've missed this site in my little time off, especially your writing! This was a great read. It's lovely to see Al and Destiny again from your story you wrote for me! And Lysander and Scorpius! I love those two.

This was definitely interesting. I really love the out-of-order sequence going on here and how it meets in the middle at 6 at the end. I understood it the first time, but I reread it jumping around to read it in order also :) I loved it so much. It was great dynamics there. And oh I didn't expect Pansy to be on the other side of that portrait! Definitely interesting. Destiny's awesome too for punching her. That was great.

Lovely one-shot here! I really enjoyed reading it.

-Leigh xxx

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Review #3, by TreacleTart 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

4th March 2015:
Hello There,

I'm here for our review swap!

So I love the concept of a non-linear story, so I was really excited to read this one. I felt that you handled it well for the most part. I did find the ending to be a bit confusing, but I think that had to do with it being so abrupt more than the non-linear pattern.

As to the way you chose to end it. After all of the confusion and struggle that they went through to get out of the house, the idea that punching Pansy in the face was all that had to be done kind of seemed strange to me. I guess it seemed quite abrupt and left me wanting a bit more.

Also, we never really got much explanation as to why they tricked them into coming to the house in the first place. I would've liked a bit more description of what exactly was going on.

I thought that breaking it into the sections the way you did was smart because it was slightly confusing and disorienting, but in a good way. It kind of helped me to feel what the characters were feeling in the story.

Just a couple of nitpicky details...

Do you think the old ‘collapse the chandelier’ trick is too clique?” - Did you mean cliche?

over the head’s of the men. - Take out the apostrophe on heads. It's plural, not possessive.

Otherwise, a really intriguing story. I would love to see you expand on it some, but it definitely tells a full story.

Thanks again for the swap!


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Review #4, by marauderfan 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

1st March 2015:
Hi! I'm here to review for the non-linear challenge (again)!

This was so original. I loved how you worked in towards the middle from the beginning and end - it really intensified the mystery and made each successive section like filling in a smaller and smaller gap. It was such a wonderful use of the non-linear prompt.

I also loved seeing these familiar characters show up again. It's like catching up with old friends! And even though this story isn't primarily character-development-motivated, these little snippets of their actions or dialogue tell a lot about them. They are simple details, and subtle, but make the characters feel real and complex. You're so good at that.

Sooo... What was the literary association really about? Why did Pansy organise all of this? Ahh! I'm so curious haha. But I think just enough is explained that it can be left as a mystery, more or less, and the story doesn't feel incomplete with that left untold. It just keeps up the mysterious vibe that the whole story has. The tone was really well set in this, with that eerie mansion and its labyrinthine halls. I was kind of reminded of The Shining while they were all trying to find their way out of the maze while being pursued haha.

This was so well done! Thanks for entering the challenge! I'll hopefully have the results up next week.

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Review #5, by Aphoride 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

25th February 2015:
Hey Joey! :D So I'm finally here for our swap - sorry it took me so long!

Okay, so because I've already read this, you've probably heard a lot of this before, but I'm going to make you sit through it again anyway because I'm like that :P So I do hope you're sitting comfortably ;) (Major, major kudos to you if you get the reference... :D)

You know how much I love your characters. They're always, always so amazing and so real and so thoughtful, you know - as though they could almost step up and off the page and just walk down a street and no one would look twice. It's such an art, characterisation, and you really do have it down to a tee. It's probably the strongest thing about your writing, and, for me, the most compelling.

I love all of your characters in this, and how different they all are - how they all have their little individual quirks which set them apart - like Destiny having that amazing reaction to the situation, like desperation turning into bravery, and Albus being so pedantic over timing, and Scorpius always being paranoid that people are out to get him :P (Though it's not paranoia if they really are, so the poor guy probably has a reason for it, unfortunately... :P) It's little things like that which most people miss in their characters, but which make them feel so alive.

Also, your dialogue is always so, so good. It feels really natural you know? It's one of those things which makes me so jealous because I hate dialogue with a passion - I'm so bad at it! - but you, like, this is a gift or something, I swear! :P Your characters always sound the right age, the right generation and everything... it's so good! :)

I have to mention that I love the little jokes in this - Huxley and Ginsberg. (Also, I love Allen Ginsberg. And the film they made of him with Daniel Radcliffe. It's so good!) :P

The plot in this was so good - it was almost better with no explanation for Pansy's motives than if there had been a motive, you know, it makes it that much more mysterious and creepy and makes her seem so much more deranged. I loved how it seemed almost random, and the use of the trick to get them there - such a tried and true method, but I loved how Pansy and her gang faked an entire literary association to do it, and how the gang went because they wanted to support their friend. It's so sad that was the result of such a nice gesture... :(

I loved the use of non-linear timeline in this, too. You do it so so well, and really, I have no idea how to do it at all so I'm so amazed by anyone who can manage it at all :P In this it works so beautifully - it heightens everything in it: the horror element, the action element, the suspense in the way we don't quite know what's happened, what's really going on until the end of it, and it's just such a cool idea.

So yeah, basically, as you know, I love this story. It's such a great idea, and such a great story, and your writing is so so good. The genre is perfectly done in this, and your characterisation is as amazing as always :)

So glad we swapped (but then, you know, I always am with you ;D)! :)

Aph xx

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Review #6, by toomanycurls 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

25th February 2015:

I'm pretty intrigued that this story started off as a joke -that makes me quite excited to see how it goes. You should know that I got quite the laugh at albus ship-naming Scoprius and Lysander. I know we do it on the forums but it's funnier to see characters do it.

Having the second and third scene kind of book-end each other is pretty neat. Though, the 11 PM part sounds as if they've left one party and plan to have a night full of more adventures. Oh to be young like that. I'm quite interested in the Helmholtz Literary Association and what they'll do there. I liked what you said about copies (or reads) not having anything to do with quality.

What what wha- he's sending for Aurors? That Helmholtz Literary Association must have been quite wild... And I'm a bit curious about the quotes around literary associates.

Well, at least Lysander has the heebee geebees. I really like continuity between this and your other Scorpius/Lysander story. :D

Is it a maze, or a trap?!?! Curious minds need to know. They're clearly in a fight mode here but I'm anxious to see what brought it on. I really love the way you do action here - it's not overcomplicated but a lot still happens.

Ooh, so Al goes missing. Hrm.

And they found him by 8. I'm going to reorder this and read it :P I love the discombobulated style as it adds to the mystery of the story. I laughed so hard at "What is the functional purpose of that?" - Albus could be in software development.

Part of me wants to visit this madhouse. I'd probably die in there and never get out but it sounds so interesting (I also enjoyed the Winchester Mystery House so I might just like these weird things).

omgomgomg - I did *not* expect it to be her holding them hostage. I applaud the well-timed punch.

This was great - it's such a break from your usual style and I love it. Hats off to you for always stretching yourself and doing awesome things when you do.


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