Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.

25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Bugger

14th August 2015:
Hi Jamie! (Em!) Since these chapters are so short and there's only five, I decided to just write one hopefully massive review for the entire story.

First off, I love how you started this with the two laws of Hogwarts. I thought that was so funny. I have to wonder if everyone really does become and stay friends with the first person they meet on the train. It's a curious law. The Weasley law was even funnier because it's so true.

I think it's so cute how you (Jamie) also have a crush on your best friend and that James Potter was super nice enough to give you some tips on how to ask her out. I thought the picnic was a wonderful grand gesture, and it was very sweet of you to cook for Devyn.

And you were so close to telling her how you feel, too! Gail is such a bad giant squid for interrupting you like that just because she wanted to play. Seriously! Way to ruin the moment, Gail!

But I thought it was really nice how Devyn came to visit you in the Hospital Wing and helped you physically complete the homework you were so diligently working on in your head. I also love how your internal monologue completely breaks through the fourth wall by including the readers in your speech, it's so fun to read!

I thought it was really cool how you trades a rose haw for fairy lights from the fairies, Jamie. That was so sweet of you. And a wheel of brie!? That's hilarious and reminds me of the She's the Man movie, lol. Except they had Gouda, not Brie. Although, are you sure you want to date this Devyn? I'm starting to have my doubts about her. You went through all the trouble setting up fairy lights and then are trampled by Gobstone spectators and all she cares about is the cheese? Really? I don't know, Jamie. I certainly hope things go better for you in the next chapter.

Okay, I am a little confused about what happened. First Jamie is talking? Trying to ask out Devyn finally, and out of a nowhere a house elf starts giving his own declaration of love (as practice). Um, well, I hope that goes well for him.

But even so, I don't think things could have worked out any better than they did. I adored how Devyn tricked Jamie into confessing his feelings and how her excuse was that she couldn't wait for one of his grand gestures to go right. Because as great as they were, they always seemed to go wrong. So maybe she's not so bad after all and my doubts were in vain.

Hope you enjoyed that kissing scene, Jamie!

Jamie (Em!), this story was so cute and I absolutely adored it! It was just perfectly fluffy and sweet. Although I am curious to read some more of these monologues, Kluge sounds like an interesting character!

Anyway, (directing this to Em now) I just wanted to stop by and bestow some belated House Cup love on you and thank you for all your help this year! There were definitely some points where I don't think I would have gotten through all of it without you!


Author's Response: HEY NIX.

What chapters? Oh well, forgetting that. Thanks, yes. The laws are phenomenons observed widely among the student population of Hogwarts in this generation although most people haven't put a name to it.

I do, you know. I do have a crush on Devyn and Gail knew about it, obviously I told her, and she still did that thing. Gail. I love her, but sometimes. . . Well, I love her all the time.

Yes, alas, I set up everything and it was ruined by a crowd of Gobstones fans and then so she didn't get to see any of that which is such a bummer.

What's a scene? Anyway, yes, I did enjoy that. Thank you.

Thank you for this letter. I do enjoy them. They're fun. Like unsolicited advice from strangers that aren't unwelcome.


Nix, you're the best and thank you so much for this review!!! You, yourself, were a superstar in it.

 Report Review

Review #2, by 800 words of heaven But I have another plan

12th August 2015:

Jamie, you are a very smart person. Perhaps you can answer my question. Why does it take me approximately the same amount of time it takes for a new sun to form to read the next chapter of your internal monologue? Why? Because I missed you. And you were right, as you mentioned in this chapter, I was incredibly excited to see what plan you had.

I hope you and Gail work things out. She seems a little crotchety at the attention you give Devyn. This may be partly your fault since you jab of Gail's hearing organ about her. Maybe another conversation topic is in order next time? Or perhaps just introduce Gail and Devyn (have they met already? I can't remember)! I'm 99% sure the two of them will plot your untimely demise :P

Aww Jamie! You are just too romantic! I am just so impressed with the effort that you've put in - most of the romance is in that, really. And no! Gobstone fanatics have stampeded your plan! But it seemed at the end that Devyn may at least have been impressed by the brie? This is completely understandable. Brie is impressive.

This is so lovely and I am excited to read the final (did I read that right? I think so.) chapter! Hopefully it won't take the building of another sun for me to get to it!

PS: Is Luna Lovegood or Rolf Scamander taking on mentees at the moment? I've heard that they are one of the most eminent names in contemporary magizoology. I feel like they could teach you lots about the field without forcing you to change yourself one bit. Just a thought...

Author's Response: 800! Hullo!

Am I? You think? Aww, thanks. But, ah, yes, your question.

Why? Errmm. I'm not sure, but that's alright! I have missed you, too, you know. You've been such a wonderful pen pal.

Yes, well, Gail can be a crabby one at times. I guess I shouldn't say 'crabby.' Snappish? No, that sounds like 'snap fish.' Waspish? Not quite. Errr. Cantankerous, maybe?

My fault?! Yeah, you're absolutely right. I really am sorry about that. I mean, since James was on about that whole 'grand gesture' thing, I've been rather stressed about it. Devyn's. . . I'm doing it again, right. Moving on.

Well, the other day, Devyn did see Gail throw me around a bit. The three of us hang out together occasionally. I'm thinking I should be glad because it hasn't been often enough to go about plotting my untimely demise. That's a scarily likely thing, 800, I am now positively terrified.

Gobstone fantatics. . . I shudder. I'm sure they're a lovely bunch when they're not running over me and my display of fairy lights.

I hope so--about Devyn impressed by the Brie. I know she liked it, but. . . impressed is a whole other leve. That's like going from watching seals swimming—I like that, that's cute—to watching seals take over popular Las Vegas circus acts.

Final, yes. FInal chapter of my internal monologue. I hope you enjoy it, 800.

Hmm. . . I do like that idea. I like that idea a lot. I'll make a note to check with the Scamander twins next time I see them. They're so little and adorable. Your career advice is amazing. I wish everyone had a you to talk to about career choices.

Until next time, 800!
Jamie Nott

 Report Review

Review #3, by ad astra Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Jamie, by way of your parental supervision (hi Em)

Fourth wall? What fourth wall? Hello readers! I've told you about me. Why don't we hear about you? What's your story?

Yes you, you who is currently reading this. Hello there!
I thought I was being so sneaky, Jamie, and you knew all along.

Gail has got her tentacle wrapped around me tightly in the abdomen areathat was the strange squeezing sensation I felt. She's lifting me into the air andgood Merlin, NO! And here I was thinking that strange squeezing sensation was you overcome with feelings about Devyn. I've done you a disservice, Jamie, I should have realised a rogue squid tentacle when I read one.

Do you speak Squid? Or do you and Gail just have a deep understanding that transcends language? Incidentally, did you name her Gail or did she tell you her name? I'm intrigued.

Devyn levitates me to the Hospital Wing after we find out how hard it is for me to move. You're a lucky man, Jamie.

Analysis Paralysis. Grumuck is a witty little banker, isn't he? I need to start using this in real life all the time.

Cheerio, my man.

Author's Response: HIYA, LISA!

Parental supervision? That's probably more like it. Em is almost like a second mum sometimes. Or a first one since my mum probably doesn't know I exist anymore. And I mean that literally. And when I say literally, I mean that actually literally.

About that fourth wall. Em told me that people from beyond this thing called a 'fourth wall' know my story. That's where these letters are coming from, she said. Are all people from beyond the 'fourth wall' some sort of overlords or all-powerful deities?

Did you? Hmm. . . tentacles and feelings are radically different things, though. :P I like you a lot, you're funny. I mean that in the best way possible, of course. Ah, that's alright, Gail's a very sneaky one. She's quite the trickster.

Do I speak Squid? In a sense. I can communicate to creatures beyond humans and house elves. I guess you could say that I do speak Squid. And fairy. And Pixie. And others. Gail told me what her name was, yup. :D

Thank you so much, Lisa. I guess I am. Devyn's. . . amazing, though maybe that's a bit of an understatement and not the right word. . . Devyn is. . . Devyn. She's unreal to me sometimes.

Grumuck, sweet, old, grumpy Grumuck. He's the best.

Again, thank you so much for these wonderful letters. I really, really do appreciate them. They make me feel a tad less alone.

Cheerio to you as well, Lisa,

 Report Review

Review #4, by ad astra A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Jamie (c/o your ever-benevolent overlord Em)

Oh Jamie. Bless your beautiful awkward besotted stumbling soul. This monologue of yours was a delight to read and not because I enjoyed your discomfort. at all

Am I allowed to emasculate you a bit and call you adorable? because you totally are. you're an absolute cutie-pie. Look at you making quiches for the girl you like and bringing her berries and having a favourite house elf.

Speaking of, I look up at her. She sees the awe in my face. Her eyes are brightened.

"You just changed my life," I whisper.

She leans in closer to me. "I know," she whispers back.
Jamie my boy, I'm sorry, but I feel like you and Devyn were on different pages during this particular exchange. The berries sound amazing though, I'd love to be fed one by a pretty girl next to a lake

I hope your brain is almost literally returned to you unharmed soon, because you're going to have a hard time getting through the rest of this scene - I mean experience - without it. Godspeed, child.

Author's Response: Hello again Lisa!

The ever-benevolent overlord. That's the best description of Em that Em's ever seen, I bet.

Yes. You is right. I is awkward, bestted, and stumbling. It's very kind of you to say that I am in a beautiful way. I really appreciate that. Thanks, Lisa. And I like chatting with you, too. These letters from you are a delight to read as well.

Yup, lots of discomfort here, there, everywhere, in a box, with a fox. . . I'm rambling. Sorry.

Funny thing about this emasculating bit. . . I haven't really specified my gender yet, now haven't I? Hmm. . . In any case, I shall gladly take this 'adorable' compliment and the 'absolute cutie-pie' one. I'm red. Any more of this and I'll be scarlet. And any more after, I'll likely combust. I mean I am so glad you think all of this is cute. . . I hope Devyn thinks so. Gingky did say it was a good idea.

Different pages? Yeah, you're right about that. No need to apologise though, I'll just try something else, 's not your fault, Lisa. :D Well, berries are best fed by pretty girls next to lakes! I mean, not that it's a regular thing for me or that it's just any girl--just Devyn for me.

Scene! Hahaha!! As if it was a movie or a story. You're very funny, you know? Thanks for the godspeeding and the lovely letter, as always.


 Report Review

Review #5, by bittersweetflames A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

28th June 2015:
Mini quiches. YUM. Perfection in a few bites (or one very LARGE one if you're greedy like me.) But, mhmm as I was reading it was quite the perfect way to ask someone out. Much as it pains me, you might really have to thank James Potter -grumbles- OK, GOING BACK TO READING. And lol, that smirk.. It really does sound cute. No worries, I won't tell Devyn you said so. It really sounds super scary. -nods- AND WOW. I didn't expect that Devyn would be in Slytherin. I LOVE IT. A hugglepuff and slytherin friendship I love inter house friendships. :) Gingky is a sweet name by the way. Please tell her.. BUT AWWW.. HE COOKED QUICHE FOR HER? be still my heart. And haha, out of a hundred is really really harsh though. OKAY, WAIT. I want choco-covered Wigen berries. It sounds so delicious. AND OH DEAR ME!! You end it there. How could you end it there? Cliff hangers are not good. They're are not nice. I protest with all my heart. hmp. Oh. Ah, thoughts on Devyn you say? I like Devyn. She seems to be a perfect match for you. Then again, that's quite a superficial assessment on my part. I'll let you know next chapter. :)

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Greetings Carla!

Mini quiches are a very awkward-sized food: their always a bit too big for one bite, yet too small for two bites. What is one to do?

James Potter has interesting woo-ing techniques, yup. I'll give him that.

It's adorable. Sometimes, she does this think where her nose crinkles and sometimes the tip of it twitches a bit and—I'll stop rambling. Thank you for not telling Devyn. That's very reassuring. Phew. Cheers, Carla.

I love the term hugglepuff. We do tend to hug more than other houses. There was a survey done, it was proven.

I will tell Ginkgy that! I will definitely tell Ginkgy that you like her name. I like her name too. I like Ginkgy as a house elf. She's sweet. She hugs a lot, too.

Quiches and chocolate-covered Wiggens berries, yup, because Devyn taught me to make quiche and her favourite desert is chocolate-covered Wiggens berries. I mean, I do want her to enjoy the picnic.

Aww, Carla, I'm sorry I upset you with. . . my really dramatic feelings? the cliff hanger? squid hanger? Ah, you'll see.

Thank you again for writing to me! i really enjoy these review/letter things! You're very sweet.


 Report Review

Review #6, by bittersweetflames The Two Laws of Hogwarts

28th June 2015:
Hi, Jamie! This is the first time I am reviewing a chapter/story that deals with a character monologuing (and so conveniently breaking the fourth wall. Tis a troublesome wall.) BTW, may I say that the Two Laws of Hogwarts is so profound it can almost be the two laws of life? (OK, OK, maybe not) Anyway, I love everything. From the very start it is cute that we immediately start empathizing with Jamie. I mean, really, who hasn't been the victim of awkward teenage romance??? (I DARE ANYONE TO RAISE THEIR HAND. -glares-) But, ok, Jamie is a very interesting person. I'm sorry, you're not perfect but perfect is boring in which case, you're not boring at all. James is funny I never much really liked James as a person but he's not that hateable in this universe. Although, he still strikes me as a bit overt. If you know what I mean? I love that R.O.R. means Rambunctious Order of Redheads It had me snorting the entire way through.. What a perfectly apt meaning although I doubt they'd name themselves that. Still funny though.. Anyway, you really should drink Hagrid's brew. Mushrooms can be cultivated and it's all good. Perhaps you can feed them to a magical creature?

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hullo Carla!

Lovely to meet you! I'm Jamie. . . but I guess you knew that seeing that you addressed me by my name. . . I'll just. . . move along then.

Tis a very troublesome wall, that fourth wall is. Very wise you are. Speak true, you do.

You could say, Carla, that the two laws of Hogwarts are the two laws of life. . . of anyone who's ever been to Hogwarts.

Yay empathy for me! Thank you. You're a lovely person with a good taste in people. :D 'awkward teenage romance' is such an apt description for what's going on here. (Em started to raise her hand when you glared. . . What is wrong with you, Em?)

Thank you for thinking I'm interesting, Carla! Most of Hogwarts doesn't, which I suppose is fine by me. Anyway, I think you're interesting, too. And, nah, no need to apologise, I enjoy my flaw-fulness. On occasion. When it's not detrimental to. . . me. Moving on, thank you! I think you're not boring, too!

James is quite a riot. He's a good lad and very willing to just chat, very friendly, very extroverted, also, yes, overt at times. I guess that's how most of Hogwarts can call him a friend? :O This universe? As though there are others? DO YOU HAVE ACCESS TO OTHER UNIVERSES? Is that what it's like beyond the fourth wall? Ooh. I want to see that.

Rambunctious Order of Readheads is, admittedly, a rather out-there hypothesis I thought up. Seeing, though, that I still don't know what R.O.R. stands for, it shall stick.

Did I tell you about that one time one of Hagrid's 'oh-yes-I-can-totally-believe-that-it's-not-tea" turned my finger blue? And I hadn't even drank it yet, I happened to accidentally stick my finger in my tea. . . don't look at me like that, Carla, it was OWLs time and I suffering from 'thinking about studying when I should be sleeping and thinking about sleeping when I should be studying and getting neither sleeping nor studying done at all.' There needs to be a name for that condition.

Thank you so much for this review, Carla. It's such good fun to read!


 Report Review

Review #7, by ad astra The Two Laws of Hogwarts

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Dearest Jamie (c/o Em 'pointless_proclamations')

Firstly, I greatly appreciate your Laws of Hogwarts. The first one almost seems like a trope of the genre, you know? Not that I'm suggesting your life is fictional or anything. Just an observation. Keep it real.

Your internal monologues are stellar, Jamie. You're obviously a witty kind of bloke and I appreciate your take on the world, especially things like the Rambunctious Order of Redheads and your matter-of-fact Devyn Yang is my best friend. This is our 7th year at Hogwarts. While I have plans to go back to South Africa and start working in a Magical Creatures Sanctuary, Devyn has plans to become a chef. I think I may be attracted to her.

A grand proclamation. I think your author has a thing for name-dropping herself into your life. I mean, what? Author? I didn't say author. Do you have any close friends called Em, perchance? Authority figures in your life? All-powerful deities? Just asking.

'll take any excuse to spend time with the Hippogriffs and to avoid having to drink this goo, however kind enough he was to make it. All class, Jamie Nott.

10/10, would read again.

Author's Response: Hello there Lisa!

Tropes? I guess you could say so. The laws do apply to the overwhelming majority of Hogwarts students and alumni. Sometimes, it almost seems like it's fictional. You know, when so much of the world don't know that this other part of the world exists. . . like my mother.

I am tickled pink you like reading my thoughts, I suppose. Thank you for complimenting my brain (?).

Again and again, thank you for all these compliments. Never really thought of myself as witty, I guess.

Haha. Good Merlin, you had me very, very confused for a moment. Yes, I have an Em. She talks to me sometimes. Are we friends? I'd say so. I never really considered what she is, though. I don't really know actually. Maybe she is an all-powerful deity. Hmm. . . I'll have to ask her.

Em? Are you an all-powerful deity?

*. . .*

She's not replying right now, I think she's sleeping.

Anyway, 'all class,' yup. . . that's me. . . well, that's me trying, at least.

Thank you for your thoughts, Lisa! You are amazing fun to chat with.


 Report Review

Review #8, by PolyJuice_ The Two Laws of Hogwarts

27th June 2015:
Hello, Ine. Of course your story starts off by explaining the laws of Hogwarts. :laugh:

This was a wonderful chapter. I think this is the first time I've ever read something of yours that's not House Elf Chemistry, and boy did I love it. I didn't know you could write so well! :P Well, I mean, of course you can. You're Ine. You can do everything.

Basically, I loved this chapter. Jamie is hilariously awkward even in his own brain and I was left both giggling and cringing at his antics. Practicing asking Devyn out in particular. Oh dear, I was just afraid she was going to walk by and question him. And his questioning of the use of the acronym ROR, omg. He sounds like you, not knowing the hip slang. ;)

Dear Jamie - You're a loser. A complete and utter loser and I love you and I want to pick you up and squish you because of it. I'm gonna squish you so hard that Hagrid's "tea" will be wrung out of you as if you were a sponge.



House Cup 2015 - Slytherin

Author's Response: Laws, Liz, Laws everywhere. Em's Law of Relativity, Em's Rule of, you know, Analogies. All the laws. All the rules. Always.

Bahaha! I didn't know i could either, really. Just words, innit? Put them together. Try it out. Sometimes they work well together. [shrugs]


All these people, Em, they just put worries in my head. One told me I seemed nervous, which made me nervous, now this one, Liz, is it? This one's exploring the possibility of a Devyn passing by while I practice. Even though I'm on the roof. She could be anywhere right now. Noo. Why'd you do that?

Is that not what ROR stands for? I don't know. Wotters. I don't understand them. Strange bunch. . . conquering all the houses, taking up a majority of the houses. Hip slang? (you know this was coming, Liz) Didn't know there would be other words for 'hip' in English. Teenagers these days. . .

Yes, total loser. That's me. Ooh! Squishes. They're sound cuddly. But, oh dear, until Hagrid's unknown liquid substances will be wrung out of me? Sounds painful now. That's very graphic of you.


Jamie (and Em) ♥

 Report Review

Review #9, by TreacleTart Bugger

27th June 2015:
Jaime! Jaime! JAIME!

I had to rush right back and see what happened...and once again for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor! Rawr!

FINALLY! Geez. It took you long enough to tell Devyn how you feel and even then, she still had to lead you into it. Mate, you need to get it under control. You sounded like you'd been hit with a babbling curse.

I think the picnic was a good idea. Sunset? Cheese? Sparkling cider? Talk about a mood setter. She was totally telling you she was interested by suggesting that. You've got a few things to learn my friend.

Gerrard's speech was so lovely. I'm sure the house elf that he's going to say it to will be a complete puddle of emotions. (Are you taking notes, Jamie?) The only thing I was a bit confused about/unsure of was why the house elf was there to begin with? I mean, I know he was rehearsing, but how did he find you two out on your picnic?

Anyway, I'm so glad that you and Devyn have finally said it! Now that you're past all that complicated stuff, maybe you can get to some kissing action! I'm with Lisa, Joseph, and Meg! I demand kisses!


Dearest Em,

In regards to your social experiment, I guess I never really gave it much thought. Jaime is a gender neutral name and you never do specify without, so he could either be a man or a woman.

For me, it doesn't really change much regardless. I enjoy the story and the budding relationship and that's all that really matters to me.

Good work!


Author's Response: KAITLIN!! Kaitlin from the past.

Babbling curse? My mum used to say something similar to me when she was still around. I know, that was, that was not my best moment.

We were actually in the kitchens. . . Gerrard was in the kitchens, too. When it's too dark outside, we sometimes eat in the kitchens. Gerrard is an interesting fellow. Certainly more eloquent than the majority of us. He's always lovely to chat with.

Kisses? Ermm. . . Well, I. . . I. . . Alright! Alright! I guess I'll get on with it. . .


Kaitlin, this information is invaluable to me. Thank you so much! ♥ I am thrilled! Your reviews to Jamie have been such fun to read and respond to. Thank you so much for that, too!


 Report Review

Review #10, by TreacleTart But I have another plan

27th June 2015:
Hello there dearest Jaime!

I have another review for you for the House Cup 2015- Gryffindor!

First things, first...that yummy delicious cheese that you bought for Devyn is spelled Brie not Bree. Easy mistake to make though.

Anyway, back to your story! I'm happy that you went back to Gail. Seriously, imagine how lonely it must get in the lake for her. I mean she is the only Giant Squid in it, right? She's probably starving for some love and attention.

I do agree with Gail that roses can get a bit cliche. That always seems to be the go to thing for a boy to get a girl. Not that I'm complaining of course, just that I think your fairy lights and Brie is a much more unique idea. Plus, who isn't a sucker for delicious, gooey, ripe cheese?

Could you maybe send a rose haw my way? These rose bushes of Hagrid's sound amazing. I'd love to have flowers that big! And the fact that you were able to converse with the bush was even better!

I love the way you painted the picture of the fairy den. You have a very lovely descriptive quality in your telling, Jaime. I could quite vividly imagine everything that you were talking about and it made me want to go there.

I'm sorry that your plans literally got crushed by stampeding students, but I imagine that Devyn will appreciate the intent regardless? I hope.

Good luck buddy. I'll be back soon!


Author's Response: Hello again Kaitlin!

House Cup 2015? That was a while ago. EM? EMMM! What is going on? They are people from the past? What is this?

Brie, I see! Thank you for correcting me. :D

I did feel bad for ignoring her for a while. She really can get lonely sometimes. I mean, there are the merfolk and other life forms in that lake, but she likes people, too. . . Well, she likes some people. She doesn't have many friends within her species, so I learnt some Giant Squid communication so she wouldn't feel too alone.

Roses? Roses are definitely much too cliche for Devyn, but I was thinking I'd give them to the fairies. They like roses. They made for a nice trade, too. i got fairy lights. ;) Yes, delicious, gooey, ripe cheese. . . perhaps with crackers and sparkling cider and grapes and a candle-lit room and maybe some really chill music. . . but I'm getting carried away right now. Err. . . right.

I could most certainly send you a rose haw! Must be careful, though, you never know what sort of personalities these roses could develop.

Kaitlin, you are much too kind. Your words about my words are much too nice words.

Not just my plans either, I think a bit of my pride, my left foot, my resolve, and nearly my face went with my plans, too.

Thank you for the much-needed luck, Kaitlin!

Jamie (and Em)

 Report Review

Review #11, by TreacleTart Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

27th June 2015:
Jaime! Jaime! Jaime!

I'm back to catch up on your story! This time for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor! Rawr!

That was so amazing! Believe me when I tell you that I never imagined the squeezing sensation around your stomach being the Giant Squid! And her name is Gail?! I'm with Devyn on this one, that is hilarious. I'm pretty sure Devyn is going to tease you about this for the rest of your life. Not that you'll mind I'm sure! :D

I was a little confused about why Madame Longbottom put you in a body bind curse though. What exactly happened to you? Were bones broken and she didn't want you to move until they'd mended? That seems a bit extreme, but I suppose students probably have a propensity for sneaking out or not obeying orders.

That was quite sweet of Devyn to show up with a Quick Quotes Quill and parchment. It's like she'd read your mind. You know how you think she's amazing and wonderful? I'm getting the feeling that she feels that way about you too. God job buddy!

In closing, I'd like to wish you continued success in your pursuit of Devyn! And I can't wait to see what this epiphany was!


Author's Response: Kaitlin! Kaitlin! Kaitlin!

[hides as you roar]

Gail, yes. Gail is the Giant Squid. You're with Devyn on that one? But that was so mean. . . She might what? huh? Don't give her any ideas! Well. . . suppose you're right. She's hilarious.

Madam Longbottom likes to put patients on body-bind curses because they have been known to sneak out even when they need to stay in bed. It's a safety precaution she says. To, yup, fix me up proper.

She has a weird way of doing that--knowing what I'm thinking. I guess that's part of why I like her. And I say 'like,' but, you know. . . I know, yup. You think she thinks that? That's so sweet of you. Good Merlin, I hope so. I don't know. I'm alright. [more redundant rambling edited out by Em for word-limit purposes]

Thank you so much! That's very kind of you. ;D


 Report Review

Review #12, by Unicorn_Charm The Two Laws of Hogwarts

7th June 2015:
Hey Jamie! I thought I would stop by and say hello, since I've been a total slacker and have not yet. :( How are you, how's things?

I must say, you're absolutely correct about that first law of Hogwarts, aren't you? I love the opening to your story, by the way. It's true, clever and funny. :) Clever and Funny, just like this girl Em that I know. Are you familiar with her? She's brilliant. I think you two would get along famously! ;)

Aww how cute are you?! Practicing asking Devyn out! Can I hug you? *hugs*

I can totally relate. Even though I do not know any magical creatures personally (although I'm becoming more and more suspicious of my male cat.); I do tend to gravitate more towards animals, too.

Oh no! It's alright. You know Hagrid, he'll totally not mind. We all know he's a big softy. ;)

Wow! What a large family you have! I know I knew that, but it still shocks me. I thought only have 2 brothers was enough. I can't imagine 5 siblings! Trying to use the bathroom, or loo(?), must have been a nightmare!

Aww! Why did they have to obliviate your mother? That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear that! *hugs*

Um... I might know what the R.O.R. is. I could tell you, but it'll cost ya. ;)

Hahaha oh James has the subtly of a blunt ax, doesn't he? XD

I have heard of that Kluge girl! She's actually not as scary as she seems. Just a little misunderstood. Her heart is in the right place. :) Give her a chance, she's not that bad.

The Rambunctious Order of Weasley Progeny haha! I love it!

Aww! I'm so happy to hear that Hagrid has had his house rebuilt after the war. From what I remember, it was burnt to the ground. :( I'm glad to know that Hagrid and his brother are well taken care of. :)

Oh that Hagrid. Bless him haha. He means well though, doesn't he? He has a gift for asking people to do things in a way that doesn't let them say no, doesn't he? Seems like that hasn't changed one bit, either haha.

I've heard that Hagrid's cooking isn't really the best. Maybe it's better that you did run off... ;)

Jamie, could you do me a favor? If you see Em, can you tell her that she is amazing? That she is incredibly awesome, supremely talented, creative, wonderful, funny and unbelievably fantastic? Thank you, dear! :)

I truly do love this story and feel so honored to beta this for you! I absolutely adore you endlessly!!


Much, much, much love and many hugs!!
Meg ♥

Author's Response: Hello there Meg,

I am well, thanks. Things are alright. . . I think.

Em's around sometimes. I don't know what she does. She brings me mail sometimes with all these letters from a random assortment people.

As it goes, practice makes perfect; and I don't want to screw this up. I'm sort of. . . nervous, I guess. It's Devyn. It's hard not to be. I mean I'm not ever really nervous when we're friends and all--she's great, but then--whoops, I'm rambling now.


It was a bit of a nightmare before mum knew and all, but then I guess those sort of things got easier after. . . you know. Because then we could enlarge our apartment on the inside with as many bathrooms as we liked. Then mum found out because I had a bit of an incident and she. . . she just didn't take it too well I suppose. Dad tried to calm her down and that didn't work and. . . he was really torn up about it. He misses her sometimes, but she's alright. . . well, she doesn't remember any of us. I miss her too sometimes. . .

You know about the R.O.R.? Good Merlin, really? I would very much like to know what it is--you mean it's not what I thought it was? Hmm. Alright then.

Hagrid. . . yes, bless him and his brother. They're getting on well. They're the best. Except when it comes to cooking, certainly. I felt a bit bad about that, reassurance is nice. Thanks there, Meg.

I would pass it on, but she's read it and is quite furiously red and attempting to attack my letter in some sort of violent hug or something. . . I don't really know what's going on there.

Jamie Nott

 Report Review

Review #13, by crestwood Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

7th June 2015:
Well, hello. My story...well, my story makes for interesting reading as well. But I fear that I don't have the characters available to get through even a fraction of it. For Em's benefit, I'll let you in on a little detail that may have some relation to a certain story. Some years ago, my friends and would often go on what we called 'midnight adventures.'

Gail sounds like quite the interesting creature. The bait and switch you pulled was a surprise, even for me. And I had my eyes peeled.

I find it hilarious that you seem to know Gail so well. And apparently, play with her. Yet another thing that I most likely would not have guessed to be true.

It seems that Devyn and I reaction to our friends' humiliation in much the same way.

The Hospital Wing? It sounds like Gail is not very good at playing.

Celestina Warbeck is an excellent singer, is she not? I only wish I could get my hands on a Greatest Hits album...

Oh wow, she snuck in to help him with homework? That's not what I expected at all. Maybe because I need someone to force me to do homework even when I can move.

Oh, the Croaker's Quartet is my absolute favorite band. Lovely music, just lovely.

Oh how I love Wizarding Monopoly. Another thing I've really got to get my hands on one of these days. I do wonder what takes the place of Boardwalk and Park Place.

I simply must know what this epiphany is about. I suppose I will find out next chapter. I won't even hazard a guess considering how wildly incorrect those tend to be. I'd move on right now and find out, but it's now past midnight and I've got to be up at six in the morning. Not the greatest idea on my part to stay up so late, I suppose.

Until next time, Joey.

Author's Response: Hello back to you, Joey!

Mate, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, but I'll pass that on to Em.

Perhaps it is having your eyes peeled that you didn't see it coming? I mean, that sounds like a painful procedure, I can't imagine why you'd ever do that? OH. . . I see, you're speaking figuratively. . . of course. Well, I didn't know Gail would do this to me three seconds before it happened. . . I hear maniacal laughter from Em.

Oh, Gail is such a sweet heart, you know, when she's not angry with me or annoyed with me or bored with me or anything. I talk to her sometimes, too.

Well, Schadenfreude hardly nice at all.

No she's not!! The first time we hung out, I was hospitalised for 3 nights. She just doesn't know how strong she is sometimes. . . or how breakable we are.

She is! Good Merlin, that Warbeck can croon.

it's Hogwarts mate, homework can be fun sometimes.

Croaker's Quartet is also my favourite band!! I just really love jazz. I wish the Croaker's Quartet and Celestina Warbeck could collaborate. That's a dream of mine, sadly I have no control over that.

I wish I could tell you, but I haven't the slightest idea what Boardwalk and Park Place are. They sound fancy, so they're no Knockturn Alley, I'm sure.

Lovely seeing you around again, cheers, best regards, sincerely, your pal, cheers again,

 Report Review

Review #14, by TreacleTart A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

25th May 2015:

Devyn is perfect! Seriously, I may have a lady crush now. She's sweet, but funny. She loves food. She has a good sense of humour about people teasing her arrogant prat of a brother. I totally get why you're into her. She sounds amazing.

I love the idea of the picnic! You definitely owe James Potter a big thank you for that one! I mean what girl doesn't like sitting by the lake enjoying all of her favorite foods which have been prepared by the guy she's enjoying the picnic with. It was very nicely executed!

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU BAKED QUICHE?! There is literally nothing sexier than a person cooking for you. It can literally be the simplest meal, but for me anyways, just the thought of not actually having to cook is amazing!

I'm wondering if you'll actually chalk up the nerve to tell Devyn how you feel though. It seems like the nerves are taking over and given the way you've chosen to end this chapter, I think we're in for a bit of a surprise in the next one.

I thought this was another lovely chapter about your life, which I'm finding more and more interesting as the story continues. Pretty please, hurry and write some more soon!


Author's Response:

Hi again!

DEVYN IS, ISN'T SHE? Now if only I could tell her that I've got a crush on her too, but then she's so amazing. What if she doesn't think I'm amazing enough for her? And now I'm nervous all over again.

I DO! I do owe that to James for encouraging me to go for a big romantic gesture, though I don't know if it made me more or less nervous about the entire asking-Devyn-out-thing. Planning it was fun, though--there wasn't much of it.

THANK YOU! Thank you for calling it quiche despite hearing Devyn's review of it. I TRIED to bake, yeah. I suppose I'm glad you find that sexy? That makes me a tad less nervous. . .Maybe, if you could tell Devyn that, maybe she'd see the romantic intentions of this entire picnic? :D

I umm. . . I might chalk up the nerve. . . eventually. . . I hope. Good Merlin, I need help, don't I?

Well, I am glad you find my life lovely and progressively increasing in the interesting. More soon, definitely!

Jamie (and Em)

 Report Review

Review #15, by TreacleTart The Two Laws of Hogwarts

25th May 2015:
Hi Jamie (Em),

I'm here for our review swap!

So the queen of internal monologues is back at it. I was really curious as to how this would translate for a different character, particularly someone who was the son of a Death Eater.

I immediately found Jamie very likable. He seems friendly and down to earth. His love for "non-humanoid" creatures is very endearing. There is something suspicious about a person who doesn't like animals. :D

I died laughing when I read R.O.R.P. It does seem that the school is particularly full of Weasley spawn. It must be pretty hard for some of the younger Weasley girls to get a date because they have so many older cousins and brothers to push guys around.

And can we just stop and talk about Devyn for a minute? HOW DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE A CHARACTER WHO IS A CHEF?! Even though I've only just heard of her, I love her already. Seriously, this is a character after my own heart. :D

This was a short chapter, but I didn't feel like I was losing anything from the length. It was a nice solid introduction into Jamie's world and the complexities of it. I'm really curious to see how it develops.

Oh and before I forget! I love his relationship with Hagrid. Hagrid is one of my favorite characters and someone that I feel gets short changed in the love and family department, so it's nice to see these two bond over a mutual love for creatures! Also, excellent work on mimicking Hagrid's speech pattern. He's hard to write, but I think you've done a bang up job of it!

Great work Em! I'm excited to see where this goes. It's definitely getting added to my favorites so I can catch up on all of the chapters!


Author's Response: HI Kaitlin!

Jamie here. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Em would like to thank you for all your compliments, but Jamie (me) is confused, but Em tells Jamie (me) not to worry about it.

Cheers to finding me likeable! Thanks! I mean, I'd like to think so, too. It's a nice reassurance when other people think so, too, isn't it?

You're absolutely right, Kaitlin. There's something fishy about people who don't like fish and other non-humanoid creatures. Em says it's equivalent to being suspicious of people who don't like a book series she reckons you've both read. Em, I doubt she'll know what I'm talking about if you don't give me the name of the series. What? About the boy with the glasses like circles, she says. And the messy hair. Em refuses to give me a name.

I reckon it would be. Opposite for me with my six younger sisters. But, I mean, the little Potter one, Lily, was just asked out by one of my housemates, one of the Peakes twins, she seems alright, but I don't know if they know yet.

Em is cowering in a corner, but giggling a bit. I don't know what's up with her, but I HAVE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE IS WHY, KAITLIN!

Devyn, yes, Devyn's lovely. . .

Kaitlin, Jamie's in a bit of a state right now, muttering 'Devyn' and sighing intermittently. I think I'll have to take over from here. I am thrilled to know that you thought this was a proper introduction despite the short length and that you're curious to read on!! That's always a major concern.

Hagrid is such a dear and i adore him and I was a bit sad that I hadn't written much of him before, but then JAMIE! Jamie loves Hagrid's field of work so I thought they'd get on spiffingly. I did imagine Hagrid to be someone who serves as a sort of parental figure/mentor to Jamie. I must thank Meg for Hagrid's dialogue. I wrote the lines, but Meg cleaned them up to Hagrid's speech pattern and she's a wonderful beta.

Thank you so much for your review, Kaitlin! ♥ I am so happy to know you've enjoyed it so far!

Em (and Jamie who is still in a bit of a state)

 Report Review

Review #16, by 800 words of heaven Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

16th February 2015:
Hello Jamie! I am back sooner than expected, since this time I read this chapter at a decent time.

Ah! Your quest for true crush has been thwarted by a playful Giant Squid. Happens to the best of us, my friend.

But perhaps this is a sign that you should spend more time with your non-human friends. Might you be neglecting them in pursuit of human companionship? The balance is hard to strike, I understand, but this may be a skill that you need to cultivate in order to have a successful career as a magizoologist in the future. But enough of that. I have harped on far too long on this particular subject.

Madam Longbottom is terrifying. She puts her patients into a full body bind? That's very hardcore. I can't imagine the state to be rather comfortable or restful, however. What if you get itchy? I'd die if this happened to me. Thank goodness you have a Devyn to come save you in situations such as these. She is a true friend.

I look forward to hearing about your epiphany in the next installment, Jamie! Until then, adios!

Author's Response: Oh, any time is a decent time, 800 words of heaven!

Phew. I'm glad in not the only one! But I guess it can't be helped, right?! Gail's sweet that way. And she's got quite the knack for reminding me about that, you're right. Maybe I should!

I see, 800 words of heaven. You give excellent career advice. Ooh! Brilliant idea. I could do both at the same time!

It is. But she's just really worried about us and extreme concerned for our well-being. In that respect, I do not dare argue with her. If I get itchy, and I did, good Merlin the rage an itchy and inaccessible nose can give, I kindly asked Carmen to come over and give it a little gentle scratching. She was kind enough to do that for me. ^_^

Devyn is, mate. Most certainly is. She's amazing. . .

That's so very kind of you. And to write to me, too. Thank you for talking to me!


 Report Review

Review #17, by 800 words of heaven A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

15th February 2015:
Jamie! I am back! I actually read this particular section of your monologue a couple of days ago, but I read it far too late at night to leave a coherent review. But I am, once again, here!

I think I must go meet this person Kluge. You speak a lot of her, and despite your misgivings about her, I find her intriguing. I am sure your fear is unfounded. And I wish Devyn's brother the best of luck because being spurned by love (or is it like like?) saddens me greatly.

I think your picnic by the lake was a great idea! I dearly hope that Devyn says yes. I know I probably would ;) But alas, you are not asking me - and rightly so since we hardly know each other.

The food that you eat! OMG. I want some. I also have never eaten these awesome-sounding berries, but like you, I feel the loss deeply. And this only because I experienced their amazingness vicariously through you! I really hope that along with your quest to woo your best friend, you continue to eat amazing things.

I am now very hungry, so I shall go and drink some tea and meet you once again at the end of the next chapter. Fair thee well, Jamie!

Author's Response: Hello, dear 800 words of heaven!! Hello again!

Please, should you do so, if you could so kindly refrain from mentioning me? I fear for my life. But now for yours as well. Be safe, 800 words of heaven. I like you, don't die on me. But I may just be exaggerating. She seems scary, but inactive. Good Merlin knows. As for Devyn's brother, I suppose the worst that could happen is that she'd say 'no' and scare him??

Would you?! That's wonderful to hear. 800 words of heaven, you make me redden in the facial area.

Yay for vicarious experiences!! I shall send you some. Or I would. If I knew how. :( EATING MORE AMAZING THINGS, 800 WORDS OF HEAVEN! I shall!! This is an exclent idea of yours!! More amazing food! Hmm. . . How about Bree cheese? That's always been a favourite of hers. . .

Is this chai you speak of? THAT tea?! I want some, too!

Fair thee well as well, 800 words of heaven, new friend of mine,

 Report Review

Review #18, by AdinaPuff Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

14th February 2015:
Hi, Jamie!

Oh dear, that was terrible and cute at the same time. It's adorable just how much Gail likes you. And you promising to play with her more often? That was perfect! I loved it.

And Devyn laughing at you--that shows a true friend there. I know I would have laughed at my friends if that happened to them.

But then Devyn came to see you! I really liked that. She's a good friend. Keeping you company. And telling your siblings what happened! I loved that a lot.

Great chapter! Loved it so much. :)

Good luck with your epiphany! Can't wait to find out what it is!

-Leigh xxx

Author's Response: Hey there, Leigh!

Glad to see you back again to join me for a good bashing by Gail. Yeah, she's too lovely too be mad at for long. Again, I redden, thank you. I'm happy you think so.

Schadenfreude, the hallmark of, yes, only a true friend. You know much about the world and friend-making, oh wise one.

She did! For homework. And jazz. By the wandlight. . . Was that a romantic moment? I could have! Aww! I totally missed that! She treats my sisters as if they're hers sometimes. That makes me very happy as well.

I am increasingly delighted and beyond delighted to see that, Leigh! Thank you for your luck!! Knowing mine, I'll need it. You're very thoughtful, thank you. :)


Love and hugs from Em.

 Report Review

Review #19, by AdinaPuff A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

14th February 2015:
Hi again!

I love the picnic idea. How sweet. And we finally meet Devyn! How exciting! I see Joey was excited to meet her? ;)

Ahh, Kluge! They make her sound terrifying. I love it. Poor Arden; Devyn definitely is a Slytherin. I love that little story there. It gives us some insight on Devyn's character.

I love the playful banter between them! You write them perfectly. And Jamie's little thoughts on what she does and doesn't like (berries and Quidditch) only show just how much he knows and loves her. Ugh it's perfect!

And I think Devyn might like him back. She doesn't back off and she seems to be just as playful. I love it!

- Leigh xxx

And! I forgot that I was supposed to be leaving reviews for Jamie! So here's a little message to Jamie:


So I love your idea for the picnic and bringing everything she likes. How romantic! As a girl, I approve.

You're just the sweetest thing. I love how you think of her. You know her like the back of your hand. Don't be afraid! Go for it! Don't let your butterflies and nervousness stand in the way between you and the love of your life! Listen to James! Think grand proclamation! That was the perfect opportunity! GO!

- Leigh xxx

Author's Response: Leigh! Hello again. :D

Yay!! I'll tell Jamie that the picnic was 'Leigh-Approved.' ;) and haha, yes Joseph commented about being excited to see her, so Jamie said something about that. He likes to walk between both sides of the fourth wall a lot.

Muahahaha! Poor Arden, definitely. Everybody picks on him! And, haha, yes, Annett does sound terrifying and it makes me so happy to see that you like it!! Devyn is so fun to write and I cannot thank you enough for giving me this prompt because it's amazingly fun! THANK YOU, you wonderful thing you.

Leigh! You're amazing! Thank you SO MUCH! You're too kind to me! Perfect?! Argh!! [hug tackle]

You think!! Devyn may! ;)

Love and hugs,

Leigh, is it?! It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. I'd shake your hand or hug you or something, but that's not possible I guess. Anyways!

Ah, well, I hope Devyn saw it as romantic as you did. Though, she didn't really act like it. Did she? I don't know! But I am thrilled to hear that you approve. Thanks, mate. :)

Leigh, you make me redden in the facial area. Really, thanks so much for all your compliments. Good Merlin, somebody get some toast and put it on my face, we can make some grilled cheese sandwiches right now.

Your pep talk makes me feel so much better! You are an incredible person for that! Thanks a whole pixie horde bunch! Grand proclamation, YOU GOT IT! Okay, LET'S DO THIS! HERE WE GO! OFF I GO! THANKS!


 Report Review

Review #20, by AdinaPuff The Two Laws of Hogwarts

14th February 2015:
Hi Em!

Sorry this took me a while to get to. But here I am!

I love the two laws of Hogwarts that you have at the beginning. It sort of gives you an outline and a hook to wonder and see what's going to happen.

I really like Jamie. He has this original mind and I love just how much he thinks about Devyn. It really shows how much he likes her. Especially because he doesn't really think of others a lot. There are the Weasleys and Hagrid, but not a lot of other people. It's nice.

I like James giving him the idea of a grand proclamation. Can't wait to see what Jamie comes up with!

Aw, I love him offering to do something for Hagrid to get out of drinking his 'tea'. That was nice :)

- Leigh xxx

Author's Response: LEIGH!

[hug tackle]

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your reviews!! I love them all. You are amazing! And you gave me such a pleasant surprise!

I am super glad to hear that you like the Two Laws haha! Thank you, Leigh!

Leigh!! I am thrilled beyond thrilled to see that you like him! I am super relieved that it came out like that. That it's clear how much he likes we because, you know, romance amateur here and all.

I have made a bit of changes since we last spoke so there will be at least a couple small surprises for you. ;)

Leigh, it makes me so happy that you think so!! Jamie makes a nice change from Annett in that he's actually nice. :P

Love and hugs,

 Report Review

Review #21, by 800 words of heaven The Two Laws of Hogwarts

14th February 2015:
Hello Jamie! It is a pleasure to read your story. Alas, this is the first time I am visiting the page on which your story is hosted, and this saddens me somewhat since it seems as if you are in quite good company. But I am here!

Jamie, you lead a far more interesting life than I do. I also admire you for your clear goal-setting. At your age, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I somewhat envy you, since you know what your vocation is.

You describe yourself as liking humans/humanoid, and I don't think that can be better exemplified than by your friendship with Hagrid. Despite his horrible cooking skills, you visit him regularly, are genuinely interesting in his life, and offer your help without expecting anything in return. I don't know how you treat your other friends, but Hagrid is lucky to count you as a homie.

Jamie, I wish you well on your quest to score a date with one Devyn Yang. Things are more complicated for you because of the best friend thing, but I am sure things will work in your favour. I am, after all, reading this on Valentine's Day, and that just HAS to mean something.

See you next chapter Jamie!

Author's Response: 800 words of heaven, hello there!

Ah well, that's alright, you are here now! Em says she'd like to give you a hug for that. Not give? Okay, she says 'maul.' She'd like to maul you with a hug, Em that's kind of harsh? Anyways. . .

Nah, I'm sure your life is loads interesting. :D We all have our stories, I suppose. ;) Why thank you! It was a 'do what you love' kind of thing, I guess. Plus, the career opportunities the profs explore here are pretty helpful. I'm sure that whatever you choose in the future you'll do extremely well! Best of best of luck, 800 words of heaven. You already work wonderfully in your career as a Master of Awesome! :P

Aww, Hagrid? He's a lovely guy despite his horrible cooking. You cannot not love a guy like him. He does really cool stuff, too! He's what first got me thinking about my career opportunities. I owe a lot to him. 800 words of heaven, you make me red, thank you.

That's extremely kind of you and I really appreciate it a whole lot!! That's true and yes you are, let's hope your doing so can do something for me.

Happy Valentine's Day, 800 words of heaven!!


 Report Review

Review #22, by oldershouldknowbetter A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

10th February 2015:
Hello there,

We haven't met nor are we likely to, but I am assured that this letter will reach you. Em, or Pointless-Proclamations as she's known in the circles we frequent, is relating your story to us. Thank you for your candour and allowing us (speaking on behalf of the other readers) the opportunity to catch this glimpse into such a magical world. The world I come from is very mundane indeed and there is no magic here of the sort you are so used to.

We have been previliged to have had tales of your world before and as such we may know more about some of the events you relate than you do. But I cannot talk to you of events beyond your ken as I have not been authorised to do so; all the stories we receive are related to us in confidence and as such we must be circumspect in what we say to you.

Only one thing I will say, you may hear the name Annett mentioned by some of the other correspondants. Everyone has their story, look around yourself in the Great Hall after you have read this letter - no doubt you will see person after person who might have an interesting story to tell. I dare say Fred Weasley, who has already caught your attention today I don't doubt for a second, might have a simpler story to tell than others, but nevertheless everyone has something interesting to tell. Annett is one such and we have all been lucky enough to be allowed a glimpse into her life, as we have into yours. She, I am under the assumption, but I'll stand to be corrected, has not been privy to our knowledge of her life - unlike yourself. You might wonder why I am mentioning some Annett person; well it might surprise you to know that the Kludge girl has actually got a first name.

But enough of that, on to your second chapter.

I said it before, but it bears repeating. You are being extremely honest with us. And I truly hope all goes well with your picnic.

We learnt in the last chapter that Devyn wants to be a chef and I see that she has taught you at least one of her recipies. I'm glad you had enough courage to try it out. And it seemed you had impressed her, till she mentioned what the scores were out of.

Devyn is a big personality and I can see why some may find her likable, but she seems somewhat malicious (not downright evil though) and I would think it is fitting she is an inhabitant of Slytherin House. Younger siblings will always be younger siblings and thus a pain in the neck sometimes. I don't know if what his sister has planned for Arden is deserved, but you seem to think so - what did he ever do to you for you to refer to him as a 'prickly ___hat'? (one of the problems of the way we communicate, if I employ swear words the messages cannot be sent).

Well, I will lookforward to hearing from you again where I shall see, of course, if you actually summoned enough courage to ask the girl out (though from what I've seen of her, despite her charms, you have every right to be nervous around her.



A very good continuation of your story. I like the idea of 'writing a letter' to your protagonist, it is a wonderful device to get the readers interest. I know you are the author and thus making it all up, but if as some suspect that we live in an infinite universe of infinite realities, then somewhen, somewhere out there Jamie Nott not only exists, but is getting the letters we address to him.

A word of advice, if I may be so bold, do not insist upon the reviews being written exclusively for Jamie. Suggest that some, or at least a portion of each, are, but do not try to shoehorn every review into being one for his eyes. Not every review will be appropriate for his eyes and nor should it be. I think most people will get into the spirit of what you want to do, like I've tried to do with the above, but I found it difficult to actually review your story and what you've done with it in the confines of rigidly adhering to your desire that it become a dialogue with Jamie.

For instance, I find it amazing that you are using essentially the same technique to write this story as you did for TIMOASK, first person singular in the main isn't it? And yet you have a completely different voice for your protagonist. Yes Annett was a very singular person and such a strong character, that she is easily differentiated from just about anyone else, but still there is no question that Jamie is another person. There are traces of you - your particular voice - that occur throughout the chapters (some particular phrasing and the like) so I know that it is not a different writer being allowed to play around in your sandbox. But otherwise the two internal voices and characters are so different and descernable; it shows a remarkable talent for writing.

So the above is appropriate for you (and true btw), but not in any way appropriate for Jamie to see/hear - however it is that your inter-dimensional messaging system works. So that is my advice; don't insist upon it because that can make it a chore and one doesn't need anything to discourage people from writing a review. Encourage it certainly, because it's fun, and hopefully you will get more reviews like this - with embedded, and appropriate, messages for your protagonist.

I have enjoyed this quite a lot and am looking forward to more events to come to define the characters of Jamie and Devyn, especially in relation to the other inhabitants that we know of from your other story. Methinks that a certain young man interested in magical creatures just may collide with a certain young woman who is caring for a sick magical creature.

Once again,


Author's Response: Hi!

We have not, so it's very nice to meet you--you. EM! These people have no magic! They're Muggles?!?! Good Merlin, I am so in trouble. That's it. I'll--I'll be expelled. You said it'd be fine! And I thought I had enough to worry about when the other guy knew Arden. What is this madness?!

I guess I might as well answer the rest of is before I get exported to Azkaban. Tell my sisters I love them.

Oh. That's interesting. You have heard stories about us? Fairy tales? What are you even talking about now? EM! This one is confusing me! Are you a Muggle Unspeakable?

Are you saying that Muggle Unspeakables are tailing people like me and Annett Kluge? By the way, the knowledge of her first name hardly reduces the frightening power of her glares, but I appreciate that. She's not one to talk very much, is she?

Thanks, I hope it all goes well too.

Devyn's a sneaky one. 'Somewhat malicious,' as you put it--which was a very apt description of her, by the way. She's got a wild sense of humour. As for what she's got planned for Arden? There really wasn't a plan other than 'go to Arden, tell Arden that Kluge likes him back, go tell Jamie about telling Arden that Kluge likes him back.' The worst that will happen is that he'll ask her out and she'll say 'no,' right? Or are you telling me that Kluge will actually MURDER Arden?!

It's not so much as how he treated me, Arden hardly knows I exist. It's more about how he has treated those he has noticed. He has very little regard for people--not a very pleasant person in general.

Nervous? Well, I wasn't really until you mentioned that. . .

Andrew, at this point, Jamie has left. He seems in a bit of a state.

Thank you! I thought about it as more direct and instantaneous and less formal than writing a letter than being the other side of Jamie's internal monologue to create dialogue. I hope that makes sense. :)

Essentially, because it seems as though he's created and developed himself as a character, it's as if all I'm doing is hosting the account in which he tells you whats going on in his life.

Thank you so much for your advice. In my excitement to create more dialogue between reader and character, I forgot about that bit.

It is first person singular present tense! It felt like it should be. I suppose in my own character's head is where I feel most comfortable. I am thrilled to see that you think so! Thank you! :D 'Different and discernible' was very much the goal.

Very true. Poor Jamie would just get even more confused.

Beyond Devyn talking to Arden, I'm afraid there will be very little relation between these two and Annett. For continuity issues, they don't meet within the time TIMOASK takes place. Regarding Ronan, he'll probably want to be treated more like a human than the creatures that Jamie is used to.

Thank you again for this review! :D


 Report Review

Review #23, by oldershouldknowbetter The Two Laws of Hogwarts

10th February 2015:
OK, my Consumate Chemistry Correspondant I'm here to Relay a Review from your Requisition for Reciprocal Responses.

*sound of handbrake-on, tyres-screeching-to-a-halt*

Wait a sec, I'm not reviewing the Kludge story am I - it's the spin off.

OK, start again,

Hi there Em, finally here for the review swap after you did such a great job on mine.

I know, you've been reading my Next Gen story, so you know that it is going to be a romance, but I have all this set-up to get out of the way first. You have done in your initial three paragraphs what it took me three chapters to write.

It's such a truisim those first two laws and what it does is to set up the whole tone and character of Jamie. All the interviening years are just so much noise that doesn't have to be elaborated upon - the occasional 'remember when' or 'so-and-so always does stuff like that' will be enough to fill in any details we may need.

OK, so much for the first three paragraphs, I suppose I should review the rest.

Quote: 'Devyn Yang is my best friend. This is our 7th year at Hogwarts. While I have plans to go back to South Africa and start working in a Magical Creatures Sanctuary, Devyn has plans to become a chef. I think I may be attracted to her.'

Wow that is the most concise piece of exposition - everything necessary condensed down into just shy of two lines. Jamie is summoning up the courage to ask the girl out - so probably not a Gryffindor then.

Friends with Hagrid and fond of magical creatures is such a good fit.

From how he thinks of/reacts to Fred he is not in the center of all things Weasley, I wonder who his promised 'Weasley Connection' is? Oh, the answer is not long in comming; it's James. James and Jamie - that's a good fit and I can see the character of James almost making friends with him simply because their names are essentially the same.

I love your use of Acroynyms and I love it here where the reader knows/suspects what it stands for but you have your protagonist misunderstanding them.

James (instinctively? or is it because he knows Jamie?) asks him if he's summoned up the courage to ask the girl of his dreams out. Jamie relates to us that James isn't that close to him. He's friendly and he's even friends with ... wait a sec ...

KLUDGE REARS HER UGLY HEAD ! ( metaphorically speaking)



I love it when stories intertwine in the same AU. Not only is it a good way to get different perspective/takes upon the same events/characters, but a lot of the details and scene setting have already been done in the other story and so don't need to be done again. The only time will be when our new protagonist sees or reacts to something in an entirely different way; the times where seeing something through his eyes will be pertinent.

He listens to some James advice and, quite amusingly, adds to and expands upon the former, misunderstood acronym.

On to tea with Hagrid. Luckily I have my own version of similar events already written and with my beta being ... well, I suppose being betaen (Pronounced be-TAN, which must be the indicative present tense of the verb). Once it is betaen into submission it will be my next chapter to be submitted and, if you read it, I'm sure you will see the similarities but again brevity is not my strong point and what you have managed to convey in a few lines is all that was really needed to establish the scene and the setting.

So Hagrid has at least progressed; he has moved on from not only making inedible baked goods, but now has added to his repertoire with undrinkable beverages. So Jamie, as he stated at the beginning, is very seriously into the Magical Creatures. I like the conversation between Hagrid and Jamie - when one writes Hagrid, there are certainly a lot of 'yer's aren't there. Did you add it to your dictionary, or did you just leave it and put up with all the annoying red underlines?

Jamie almost escapes, but Hagrid (innocently enough) reminds him he's forgotten to drink his tea.

This is a good start and I didn't know before going into it that it was set in the Kludgeverse which makes it even better. I will certainly read more and I can see that the second one is up, so Tally Ho and onwards.


Author's Response: Hello there, Andrew!

Bahaha! Thank you. I'm am glad you like the first three paragraphs and two laws of Hogwarts explained within them. Similar to the casual spontaneous combustion of milk, this one was written completely sporadically. It was one of those lines that 'just happen' and 'just seem to end up fitting.'

You might be interested to know that I considered paraphrasing the lines of 'Pride and Prejudice,' though it didn't fit Jamie's voice.

I would imagine it would be hard to be fond of magical creatures and not Hagrid at the same time. That bit seemed to write itself all on its own. Most of this story seems to be a product of that phenomenon, though.

See, I have no idea where Jamie gets these things from! This is not me writing this story anymore! Jamie's practically making himself up at this point.

James seems to be close with the entire student population of Hogwarts and there is hardly anyone he doesn't know or hasn't talked to.

Oh, there will be much, much more to come in this universe. . . More that more closely relates to Annett Sinclaire Kluge, herself. And science, but back to this story. However, this one won't look too much at Annett.

I do look forward to reading it once it has been 'betan into submission' and consequent validation.

There are times I feel that in being so concise about things I miss developing the scene a bit more, but I'm glad to see that you think this one is alright. Thank you for that.

Indeed he has. Haha. The poor students that are kind enough to visit him, yet do not wish to insult him. I think I managed to ignore the 'yer's because there wasn't too much of that in this conversation.

I'm thrilled to see that you've enjoyed it so far! Thank you so much for this amazing review and all your kind words!


 Report Review

Review #24, by crestwood A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

9th February 2015:
Why hello Jamie. I'm back again for the second installment of this thrilling tale and I'm excited to see how events play out this time. (I hope you don't mind me reading your thoughts, but you see, they're just so compelling)

That James Potter knows what he's talking about. I certainly was excited to meet Devyn and she did not disappoint. I simply adore this Devyn Smirk. I can relate to the desire to appear frightening. Fear is an enjoyable thing to inspire in others.

I am especially glad that Devyn is a Slytherin and acts like a gloriously devious snake. This is good.

She has quite the sense of humor. The bait and switch technique employed in her rating system gag was quite clever, I must admit.

Well I really wanted to know what happens next, but it seems I will have to wait and find out. That was quite a stopping point, I'll say. I am very much enjoying your thoughts as of now. Again, I apologize for reading them, but they're just so ridiculously interesting that I'm afraid it can't be helped.

Until next time, Jamie.

Author's Response: Hello again crestwood!

Aww, I suppose it's alright. I mean, if we keep this a secret?

I know! It's amazing that it actually worked! Well, kind of.

I am spiffed to hear that you like Devyn! Isn't she the best? She's--amazing.

Oh you're on HER side with the quiche? Mate, I actually woke up at 5 on a Sunday to do that! Ah well. :P she gets away with that because she's funny.

Do you? That's nice to hear, I guess. I'm glad you find my thoughts compelling? Thanks, mate. That's very kind of you. I guess there's no need to apologise for reading them, this is, after all, up here for a reason. I

Until next, then, crestwood.

Cheers mate,
Jamie Nott

 Report Review

Review #25, by crestwood The Two Laws of Hogwarts

9th February 2015:
Hi Em (Jamie Nott), so excited that you have a new story!! I didn't even know this was coming??? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!

The laws of hogwarts are kind of genius because it's funny how we all totally do this. If our characters talk to someone on the train, they're probably going to become best friends. And, of course, the Weasley/Potter kids always show up.

I can't believe you wrote a romance story. Like, a Next-Gen romance story just out of the blue where did this come from?! I'm so excited that you're doing this. SO. EXCITED.

Devyn Yang? Perhaps related to another Yang I know of?

Breaking the fourth wall is always appreciated. Also, Hufflepuff protagonists.

Jamie gets so totally lost in his sentences. He's got a really different voice than Annett for sure. And speaking of, he mentioned her and you've officially connected this into that universe!

I cannot wait to meet this girl he likes because it's just so rare for you to write such things.

I'm glad he hangs out with Hagrid and likes magical creatures so much. This is very different than most characters people write about because he doesn't seem to be the center of attention in any way.

This is an awesome introduction to this new character and just such a great surprise to stumble upon today. I can't wait to see where you go from here. Thank you so much for the swap :)

Author's Response: Oh good Merlin! People are reading this. Well, this is awkward? Awesome?

Anyways, hello--crestwood? Welcome to my mental diary. Greetings.

Umm. . . No. Actually. Uhh. You seem like a nice person. That would be horrible of me.

We? You go to Hogwarts, too?! Oh, good Merlin. I told Em, I told her we should go by another name. She was all 'but I like your name.' And I was all 'okay, fine.' You know, as long as no one from school reads this? And she was all 'don't worry about it.' Good, Merlin.

Well, while you're here. . .hi. I've said that already. Okay, we're moving on.

I'm glad you're excited. That's very nice of you. Where did it come from? Well, I've fancied Devyn for a while now. . . So yea.

Mate, please. Don't tell anybody about his, yea? ESPECIALLY not this other Yang you know of if the other Yang you know if is the same other Yang I know of. I don't think he'll care very much because he doesn't really know me, but if he tells Devyn. . .

Jamie is speaking to you, mate. Hello again. You speak weirdly. No offence.

Who's Annett?

Yay for Hufflepuff protagonists? Thanks, mate.

Him is me, mate. Good Merlin. I'll probably be seeing Devyn tomorrow, so maybe you might meet her then? She won't be meeting you, though. Such is the way of these kinds of things.

Pfft. I'm just Jamie Nott. Nobody really knows me. I'm not a Quidditch player, I'm not too well known around the school. So, yeah. That's probably a good thing, in my opinion. Wouldn't want to end up like Arden Yang, would I?

Hagrid's great, you know, mate? He's a fun guy except for the times he's trying to kill me by making me consume things only suitable for beings on a whole different branch of the phylogenetic tree.

Where am I going? I guess you'll see tomorrow? My tomorrow at least.

Swap? Oh, Em's swap. Right. She says thanks as well. She also says that she'll get to the next chapter of your collaboration with Lisa soon.

Cheers mate,
Jamie Nott

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login