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Reading Reviews for (500) Days of August
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by merlins beard Many Things

19th March 2015:
It seems a lot like Fred is in love with the idea of falling in love rather than the actual person he was with. i like the chaotic timeline. Did you write it like that? Or did you write it in one straight line and then mix it up a little?

Author's Response: Hi! I apologize for not getting to your other reviews yet. I've got 76 unanswered and they're coming super fast lately. You are making me SO HAPPY the way you're reading through all of my stuff. You're the best.

I agree that Fred was in love with falling in love, rather than August himself. That's how I read the film that it was based on, at least.

I actually did write it out of order. It took a lot of planning to make sure the order of the scenes made sense and that when I went out of order, it was for good reason and had some sort of impact.

Thank you so much for the review :)


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Review #2, by marauderfan Many Things

28th February 2015:
Hi Joey! I'm here to review your entry for the Non-Linear Challenge!

Gay wizard adaptation of 500 Days of Summer? I can already tell I'm going to like it. :D

I really like the way you started out, with this kind of disembodied, omniscient narrator. I can't remember how the film started, actually, but I just love the casual narrative voice you use here. It reads like it's in the voice of someone telling a story out loud.

“Really?” asked Fred. “I thought he looked pretty nice.” -- Heh heh. He looks like he's a nice person, or he is nice to look at? I see what you did there, Fred. ;)

Ok, but my silly pun appreciation aside. I loved the way you adapted the film into the wizarding world, and especially how you put your own spin on it. The ending was really great. I love it when stories don't end with the hero getting the girl/guy and riding off into the sunset. And in the case of this story, Fred isn't a hero in any way, in fact he's just seeing things that aren't there, and in the end he finds himself rather than having true love make everything all better. I really appreciated that, because he's in control of his own life again rather than relying on a fantasy. And it ends on a really hopeful note. I like that.

The way you portrayed the relationship between the two was so well done. I can't fault August for breaking Fred's heart, because he was honest about his motives. And I can't blame Fred for falling in love, because that's not something you can have control over. They're both good people, and they have their faults, letting their relationship go on longer than it should, when each day was just more difficult for both of them for different reasons. They just weren't right for each other, and that's how it is sometimes. It felt very realistic (even though we're seeing it through Fred's very idealised lens.)

As for the non linear aspect of this, you did phenomenally. Most of it was consecutive, but those pieces that were out of order were placed so deliberately and so perfectly that they really enhanced the story. The juxtaposition of the two scenes when they go into the corn maze stands out in particular; it really emphasizes how the passage of time changes their dynamic as well as highlights the feelings of both of them. I can't imagine it being told as effectively any other way, it was great. And the way you put the Day 154 declaration of love right before the earlier bit where Roxanne points out that they might not have much in common. It was just so well organized! I also liked the way the Day 290 scene with Roxanne was used in both places, as her more objective POV brings out a lot and gets Fred to get out of his own head for a bit.

And lastly, Ernie and Anthony from Kaleidoscope Love! So happy to see that cameo :D

This is a wonderful fic, and I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for submitting it for the challenge!

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Review #3, by Veritaserum27 Many Things

14th February 2015:
Joey!

Aaaghh! You made me read this - on VALENTINE'S
DAY?! How do you do it Joey? How do you make me
feel so much as I ride the wave of your stories
up and down - and then I feel it all at once.
Gah - Joey!

So I was a bit nervous to read and review this
because I haven't seen the movie that it is based
on.

As I started reading it, I was a bit more
worried, but you've written it so well, it became
apparent early on that I didn't need any
background - the words speak for themselves.

This is a perfect fic for the nonlinear challenge
and I really like how you chose to do it. I
actually loved reading the story this way,
and it worked so, so well at evoking emotions at
just the right time. The nonlinear part added to
the emotional turmoil Fred was going through.

At first I thought that Fred's heart was broken
at day 290, but that everything would work out.
It was just a bad time, right? We still had 210
days to go and fix everything.

Then I was like. Oh. No. They just aren't on
the same page. Fred doesn't see this and August
isn't the marrying kind, but Fred is in it so
deep, he just can't right now. Ugh.

Then when they broke up and it seemed for real
and Fred was still holding on I just though.
Okay, Fred - you need to see him one last time
and August will be moved on and doing just fine
and living the single life...

AND HE'S MARRIED?! WHAT-WHAT?

No - he wasn't supposed to get married, HE DIDN'T
BELIEVE IN IT, JOEY! HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN IT!

I found a very small typo here:

At wedding, August asked Fred to dance.

I think you meant to write “At the wedding,
August asked Fred to dance.”

Gah - and then I don't feel bad, because I'm
happy that August was completely true to himself
and he was always true to himself and honest with
Fred and I don't want to be happy for August,
because Fred is in so much pain.

And then you made it okay. Fred doesn't find his
prince or move on to another relationship or
finally land August at the end, but it's okay.
He's found himself, which was much more
important. And Joey, you made me think and love
and hurt all at the same time - AGAIN!

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Review #4, by Aphoride Many Things

14th February 2015:
Hey there, Joey! :) So excited to swap with you again - I always love swapping with you!

I had to drop by this story - it's got less love than the other one, though they both looked so exciting, and you know how much of a sucker for a good tragic romance I am :)

I love the way you set this up, like it's a third party telling the reader the story directly - it's such a cool idea, and you use it so well. It works so beautifully in this story, too! I love the whole thing about how Fred wanted to fall in love and had no one to fall for, too, and then how you start it with the break up, 290 days in. I've never read 500 days of summer, tbh, so I don't know if this is something you took from there, but I love how you're separating it into little sections with 'Day x' and so on - it makes the non-linear timeline so much easier to follow! ;)

I love Fred's character, too - how desperate he is to fall in love, and how determined he is that it could happen. It's almost heartbreaking, it really is, because you know it's not going to, and you know it's going to really upset him. But still, I love how it's a sweet thing, but it's also a flaw - so great! :) Also, August... I love how he's so upfront about how he doesn't want anything serious, and how he seems almost concerned about making sure Fred knows that for sure. He's not a bad guy, and that's part of what I love about them both - they just... miscommunicate. Lines get crossed, and then people get hurt. It's just one of those things, but so unfortunate.

Your writing in this is so, so good. I love the way you write the sections, and your description is so lovely - the mentions of the sunset and all. Your dialogue is gorgeous, too, it's so strong and so true to life, you know, and the whole thing is just so evocative and emotive, especially with the simple style.

I love the whole ending, too, with August married to someone else, having found the right guy and believing in true love, and Fred being alone and happier. It wasn't the expected ending, but I love it - it works so well for them! :)

All your details in this were amazing, as well - I loved the Quiberon Quafflepunchers mention and everything like that ;)

So yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling... the long and short of it is that I love this story and I'm so glad we swapped so I got a chance to read it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #5, by wolfgirl17 Many Things

13th February 2015:
Hey Joey,

I'm here for our review swap!

This was fantastic. Seriously, I don't know how
you did it, but I feel like you totally nailed
the concept of the 500 days of Summer idea and
the way you captured it here was really well
executed. I liked that you didn't have them get
that happily ever after, and that you had Fred
realise that life goes on and one break-up is
not the end of the world, no matter how much it
might feel like it at the time.

The way you managed to keep the days in order
was cool too. I'd have gotten so confused if
I'd tried to write this. I'd totally vote for
you as winner of the Non-Linear challenge.
Seriosuly, you're writing has been so great, I
feel like you're improving in leaps and bounds
with every fic I read.

I think the first fic I read of yours was
Morbid, about Teddy, and I must admit that
these recent one-shots do read with a high
level of quality than what I remember from
Morbid, though I was highly intrigued by Morbid
too. You're writing is just so compelling and
fascinating that I find myself always hoping
for more.

You also have a rare gift for portraying
relationships the brings them to life in a way
that others simply don't manage.

As always keep up the positively beguiling
work. I can't wait to see what you come up with
next.

xx-Ellie

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Review #6, by toomanycurls Many Things

13th February 2015:
Joey!!

I'm so glad you posted a swap for this. I agree
with you that (500) Days of Summer had a very
creepy feel with they way Summer was treated by
Tom - the whole entitled relationship/romance
thing really got to me. While you did take out
the misogynistic bits with Fred, you got
through the whole 'entitled to this
relationship' part down really well.

Part of me doesn't feel bad for Fred when
August leaves him. I mean, at no point did they
have that kind of relationship. If I have any
fault for August, it's that he let their
relationship carry on when it was clear that
Fred's feelings went deeper. I mean, I just get
so frustrated with these relationships where
they go into them knowing that they don't want
the same thing but go on and then feelings get
more hurt than they needed to. GAH, THIS IS WHY
WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

One of the sadder parts (that doesn't just make
me angry) is when August does find love. I
mean, Fred thought August was the one but that
August just didn't believe in that idea.
Nothing is harder than learning that it just
wasn't the right relationship for love. I feel
like you ended this on a nicer note than the
movie ended. There's more of an amicable ending
than the bitter one from the film.

-Rose

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Review #7, by pointless_proclamations Many Things

12th February 2015:
Joseph!!

This is infuriating. Wonderfully and magnificent written, but infiriating. I despise August. Is that okay with you? Can I do that?

I mean what a jerk! He could have at least said SOMETHING! Anything at all, actually. Yet he--ERGH!

I want to sock him in the face or across the head wth Grumuck's stone desk! It's ALL THE VIOLENT FEELS RIGHT NOW.

And it's not like he didn't have any chance to! He had so many chances. And he led this poor Fred on like that WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING?!

WHAT A HEAPING, NASTY, PUNGENT PILE OF GITINESS!! THAT--JERKFACE!

The conclusion of that angry rant is being satisfied with the knowledge that there shall be no good board times for him. Please tell me he gets no good board game times.

Moving on, the non-liner effect of this story is amazing. You've cleverly unveils each little aspect of their relationship in such a way that left me both loving and hating it at the same time. That may stem from you making Fred look better and better and August looking worse and worse, that nasty, self-serving git.

Your style of writing was, naturally, adding to the beauty of this lovely-not-so-lovely-because-August-that-piece-of-work-but-the-story-is-still-spectacular story. Really, amazing job on that!

Joseph, you should become a tour guide for the Wizarding World. You seem to know about all the great places: The Charmed Broom, that place where the 'mountains seem to unfold around you, with a perfect view of the sunset. . . '

I suppose there is are good things for Fred to be taking out of this: the first being that he's reevaluating his career and doing something about it, the second is tht he's got friends around him that will comfort him through endless games of Wizarding Monopoly.

That thought placates me, though I still feel the rage like a simmering pot of liquid rage.

The way Fred wished him happiness! JOSEPH!! That was incredibly sweet. What a character. And I mean that in a good, I-want to-hug-him-that-poor-Fred-look-how-sweet-he-is kind of way.

That aside, Joseph this is, as usual, unnaturally wonderful. Is it always feel-inspiring with you?

Okay, the ragey ones with this one, but there is no story of yours where I can read without being afraid of a feels-malfunction. The effectiveness of words and plot with you, you're too good. Why?

A last thought:
Do you want to know why Fred and August didn't get their happy ending? BECAUSE THEY NEVER PLAYED BOARD GAMES! Okay, maybe also because August is a git. . .

And gits don't get to play board games.

Author's Response: You know what Em? This review completely surprised me. I think I may have made Fred more sympathetic than I thought :P You see, in the film, his character is kind of sexist and I avoided that here and also in the film it's much more obvious that he was honestly just being kind of delusional about the whole thing and manufacturing this perfect relationship in his head and I must have totally not conveyed that here. I'm so interested in this reading of things.

This is so different than the way I was thinking of all of these events, it's so intriguing that you came to these conclusions. I think it has to do with the story being told from Fred's point of view and me not giving August's side of things, which makes things even more fun.

The way I see it, August made it very clear early on that he wasn't looking for anything serious and generally didn't feel ready to enter into a real relationship at the time. Fred, of course, agreed to this, but did not really expect August to mean it. So this clash of expectations could not go well at all. August found Fred exciting and fun at first, but pretty soon realized they didn't have much in common. So, finding himself liking him less and less and Fred starting to insist that they make things official, August realized that things had to end between them. And then, eventually August did meet someone that he actually fell in love with and got married. Fred did not take that very well and considered it something that came out of the blue, but I wanted some of the scenes, like the one with the blind date and the last one with Roxanne to kind of put everything into perspective. I think that maybe I didn't stress it enough that all of this was colored by Fred's viewpoint. This review almost makes me want to write this same story from August's point of view to show how all of this was a case of Fred hoping to make something out of nothing. Also--I wanted this to invoke thoughts of 'not everyone gets together in the end and that's okay' and I don't think I did that so effectively

I want to discuss this even more, but I don't want to run out of room!

I am really good at making places in the Wizarding World. I always seem to have to make up new ones for my stories.

I can't believe I made Fred so sympathetic. I have no clue how this happened. He's was meant to be more clingy than sweet.

Regardless of my failings at characterization, (or maybe just too ambiguous characterization) I'm glad it was well written and the plot made sense. Thank you so much for this review! It made me think so much more than one that agreed with me would have.


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Review #8, by jessicalorewrites Many Things

12th February 2015:
Hi!

Just thought I'd drop by to say I really loved this oneshot. You perfectly captured the themes and plot of (500) Days of Summer and pulled it into a piece of fiction seamlessly. In particular I enjoyed the non-linear effect and although that too is pulled from the film I just thought you made it work great here too :p The replacement of loving The Smiths (I think) to having Fred and August both love the Quafflepunchers made me giggle haha. And I was so so happy you managed to fit in the quote “You know, just because he likes the same weird, random French Quidditch team as you doesn’t mean he’s perfect" because it's my favourite (adapted) line from the film I think.

Anyway, great job this was amazing!! I really loved reading it.

- Jess, xo

Author's Response: Hi Jess! This is such an awesome surprise!

I'm so glad I was able to adapt (500) Days of Summer correctly! I watched the film and took notes and everything in order to get things right here. I was so excited to write this because I'm a huge fan of non linear stories, so this just made sense for me to do somehow. It was the Smiths in the film, but here I thought the Quafflepunchers would be suitable :P And I loved that line too, writing Roxanne in this was pretty awesome. Thank you so much for this review!!


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